posted i met this nice english, rather naive girl who was married to an egyptian man and when i got more friendly with this girl i found out her husband was a scum of the earth. he had multiple wives (western) and used drugs etc... you name it, he had done it. at first it seemed to me this girl hadn't any idea at all and she was living with him in egypt. he disappeared for weeks since he had to go to "army" and left to live in a hotel with his other wives. she would had stayed alone and without food if our family wouldn't look after her. i think (and of course, because she was not brain damaged as far as i know )in a way she must had known something as she asked me what were my toughts about her husband and marriage and army but i told her i wouldn't say even if i knew her husband's had another women and so on. i told her it's your husband and use your mind, ears and eyes. i thought she had enough clues.
she lived with him 2 yrs off and on and finally when she visited last time in england someone called her and told her the truth.
i feel quilty of not telling her about her husband but in the other hand i felt it was not my business.
if i meet anyone in that kind of situation again not sure what would i do now.
what would you do? what is the right thing to do???
sonomod Member # 3864
posted
Yes, and I would enjoy watching her lash out at me and getting mean.
Then she'd figure it out and hate me anyway.
So what?
daria1975 Member # 6244
posted
quote:Originally posted by warda_rosie: i met this nice english, rather naive girl who was married to an egyptian man and when i got more friendly with this girl i found out her husband was a scum of the earth. he had multiple wives (western) and used drugs etc... you name it, he had done it. at first it seemed to me this girl hadn't any idea at all and she was living with him in egypt. he disappeared for weeks since he had to go to "army" and left to live in a hotel with his other wives. she would had stayed alone and without food if our family wouldn't look after her. i think (and of course, because she was not brain damaged as far as i know )in a way she must had known something as she asked me what were my toughts about her husband and marriage and army but i told her i wouldn't say even if i knew her husband's had another women and so on. i told her it's your husband and use your mind, ears and eyes. i thought she had enough clues.
she lived with him 2 yrs off and on and finally when she visited last time in england someone called her and told her the truth.
i feel quilty of not telling her about her husband but in the other hand i felt it was not my business.
if i meet anyone in that kind of situation again not sure what would i do now.
what would you do? what is the right thing to do???
I would want to know if I were her, so my inclination is to tell. Bear in mind though that it might have been the end of your friendship.
But it also sounds like she *did* know when she asked you those questions. Probably not ready to accept the truth yet....
akshar Member # 1680
posted
If she asked a direct question then presumably she wants a direct answer but if she is fishing then it is different. You are dammed if you do and dammed if you don't in a situation like that. I would talk in generalities and drop hints but that is all because maybe she does know and has chosen to ignore it. At the end of the day it is not my business.
bob the dog Member # 4691
posted
My husband was strumping my best friend for 2 years behind my back.... everybody , including her husband knew, and nobody told me!! This was to me an even bigger betrayal by friends than the one by my now ex-husband. I would definitely tell.. but only if I was 101% sure of the fact!
karla Member # 5472
posted
[QUOTE]Originally posted by akshar: [B]If she asked a direct question then presumably she wants a direct answer but if she is fishing then it is different. You are dammed if you do and dammed if you don't in a situation like that.
I'm agree 100% with akshar.
maryluxor Member # 7166
posted
To know if you have to tell, just ask yourself if you would like to know... Sometimes the truth hurts but after you feel better and you don't lose your time.
everyday_angel Member # 8414
posted
quote:Originally posted by warda_rosie: i met this nice english, rather naive girl who was married to an egyptian man and when i got more friendly with this girl i found out her husband was a scum of the earth. he had multiple wives (western) and used drugs etc... you name it, he had done it. at first it seemed to me this girl hadn't any idea at all and she was living with him in egypt. he disappeared for weeks since he had to go to "army" and left to live in a hotel with his other wives. she would had stayed alone and without food if our family wouldn't look after her. i think (and of course, because she was not brain damaged as far as i know )in a way she must had known something as she asked me what were my toughts about her husband and marriage and army but i told her i wouldn't say even if i knew her husband's had another women and so on. i told her it's your husband and use your mind, ears and eyes. i thought she had enough clues.
she lived with him 2 yrs off and on and finally when she visited last time in england someone called her and told her the truth.
i feel quilty of not telling her about her husband but in the other hand i felt it was not my business.
if i meet anyone in that kind of situation again not sure what would i do now.
what would you do? what is the right thing to do???
I would not get involved, it is not your problem, don't make it your problem.
* 7ayat * Member # 7043
posted
i'd send her an anonymous letter
newcomer Member # 1056
posted
Assalamu alaykum 7aya!
Why would you do it anonymously? Wouldn't it be more believable if it was done openly with the person knowing who said it? The reason I am commenting is that I have heard of a number of women who received anonymous phone calls from other women telling them that their husband had taken another wife. These stories didn't all turn out to be true as it happens, but they all caused a lot of problems for the families. I found it strange that this was being done so frequently through anonymous phone calls.
Val_Bias1 Member # 8765
posted
either she is really silly and in love with Egypt or she is terribly niave. Either way, then tell her the truth. Women are much stronger than your think!
* 7ayat * Member # 7043
posted
quote:Originally posted by newcomer: Assalamu alaykum 7aya!
Why would you do it anonymously? Wouldn't it be more believable if it was done openly with the person knowing who said it? The reason I am commenting is that I have heard of a number of women who received anonymous phone calls from other women telling them that their husband had taken another wife. These stories didn't all turn out to be true as it happens, but they all caused a lot of problems for the families. I found it strange that this was being done so frequently through anonymous phone calls.
alekum el salam newcomer! actually i was joking! so really this stuff happens in real life? you know it sounds like an old arabic move, "hi, go to the red rose cabaret and you'll find your husband there with a beautiful woman." hehe. actually i'm not sure what i would do. its a very sticky situation
* 7ayat * Member # 7043
posted
i have this woman in my family who found out that her husband was cheating about a year ago. anyway when she started telling her family, she found out that they already knew! and when she asked her sister, why didn't you tell me? her sister told her i hinted and hinted and hinted and you just wouldn't listen!
warda_rosie Member # 2509
posted
quote:Originally posted by 7aya: i have this woman in my family who found out that her husband was cheating about a year ago. anyway when she started telling her family, she found out that they already knew! and when she asked her sister, why didn't you tell me? her sister told her i hinted and hinted and hinted and you just wouldn't listen!
i hinted her too and told her everything what was going on with these same kind of guys (we have a quite lot of them in luxor). she used to laugh about marriages between older tourist women and young guys and probably said to herself it's not happening to her because she is young. in her heart she knew what was happening but didn't want to admit it. i'm sure she wouldn't have taken half of that **** from any other guy so i'm thinking what made him so special. love really makes people blind.
daria1975 Member # 6244
posted
quote:Originally posted by 7aya: i have this woman in my family who found out that her husband was cheating about a year ago. anyway when she started telling her family, she found out that they already knew! and when she asked her sister, why didn't you tell me? her sister told her i hinted and hinted and hinted and you just wouldn't listen!
That's even tougher when it's in a family. A lot of people really do blame the bearer of bad news.
I dunno. How common is cheating in Egypt? I'm pretty sure it's the biggest factor in divorce here in the US. i've seen estimates as high as 70% of married men cheat and 50% of women. That may be a little high....but not a huge exaggeration.
Penny Member # 1925
posted
If I was 110% sure that a friend of mine or someone in my family was being cheated on I would tell her. I think hinting is actually cruel because if she has doubts you are just adding more doubts without giving the real evidence she needs to make a decision and go on with her life.
I am not sure how you call yourself a friend if you can't stand by someone and do this for them, and if you don't when she finds out you knew all along you will definitely loose the frienship then.
Make me think of the good samaritan story in the bible where a man crosses the road to leave a man dying on the other side of the steet. It is too easy to say in life 'not my problem'
posted 
)in a way she must had known something as she asked me what were my toughts about her husband and marriage and army but i told her i wouldn't say even if i knew her husband's had another women and so on. i told her it's your husband and use your mind, ears and eyes. i thought she had enough clues.