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Author Topic: OT: A story I am working on
BrandonP
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The story is fantasy, but it will include ancient-style Egyptians, so I thought it would be of interest to the posters here. Below is an excerpt:

quote:
Beams of morning sunlight pierced the treetop canopy that hung over the jungle understory. The trunks and gnarling branches of the towering trees were dressed with liana vines, moss, and epiphytes. Hundreds of different species of tropical plants sprouted from the spongy jungle floor, silently competing for the sparse sunlight. The squawks of birds, the whining of cicadas, the chattering of primates, and the chirping of crickets together formed an ambient chorus.

A Tyrannosaurus Rex prowled through the jungle on two long, muscular legs with bird-like feet. From his long, deep head to the tip of the muscular tail that counter-balanced his body, he was forty feet long. From the soles of his feet to his hip, he was thirteen feet high. His arms were short and two-fingered, but thickly muscled. His jaws were lined with six-inch, spike-like teeth. With fiery yellow eyes he surveyed the jungle around him as he walked, at the same time sniffing the air for the scent of prey.

The T. Rex paused. He had captured a strange smell ahead of him. He identified it as a mammalian scent, simian to be specific. In fact, it almost smelled like a chimpanzee, but not exactly, for the odor was slightly stronger. Maybe it was a---

“Good morning, T. Rex,” he heard a voice say.

Surprised, the T. Rex jerked his head down to see a male human standing in front of him. The human was gaunt and dark brown-skinned, with a slightly wrinkled face and a shaven scalp. He wore a leopard’s skin around his torso and a white linen loincloth. For a reason the T. Rex could not fathom, the human did not look the slightest bit terrified. Instead, he wore a calm, almost kindly expression on his face.

“Who are you, human?” the T. Rex growled suspiciously, “And what are you doing in my territory?”

“I am Ipuy, an Egyptian,” the human answered, “I am a priest of the god Horus.”

“An Egyptian? I have never heard of that tribe.”

“That is because we are not native to this island. We came here from another island to the north, the island of Khentu. It is a beautiful island, sunny with rolling grasslands teaming with game. Alas, another tribe to our north, the Aztecs, coveted our island and invaded it. They sacked our cities and massacred thousands of our people. Those of us who survived were forced to leave the island and sail to our south. That is why we have come here. Unfortunately, little remains of our military, so what remains of us probably could not withstand another Aztec attack should they learn of our presence here.

“That is why I have come to you, T. Rex. We seek to ally with the dinosaurs of the jungle so they will help defend us against the Aztecs.”

The T. Rex sighed. “What has happened to your people is very unfortunate, but I am sorry to say that I have my own territory to defend from other predators and therefore cannot allot time to intervene in the politics of another species.”

“We could dispatch soldiers to defend your territory’s borders in exchange for your allegiance,” Ipuy offered.

“You will send soldiers to defend my territory if I fight for you? That sounds like a fair deal. Very well, tell whoever sent you that your people have my allegiance.”

“Excellent! Follow me to our settlement. I shall introduce you to our Pharaoh---that is, our chief. By the way, I did not catch your name. You have one?”

“You may call me Strongjaw.”

“Strongjaw? Very fitting name for a T. Rex. Now let us take off.”

Ipuy turned and headed northward, Strongjaw following him.

Unbeknownst to either of them, orange eyes had watched them from the shadows. The eyes belonged to an Allosaurus, a bipedal dinosaur distantly related to the T. Rex. She was smaller than a T. Rex, only twenty-five feet long and six feet tall at the hip. Her arms were also longer and bore three fingers with long talons. A pair of short red horns rose in front of her eyes.

The allosaur grinned, revealing teeth shaped like tiny serrated daggers. So the T. Rex is leaving, she thought, and the only things protecting his territory will be some puny apes. Our alpha will be pleased to hear this.

She turned around and ran southwestward through the jungle towards her pack’s den.

##

In the opinion of most of the Aztec people, Emperor Quauhtli was the greatest emperor the Aztecs ever had. No other Aztec Emperor before him had conquered an entire island all in one reign, let alone one populated by a civilization as ancient and grand as that of the Egyptians. The conquest was also a profitable one. Not only did the plundered riches of the Egyptians fill up the Aztec treasury, but the island itself, with its grassy savannas, supported great herds of large mammals that would provide more than enough meat to feed the entire Empire. Quauhtli therefore had good reason to feel very proud.

Quauhtli sat atop a stone throne inside his palace’s throne room, the walls of which were lavishly decorated with murals depicting gods and warriors. The Emperor himself was extravagantly dressed in golden jewelry and crowned with a headdress made of feathers. He beamed as if basking in his own glory.

A short, plump man wearing a red cape entered the room and prostrated before Quauhtli. It was the Emperor’s chief advisor, Xipil.

“Your Imperial Majesty,” said Xipil, “I bring news which may be of some concern. It appears that some Egyptians, including the Pharaoh himself, have managed to escape our onslaught and have established a settlement on Dinosaur Island, south of Khentu.”

“Why should I be concerned?” Quauhtli asked, “They are a defeated nation.”

“Your Majesty, if we leave the Egyptians alone, their numbers could swell, and then they could attempt to retake Khentu---and they would do so with a vengeance.”

Quauhtli hesitated. “You make a valid point. I will send forces down there as soon as possible. We will wipe out the Egyptians once and for all. Bring me my highest general.”

“As you command, my Emperor,” said Xipil, walking backwards out of the throne room.

##

The female allosaur had sprinted through the jungle for two hours before arriving at a wide, shallow cave going into a cliff face. Three other allosaurs rested on the cave floor, which was littered with dinosaur bones. One of these allosaurs was distinct from the rest by two scars running down the left side of his snout; this was the pack’s alpha male, Twoscar.

“Twoscar,” the female allosaur called to him, lowering his head to show her submission, “I have wonderful news.”

“What is it, Swiftfoot?” Threescar yawned.

“The T. Rex Strongjaw has left his territory to aid a human tribe. In exchange the humans have offered to send their warriors to protect his territory.”

“Humans? Protecting his territory against the likes of us?” Twoscar laughed. “Those silly apes think they stand a chance against us? We could tear them apart as easily as a raptor tears a monkey apart!”

“Do you propose we invade his territory?”

“Precisely! We shall claim his territory as our own! Who is with me?”

The other allosaurs roared in agreement.


Posts: 7069 | From: Fallbrook, CA | Registered: Mar 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
beyoku
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Sound good. I am working on something similar. I will send you a PM down the road about it.
Posts: 2463 | From: New Jersey USA | Registered: Dec 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Brada-Anansi
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I also have this idea swerling around my head of An atlantic confederation of kings..the old Atlantis story recast as meso-America,the Lion empire consisting of all of what would be kemet today the capital centered at Nowi... a little to the south the leopard empire who consider the lions a break away state but too powerful to be bullied into submission,to the far north the empire of Valhalla crude rude but shockingly powerfull...to the Med a bunch of semi indpendent states that ows alliegance to the Leopards,Lions and Valhallians Far to the east the Ruyukhan empire a super empire, rich beyond belief consisting of powerful governors called guls who frequently murder each other for gain encouraged by the Dymio-Khans the hidden god kings who they are intensly loyal to in a slavish matter. conflicts are a foot,back stabbing sexuall politics mass sacrifice the on comming ice-age and frequent rise in sever weather, population growth that is unsustainble and the greed of the super wealthly elites at the head of these empires. all set in 15,000yrs b.c... I proberly won't do anything with it though.
Posts: 6546 | From: japan | Registered: Feb 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
BrandonP
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Here's another excerpt:

quote:
“So, Strongjaw, are there any other humans on this island?” Ipuy asked as they walked through the jungle.

“There are scattered tribes of pygmy humans living off the land,” Strongjaw answered, “They look much like your own race, but they are much shorter. The tallest one of them would probably reach your chest.”

“Pygmies? Does your kind get along with them?”

“They mostly avoid large dinosaurs, and we leave them alone in turn. They are no threat to us. On the other hand—-“

Strongjaw stopped talking, then sniffed the air suspiciously. He had detected the scent of another animal nearby. This one was dinosaurian, almost but not quite bird-like, and it was growing stronger.

“Raptors,” Strongjaw growled at a low volume, “Heading towards us from the northwest. Quick, hide into those bushes over there, for raptors hate humans and will kill them on sight.”

Ipuy immediately dove into a patch of thick undergrowth east of Strongjaw. A few minutes later, a pack of five raptors emerged from the northwest.

“There’s a human nearby,” the pack’s alpha female growled as she smelled the air, “Have you seen one, T. Rex?”

“A human?” Strongjaw said to her, “Why, I just ate one a moment ago. You must have been smelling my breath.”

“Really? Let me smell your breath up close.”

“What? You honestly want to smell my stinky breath!”

“Do it now, lest my pack tear you apart.”

“Don’t you dare threaten me with violence!” Strongjaw roared with such force that the alpha raptor’s feathers waved as if blown by wind.

The alpha raptor sniffed the air between her and Strongjaw. “That doesn’t smell like human. That smells like your last meal was a Triceratops. You lied!”

“Well, maybe I misremembered—-“

“Where is the human? I think you’re hiding it.”

Inside the cover of the bushes, Ipuy’s skin oozed sweat and crawled over his skin. This raptor was quite smart. The chance that she could see through Strongjaw’s attempt to hide him and ultimately find his location was swelling. Ipuy quietly muttered fearful prayers to Horus to keep him hidden.

“I hide nothing,” Strongjaw snarled, “Now stop harassing me and be off!”

One of the alpha raptor’s subordinates turned his head to face the bushes Ipuy was hiding in and sniffed. “The human is over there!” he said, “In the brush!”

He ran towards the bushes and tore through them with his talons, exposing Ipuy. His yellow, snakelike eyes glared at the priest with homicidal rage.

“Stand back!” Ipuy screamed, “In the name of Horus, I command you to—-“

“No gods will save you now, human!” the raptor screeched, and he lunged towards Ipuy. Before his jagged teeth could reach him, however, the raptor felt something bite his tail and yank him off the ground. It was Strongjaw, who thrashed his massive head and hurled the raptor into a nearby tree, breaking his ribs.

Now the other raptors ran towards Strongjaw, screeching savage battle cries. One jumped onto Strongjaw’s left flank and tore into his skin with hooked talons, drawing deep scars. Strongjaw violently shook his body to throw the raptor off, but the raptor still clung on. Finally Strongjaw sidestepped towards the trunk of a large tree and pressed the raptor against it, crushing into a bloody, feathery pulp.

Strongjaw then captured another raptor in her jaws and crushed her with a single bite, then threw her carcass aside. Now only two raptors, the alpha raptor and a male, were left. Strongjaw lunged for the alpha raptor, but she sprinted out of the way and pounced on Ipuy, while the other remaining raptor leapt onto Strongjaw’s neck and savagely carved through his flesh.

The alpha raptor bit Ipuy’s neck and thrashed him wildly. The priest tried to cry out for Strongjaw’s help, but could only cough up blood. Strongjaw realized that the man would quickly die, but the pain being inflicted upon his own neck distracted him. Strongjaw tried turning his head in hope of grabbing his assailant’s tail with his teeth, but the raptor was able to jerk it out of the way.

Finally, Ipuy managed to scream weakly. Instantly, Strongjaw turned to face him, charged towards the alpha raptor, and bit her. Six-inch teeth sank through her flesh and broke through her rib cage. She let go of Ipuy’s neck to screech in agony and then died. Strongjaw tossed her corpse aside.

The raptor that had been attacking Strongjaw’s neck, after seeing his superior’s death, jumped off and hastily vanished into the shadows, as if realizing that victory for his pack was unattainable. “And don’t you dare mess with me again!” Strongjaw roared after him.

Strongjaw then faced Ipuy, who was rubbing his neck wounds. To his amazement, the wounds glowed a bright green and then shrank until they completely disappeared. Ipuy’s neck now looked completely unscathed.

Ipuy then gently touched Strongjaw on the snout. Strongjaw felt a sting on all of his injuries that grew stronger until it became excruciating. It was the worst pain he had ever felt, far more intense than any ever inflicted upon him by another dinosaur. Strongjaw let out an agonized cry half-roar, half-scream, one that could be heard for miles across the jungle. Birds from the jungle canopy flew off their perches and squawked in panic.

Then the agony faded into nothing. Strongjaw looked over his wounds and saw that they had disappeared. He was now in prime condition.

“How on earth did you do that?” Strongjaw asked.

“Healing magic,” Ipuy answered.

“What is that?”

”All magic is really energy channeled from the gods. If one meditates regularly, one can acquire a certain amount of magic from one’s god. Now different gods channel different kinds of magic. For instance, Horus, the god of we Egyptians, channels healing magic. On the other hand, the god of the Aztecs, Huitzilopochtli, channels death magic, which harms rather than heals.”

“Can anyone learn how to use magic?”

”No. Only certain individuals are born with the ability to channel magic through meditation. Such individuals make up the priesthood of any culture. Now, my supply of magic has been depleted by healing a large creature such as yourself. Let us find somewhere to rest for the night so I may meditate.”



--------------------
Brought to you by Brandon S. Pilcher

My art thread on ES

And my books thread

Posts: 7069 | From: Fallbrook, CA | Registered: Mar 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
BrandonP
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Here's the next scene, a very short one:

quote:
Night had descended upon the jungle. Ipuy sat cross-legged on a flat rock rising from a clearing, his eyes shut in meditation. A small fire flickered on a small pile of sticks he had gathered earlier. Strongjaw entered the clearing with carrying a tapir he had killed in his jaws. He plopped the tapir in front of Ipuy.

“I brought you some meat, just in case you were hungry,” Strongjaw said.

Ipuy woke up from his meditation. “I am sorry, but I cannot eat right now. To have food digesting in the stomach disrupts the meditation process. Besides, I would prefer my meat to be butchered and cooked ahead of time.”

“Very well then, I’ll eat it.” Strongjaw began devouring the tapir, tearing off huge hunks of flesh with his teeth and swallowing them. “So, human, how close are we to your village?” he asked when he had reduced the tapir to a pile of bloody, crunched-up bones.

“We should reach there tomorrow.”

“You haven’t traveled very far to find me, then. Say, you claim to have come from another island. Do you ever miss it?”

“Of course I do! All Egyptians miss Khentu. We had constructed a great kingdom there, with cities of towering buildings built from stone and mud bricks. Back in Khentu I lived in one such city, the city of Tobeku. It stood on the island’s southeastern coast. I miss life in that beautiful city. Most of all, I miss the wife I had there.”

”Your wife?”

“Her name was Hentaneb. She was perhaps the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. Full lips, entrancing eyes, skin like polished mahogany, braided hair, ample breasts and bosom…and a heart made of gold finer than anything in Pharaoh’s treasury. I think it was a blessing from Horus that our families arranged marriage between us. Alas, the Aztecs butchered her into pieces when they invaded.”

“My own mate was killed as well, a little less than a year ago,” Strongjaw responded, “In her case, it was a Triceratops. Nightmares of her death still haunt my sleep.”

“My dreams about my wife are more positive, for my healing magic keeps the nightmares away. The dreams I do have still make me cry though. If only my healing magic was strong enough to bring her back.”

Ipuy’s eyes drifted to the thousands of stars that twinkled in the black sky hanging over the clearing. “I notice the night sky is very beautiful. Ever gazed at the stars, Strongjaw?”

”To be honest, I only get the opportunity occasionally. Usually the jungle canopy blocks my view of the sky. When I do get to see the stars, though, I do like looking at them. In fact their twinkling reminds me of my mate’s eyes.” Strongjaw opened his great mouth wide and yawned. “Well, I’m about ready to sleep. Good night, Ipuy.” Strongjaw lowered his body until his belly touched the clearing floor and then closed his eyes.

“Good night, Strongjaw,” Ipuy said, then resumed meditating.



--------------------
Brought to you by Brandon S. Pilcher

My art thread on ES

And my books thread

Posts: 7069 | From: Fallbrook, CA | Registered: Mar 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
BrandonP
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Next scene:

quote:
After trekking through the jungle from morning to late afternoon the next day, Strongjaw and Ipuy came across a wall made of thick wooden poles standing twenty feet high. Two Egyptian soldiers equipped with copper spears and cowhide shields guarded a gateway going through the wall. When they saw Strongjaw, the soldiers pointed their spears towards him, posing for battle.

“Do not worry,” Ipuy said to the soldiers, “He has agreed to help us against the Aztecs. He means no harm against us. Now please let us through.”

The guards parted, letting Strongjaw and Ipuy walk through the gateway. “Welcome to New Djaset!” said one guard as they passed.

As might be expected of a village that was constructed very recently by refugees from another land, New Djaset was not overwhelmingly grand. The buildings were simply small huts with thatched roofs and walls made of dried mud, and the streets were uneven dirt paths. Still, Strongjaw felt a slight sense of amazement at the place, for he had never seen so many houses and humans gathered in one place.

As Ipuy led Strongjaw down the streets, Strongjaw noticed that people were giving him a wide berth and were staring at him, often gasping. They seemed to be both terrified and awestruck at the same time. Strongjaw couldn’t help but feel a little embarrassed that he was attracting so much attention from the locals.

“I see you’re already on your way to becoming quite famous,” Ipuy said.

“Am I the first big dinosaur to enter this village?” Strongjaw whispered.

“As a matter of fact, no. We have had a female Stegosaurus named Spikeswiper join us before. You’ll probably meet here right by the Pharaoh. Speaking of which, his hut is right ahead.”

The Pharaoh’s hut stood out by being twice as large as the other huts in the village. Two wooden statues in the form of bird-headed men guarded the hut’s entrance. Standing outside the hut was a mustached old man wearing golden jewelry and a tall white crown, an athletic-looking young woman in bronze chain mail, and a female stegosaur some thirty feet long and fourteen feet tall at her hip.

“Your Majesty, meet Strongjaw the T. Rex!” Ipuy announced to the old man and the young woman. Then he turned to Strongjaw. “Strongjaw, the old man with the white crown before you is our Pharaoh Pabasa. The lovely young woman beside him is his daughter, Princess Khama’at. She leads our armies into battle. The stegosaur is Spikeswiper, the one I told you about earlier.”

“It is an honor to meet you all,” Strongjaw said to the three individuals Ipuy had introduced him to.

“We are glad you have come,” Pabasa replied, “It is a blessing to have another dinosaur help us against the Aztecs.”

”Especially one who appears as strong as you,” Khama’at added.

Strongjaw noticed that Spikeswiper was waving her four-spiked tail threateningly. The pentagonal plates running down her back flashed bright red.

“You don’t look that happy to see me, Spikeswiper,” Strongjaw said.

“Why should I be happy to see a T. Rex?” she snorted, “Your kind preys on mine, in case you didn’t know.”

”Hey, I’m here for the same reason you are. I’m not going to eat you, trust me.”

”Trust you? Why should I trust a predator like you?”

“Why not? I haven’t shown myself to be untrustworthy. Your suspicion against me is unjustified.”

“Stop arguing, you two,” Khama’at butted in, “Spikeswiper, Strongjaw is here to help. You need to put aside your prejudice and work with him. Understand?”

”Only if he promises never to attack a stegosaur again,” Spikeswiper said.

“I promise I will do no more harm to your kind,” Strongjaw said, “I like the taste of Triceratops more anyway. Speaking of food, I have walked for many hours without eating, so I could use a meal.”

”I knew you would be hungry after your journey,” the Pharaoh said, “I can let you eat one of my cattle for dinner. Khama’at, please show Strongjaw to the village cattle pen.”

“Yes, father,” replied Khama’at, then she spoke to Strongjaw, “Follow me.”

Before he began following Khama’at, Strongjaw saw that Spikeswiper was still glaring warily at him, snorting. Strongjaw wondered whether he would ever gain her trust.



--------------------
Brought to you by Brandon S. Pilcher

My art thread on ES

And my books thread

Posts: 7069 | From: Fallbrook, CA | Registered: Mar 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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