And There is one more thing,
We humans are born with typical ideas and stereotypes of how a husband should be like, a wife, friends and families. That even we know that those humans arent pure ideal for a wife(or whatever role you may choose) we tend in time to forget that this person has his own difficulties, problems, and also faults lots of faults. That maybe doesnt fit in our idea of our role model. so we tend to wipe them off, so the picture can look more perfect. and when suddenly something happens like a betrayal from a friend, we tend to get a wake up call, that this person is not perfect, yes sure we intend to belive that they will be there when we need them, but maybe not. maybe they will get weak and back off. and then we realise that they are just humans with lots of faults. some we never thought could exists and some we didnt even realise existed. But the question is will you except those faults? will you try to solve it? Will you get down with that person and tell them how their betrayal made you feel? cause actually to back off and not care to talk about it, you will also be a betrayer. Maybe not to the person, but to yourself, you will be betraying your own thoughts and ideas.

I hope you guys understood some of my "Socrates" talk over here

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Originally posted by penelope:
hey guys & gals, I was wondering what will any one of u do if he/she was betrayed by a friend, a member of his/her family, a wife, a husband? shall u forgive & forget? breaking off? taking revenge? what will u do????????????

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Rough question! I was betrayed once by a man I thought was a really good friend. He wasn't a boyfriend or anything, just a friend. I can't get into details, but I was facing a life-or-death situation, asked his help (which would have been easy, not like giving up an organ or something) and he refused. Turned his back on me completely.

I was devastated emotionally *and* almost died. I don't talk to him anymore, as much as he tries to. If there has ever been any time in my life I wanted revenge, this was it. But I did nothing. I'm hoping for truth to that saying *what comes around, goes around.*

That's definitely not as easy as it sounds, because I guess it's human nature to want to take revenge or scream or do something silly.

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Originally posted by EFLVirgo:
I walk away for GOOD and act as if the person never existed in the first place.

That's definitely not as easy as it sounds, because I guess it's human nature to want to take revenge or scream or do something silly.

Walking away from hurt has always been my philosophy in life, which I'm not sure is a good or a bad thing. What do you think?

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One advice is : Be very flexible! Extremely flexible. In the face of the wind, you'd bend but never break! No one can break you.

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Originally posted by ngeg:
You can not outsmart being hurt! You simply cannot!

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Very very true. There's no magic rule for preventing hurt. Penelope, I'm sorry for all the times you've been betrayed. Nevertheless, I think you should still believe in love. I don't mean love for a man, but love in general. If everyone stopped loving because they'd been hurt, this world would be a horrible place to live in.

This doesn't mean you should keep loving the person who hurt you. No, like I said earlier, I'm a real big fan of walking away when you're hurt.

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Originally posted by Serendipity:
But the question is will you except those faults? will you try to solve it? Will you get down with that person and tell them how their betrayal made you feel? cause actually to back off and not care to talk about it, you will also be a betrayer. Maybe not to the person, but to yourself, you will be betraying your own thoughts and ideas.

I hope you guys understood some of my "Socrates" talk over here

[This message has been edited by Serendipity (edited 12 August 2005).]

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Originally posted by penelope:
what about v. close ppl, can't they break u too??

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I would only put immediate family under very close ppl. Friends, lovers, neighbors are close ppl with caution. Only parents are able to give unconditional love.

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Originally posted by Leila:
i believe things happen for a reason and as painful or unhappy as you may feel now something better is waiting for you.

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Originally posted by Leila:
"sure we all have to go on but how can u regain happines? may be time will help us all to forget those who betrayed us"

Its only by going through adversities that we learn the most about ourselves and how strong we really are.. what doesn't break you only makes you stronger. Think of it as a blessing that you finally found out the true nature of this person who betrayed you.. i believe things happen for a reason and as painful or unhappy as you may feel now something better is waiting for you.
Time has a way of making problems that once seemed unbearable so much less important.

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Exactly! I have been betrayed a lot this recently two years. And to tell you the truth Penelope, it crushed me really badly!
I got to know things about loved ones that I didnt want to belive, and some turned their backs on me. and someone just stabbed me in the back. I was so depressed about it, that I closed myself in the room, wouldnt talk to anybody about it,a nd couldnt trust anyone. No matter what kind of type you are, the soft, the sensitive or the heart of stone. You will get betrayed. and betrayal the word wouldnt exist if it wasnt the closest ppl to you who would betray you. These betrayals that you go through in life, should make us trust ourselves more, be more aware of how ppl can act in diff situations that we go through in life.
I still cant seem to trust ppl and i still am afraid of getting betrayed again. But I am taking it one step at a time. there are things in life that happens for a reason, a reason that we can not seem to understand in the moment it happens, but after sometime the big picture shows up right in our face. we just have to patient and not give up.
and at the end who ever hurt you Penelope, didnt diserve you, and I tell you something, I am glad that those ppl betrayed me at that time, I got to see their real face and I thank God everyday for that. God loves you and want you to see that you are worth more than their friendship. just dont do as me and lock yourself inside your heart. the wound just grows even bigger.

and Penelope even though I have met you only two times in my life, You are one of the sweetest and most dear person I have ever met. You have a big heart and dont let anyone make you change that about you.

love and a big big hug from Sara

quote:

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Originally posted by Serendipity:
Exactly! I have been betrayed a lot this recently two years. And to tell you the truth Penelope, it crushed me really badly!
I got to know things about loved ones that I didnt want to belive, and some turned their backs on me. and someone just stabbed me in the back. I was so depressed about it, that I closed myself in the room, wouldnt talk to anybody about it,a nd couldnt trust anyone. No matter what kind of type you are, the soft, the sensitive or the heart of stone. You will get betrayed. and betrayal the word wouldnt exist if it wasnt the closest ppl to you who would betray you. These betrayals that you go through in life, should make us trust ourselves more, be more aware of how ppl can act in diff situations that we go through in life.
I still cant seem to trust ppl and i still am afraid of getting betrayed again. But I am taking it one step at a time. there are things in life that happens for a reason, a reason that we can not seem to understand in the moment it happens, but after sometime the big picture shows up right in our face. we just have to patient and not give up.
and at the end who ever hurt you Penelope, didnt diserve you, and I tell you something, I am glad that those ppl betrayed me at that time, I got to see their real face and I thank God everyday for that. God loves you and want you to see that you are worth more than their friendship. just dont do as me and lock yourself inside your heart. the wound just grows even bigger.

and Penelope even though I have met you only two times in my life, You are one of the sweetest and most dear person I have ever met. You have a big heart and dont let anyone make you change that about you.

love and a big big hug from Sara

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Originally posted by Troubles101:
This is weired

[This message has been edited by Troubles101 (edited 15 August 2005).]

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quote:

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Originally posted by Serendipity:

what is weird???

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Originally posted by penelope:
thank u sara sooo much, u r really sweet, & don't worry I can't change my nature no matter how hard I tried, everytime I fail, wish I could be more cruel.
u r so wise looking to ur age, how come u became that wise girl , what is the secret?
any way do u have any idea what should a person do if he/she is stuck with that person who is used to betray him/her??

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Sara if you have the answer for Penelope's question it will be very helpful.

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Originally posted by Troubles101:
This thread is weired. Many girls here yet none is fighting the other. is this some kind of truce I have missed?

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Dear to have to meet that person who betrayed you is one of the diff thing that you go through. Not enough that he/she betrayed you, but his/hers always being around keeps you always reminded of the betrayal.
You know its one of the toughest thing you can go through in life, but the only saviour is how you can deal with it. I am sure those who has gotten betrayed here, always wonder how this betrayal was possible, and specially from this person who you thought you could trust no matter what happened. And you keep wondering what is wrong with you and why ppl tend to do that to you. IF you think that way.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW!
None of it your fault! but here comes the thing I talked about before, that we open our eyes and stop seeing that person as the ideal person we have made in our heads to the real human being that was capable of betraying us.
A human that is capable of being selfish and do lots of faults.
That’s why you have to understand none of it is your fault.
When this person did this to you, he thought about himself (sorry for choosing the male but its too much work writing both!). That is why you should not waste your time wondering how he could do this to you or how it was possible at all. You should instead take a time for yourself, DON’T in any circumstances lock yourself inside! The wound will only get worse! If you are afraid of the pain you feel and how much it hurts, don’t be its better to feel it now, all of it then to keep carrying around with it and feel it all the time. Take time to heal your heart and time where you talk to your heart. ( I know I may sound ridiculous or crazy) But if you do that, you will get more clear of your feelings and what actually matters to you and the quicker the wound will be healed. Right it down in a journal or talk with someone about it. (ehm ehm I am here you know )
Look God has always a purpose in everything that happens in our lives, maybe this person would have hurt you more if you didn’t find out now. Maybe this is how God wants you to take care of yourself again and start getting to know yourself. Maybe it’s a warning for that person can hurt you more if you don’t be aware. And think of it as a blessing. Not a curse.
You know, if you are stuck with them, smile! it’s a reminder that this person caused you to be stronger! He caused you to take care of yourself and open your eyes and search for what you really want to achieve in life. every time you meet him, be happy! Cause he has lost you, you haven’t lost anything, but gained more understanding about life and his real face and not just a glossy mask.
Make your waking up in the morning for what you feel. NOT what he makes you feel. And make your nights for how thankful you are for the small things you have in your life that mean so much but you never noticed them before now. Make your life about what you can do to achieve your goals and NOT what others can do to make you achieve it.
And if you meet him today, ssssmiiiiiile, if it weren’t for him you would be still living in a world that would be capable of ruining you, without you even knowing about it!
And remember its good that you are feeling pain, that means you are still alive and your heart still is beating. And as long as your heart is beating and you still have air in your lounges, these things will mean nothing. He didn’t take away the air or the blood on your veins, so be glad and look at the world with a new refreshed look and as an opportunity to seize the things that you have taken for granted.

Hope I helped here, I know it will take time for you to take in all this and understand it. But take your time, heal your heart as if you’re comforting your child.