posted
I´m just about to explode! I´ve been involved in a very interesting but also time-consuming project at university. Actually, it is devided in several units and I was supposed to make a research on a special issue with a fellow student. We started last year and we´re supposed to finish until April. The problem is that my ”partner” canceled our appointments several times; he failed to share with me his research results, etc... I asked him (politely and patiently!) to devote himself more to our project. Of course, he promised he would. But again, I could not rely on his participation. When I frankly asked him to explain his behaviour, he didn´t even bother to answer my e-mail (he´s not studying in Germany right now, he moved to another European country). How impolite is that?! Yesterday I called him and just then! he told me that he´s too busy to continue this project. Can you imagine that?! He´s giving up the project just like that!!! I´m so upset that I relied on him and that he let me down just like that. And what is even more annoying: He didn´t even have the guts to tell me!!! This stupid stupid jerk!!!
I can´t tell you how angry I am! I´m just about to explode! When I called him yesterday, I was just stunned about so much cowardice and irresponsibility. Today, I´d like to shake him, to throw things at him, to yell at him. Arrhggghhhh!!!!
I´m sorry, guys, for this outburst, I just had to get rid of it.
Posts: 173 | From: Germany | Registered: Nov 2005
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Can you salvage it, even though he didn't do his share????
Good luck with everything, and hopefully the professor will understand that you did this entirely by yourself.
Posts: 8794 | From: 01-20-09 The End of an Error | Registered: Dec 2004
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If you need some help... i'm not that busy these days... For the future, just make sure you know who you choose to work with.
Posts: 1473 | From: France | Registered: Oct 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Snoozin: I'm sorry he did that to you.
Can you salvage it, even though he didn't do his share????
Good luck with everything, and hopefully the professor will understand that you did this entirely by yourself.
Hey Snoozin, thanks for your compassion
I´ll definitely complete this project on my own. Well, I´ll have to invest more time on researching and writing, which means that I´ll have to reduce my private life to zero, to sleep a little less, etc. since this is not my only project. But hey, I can´t give up like that, so I´ll manage Posts: 173 | From: Germany | Registered: Nov 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Jesus Cesar: If you need some help... i'm not that busy these days... For the future, just make sure you know who you choose to work with.
I don´t see how you could help me, but thanks a lot for offering help ;-)
What kind of advice is that!?! I thought I *knew* my so-called "partner". We´re always wiser after the event, aren´t we?
Posts: 173 | From: Germany | Registered: Nov 2005
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posted
This is the kind of thing that happens to anyone at least once, and we make sure it never happens again. I once had a presentation to do with a friend, he escaped... he's not my friend anymore. And each time i have a presentation to do, i do it alone, but i accept 'trully motivated' people to do it with me.
Posts: 1473 | From: France | Registered: Oct 2005
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I had some difficulties with Finite Math, and one of the classmates knew how to solve homework problems, so I asked her to meet me in Library 2 hours before homework submission so we can do it together. She was like, oh sure! Why not?! I explained to her that I am Senior ( like her it was my last semester ) and can't afford to get lower grade, she was like oh I know, I compleely understand. Then I go there and she is nowhere to find. I went to tutor provided by University, he had no clue how to do it either, so I ended up doing it alone.
Another guy, I know he was Middle Eastern, but I never asked him from where he is originally, he was getting 100% on all math tests, and my God, he did not want to help me much. I was quite surprised that he was so selfishly protective of his knowledge and did not care much about helping others. Very cold non-responsive guy. Yet he was all over some cheap looking blonde so whenever I would ask hom some question she would STARE AT ME. He was the first year student, had everything perfectly neat, and appeared to be rich. While most of students would buy only what we have to buy (in regards of books and supplies), he would buy everything what we need and what we don't need - brand new, the most expensive stuff, and lay everything on his desk. He was perfectionist and overall very arrogant.
However, I had a positive experience with many students as well. Like with one short cute guy, who looked so young (like 14) that I thought he was genius student or something like that. He looked like a boy, so nobody payed attention to him, however he was brilliant in Statistics. He would find mistakes in professor's questions, My God he was really impressive and very helpful to me.
I asked him to help me with Statistics and he was like sure, email me!! I emailed him a question, he is replying to me on time, and he wrote 1 page (including numbers). You know how difficult is to write Statistics in email. He solved the whole problem, wrote it down for me, and explained everything in details. He was better than professor. I graduated before him, but we still keep in touch via emails. He is future NURSE.
He is going to help many people, trust me, he is born to help, very compassionate and brilliantly intelligent guy. Oh yeah, later he appeared on my graduation from nowhere, and made a few pictures of me.
There are many examples of good apples and bad apples, but as far as I could experience, it's always more benefitial and rewarding to have friends who nobody notices, down to earth people, instead of ones who always want to be in spotlights. Posts: 989 | Registered: Aug 2004
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Thank you so much for your replies. Sharing with me your own bad experiences in similar situations and your encouraging words really helped me a lot.
I admit, I lost my temper. But it was definitely much better to post my anger here on ES rather than departing for France and killing this jerk with my own hands. Guys, you prevented a crime!
I´ll keep you informed about my project. It´s about political violence. I´m focusing on media coverage. Interesting, isn´t it?!
quote:Originally posted by ~Sharon Stone~: Another guy, I know he was Middle Eastern, but I never asked him from where he is originally, he was getting 100% on all math tests, and my God, he did not want to help me much. I was quite surprised that he was so selfishly protective of his knowledge and did not care much about helping others. Very cold non-responsive guy. Yet he was all over some cheap looking blonde so whenever I would ask hom some question she would STARE AT ME. He was the first year student, had everything perfectly neat, and appeared to be rich. While most of students would buy only what we have to buy (in regards of books and supplies), he would buy everything what we need and what we don't need - brand new, the most expensive stuff, and lay everything on his desk. He was perfectionist and overall very arrogant.
This guy sounds like the "American Psycho" guy if you saw the film...
But i disagree with the statement you make about being in the spotlight and compassion, i think you can conceal your ego with caring for other people. In the same time, you can be down to the earth and not caring at all for other people. Believe me.
Posts: 1473 | From: France | Registered: Oct 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Jesus Cesar: But i disagree with the statement you make about being in the spotlight and compassion, i think you can conceal your ego with caring for other people. In the same time, you can be down to the earth and not caring at all for other people. Believe me.
I am not sure what are you saying here. I said that from my experiences, students at my University who always wanted to be in the spotlight were in some way cold and non-responsive as friends, especially when it was about helping. Maybe because, in their mind, it was all about them! I was talking about my personal experiences.
Posts: 989 | Registered: Aug 2004
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quote:Originally posted by Jesus Cesar: But i disagree with the statement you make about being in the spotlight and compassion, i think you can conceal your ego with caring for other people. In the same time, you can be down to the earth and not caring at all for other people. Believe me.
I am not sure what are you saying here. I said that from my experiences, students at my University who always wanted to be in the spotlight were in some way cold and non-responsive as friends, especially when it was about helping. Maybe because, in their mind, it was all about them! I was talking about my personal experiences.
i understand what you say now: the "wannabe" type of personality is more caring about him/herself and less about others. i probably misunderstood what you said in the first place.
My idea was: even someone that doesn't 'wannabe' in the spotlight can reveal himself to be really cold. And sometimes, when you label someone a 'wannabe' just because he is in the spotlight, you make yourself wrong ideas as the person can be really friendly...
Posts: 1473 | From: France | Registered: Oct 2005
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posted
Oh I don't know about your own experiences in regards of spotlight and down to earth students or friends, Cesar. Please do share them.
Posts: 989 | Registered: Aug 2004
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posted
there's a statement that says"HELL IS THE OTHERS" for that reason start to rely only on urself and good luck
Posts: 20 | Registered: Jan 2006
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quote:Originally posted by Merima: I´m just about to explode! I´ve been involved in a very interesting but also time-consuming project at university. Actually, it is devided in several units and I was supposed to make a research on a special issue with a fellow student. We started last year and we´re supposed to finish until April. The problem is that my ”partner” canceled our appointments several times; he failed to share with me his research results, etc... I asked him (politely and patiently!) to devote himself more to our project. Of course, he promised he would. But again, I could not rely on his participation. When I frankly asked him to explain his behaviour, he didn´t even bother to answer my e-mail (he´s not studying in Germany right now, he moved to another European country). How impolite is that?! Yesterday I called him and just then! he told me that he´s too busy to continue this project. Can you imagine that?! He´s giving up the project just like that!!! I´m so upset that I relied on him and that he let me down just like that. And what is even more annoying: He didn´t even have the guts to tell me!!! This stupid stupid jerk!!!
I can´t tell you how angry I am! I´m just about to explode! When I called him yesterday, I was just stunned about so much cowardice and irresponsibility. Today, I´d like to shake him, to throw things at him, to yell at him. Arrhggghhhh!!!!
I´m sorry, guys, for this outburst, I just had to get rid of it.
It hard when people you trust let you down but things generally happen for a reason. Last month I moved from Belgium to Cairo to join a start-up company with international backing. Recently we had a change of management & I am not sure that I still have a job under the new structure! At the moment I am angry & deeply disappointed, hopefully things will work out in the long run. Good luck to you!
Posts: 42 | From: Maadi, Cairo | Registered: Dec 2005
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quote:Originally posted by ~Sharon Stone~: Oh I don't know about your own experiences in regards of spotlight and down to earth students or friends, Cesar. Please do share them.
My experience in this topic has been recently expanded. In fact, it's mainly about me. I used to now my spotlight personality very well (the arrogant, hyping, "i-don't-give-a-****-about-you-guy") and then some well made criticism had me explore my down to earth personality (the humble, compassionate, "caring more for others than for myself guy")
During this last experience, i found out i could put together the down to the earth behaviour with selfishness, so, i got back to my spotlight behaviour, and concealed it with the qualities discovered during the exploration.
Concerning friends, i've got the example of two guys: the first one appears to be very humble, and the second one appears to be arrogant.
In reality, the first one is a hypocrit (doesn't call you back when he's supposed to...and other flaws, like answering you on a professional tone when you know each other quite well) and the second one is more honest and friendly, a nice piece of person.
Concerning university: two guys, the first one really popular, definitely in the spotlight, wearing expensive clothes etc... The other one, really humble, definitely a down to earth one.
The first one is warm, likes to laugh with everybody, is helping others when he can, concerned about others... The second one, is despiseful, arrogant with people he judges like not being humble enough.
Now here are examples of what i wanted to say in the first place. I don't want to generalize patterns because this aspects differ from one another.
Now of course when you have to work with someone, make a presentation for instance, i think it's better to do it with someone you can rely on. But it's also nice to do it with someone that has a minimum of ego, just to make sure that you are going to defend your work and opinion in a convincing way.
Posts: 1473 | From: France | Registered: Oct 2005
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It hard when people you trust let you down but things generally happen for a reason. Last month I moved from Belgium to Cairo to join a start-up company with international backing. Recently we had a change of management & I am not sure that I still have a job under the new structure! At the moment I am angry & deeply disappointed, hopefully things will work out in the long run. Good luck to you! [/QB]
Hey Anneke, I´m so sorry to hear about your problems. I can very vividly imagine your frustration. I´ll keep my fingers crossed for you that everything goes the way you want it to be. I wish you all the best.
BTW, I admire your courage to follow your dream by relocating to Cairo to join this start-up company. Posts: 173 | From: Germany | Registered: Nov 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Anneke: It hard when people you trust let you down but things generally happen for a reason. Last month I moved from Belgium to Cairo to join a start-up company with international backing. Recently we had a change of management & I am not sure that I still have a job under the new structure! At the moment I am angry & deeply disappointed, hopefully things will work out in the long run.
posted
Thanks guys, I somehow feel better today, I just told myself that it is only a job & there are more important in life. I'll keep you posted on how things are progressing.
Cheers Ann
Posts: 42 | From: Maadi, Cairo | Registered: Dec 2005
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Very cold non-responsive guy. Yet he was all over some cheap looking blonde so whenever I would ask hom some question she would STARE AT ME. He was the first year student, had everything perfectly neat, and appeared to be rich. While most of students would buy only what we have to buy (in regards of books and supplies), he would buy everything what we need and what we don't need - brand new, the most expensive stuff, and lay everything on his desk. He was perfectionist and overall very arrogant. ![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
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