posted
I was wondering if an Egyptian women would accept this incredible situations, often seen in this forum:
1-His husband divorce her, marry a foreign women and after a couple of years he is returning home because he has “failed”
2-His husband marry a second foreigner wife and him spending six months in egypt and six months in the other country, or something similar…
Do you think it would be? I Imagine Egyptian Women being much more strict in that sense of not letting a man “playing” whith them…Am I wrong? Justr curious, because we often speak about the "Second foreign wife" situation and feelings, but I always think about the first, one, normally Egyptian...Are they also living cheated?
posted
Sofia, Let me ask you the same question. How would you feel if your husband left you for another woman doesnot matter Egyptian or not? How would you feel if you left him for another man? Egyptian or otherwise?
Would you accept him back?
Hell, surely not. Get the house and the money and run away with a new man girl.
posted
I would do what you say but and obviously most of the egyptian women would do, but i think circunstances in Egypt are very very different from economically to cultural to religious.
Just wanted to know if these differences are part of the problem of incredible situations in terms of love and marriage as we see in this forum.
Obviously in my questions is implied that I am not thinking everywomen in Egypt is the same, Of course!!!!
I was overall positive, and I am sorry, but in this forum i have read stories about terrible men married with two women and i was just asking if it is possible for an Egyptian women (normally the firsts wifes) to believe in the terrible lies these kind of men could be telling them...I was saying that it seems to me that egyptian women are much more smarter in the sense that they would not allow certain behaviours...
I read in this forum not very long ago that a second eastern wife had left his husband and she said he had run to his firts wife, and she accepted...i just was asking if this is just a case or if it is acceptes more widely!!!!
My english is not very good but I have read lots of posts in this forums and I think I am not saying bullshit, I just want to know if this first wifes accept to have his man back or letting this man half the year off.
It must be so, if not, żhow all these con men arrange to do their awful purposes?
[This message has been edited by Sofia25 (edited 07 March 2005).]
posted
I don't think It's prejudicial, I was saying in in a positive way, I perceive Egyptian women much more "smarter" not to be foolish by no man with words, but i guess it happens anyway. I know a pair of these cases (by the part of the second life)
And, yes, I think economical and cultural situation in Egypt can be an important cause of misundertandings and misinterpretations of what a respectful relation between a man and a woman should be, obviously in certain cases, of course.
You can go on all you want, but this is a thread that has been done at least 30 times on this board. Egy women have tried to set it straight, but are way too polite to fully address the issue. Besides its like teaching a donkey ballet, a foreigner doesn't understand but is able to deduce exactly what the locals want them too.
It all sounds the same.
Posts: 5744 | From: Minneapolis, Mn USA | Registered: Mar 2004
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posted
I was not asking for the eastern-second-wife point of view...żwhy are you answering this?
I perfectly know what SOME eastern or american women do and take advantage of (don't you be prejudicial with all these women, some of them REALLY love the man and TRUST him. Don't blame the believer, blame the liar....
And I think it is terrible!
But behind this kind of drama there is a firt wife, normally egyptian, I just wanted to know what about her...she must be cheated too, or maybe she accepts the situation because she can't do anything better...
quote:Originally posted by salama: Sofia, Let me ask you the same question. How would you feel if your husband left you for another woman doesnot matter Egyptian or not? How would you feel if you left him for another man? Egyptian or otherwise?
Would you accept him back?
Hell, surely not. Get the house and the money and run away with a new man girl.
posted
You can not generalise about an entire nation like this.
A Western educated Cairen is going to have a completely differnet attitude to a women living in the villages who has rudimentary education.
For some it is the worst thing on earth for others it is a chance to have a provider again.
the rural woman has her life cound up in marriage and children and her husband might well leave her for a year or two and it would be seen as a chance to better the family and she would move back with her natal family but they wouldn't divorce.
The city girl would probably do a 'bobbit' on him.
And there is everything in between. Please don't generalise, it is like asking if American women like cats
quote:Originally posted by akshar: A Western educated Cairen is going to have a completely differnet attitude to a women living in the villages who has rudimentary education.
quote:Originally posted by Sofia25: In my first post i said it was implied that i was not generalising!!! ;-)
And I think that saying that a city girl and a village girl is different is also generalising, isn't it?
One of the cases I know is from a quite educated cairo woman.
And I said there is everything in between. I think that covers your example. The important thing is that what ever opinions are expressed here they are those of an individual not Egyptian society, or even a part of that society
posted
Me too, but i am not egyptian, and we are in an egyptian forum, żright? ;-)
I just was curious of certain situations (of course not general, but NOT JUST punctual, they happen more than in other countries) and I just wanted to know opinions of this women or opinions of others about this women's cases.
Being honest is being strict to certain realities even if we don't like them.
quote:Originally posted by Sofia25: I don't think It's prejudicial, I was saying in in a positive way, I perceive Egyptian women much more "smarter" not to be foolish by no man with words, but i guess it happens anyway. I know a pair of these cases (by the part of the second life)
And, yes, I think economical and cultural situation in Egypt can be an important cause of misundertandings and misinterpretations of what a respectful relation between a man and a woman should be, obviously in certain cases, of course.
We all know about double standards.
Sofia, you are very new in this forum, and you haven’t been introduce yet, Sonomod, this is Sofia, (asking innocent question). Sofia , this is sonomod, ( she looks down on people and everyone comparing to her is either Shallow, Uneducated, Unlucky, haven’t been around enough, Haven’t seen much, unfortunate, infidel, retarded, fundamentalist, extremist, dishonest, waked, stupid, and going straight to hell)
Sonomod, I missed your HinAss, how is your bad boy doing?
And believe it or not, “Islam stilldoes not allow ANAL” and you have to get by with what you got. ( I double checked that for you )
No I meant that an attitude of an educated vs uneducated man is not going to differ that much. The bottomline is still the same. I am talking in average terms, that is an individual attitude may differ (so do not jump on me, if yours is different), yet overall is still the same
posted
I see, żdo you mean the difference is not on the education but on a huge scenario that leads to certain extreme situations?
I agree.
Which is the bottomline you think of?
I post this thread because I really think small cases although obviously are individual(but not just punctual ) can tell you much about big problems of a whole society.
[This message has been edited by Sofia25 (edited 08 March 2005).]
Although you are a bit rude, i must say ;-) I too did find strange about sonomod. She/he wasn't answering absolutely nothing related to my post!!!
I thought he/she understood the other side of everything, and i thought it was my fault i did not explain myself properly as english is not my natural language.
but then i've realised it was written with the dignity enough to be understood by people who reads carefully and WANTS to understand...even if they do not agree;-)
quote:Originally posted by welsafty: [QUOTE]Originally posted by Sofia25: [b]I don't think It's prejudicial, I was saying in in a positive way, I perceive Egyptian women much more "smarter" not to be foolish by no man with words, but i guess it happens anyway. I know a pair of these cases (by the part of the second life)
And, yes, I think economical and cultural situation in Egypt can be an important cause of misundertandings and misinterpretations of what a respectful relation between a man and a woman should be, obviously in certain cases, of course.
We all know about double standards.
Sofia, you are very new in this forum, and you haven’t been introduce yet, Sonomod, this is Sofia, (asking innocent question). Sofia , this is sonomod, ( she looks down on people and everyone comparing to her is either Shallow, Uneducated, Unlucky, haven’t been around enough, Haven’t seen much, unfortunate, infidel, retarded, fundamentalist, extremist, dishonest, waked, stupid, and going straight to hell)
Sonomod, I missed your HinAss, how is your bad boy doing?
And believe it or not, “Islam stilldoes not allow ANAL” and you have to get by with what you got. ( I double checked that for you )
[/B][/QUOTE]
Does that woman who were orfi married to still keep in touch with you?
Since you couldn't afford to marry her, she was slumming it and had no interest in marrying you anyway (your words).
Man what a hurt ego. And still looking for another opportunity to be hurt in a orfi marriage by picking up desperate grannies on this forum. Some people yearn to hurt.
Posts: 5744 | From: Minneapolis, Mn USA | Registered: Mar 2004
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quote:Originally posted by 1mangang: never mind sonomod she comes to these forum because her husband wont give her sex anymore since she had oral with their dog and was caught.
at least thats the word on the streets take care
Imanggang, you are so obedient.
Posts: 5744 | From: Minneapolis, Mn USA | Registered: Mar 2004
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posted
not as obedient as that dog when he was pleasuring you in front of your father. i hear your husband joined in and did the dog as it was forced to lap up your rotten coochie.
Posts: 751 | From: US OF A | Registered: Jan 2005
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quote:Originally posted by sonomod: Does that woman who were orfi married to still keep in touch with you? Since you couldn't afford to marry her, she was slumming it and had no interest in marrying you anyway (your words). Man what a hurt ego. And still looking for another opportunity to be hurt in a orfi marriage by picking up desperate grannies on this forum. Some people yearn to hurt.
Nop , dear HinAss, the Last I heard from this girl was the time she asked for the Orfi marriage, after I explained to her briefly what I feel about orphic marriage, and that I didn’t see a significant difference between Orfi Marriage and Adultery (the Islamic definition of Adultery- and Not yours ) and that I was not interested in losing my faith for her to have some fun, and she had no interest in getting married to anyone anyway, that’s why she thought Orfi marriage will give her what she wants with me, (Maybe she would have developed a some interest in marrying me if I was a “BAD BOY” you know those type of guys!! The type who are in touch with their feminine side!) and if you are intrested in her, I can look up her contact for you, last I heared she goes both ways.
which reminds me, you haven’t answered my question about Adultery, I am kinda still interested in knowing your views on adultery and when it is it acceptable and when it is not,
quote:Originally posted by welsafty: which reminds me, you haven’t answered my question about Adultery, I am kinda still interested in knowing your views on adultery and when it is it acceptable and when it is not,
Adultry is when a married person does the deed with another person. Same as with a non-married person does the deed with a person who is married.
I have never been fond of casual sex, though I don't believe that sex outside of marriage is necessarily mean you are going straight to hell. Yet it must be a commited relationship moving towards marriage. Not a Christian belief , but a contemporary one that I have attain to.
All of my cousins lived with their fiances before marriage. Yet these are the only men they have been with. Somehow women are not loose in my family except for my mother. My sis and I are the only ones to wait to move in with our husband until we were married. So I am extremely leery of 'living together'.
As for polygamy, we all know there is nothing holding Jews back from polygamy. The point is that they don't do it. And haven't done it for some time. I know of a woman in another town who is Jewish and is a second wife. She moved here from LA because if she didn't the first wife would've ended up killing her. She is on public assistance because her husband won't support her. And she isn't allowed in 2 of the 3 synagouges here. This isn't gossip, I overheard her speaking of this in a public library. She was trying to pick up a Hasidic jew with no success.
Why is Muslims so accepting of this? I don't think they are, its just the perception of these egy boards. Whenever polygamy is supported on an Islamic website I have done some digging and its usually a revert who pinned the commentary. From my knowledge a large majority of reverts are co-wives. This is why my husband wanted to marry a Christian. and due to the fact that he started to drive 60 miles to a Mosque out of town because mother's were introducing their daughters to him in the parking lot, "Is she pretty enough for you?" is not a good way of introducing your daughter to a future husband.
For myself, adultry is as bad as murder. It does kill. And I apply an equal amount of disdain for both genders who commit adultry.
[This message has been edited by sonomod (edited 08 March 2005).]
Posts: 5744 | From: Minneapolis, Mn USA | Registered: Mar 2004
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quote:Originally posted by welsafty: (Maybe she would have developed a some interest in marrying me if I was a “BAD BOY” you know those type of guys!! The type who are in touch with their feminine side!) and if you are intrested in her, I can look up her contact for you, last I heared she goes both ways.
My husband's a bad boy due to his excessive need to finish fist fights and see how often his father could pick him up from the police station. Mainly for stupid things, swimming in canals, taking his uncles speedboat without permission, speeding, but never anything to do with women.
he doesn't actually have a femine side, he saw Dr. Phil and said "who the hell is this fag?" Not very nice, but oh well.
No my husband is a gorgeous young olive toned Ahmed Zaki, with massive dimples. At 6' 3" and 220lbs he used to spot for Mr. Egypt during his weight training. My father's main complaint was, "could you have possibly married a taller, more handsome guy?" "Holy **** sweetheart, he's got to be the tallest guy from that country". My husband took a 500lb air conditioner up three flights of stairs and helped my dad take it down 3 flights of stairs with my dad, he said "***, he handled that AC unit almost completely, I didn't handle much weight."
No he's all man. No matter how bratty he gets, at least he's nice to look at.
Posts: 5744 | From: Minneapolis, Mn USA | Registered: Mar 2004
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posted
Sophia, I am an american woman married to an egyptian man, for many years. We met and married here in the states. I can't answer or give info for other women married to egyptian men, in other countries. It is a very good question, and I was happy to see an egyptian woman responding to you. Here in america it is still going on , many fraud marriages and neither wife many times do not know. It is wrong and a terrible lie ,to deceive two women. A lot of the egyptian women think the husband is coming over to seek employment, and they do not question this. The man "works under the table" and wires money back to his wife and children. While he is married to an american woman at the same time. If and when one of the women discovers this"secret" or the government here first. Sometimes the egyptian woman stays in the marriage, due to lack of finances, and because of the children.Of course when the money is wired from america it is worth three times more in egypt. Morgan was right in a lot of cases "money" they demand more and keep it quiet or it is a business arrangement to begin with. In the 1980's here green cards were being given out at the fastest speed like candy being passed out to children. They did not do thorough background checks.Now the wife is the first sponsor for him, and petitions for him but they require a second sponsor now also, to back it up showing financial status of the sponsors, last 3yrs. taxes, etc., the man is not elgible for many government programs , as they were in the past here. Recently in my state immigration had a big sweep of deportations for illegal (fraud) marriages. This is not fair to either woman, to be lied and deceived. Immigration had to slow the process down on visiting visas. They also have implemented some new rules, when interviewed, the man must give telephone number and updated address of "ex-wife" as they refer to them, (bringing in to this country false divorce papers also is a common practice). Immigration before giving the green card is supposed to contact "so called "ex-wife" in egypt to verify if an actual divorce took place. It always not registered in egypt. The problem actually starts in egypt, hopefully to protect all parties concerned, they should personally check him out there. Before even letting him enter this country. More americans are pressuring state dept. and homeland security , to do the checking there first. Not a slap on the hand, here is your visa, then we have a double marriage, children involved and a big mess. This is playing with people's hearts and is wrong. They may even consider sending someone in person right to the egyptian woman's home to check them out(marriage is over)? Unfortunately some of them always slip through the cracks, that is why women have to watch the cell phone bills, any strange numbers,if you can't speak the language have someone call for you. Many cases the family didn't even know these men have wives here, and women have discovered it and called the family themselves, or the egyptian wife, and then all "hell breaks loose". In some cases even mosques have introduced american moslem converted woman , to married men for marriage. This is illegal here. Americans, are pressuring the State Dept., Homeland Security, Immigration, 911 Commission formed by people who lost loved ones, to enforce stricter laws and check people out better. I have nothing against this because when I was stationed in the middle east, I had to carry my passport on me all the time at check points in the gulf countries. Actually that is why people are bashing america so bad, for the first time they may here the word "no" or show this document! Unfortunately you have ignorant people and predjudices everywhere, good and bad men also in regards to the lies about being single. Off the subject, someone commented on another post I just read about "Hilary Clinton for President", everyone is talking about that here . I think that would be great, I would sure vote for her!!(It is worth the watch if you ever get the chance watch the film by Michael Moore-Fahrenheit 9/11 ). Anyways Sophia ,this question has been asked in many threads in different ways, that just shows how important the issue is, maybe women's groups in egypt might take this one on and can do some good for the egyptian women , to stop this problem.
Posts: 273 | From: USA | Registered: Jan 2005
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quote:Originally posted by sonomod: My husband's a bad boy due to his excessive need to finish fist fights and see how often his father could pick him up from the police station. Mainly for stupid things, swimming in canals, taking his uncles speedboat without permission, speeding, but never anything to do with women.
he doesn't actually have a femine side, he saw Dr. Phil and said "who the hell is this fag?" Not very nice, but oh well.
No my husband is a gorgeous young olive toned Ahmed Zaki, with massive dimples. At 6' 3" and 220lbs he used to spot for Mr. Egypt during his weight training. My father's main complaint was, "could you have possibly married a taller, more handsome guy?" "Holy **** sweetheart, he's got to be the tallest guy from that country". My husband took a 500lb air conditioner up three flights of stairs and helped my dad take it down 3 flights of stairs with my dad, he said "***, he handled that AC unit almost completely, I didn't handle much weight."
No he's all man. No matter how bratty he gets, at least he's nice to look at.
Yeah! All brawn, no brains!!!!!!!! Ha, ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha. You'll say he does but it won't be true!!!!
quote:Originally posted by Darkeyes: Yeah! All brawn, no brains!!!!!!!! Ha, ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha. You'll say he does but it won't be true!!!!
Turtles, you wouldn't know if your fake spouse has brains because his understanding of English or Austrian has to be poor.
And how intelligent can cabana boys be?
My husband finished the first half of his medical degree in addition to a commerce degree, physics, calculas, organic chemistry. He's smart. Just because he's hot doesn't mean he's stupid.
Now I know you're very intelligent, just foolish. I have seen your photo next to Kemety. I can understand why you have this complex and misunderstanding. Beautiful people can be smart too. Kinda hard for you to remember to rationalize that isn't it?
Posts: 5744 | From: Minneapolis, Mn USA | Registered: Mar 2004
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posted
Thanks very much Alana for the information.
I think it's a big big social problem there in Egypt (i am not living in Egypt nor egyptian but i am interested in arabic culture, language and middle east situation, and specially in women rights). In my opinion, women not having total freedom (for me this lack of freedom is mainly economical) worsens the situation we women have worldwide, (in some parts of the world worse than others, of course) but even though, worse than men.
Thanks a lot.
[This message has been edited by Sofia25 (edited 09 March 2005).]
[This message has been edited by Sofia25 (edited 09 March 2005).]
quote:Originally posted by sonomod: he doesn't actually have a femine side, he saw Dr. Phil and said "who the hell is this fag?" Not very nice, but oh well.
mm, Dr Phill ?? I see, you are actually proud of your husband seeing a TV "SHRINK" who discribes your bad boy's condition as "WHAT A FAG" I raken soon he'll teach him to Sing " I feel pretty",,, "Ohh Soo pretty", I feel pretty... and weitty, and GaaaAaaaAAaaAAAAy"
posted
"All of my cousins lived with their fiances before marriage. Yet these are the only men they have been with. Somehow women are not loose in my family except for my mother".
Do we have to understand that you think women who have been more than with one men are loose????
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