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'My daughter deserved to die for falling in love'
Two weeks ago, The Observer revealed how 17-year-old student Rand Abdel-Qader was beaten to death by her father after becoming infatuated with a British soldier in Basra. In this remarkable interview, Abdel-Qader Ali explains why he is unrepentant - and how police backed his actions. Afif Sarhan in Basra and Caroline Davies report
* Afif Sarhan in Basra and Caroline Davies * The Observer, * Sunday May 11 2008
For Abdel-Qader Ali there is only one regret: that he did not kill his daughter at birth. 'If I had realised then what she would become, I would have killed her the instant her mother delivered her,' he said with no trace of remorse.
Two weeks after The Observer revealed the shocking story of Rand Abdel-Qader, 17, murdered because of her infatuation with a British solider in Basra, southern Iraq, her father is defiant. Sitting in the front garden of his well-kept home in the city's Al-Fursi district, he remains a free man, despite having stamped on, suffocated and then stabbed his student daughter to death.
Abdel-Qader, 46, a government employee, was initially arrested but released after two hours. Astonishingly, he said, police congratulated him on what he had done. 'They are men and know what honour is,' he said.
Rand, who was studying English at Basra University, was deemed to have brought shame on her family after becoming infatuated with a British soldier, 22, known only as Paul.
She died a virgin, according to her closest friend Zeinab. Indeed, her 'relationship' with Paul, which began when she worked as a volunteer helping displaced families and he was distributing water, appears to have consisted of snatched conversations over less than four months. But the young, impressionable Rand fell in love with him, confiding her feelings and daydreams to Zeinab, 19.
It was her first youthful infatuation and it would be her last. She died on 16 March after her father discovered she had been seen in public talking to Paul, considered to be the enemy, the invader and a Christian. Though her horrified mother, Leila Hussein, called Rand's two brothers, Hassan, 23, and Haydar, 21, to restrain Abdel-Qader as he choked her with his foot on her throat, they joined in. Her shrouded corpse was then tossed into a makeshift grave without ceremony as her uncles spat on it in disgust.
'Death was the least she deserved,' said Abdel-Qader. 'I don't regret it. I had the support of all my friends who are fathers, like me, and know what she did was unacceptable to any Muslim that honours his religion,' he said.
Sitting on a chair by his front door and surrounded by the gerberas and white daisies he had planted in the family garden, Abel-Qader attempted to justify his actions.
'I don't have a daughter now, and I prefer to say that I never had one. That girl humiliated me in front of my family and friends. Speaking with a foreign solider, she lost what is the most precious thing for any woman. 'People from western countries might be shocked, but our girls are not like their daughters that can sleep with any man they want and sometimes even get pregnant without marrying. Our girls should respect their religion, their family and their bodies.
'I have only two boys from now on. That girl was a mistake in my life. I know God is blessing me for what I did,' he said, his voice swelling with pride. 'My sons are by my side, and they were men enough to help me finish the life of someone who just brought shame to ours.'
Abdel-Qader, a Shia, says he was released from the police station 'because everyone knows that honour killings sometimes are impossible not to commit'. Chillingly, he said: 'The officers were by my side during all the time I was there, congratulating me on what I had done.' It's a statement that, if true, provides an insight into how vast the gulf remains between cultures in Iraq and between the Basra police the British army that trains them.
Sources have indicated that Abdel-Qader, who works in the health department, has been asked to leave because of the bad publicity, yet he will continue to draw a salary.
And it has been alleged by one senior unnamed official in the Basra governorate that he has received financial support by a local politician to enable him to 'disappear' to Jordan for a few weeks, 'until the story has been forgotten' - the usual practice in the 30-plus cases of 'honour' killings that have been registered since January alone.
Such treatment seems common in Basra, where militias have partial control, especially in the districts on the outskirts where Abdel-Qader lives.
While government security forces and British troops have control over the centre, around the fringes militants can still be seen everywhere on the streets or at the checkpoints they have erected. And they have imposed strict laws of behaviour for all the local people, including what clothing should be worn and what religious practices should be observed. There are reports of men having their hands cut off for looting and women being killed for prostitution.
Homosexuality is punishable by death, a sentence Abdel-Qader approves of with a passion. 'I have alerted my two sons. They will have the same end [as Rand] if they become contaminated with any gay relationship. These crimes deserve death - death in the name of God,' he said.
He said his daughter's 'bad genes were passed on from her mother'. Rand's mother, 41, remains in hiding after divorcing her husband in the immediate aftermath of the killing, living in fear of retribution from his family. She also still bears the scars of the severe beating he inflicted on her, breaking her arm in the process, when she told him she was going. 'They cannot accept me leaving him. When I first left I went to a cousin's home, but every day they were delivering notes to my door saying I was a prostitute and deserved the same death as Rand,' she said.
'She was killed by animals. Every night when go to bed I remember the face of Rand calling for help while her father and brothers ended her life,' she said, tears streaming down her face.
She was nervous, clearly terrified of being found, and her eyes constantly turned towards the window as she spoke. 'Rand told me about the soldier, but she swore it was just a friendship.
'She said she spoke with him because she was the only English speaker. I raised her in a religious manner and she never went out alone until she joined the university and then later when she was doing aid work.
'Even now, I cannot believe my ex-husband was able to kill our daughter. He wasn't a bad person. During our 24 years of marriage, he was never aggressive. But on that day, he was a different person.'
The mother is now trying to raise enough money to escape abroad. 'I miss my two boys,' she said. 'But they have sent a message saying that I am wrong for defending Rand and that I should go back home and live like a blessed Muslim woman,' said Leila, who is now volunteering with a local organisation campaigning for better protection for women in Basra.
One of those running the organisation, who did not want to be identified, said that Rand's case was similar to so many reported in Basra, with the only difference being she was in love with a foreigner, rather than an Iraqi.
'There isn't too much to say. Rand is dead. It is a tragedy and will be a tragedy for many other families in Iraq in the days to come.
'According to information we have been given, some from Rand's colleague, we have doubts that her love was reciprocated. We have the impression that Rand was in love, but the English soldier wasn't. But, for a girl to be paid nice compliments about her beauty and her intelligence, it was enough for her to think she was in love.
'She isn't here any more for her mother to ask any of the questions she would like to. Rand's case had repercussions because she fell in love with a foreigner. But what about the other girls murdered through "honour" killings because they fell in love with some of a different sect, or lost their virginity, or were forced to become prostitutes?'
Rand's mother used to call her 'Rose'. 'That was my nickname for her because when she was born she was so beautiful,' she said.
'Now, my lovely Rose is in her grave. But, God will make her father pay, either in this world ... or in the world after.'
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That man has no idea of what God is about in any way shape or form!
God say of Children:-
Psalm 127:3 Look! Sons* are an inheritance from Jehovah; The fruitage of the belly is a reward. *and daughters
Psalm 128:3 Your wife will be like a fruit-bearing vine In the innermost parts of your house. Your sons will be like slips of olive trees all around your table.
He has no idea of what Love means!
He is a murderer and will have to face God for his evil Satanic deed towards his own flesh and blood.
mel Member # 14765
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This may sound pretty cold, but Rand(Rose) must be in a better place by now and away from the evils that had contaminated the Islamic world since the very early days of man's existence itself
Because of incidences such as this, I question the evangelical practise of many Muslims I have come across. To be truthful, many a devout Muslim would love for the whole world to turn to Islam and there's nothing wrong with that. The problem is the amount of 'infected material' within that proposed world. Instead of being so interested in increasing the religious membership in as huge numbers as possible, Muslims all over the world should first preach amongst their people all over the world about the beauty of Islam itself...Islam that is not contaminated by ugly local cultures. An Afghan boy I once worked with gave me a funny look when I asked him whether it's Islam and Allah's rulings that come first to a serious Muslim, or whether it's one's local, cultural tradition that takes precedence. He of course said the right thing by saying that Allah's words come first, but I rather sensed quite a bit of hesitation there in his words, tone of voice, and the look in his eyes
Muslims, and also Christians, should endeavour to improve what they already have first, before letting others join the flock. A small group who live within the right frame of mind is better than a huge, world-sized diseased heart just waiting to expire. It's important to first clean the house and backyard before letting any visitors in
tina kamal Member # 13845
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i pray her father has a long and painful death!!!! may he be tourtured!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! dirty son of a whore!!
Tigerlily Member # 3567
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Nothing is gonna happen to him. Even the police is backing him on the crime.... how awful! These people have a different mentality then we do; for me this kind of action is not understandable and fully to condemn.
Tigerlily Member # 3567
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"Though her horrified mother, Leila Hussein, called Rand's two brothers, Hassan, 23, and Haydar, 21, to restrain Abdel-Qader as he choked her with his foot on her throat, they joined in."
'I have only two boys from now on. That girl was a mistake in my life. I know God is blessing me for what I did,' he said, his voice swelling with pride. 'My sons are by my side, and they were men enough to help me finish the life of someone who just brought shame to ours.'
Just realized that Rand's both older brothers took part in her killing.
So I have to rephrase - nothing is gonna happen to them.
Freaking unbelievable!!
maxman Member # 12150
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Iam lost for words,My allah rest her soul in peace.........
Mrs. Member # 14656
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quote:Originally posted by mel: This may sound pretty cold, but Rand(Rose) must be in a better place by now and away from the evils that had contaminated the Islamic world since the very early days of man's existence itself
Because of incidences such as this, I question the evangelical practise of many Muslims I have come across. To be truthful, many a devout Muslim would love for the whole world to turn to Islam and there's nothing wrong with that. The problem is the amount of 'infected material' within that proposed world. Instead of being so interested in increasing the religious membership in as huge numbers as possible, Muslims all over the world should first preach amongst their people all over the world about the beauty of Islam itself...Islam that is not contaminated by ugly local cultures. An Afghan boy I once worked with gave me a funny look when I asked him whether it's Islam and Allah's rulings that come first to a serious Muslim, or whether it's one's local, cultural tradition that takes precedence. He of course said the right thing by saying that Allah's words come first, but I rather sensed quite a bit of hesitation there in his words, tone of voice, and the look in his eyes
Muslims, and also Christians, should endeavour to improve what they already have first, before letting others join the flock. A small group who live within the right frame of mind is better than a huge, world-sized diseased heart just waiting to expire. It's important to first clean the house and backyard before letting any visitors in
I like your post Mel. And you are right, more Muslims should stand up and say this is wrong, I have not been a muslim very long and will be the first to say I dont know very much, but this is not Islam. God would not want someone to be treated in this way. Muslims follow the example of the Prophet pbuh, These people that do this need to show me and the rest of the world where he treated people like this.
But I disagree that Islam shouldn't grow until people get it right. People will never get it right, people of any faith can use it to their own ends, and evil people will use anything they can to justify their behaviour, regardless of what religion they are. Islam needs to grow for things like this to be stamped out one day inshaAllah, Cultural practices take over a religion when people have become more distant from it, if new muslims come to Islam everyday and are going back to basics, without the cultural influences, then this can only be a good thing.
What needs to happen, is people of any religion need to stop thinking they are superior to the other, and stop making others the enemy.
Pothead_Barbie Member # 15091
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what an animal!!!! he is simply denying a god given emotion and tunring it into something disgusting and ugly. he should be more ashmaed to be acting this way, then he shouldb ashmed of his child's innocent and perfectly normal feelings.
i dont understand honor killings and beating and such...i would rather have someone going around telling people my daughter fell in love, rather than, oh look at the sick monster, trying to kill HIS OWN CHILD! you are her father, the one person on this world who is supposed to love and protect her...and you become her worst enemy and nightmare come true?!
of_gold Member # 13418
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quote:Originally posted by Mrs.:
I like your post Mel. And you are right, more Muslims should stand up and say this is wrong, I have not been a muslim very long and will be the first to say I dont know very much, but this is not Islam. God would not want someone to be treated in this way. Muslims follow the example of the Prophet pbuh, These people that do this need to show me and the rest of the world where he treated people like this.
What needs to happen, is people of any religion need to stop thinking they are superior to the other, and stop making others the enemy. [/QB]
Thank you Mrs. I agree.
gab Member # 14577
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Muslims follow the example of the Prophet pbuh
YES MARRY 11 WOMAN
caringforwomen Member # 14617
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Now HE deserves to die for killing his daughter. What a idiot!
maxman Member # 12150
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quote:Originally posted by gab: Muslims follow the example of the Prophet pbuh
YES MARRY 11 WOMAN
Marry 11 women?my grandad once told me that one wife is like a hammeroid which is very painful,now you advice 11 wifes(read hammeroids!)that is too much pain!!
caringforwomen Member # 14617
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I thought Islam only allowed four wives. 11? That is new.
justvisiting Member # 14989
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quote:Originally posted by Mrs.: [QUOTE] What needs to happen, is people of any religion need to stop thinking they are superior to the other, and stop making others the enemy.
Right on.
of_gold Member # 13418
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quote:Originally posted by maxman:
quote:Originally posted by gab: Muslims follow the example of the Prophet pbuh
YES MARRY 11 WOMAN
Marry 11 women?my grandad once told me that one wife is like a hammeroid which is very painful,now you advice 11 wifes(read hammeroids!)that is too much pain!!
That doesn't speak very highly of your grandmother.
maxman Member # 12150
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Hi of.Gold....... You need to be egyptian to grasp this joke Cheers!
Pinay Member # 15239
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I have no words for now.My heart bleeds for Rand.
I just could not believe that distorted beliefs could kill....even one's own flesh and blood.
of_gold Member # 13418
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quote:Originally posted by maxman: Hi of.Gold....... You need to be egyptian to grasp this joke Cheers!
Oh sorry, I thought he was saying that having a wife is like having a pain in the A--.
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