Insha Allah I will meet her soon.

quote:

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Originally posted by naive:
You made me cry.
I hope you find her soon.

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quote:

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Originally posted by braveheart:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Serendipity:
[B]Ok here it comes..
BOY has it come....no i have prepared myself for that.I'm actually trying to expect the unexpected if thats poossible.But thanx for that bit of advice,i will certainly keep that in mind.
And did you know that a peson lives longer if the fightor argue often. im looking forward to the fights and the making up....the making up espescially.

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quote:

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Originally posted by braveheart:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Serendipity:
[B]
hehe...you better bring some chocolate or ice cream when you fight with her. Nothing solves the problems better then Ice Cream
sorry to hear about your tiredness.while the choclate and ice_-cream work fo the big arguements it's shoe shopping and trips to the mall. Better yet a foot-massage afterwards and all the sweet lovi-dovi's I can think of whispered in her ear.......just slapped myself.note for diary, will not dicuss such things in public chatooms in future

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hehe made me fall out of my chair from laughter

quote:

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Originally posted by mooneal:
Seren, I've got what u mean now... A u angry at me?
Braveheart, I believe in men again...so ur post was important also for others.
Take care.

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NO girl I am not angry with you AT ALL. how are you doing? I am sorry if I didnt help. I just wanted you to laugh a bit

quote:

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Originally posted by mooneal:
NOW I'm laughing. I'm OK! And u? Seren I keep my fingers crossed for ur trip.Well, no chat.......Take Care

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quote:

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Originally posted by karla:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by braveheart:
[B]Why can't I find "Miss" right.Is my perception of the ideal mate blinded by my upbringing amongst the infidels.

All we have an ideal of our soul mate but 99% among us we never meet that ideal.I hope that you be 1% and you find her soon.

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I disagree with you, I belive that ppl tend to misunderstand the whole thing about soulmate. What we might picture in our heads might not be what we actually are looking for and when we meet them, our hearts wont beat for them. I belive that our soulmate can be the opposite of what you have pictured or of what you may like. I belive that why its called soulmate, is because the soul feels connected to it and not the brain.

quote:

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Originally posted by braveheart:
Why can't I find "Miss" right.Is my perception of the ideal mate blinded by my upbringing amongst the infidels. when we were younger we would sit and listen to stories about cinderella, and princes from different distance lands travelling miles to get a kiss to wake up a sleeping beauty and so on. So fast forward a decade or two and now what I look for is a woman to treat and respect.A woman but really a girl at heart.Someone who can keep me intelectually stimulated into the early morning.Basicly someone who can make me laugh and be shoulder to cry on when times are tough.My idea of what a woman should be able to do is to keep her head on when everyone around her are losing thiers and blaming it on her, she should be able to trust herself when all people doubt her but at the same time she should be able to make allowance for the doubts of people. and yet she does not look to good nor talk talk to wise.Its about the confidence that only a person who knows themselves can radiate.The women I meet may be beautiful but after a few moments you can tell just how shallow they truly are and that they are victims of thier environment in the sense that thier thoughts and likes are fashioned by the main stream media and if push came to shove they couldn't tell the real them from the make believe person.
Is it possible to find a woman who can dream and at the same time not make dreams her master,a girl capable to thinking and not making thoughts her aim,
A woman who can meet with triumph and disaster and treat both these falsehoods in the same manner.Am i searching to deep and swimming to far in my hope that i will find her,that she is only an ideaology that exists in my testosterone driven body. Sure many will say yes there are women like that and you'll find her one day.....heard it all before and yet I feel my patience is infinite in waiting for her and I pray that that I do not get tired of waiting for as a man my very nature is impatient and only a fool fights against his nature,and he is bound to lose but a wise person will try to understand the nature of human beings and when that happens everything makes sense.
Am i mad with far fetched ideals and expectations,am i living in a make believe world where the only reality is the virtual reality in my mind,or are these merely the lamentations of countless men that have passed before me as the waited for Allah to fufill thier destiny for truly I am certain that her name and mine have been etched in the book that was written before time.That I am certain of, my only uncertainty is the time and place that I will meet her.But while I wait, the wiser I get and the more I understand and appreciate her even though I have never meet her.she has smiled and my heart has smiled back and I love her even though I dont know her,never met her,I dont even know her name or where she will come from only that she exists.Insha Allah.
The most important lesson i've learnt in my search and wait for her is:
"Now this is the law of the jungle of life------as old and as true as the sky.
And the man that shall keep it may prosper, and the man that shall break it must die,
As the sun goes up and down in this world so shall this law run forward and back-----
For the strength of man and the family is the woman,and the strength of the woman is the family and man"
Insha Allah I will meet her soon.

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Good Grief - you don't want much do you? And who are these infidels? Are we not all people? Human beings? Re the woman issue, yes, take a reality check. The woman you are describing doesn't exist. Why because it is YOUR FANTASY. No wonder you are always disappointed. You want a woman who will follow your every whim, will change like a leaf in the wind everytime your need changes. You want her to be weak when you feel like being strong and strong when you feel weak. So, you only give them a few minutes before you dismiss them. No wonder. It must be hard when you dreams are shattered so easily. And what if you do find this ideal female. Have you heard? people change. They change all the time and in a relationship you have to accept those changes, sometimes even change with them. But this is the age old story. It is always the woman who has to bend and compromise. You are very romantic, it is very nice, but please don't take these ideas into a real relationship or you will continue to find your are sad and frustrated. I think you should look at why you are building up these fantasies? Why aren't you being realistic? What is it about you that is making you look at relationships this way? Because a) it is not healthy and b) you will be waiting for a long time!
BTW I am amazed at this thread. These woman normally speak with so much sense elsewhere and here they are egging you on!

quote:

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Originally posted by Paint Me As I Am:
May Allah bless you with a Virtious Woman to complete u in this life... Let her be your best friend as well as helpmate through out your life..

Salam...Jannah

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quote:

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Originally posted by Transedit Pros:
Braveheart, we would like to contact you. Could you possibly post your email address?

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quote:

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Originally posted by Transedit Pros:
Braveheart, we would like to contact you. Could you possibly post your email address?

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the above one for email and messenger stuff

quote:

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Originally posted by bitterwithbaggage:

Good Grief .......yes, take a reality check. The woman you are describing doesn't exist. Why because it is YOUR FANTASY. No wonder you are always disappointed................. No wonder. It must be hard when you dreams are shattered so easily. And what if you do find this ideal female. Have you heard? people change. They change all the time and in a relationship you have to accept those changes, sometimes even change with them. But this is the age old story. It is always the woman who has to bend and compromise. You are very romantic, it is very nice, but please don't take these ideas into a real relationship or you will continue to find your are sad and frustrated. I think you should look at why you are building up these fantasies? Why aren't you being realistic? What is it about you that is making you look at relationships this way? Because a) it is not healthy and b) you will be waiting for a long time!
BTW I am amazed at this thread. These woman normally speak with so much sense elsewhere and here they are egging you on!

Sheesh.

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LOL. No wonder why you called youself "bitterwithbaggage".
Although you made some good and truthful points.

Mr Braveheart,
If God Wills she will come InshaAllah, if not then may God rewward you with something better!....but do not worry much, such women do exist....

[talking from experience here ]

quote:

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Originally posted by sorsor:
hi , brave heart , ur searching for a realy so qualified women , but may i ask you what makes this women like u ?whats special and diffrent about u ?

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[/QUOTE]

quote:

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Originally posted by braveheart:
Why can't I find "Miss" right?

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Cos sshit happens

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!

quote:

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Originally posted by Serendipity:
I disagree with you, I belive that ppl tend to misunderstand the whole thing about soulmate. What we might picture in our heads might not be what we actually are looking for and when we meet them, our hearts wont beat for them. I belive that our soulmate can be the opposite of what you have pictured or of what you may like. I belive that why its called soulmate, is because the soul feels connected to it and not the brain.

[This message has been edited by Serendipity (edited 03 September 2005).]

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quote:

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Originally posted by karla:
Also I am not agree with you. I believe that the soul feels connected to it and the brain too...and it is had to complete each other. At least this means the soul mate for me...is not imperative that you share this opinion
Best regards!

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So we agree after all

[This message has been edited by braveheart (edited 04 September 2005).]

quote:

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Originally posted by Lonely:
je ne sais pas comment il'y a des femmes qui sont devenues agees parcequ'elles attendent le Mr. romantique auttant que ca se voit qu'il existent ce homme la

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I’d like to add that I hear a lot of people saying they are waiting for the man or women who will ‘complete’ them.. but how much can we really offer if we are no longer whole, if we are half empty waiting needingly for someone to come along and fill us up so we can feel loved, so we can feel happy and fulfilled. Nobody is responsible for our happiness but ourselves and if we can’t give ourselves love and happiness we will never truly be able to give that to someone else. When Allah brings me and my husband together we will compliment each other, support each other through the good times and the bad, stand by each other despite our faults and weaknesses, we will be each others light when around us all we can see is darkness - But I am and will always be a whole person with or without him. We have a life, friends, family, dreams and aspirations and most of all we have ourselves.. for all we know Allah may never bring us together with our partner and if that’s the case – so be it - there must have been a good reason. I feel it is wrong and unfair to rely on someone else to complete you and make you happy.. then you fall into the trap of being in love with ‘love’ itself and hold on to someone – anyone- because you are too afraid of letting go and facing that empty half you searched for so long to fill… all the while the one who truly complements you -who truly loves you- might pass you by and you never even saw them.

Braveheart - there is nothing wrong with knowing what you want in a wife, i too know what i want in a husband.. but once we meet the one we all have to be careful not to put them high up on a pedestal and expect them to be perfect.. it will only be a long way for them to fall down from that pedestal and into reality- nobody is perfect! and there is nothing at all wrong with that! Goodluck to you and everyone else, i hope everyone will find their partner soon inshallah.

quote:

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Originally posted by bitterwithbaggage:
Wow, I can't believe this. I was going to answer Braveheart's reply but work and social life got in the way and I have only just found time to sit down and put down the thoughts I have been having on this topic. However two people have already said much of what I wanted to say. Leila and Ellie I agree with you entirely.
What I would add is that yes the idea of love is very attractive but in practise it has many phases and versions. There is a book by a philosopher - I am sorry I forget his name but he wrote a great book called the Art Of Loving. He talks about a range of loving from narcissistic to needy but the greatest form of all is that which allows the other person to be free. That means being free to be themselves whatever that might be. In reality this is very difficult. Because we all have values and standards. We expect our partners not to lie, not to cheat, not to abuse us verbally or physically. So when these things happen then of course common sense and self protection steps in. But if we have an exact preconcieved idea about how our partner should be then love does not flourish. I think love is a creative act and it means we have to be creative all the time, it is a constant learning process and spending time looking for the perfect fit to your ideals means you could not only be very disappointed, as the person is unlikely to exist 100% (in fact I should say you would be lucky if you 50%!) it could mean you miss out on developing a developing a real relationship rather than just the one in your head.
Another point I wanted to make was about time. You need to spend time with someone to find out if they are right for you. Yes I have experienced the chemistry of a powerful attraction and it was amazing but I have also had to let that person go because after the first few months I realized it wasn't going to work. He is very different to me and though we have a strong connection on one level longterm we would probably make each other very unhappy. I don't mind. I know that I have had a good experience and who knows maybe it wasn't meant to happen now? But when you are young and there are so many opportunities around to meet people it seems to me a waste moaning about how no-one fits the bill. There are so many great women out there. They are all beautiful, inside and out ,in their way. The best way to attract the right person is to be happy and content in yourself. I truly believe if you are contented in your home, your family and your self you will attract the right person, naturally.
Thank to everyone for their respones to my post, both complimentary and otherwise. It has been very enjoyable reading them.

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i agree with you and like your posts, But you know you are very idealistic,which i like it especially in human relationship

i mean seeking a perfecticisim in any relation makes us trying to be good.

quote:

---

Originally posted by Chocolat:
Hi Braveheart,

i agree with you and like your posts, But you know you are very idealistic,which i like it especially in human relationship

i mean seeking a perfecticisim in any relation makes us trying to be good.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Paint Me As I Am:
...........................................

How are things coming along for u now?
I was watching a Indian movie and as u know most of their movies they sing on them- and in this case she was singing to this man that a "man has no life without a wife"..even though it was just a song- it had many good points in the song that we seek in the reality life verses how we get caught up with the fantasy life.

Inshallah, when the time be right- u will know her...Allah be with u as u wait patiently..

Salam....Jannah

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by braveheart:
Why can't I find "Miss" right.Is my perception of the ideal mate blinded by my upbringing amongst the infidels. when we were younger we would sit and listen to stories about cinderella, and princes from different distance lands travelling miles to get a kiss to wake up a sleeping beauty and so on. So fast forward a decade or two and now what I look for is a woman to treat and respect.A woman but really a girl at heart.Someone who can keep me intelectually stimulated into the early morning.Basicly someone who can make me laugh and be shoulder to cry on when times are tough.My idea of what a woman should be able to do is to keep her head on when everyone around her are losing thiers and blaming it on her, she should be able to trust herself when all people doubt her but at the same time she should be able to make allowance for the doubts of people. and yet she does not look to good nor talk talk to wise.Its about the confidence that only a person who knows themselves can radiate.The women I meet may be beautiful but after a few moments you can tell just how shallow they truly are and that they are victims of thier environment in the sense that thier thoughts and likes are fashioned by the main stream media and if push came to shove they couldn't tell the real them from the make believe person.
Is it possible to find a woman who can dream and at the same time not make dreams her master,a girl capable to thinking and not making thoughts her aim,
A woman who can meet with triumph and disaster and treat both these falsehoods in the same manner.Am i searching to deep and swimming to far in my hope that i will find her,that she is only an ideaology that exists in my testosterone driven body. Sure many will say yes there are women like that and you'll find her one day.....heard it all before and yet I feel my patience is infinite in waiting for her and I pray that that I do not get tired of waiting for as a man my very nature is impatient and only a fool fights against his nature,and he is bound to lose but a wise person will try to understand the nature of human beings and when that happens everything makes sense.
Am i mad with far fetched ideals and expectations,am i living in a make believe world where the only reality is the virtual reality in my mind,or are these merely the lamentations of countless men that have passed before me as the waited for Allah to fufill thier destiny for truly I am certain that her name and mine have been etched in the book that was written before time.That I am certain of, my only uncertainty is the time and place that I will meet her.But while I wait, the wiser I get and the more I understand and appreciate her even though I have never meet her.she has smiled and my heart has smiled back and I love her even though I dont know her,never met her,I dont even know her name or where she will come from only that she exists.Insha Allah.
The most important lesson i've learnt in my search and wait for her is:
"Now this is the law of the jungle of life------as old and as true as the sky.
And the man that shall keep it may prosper, and the man that shall break it must die,
As the sun goes up and down in this world so shall this law run forward and back-----
For the strength of man and the family is the woman,and the strength of the woman is the family and man"
Insha Allah I will meet her soon.

---