he/she cheated on me, should i take her back?

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Author	Topic: he/she cheated on me, should i take her back?
Kill_and_let_die Junior Member Posts: 25 Registered: May 2004	posted 16 May 2004 02:46 PM what would u do is u found out that ur loved one was cheating on u? would u forgive them ? would u ask urself , what did i do wrong? or would u simply go.. alright u **** were history !! pls share Tanamo IP: Logged
Jameelia Junior Member Posts: 25 Registered: May 2004	posted 16 May 2004 02:58 PM depends on the cicumstances. If like some of these lady that are 2 "week wives" then they should accept it as they are not having proper relation with the man. If in a normal relation then no IP: Logged
Kill_and_let_die Junior Member Posts: 25 Registered: May 2004	posted 16 May 2004 03:06 PM well .. if it were to happen to you with .. say ur boyfreind.. what will u do? would ur reaction be different than that if it was ur husband quote: Originally posted by Jameelia: depends on the cicumstances. If like some of these lady that are 2 "week wives" then they should accept it as they are not having proper relation with the man. If in a normal relation then no IP: Logged
Jameelia Junior Member Posts: 25 Registered: May 2004	posted 16 May 2004 03:10 PM i'm single haha. it depends how long we be togther, who it was with how many times if he do it before that sort of thing. what r the circumstances? IP: Logged
Kill_and_let_die Junior Member Posts: 25 Registered: May 2004	posted 16 May 2004 03:21 PM well the circumstances.. ok lets say u like him ... and u caught him in the act.. u were dating him and he was kinda giving u the impression that he liked u too.. kinda was starting to be love.. IP: Logged
gebo Junior Member Posts: 28 Registered: Jan 2004	posted 16 May 2004 03:27 PM How can you know she cheats you?You like discuss not create your own world, don't you? IP: Logged
Kill_and_let_die Junior Member Posts: 25 Registered: May 2004	posted 16 May 2004 03:34 PM it a free world man.. as in do whatever u like.. might be i had a simliar situation but just dont wanna humilaite myself?? its not nice to be cheated on.. okay? it feels humiliating and pls.. have some courtesy will ya? IP: Logged
sunflower Member Posts: 61 Registered: May 2004	posted 17 May 2004 02:55 AM hi kill it is very hard 2 say what 2 do!! it dipends when and why it happend??! did it happen 2 u?! i would say, if it happend 2 u, then i would sit down and talk 2 ur loved one and ask her why she did it and how many times!! but only if u still want her and she is realy worth it!! if u dont feel anything anymore 4 her, then i would leef it!! cos if u still want her, then i would fight 4 her, i u realy want that!!! and its very important 2 talk 2 her....cos if she cheated on u, then something is not right anymore in the relationship anymore!!! mayb u didnt give her what she needed, or she fellt lonley, or.....this may sound hard....she doesnt like u anymore!!!?? anyway, what ever may come out, i realy wish u the best....cos i know how it is...i went trough it myself!!! good luck and a lot of love vanessa IP: Logged
sunflower Member Posts: 61 Registered: May 2004	posted 17 May 2004 02:56 AM what i also still wanted 2 say is.....listen 2 ur heart....it will show u the right way!!! salam vanessa IP: Logged
Jutta3 Member Posts: 215 Registered: Apr 2004	posted 17 May 2004 04:04 AM quote: Originally posted by Kill_and_let_die: what would u do is u found out that ur loved one was cheating on u? would u forgive them ? would u ask urself , what did i do wrong? or would u simply go.. alright u ** were history !! pls share Tanamo** It depends on your own ability to trust someone again who cheated you once. For me personally I know, that I would not be able to trust someone again after it. And then the absolutely necessary basis for a good relationship is gone. But I know other people who were able to trust again and who had a very fullfilling relationship afterwards because their partner learned out from his mistakes IP: Logged
karinfarid Member Posts: 238 Registered: Jan 2004	posted 17 May 2004 04:19 AM I can't talk about boyfriend/girlfriend situations, the very fact of a missing committment gives excuse to many things ("after all we're not like married, now aren't we?") In a marriage, just leave and get it over with.. once the trust is gone, the committment of you and me against the world, it is not going to come back. Who cheats once, most probably will do it again, and even if not, his/her partner will spend the rest of their lives doubting and suspecting. Marriage and love is no game to play, if someone looks for reasons, circumstances and justification for adultery, he/she will find them. Maybe I could forgive my husband if he cheated on me, but it'd be the end of our marriage, no matter what. salam, Karin IP: Logged
Jutta3 Member Posts: 215 Registered: Apr 2004	posted 17 May 2004 04:50 AM quote: Originally posted by karinfarid: I can't talk about boyfriend/girlfriend situations, the very fact of a missing committment gives excuse to many things ("after all we're not like married, now aren't we?") I think not to be married should never be an excuse for something. Maybe there are several sincere reason why people can not marry. Cheating is mean, no matter if you are married or not. And leaving a beloved one because you cheated him/her always means a big loss in life. IP: Logged
Saladin Member Posts: 78 Registered: May 2004	posted 20 May 2004 11:38 AM Well this is a tough one. Its not one of those things you can't reply to for certain. When you love someone sometimes you are willing to forgive instead of losing them. I had this problem, she cheated on me twice and I forgave her both times. The third time however, I made the difficult decision and ended the 2 year relationship. [This message has been edited by Saladin (edited 20 May 2004).] IP: Logged
Monica Member Posts: 2092 Registered: Aug 2003	posted 20 May 2004 11:46 AM MOST people in a committed relationship that cheat, do so because they are weak, have no self-control, and can't fulfill a commitment... and MOST do not change....there are probably some exceptions...but rare ... I saw it around me too many times! Many broken hearts, and broken families...because of cheaters and those who accepted their cheating and gave chances!! quote: Originally posted by Saladin: Well this is a tough one. Its not one of those things you can reply to for certain. When you love someone sometimes you are willing to forgive instead of losing them. I had this problem, she cheated on me twice and I forgave her both times. The third time however, I made the difficult decision and ended the 2 year relationship. IP: Logged
BoBBoSS Member Posts: 246 Registered: Jan 2004	posted 20 May 2004 11:50 AM look my friend, first i will ask myself what did i do wrong to make her loose her intrest in me or to behave this way , what did i skipped to make her do that ? or it was my bad choce from the start, it is s important to reach for a reason , then it worthless to talk to her because : 1) u loose your trust , and it is something can't be regained 2) u lost your pride 3)the sea is full of fishes, 4)those who betray don't know whta real love is ------------------ BoBBoSS IP: Logged
Monica Member Posts: 2092 Registered: Aug 2003	posted 20 May 2004 11:59 AM But if someone is unhappy in a relationship they should either try to understand what is wrong, work on it or end it ..when it comes to cheating: what for??? why resort to cheating? Maybe for very specific and extremely difficult and complicated expectional reasons.. But if there's love there should not be cheating. Why bother with the double life if at the end it will probably end!? I can't understand someone loving his/her/ partner, and hurting them that way! To me it's because there's no love, or the love has ended maybe... and the person is too weak to face the consequences... and it is probably a bad choice from the beginning! quote: Originally posted by BoBBoSS: look my friend, first i will ask myself what did i do wrong to make her loose her intrest in me or to behave this way , what did i skipped to make her do that ? or it was my bad choce from the start, it is s important to reach for a reason , then it worthless to talk to her because : 1) u loose your trust , and it is something can't be regained 2) u lost your pride 3)the sea is full of fishes, 4)those who betray don't know whta real love is [This message has been edited by Monica (edited 20 May 2004).] IP: Logged
BoBBoSS Member Posts: 246 Registered: Jan 2004	posted 20 May 2004 12:07 PM quote: Originally posted by Monica: But if someone is unhappy in a relationship they should either try to understand what is wrong, work on it or end it ..when it comes to cheating: what for??? why resort to cheating? Maybe for very specific and extremely difficult and complicated expectional reasons.. But if there's love there should not be cheating. Why bother with the double life if at the end it will probably end!? I can't understand someone loving his/her/ partner, and hurting them that way! To me it's because there's no love, or the love has ended maybe... and the person is too weak to face the consequences... and it is probably a bad choice from the beginning! [This message has been edited by Monica (edited 20 May 2004).] and so in both ways, it doesn't deserve the pain will be caused by facing her ------------------ BoBBoSS IP: Logged
Monica Member Posts: 2092 Registered: Aug 2003	posted 20 May 2004 12:19 PM What I understand is when the one that has been cheated on is shocked...and can't take a decision of breaking the relationship immediately, because of his/her highly emotional feelings of disappointment caused by the betrayal...But after the shock....a breakup looks logical to me! It' either to TRUST 100% or not! quote: Originally posted by BoBBoSS: and so in both ways, it doesn't deserve the pain will be caused by facing her [This message has been edited by Monica (edited 20 May 2004).] IP: Logged
BoBBoSS Member Posts: 246 Registered: Jan 2004	posted 20 May 2004 12:22 PM also bare in mind, it is humiliating sometimes, and i guess nothing is harder than loosing your pride from someone u used to love ------------------ BoBBoSS IP: Logged
Monica Member Posts: 2092 Registered: Aug 2003	posted 20 May 2004 12:37 PM I think that the cheater is in a way humiliating him/herself...believe it or not! quote: Originally posted by BoBBoSS: also bare in mind, it is humiliating sometimes, and i guess nothing is harder than loosing your pride from someone u used to love IP: Logged
BoBBoSS Member Posts: 246 Registered: Jan 2004	posted 20 May 2004 12:41 PM i think not, because he/she will do that for a specific reason ,,cares for nothing by his own intrest , and in this situation , it is a moment of pleasure that leaves behind it ages of sorrow ------------------ BoBBoSS IP: Logged
dajjal Member Posts: 46 Registered: May 2004	posted 22 May 2004 03:46 AM I suggest you leave her if she cheated on you. Like someone already mentioned in rare exceptions are the likely not to do it again but 99% of the time they will and leave you with greater injuries than the first time. Saladin mentioned his story which is also evidence of what I have stated above. Another more devilish route would be to continue to go out with her and cheat on her and make her find out so it becomes a mutual thing IP: Logged
Snowy Junior Member Posts: 3 Registered: Jun 2004	posted 10 June 2004 09:52 PM Personally i would leave him the second i find out that he cheated on me. I don't think there's any excuse for something like that.. that's my personal opinion.. IP: Logged
Troubles101 Junior Member Posts: 18 Registered: Jun 2004	posted 14 June 2004 09:16 AM quote: Originally posted by Kill_and_let_die: what would u do is u found out that ur loved one was cheating on u? would u forgive them ? would u ask urself , what did i do wrong? or would u simply go.. alright u ** were history !! pls share Tanamo** Move on her with a truck IP: Logged
alark Junior Member Posts: 15 Registered: May 2004	posted 14 June 2004 12:25 PM I just read your post. Well, honestly, don't ask yourself whether she's worth it, but whether you even want to give the time or energy in rebuilding this relationship. Obviously if she was more committed to you, and there were problems in your relationship she would have brought it up. Her first route would not have been to lead you on, then cheat behind your back. That just doesn't show very good character overall. If you don't think it's gonna work out in the end, better to walk away with dignity and have her wanting you back, then the other way around. IP: Logged
alark Junior Member Posts: 15 Registered: May 2004	posted 14 June 2004 12:27 PM Hahahahahahaaha!!!! Move on her with a truck, back up slowly then do that again. That's so cruel but funny. IP: Logged
xyphy Junior Member Posts: 1 Registered: Jun 2004	posted 15 June 2004 06:09 PM Two days ago, my girlfriend told me that she cheated on me...... twice! I was and am totally shocked.... i never thought that she would do that to me, especially with love involved. I did nothing to make her do this, so it wasn't for revenge.... dunno. She claims that she loves me and i know that i love her so i was thinking about giving her another chance. I don't even know if the relationship can be repaired, but i'm thinking, why not give it another chance. Im not sure if she will do it again to me though. Please post your thoughts and opinions on what i should do cause this is the first time that this has happened to me and i don't know what to do. ------------------ JoshJoshJoshJoshJoshJosh IP: Logged
Rimo Member Posts: 277 Registered: Feb 2004	posted 15 June 2004 06:53 PM quote: Originally posted by Kill_and_let_die: what would u do is u found out that ur loved one was cheating on u? would u forgive them ? would u ask urself , what did i do wrong? or would u simply go.. alright u ** were history !! pls share Tanamo** yeah sure, take them back, It's good to know what a doormat feels like. IP: Logged
Troubles101 Junior Member Posts: 18 Registered: Jun 2004	posted 15 June 2004 08:15 PM quote: Originally posted by xyphy: Two days ago, my girlfriend told me that she cheated on me...... twice! I was and am totally shocked.... i never thought that she would do that to me, especially with love involved. I did nothing to make her do this, so it wasn't for revenge.... dunno. She claims that she loves me and i know that i love her so i was thinking about giving her another chance. I don't even know if the relationship can be repaired, but i'm thinking, why not give it another chance. Im not sure if she will do it again to me though. Please post your thoughts and opinions on what i should do cause this is the first time that this has happened to me and i don't know what to do. Is it expensive to buy a truck in your country? Well, think carefully, when was this love when she cheated you? is it such a weak love that she had the ability to forget it that easily ? even if it's weak love she wouldn't be able to ignore it! secondly, forget about love,how about her respect to you ?she did it twice means she has no respect to you..very simple as that. If you love or respect someone you wont humilate him or her like that. P.S in my country u can borrow a truck for little money for one day,can u do that in ur place too? [This message has been edited by Troubles101 (edited 15 June 2004).] IP: Logged
brian04 Member Posts: 251 Registered: Feb 2004	posted 15 June 2004 09:38 PM quote: Originally posted by Rimo: yeah sure, take them back, It's good to know what a doormat feels like. lol... haven't seen u for a while Rimo... IP: Logged

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