* You believe deep down in the First Amendment, guaranteed by the government and perhaps by God. * You're familiar with David Letterman, Mary Tyler Moore, Saturday Night Live, Bewitched, the Flintstones, Sesame Street, Mr. Rogers, Bob Newhart, Bill Cosby, Bugs Bunny, Road Runner, Donald Duck, the Fonz, Archie Bunker, Star Trek, the Honeymooners, the Addams Family, the Three Stooges, and Beetle Bailey. * You know how baseball, basketball, and American football are played. If you're male, you can argue intricate points about their rules. On the other hand (and unless you're under about 20), you don't care that much for soccer. * You count yourself fortunate if you get three weeks of vacation a year.
Posts: 1706 | From: Dallas, Texas, USA | Registered: Nov 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
If you are American and you died tonight...
* You're fairly likely to believe in God; if not, you've certainly been approached by people asking whether you know that you're going to Heaven. * You think of McDonald's, Burger King, KFC etc. as cheap food. * You probably own a telephone and a TV. Your place is heated in the winter and has its own bathroom. You do your laundry in a machine. You don't kill your own food. You don't have a dirt floor. You eat at a table, sitting on chairs. * You don't consider insects, dogs, cats, monkeys, or guinea pigs to be food. * A bathroom may not have a bathtub in it, but it certainly has a toilet. * It seems natural to you that the telephone system, railroads, auto manufacturers, airlines, and power companies are privately run; indeed, you can hardly picture things working differently. * You expect, as a matter of course, that the phones will work. Getting a new phone is routine. * The train system, by contrast, isn't very good. Trains don't go any faster than cars; you're better off taking a plane. * You find a two-party system natural. You expect the politicians of both parties to be responsive to business, strong on defense, and concerned with the middle class. You find parliamentary systems (such as Italy's) inefficient and comic. * You don't expect to hear socialism seriously defended. Communism, fuhgeddaboudit. * Between "black" and "white" there are no other races. Someone with one black and one white parent looks black to you. * You think most problems could be solved if only people would put aside their prejudices and work together. * You take a strong court system for granted, even if you don't use it. You know that if you went into business and had problems with a customer, partner, or supplier, you could take them to court. * You'd respect someone who speaks French, German, or Japanese-- but you very likely don't yourself speak them well enough to communicate with a monolingual foreigner. You're a bit more ambivalent about Spanish; you think the schools should teach kids English. * It's not all that necessary to learn foreign languages anyway. You can travel the continent using nothing but English-- and get by pretty well in the rest of the world, too. * You think a tax level of 30% is scandalously high. * School is free through high school (at least, it's an option, even if you went to private school); college isn't, unless you get a scholarship. * College is (normally, and excluding graduate study) four years long.
Posts: 1706 | From: Dallas, Texas, USA | Registered: Nov 2004
| IP: Logged |
Pretty much similar to being a Brit I think! I am certainly familiar with Bewitched, the Flintstones, Sesame Street, Bugs Bunny, Road Runner, Donald Duck, Star Trek and the Adams Family, and who doesnt love the Fonz! Havent got a clue about the First Amendment or basketball, baseball or American football....... how can you call it football? Soccer (or football) as it should be known is the only game after cricket!! Not that I would have a clue about those either! lol
posted
So true. Especially the part about the train system. sigh. You forgot to mention if you have more TVs and telephones than there are people in your house to use them. Darn that Wal-Mart.
Shareen, the first Amendment guarantees freedom of religion, freedom of speech, freedom of the press and the right of people to assemble peaceably.
[This message has been edited by PRchick (edited 11 January 2005).]
****At work you trade tips with coworkers on how to avoid the dooffus who listens the right wing conspiracy radio and then repeats the morning broadcast word for word.*****
****You spend an average of 22 minutes in commute to work, here in my city its more like 46 minutes.****
****You spend the last 4 years in high school weighing every class and extracircular activity to see what combination will promote you for which type of college, don't want to alienate admission staff before you graduate.****
****You spend more time worry about not starting a argument by screening your future comments of any political reference (think before you speak) when dealing with a couple who has children and are of opposite political beliefs. This is a much more sensitve topic than race between couples. You don't worry about a biracial child as much as a biparty family because over 30% of children under 21 are biracial anyway in USA.****
****When you are out with your school age children shopping for the first day of school, you put 20% more pens, paper, pencils in the cart because your childs school has an 80% chance that some child in her/his class can't afford these items****
****One spouse will spend an extra 3 to 6 years in college after graduation trying to change careers to keep in the middle class and adjust to outsourcing or changes in industry. Standing in line at Target you will over hear some child talk about "when we get home will do homework with daddy/mommy do her/his home after dinner? After I am done, I must stay quiet and let daddy/mommy concentrate right?****
****You try to justify a weekend B&B getaway over a family weekend getaway at your sisters over putting another $700 towards your IRA, what do you choose.****
****If someone in your family comes down with a terminal illness you lose your home, retirement savings, and then end up paying off medical bills long after they are dead, even with community fundraisers.****
****You stand up in a Hocky Game to sing the National Anthem, you realize that the crowd is becoming more diverse. Not just red necks, and you realize that the National Anthem isn't just for red necks its for everyone no matter what race, political affliation, income, ethnicity, locale, education level.****
****Watch CSI or Law and Order knowing that if this is the epiphany of American television, what the heck is wrong with us? Why are we so into violence?****
****You diet or quit smoking more to save money on life insurance or medical insurance than to actually quit smoking or lose weight.****
[This message has been edited by sonomod (edited 11 January 2005).]
Posts: 5744 | From: Minneapolis, Mn USA | Registered: Mar 2004
| IP: Logged |
# If you have an appointment, you'll mutter an excuse if you're five minutes late, and apologize profusely if it's ten minutes. An hour late is almost inexcusable.
# If you're talking to someone, you get uncomfortable if they approach closer than about two feet.
# About the only things you expect to bargain for are houses, cars, and antiques. Haggling is largely a matter of finding the hidden point that's the buyer's minimum.
# Once you're past college, you very rarely simply show up at someone's place. People have to invite each other over-- especially if a meal is involved.
# When you negotiate, you are polite, of course, but it's only good business to 'play hardball'. Some foreigners pay excessive attention to status, or don't say what they mean, and that's exasperating.
# If you have a business appointment or interview with someone, you expect to have that person to yourself, and the business shouldn't take more than an hour or so.
Posts: 1706 | From: Dallas, Texas, USA | Registered: Nov 2004
| IP: Logged |
Americans don't drink or smoke. Funny, eh? But you see they don't, actually, on television. Which is where we got most of our information from. No-one actually gets DRUNK in Cheers, Friends are remarkably clean living compared to some of the KGB pill-popping inebriates I've met over here. The difference seems to be less fighting, public urination and vomiting over here, but maybe I'm just hanging out with a refined crowd.
Americans are all 50 years old, wear matching windcheaters and talk in VERY LOUD VOICES. You can't blame us for this one. All the ones being carted round Europe in buses the size of Baltimore certainly are.
Americans all carry guns. Not true. Some of them carry knives instead.
New York is full of great bars and restaurants. Has anyone *been* to Midtown lately?! I have now learned that nowhere is acceptable except the LES and, on every alternative Tuesday per quarter, maybe Tribeca. Williamsburg is at least 23 minutes ago and the Upper East Side is frankly, unthinkable.
Americans are obsessed with hygiene, cosmetic surgery and personal grooming. Don't get me started on private grooming, manicures, pedicures, threading, tooth bleaching, anal hair bleaching, intimate wipes..... I could go on forever.
I could, but I don't have to. Because the proof, my friends, is most certainly in the (not safe for work) pudding.
Posts: 1706 | From: Dallas, Texas, USA | Registered: Nov 2004
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by nooralhaq: Misconceptions about Americans:
Americans don't drink or smoke. Funny, eh? But you see they don't, actually, on television. Which is where we got most of our information from. No-one actually gets DRUNK in Cheers, Friends are remarkably clean living compared to some of the KGB pill-popping inebriates I've met over here. The difference seems to be less fighting, public urination and vomiting over here, but maybe I'm just hanging out with a refined crowd.
Actually my father and many others have been to Europe. He said go only once in your life and then spend a few days in an oxygene tank reviving yourself. Everyone has to smoke everywhere and there is no escaping it.
It shocks us Americans that European drink at lunch. Now some people who think they are swank will order liquor at lunch but risk looking foolish in front of higher ups.
quote:Americans are all 50 years old, wear matching windcheaters and talk in VERY LOUD VOICES. You can't blame us for this one. All the ones being carted round Europe in buses the size of Baltimore certainly are.
Give us a break, when your young 20-40, your too busy raising a family, doing college, paying off those student loans, a ballon mortage, car payments, driving your little ones to their second career activities; ie dance class, karate, sports, music instrument lessons, and so forth. Our lives are very busy, the first chance we get is when we turn 50 and our kids have left us for an out of state college. By the time we are 50 we are so wound up and stress out that taking our first vacation out of a minivan is like releasing a small army of civets from a perfume producing factory. Now if you want to discuss loud and raunchy those football games in main land Europe where British people are band well those events will have the locals nailing windows shut.
quote:Americans all carry guns. Not true. Some of them carry knives instead.
Now that really hurt. Conservatives had to wait untill Sen. Paul Wellstone was murdered in order to pass the 'carry and conceal' law. Now they are revoking it in my state, based on the fact that it was passed unconstitutionally. I hate guns, never touched one and might try deer hunting one day but thats the only time I would. Vast majority of Americans don't pack heat and never would. At least we don't shoot of riffles and machine guns at weddings like some people, hint hint.
quote:New York is full of great bars and restaurants. Has anyone *been* to Midtown lately?! I have now learned that nowhere is acceptable except the LES and, on every alternative Tuesday per quarter, maybe Tribeca. Williamsburg is at least 23 minutes ago and the Upper East Side is frankly, unthinkable.
Not all of America is in NYC, don't get me wrong its a great city. But there is a total of 50 states and hundreds of thousands of cities. Personally my city has great eateries and we just passed a resolution to ban smoking city wide and are working on a state wide ban now.
quote:Americans are obsessed with hygiene, cosmetic surgery and personal grooming. Don't get me started on private grooming, manicures, pedicures, threading, tooth bleaching, anal hair bleaching, intimate wipes..... I could go on forever.
So what, most of us work hard for living and want to look our best.
What the heck? Anal Hair Bleaching? Americans don't do nude beaches. Even in Jamica's Hedonism the naked people are from Europe.
Cripes I have never heard of Anal Hair Bleaching. You must be European, no self respecting America would even worry about what shade of brown our ass hairs are. Who cares? Besides Muslims are required to have all pubes off for hygeine reasons. American men are proud of their hairy ass and nads, part of being a man. American women see a bald beaver as for porn stars and prostitutes. If they only cracked open a Quran once in a while they would be shocked.
quote:I could, but I don't have to. Because the proof, my friends, is most certainly in the (not safe for work) pudding.
Macoral you must live in a fishbowl.
Posts: 5744 | From: Minneapolis, Mn USA | Registered: Mar 2004
| IP: Logged |
jees, calm down, it was meant as fun. Have you not the ability to laugh at yourself? I am American, living in America, I did not post this to upset anyone, it was supposed to be a room to lighten up and have some fun, but omg, I must have been in another world when I thought that.
Take care.
Posts: 1706 | From: Dallas, Texas, USA | Registered: Nov 2004
| IP: Logged |
jees, calm down, it was meant as fun. Have you not the ability to laugh at yourself? I am American, living in America, I did not post this to upset anyone, it was supposed to be a room to lighten up and have some fun, but omg, I must have been in another world when I thought that.
Take care.
Its degoratory. I might be a self-depracating honky. But I don't resent being American.
Posts: 5744 | From: Minneapolis, Mn USA | Registered: Mar 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
Hey Noor..i like that ,,i thing you will find other post "as You know you're english if... You know you're Egyptian if... you opened a fire girl there is 100000000000000000000000000.... country on earth!!! GOD with you .M.
Posts: 336 | Registered: Dec 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
I won't make jokes about religion but nationalities and countries, who cares? I have no ties to them and those things are just symbols, I leave those ties to the SYMBOL-MINDED.
Take care.
Posts: 1706 | From: Dallas, Texas, USA | Registered: Nov 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
[QUOTE]Originally posted by nooralhaq: [B]Sonomod,
jees, calm down, it was meant as fun. Have you not the ability to laugh at yourself?
nooralhaq, sonomod is completely devoid of a sense of humour.....just thought I'd tell you that to save yourself a lot of time trying to connect with her.
posted
Well, I just thought maybe she misunderstood me. Sometimes we tend to take offense when we think someone doesn't understand us, but it is a little easier to take from someone who is LIKE you (although I would not think of myself as a honkey).
I understand her more than she thinks, I used to defend my nationality, as well, and quite fiercly until one day my husband (who is not American) said, 'why do you think everything against America and most Americans affects you? Why are you so defensive about this?'. I thought about it and omg he was right! Because as kids we're programmed to think America is the greatest, Americans can do no wrong, we're the best, the most compassionate, the most civilized, the most advanced, the best best best in everything.
Once I let go of that I was able to see the truth and sometimes the truth can be funny. I have laughed at myself many a time!
Take care.
Posts: 1706 | From: Dallas, Texas, USA | Registered: Nov 2004
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by Mai: Hey Noor..i like that ,,i thing you will find other post "as You know you're english if... You know you're Egyptian if... you opened a fire girl there is 100000000000000000000000000.... country on earth!!! GOD with you .M.
No please don't, the "You know you are Egyptian" thread has been posted twice before. Search for it.
quote:Originally posted by nooralhaq: Well, I just thought maybe she misunderstood me. Sometimes we tend to take offense when we think someone doesn't understand us, but it is a little easier to take from someone who is LIKE you (although I would not think of myself as a honkey).
I understand her more than she thinks, I used to defend my nationality, as well, and quite fiercly until one day my husband (who is not American) said, 'why do you think everything against America and most Americans affects you? Why are you so defensive about this?'. I thought about it and omg he was right! Because as kids we're programmed to think America is the greatest, Americans can do no wrong, we're the best, the most compassionate, the most civilized, the most advanced, the best best best in everything.
Once I let go of that I was able to see the truth and sometimes the truth can be funny. I have laughed at myself many a time!
Take care.
You know when you say "I understand her" I LOOOOOOOOOL, understand who? Sonomod? Good luck! Just ignore her would be the best strategy.
As far as America is concerned it is like any other country, and Americans are like any other people. They have their good points and their bad points.
UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!
Printer-friendly view of this topic