posted
If one day your not so better half said he was leaving you and not to contact him again . And then the next day say's I LOVE YOU . How do i make him pay for being a lil turd to me ? I'd smack him in the head but i dont believe in physical abuse . Although i think it might help him . The stress this man put's me through . I love him so much i think he needs a good lession for this one . Anyone got any ideals ? How would you make him grovel ?
daria1975 Member # 6244
posted
quote:Originally posted by Gemini_Beth: If one day your not so better half said he was leaving you and not to contact him again . And then the next day say's I LOVE YOU . How do i make him pay for being a lil turd to me ? I'd smack him in the head but i dont believe in physical abuse . Although i think it might help him . The stress this man put's me through . I love him so much i think he needs a good lession for this one . Anyone got any ideals ? How would you make him grovel ?
If you want to make him grovel, that means:
1. You are not over him. 2. Your want to assuage your own pain at his expense.
I'm not being mean. I've been there. Better to walk away and forget. The best *revenge* is leading a happy, rewarding life.
Gemini_Beth Member # 8410
posted
I'm still with him . He just needs a little lession . Gowd can't a girl have a little fun ...............
nelos Member # 8327
posted
nobody is perfect. he behaves to you in this way likely because also you something do to him, something that perhaps hurt his feelings, unless is... "problematic".:P my opinion is ..do not do something for which later it can you regret. continue to love him as he is. anyway I wish you best in any case.
nelos
daria1975 Member # 6244
posted
quote:Originally posted by Gemini_Beth: I'm still with him . He just needs a little lession . Gowd can't a girl have a little fun ...............
Honestly, if there is that much stress in a relationship and you are not married, it's best just to walk away. I mean it. Most of my relationships have had that type of drama in them. Now, I'm in one that is peaceful and respectful and honest. First time in my life and I'm 38. There's no comparison and there's no going back.
Gemini_Beth Member # 8410
posted
GOWD !!! Now your all depressing me . i just wanted to have a lil fun with him . thanx for killing the moment all . Im sure to die a lonely old women now.
daria1975 Member # 6244
posted
quote:Originally posted by Gemini_Beth: GOWD !!! Now your all depressing me . i just wanted to have a lil fun with him . thanx for killing the moment all . Im sure to die a lonely old women now.
It's just not very *healthy* to want to make a man you love *grovel.*
Gemini_Beth Member # 8410
posted
Could you all be so kind as to tell Mody to piss off for me ? Because im gunna be in my bedroom eatin chip , suckin down soda and munchin on oreo's . the only exercise i will get is pressing the button on the remote . IM SOOOOOOOO DEPRESSED NOW . I cant face the world anymore . maybe you all can start a new topic for me . something like SORRY MODY GEMINI KICKED YOU TO THE CURB AND SHE'S GUNNA DIE A SLOW DEATH OF OBESITY . And yes best actress role goes to me .
[This message has been edited by Gemini_Beth (edited 25 July 2005).]
poppy Member # 3491
posted
I think u have to take into account his nationality, cultural background and religious beliefs. For example, an English man from my country would view matters of adultery, alcholic indulgences, and career (and many other subjects! i don't have time to mention) from a very different angle to that of a man from a middle eastern culture. Eastern man is very complex!!! in my experience, thats if you are a western woman like myself. This is just an oppinion, but i did take the time to study the culture. (religion was another separate and important issue for me.) before i actually decided to leave my own, familiar world! Sorry! but you did ask! So anyway, i have to say that i feel an English man( whereas he might be happy to talk things over with you, when relations got a bit sticky! if u'll pardon the pun! And meet you halfway and make compromises. But i really get the feeling that, as a direct result of an Eastern man's cultural upbringing. I may be wrong! but having studied this... I'm of the oppinion any man in general, from a Middle Eastern culture, would never ever grovel for any women. And i apologise, if this is not what you wanted to hear. I wish you luck in building a positive 'self image' and regaining your own, very important 'self esteem.' If it helps...in my lifetime i have been 'to hell and back', where men are concerned. My family, studies and religion have all helped me to 'find myself' in some way. That and the old cliche 'time is a great healer' Good luck and God bless.
RaniaMe Member # 7590
posted
That's a very strange relation you have...How old are you both? This guy comes here, tells everyone about his girlfriend's past, says he's looking for a new girlfriend... And you're still with him? How can you accept that?
Gail Member # 6886
posted
Gemini_Beth ~
Check out my post on this forum dated June 7 under the topic "I need some cheering up." It is filled with excellent advice for me when I was going through a similar situation. Let me know what you think of it.
Gail Member # 6886
posted
Gemini_Beth ~ Someone just told me something yesterday that I had forgotten. We teach people how to treat us. Just teach him in some way how you expect to be treated. I'm not a big advocate of playing games ... as fun as that may be to see him squirm. You're better than that. Take the high road as they say. Peace
Gemini_Beth Member # 8410
posted
Yeah im depressed now . Oreo hell here i come . Oh and poopy i was married to a Britt before . matter of fact he share's a child with me . And i do know a little something about culture . But thank you .
[This message has been edited by Gemini_Beth (edited 25 July 2005).]
Gemini_Beth Member # 8410
posted
Thanx Gail .
poppy Member # 3491
posted
You are welcome and yes culture is a very interesting subject indeed. Tell me how did you find marriage to a British guy? I am married to a Tunisian man.
Gemini_Beth Member # 8410
posted
I actually was talking to his uncle on icq and his uncle introduced us . one thing lead to another . 8 month later he was here 2 months after that we got married . He is also 13 years younger then me . And we have also kept a good friendship or our son .
poppy Member # 3491
posted
Yes i agree that its nice when you can end a relationship and also keep things civilised. Especially when there are children involved. You are lucky you met a nice English man! I met only the bad ones, when i was there. And you know i also believe that RaniaMe is right, when she says that you shouldn't just accept it when a man treats you badly. And i would add to that. Its your self value thats important. Respect yourself and others tend to do the same. But sadly, in general terms women are brought up and encouraged to put everyone else first. To think of everybody first, putting themselves last. Society in general terms in the west i found teaches women to feel guilty. If they don't comply with this unwritten rule! Do you read at all? books or magazine articles? I wish i had more time to do this now. But am always working, unfortunately. I have an idea, i'm gonna recommend a really good book for you to read now.... It will make you think AND if you are feeling depressed. This book you will find very, very helpful. You know why? its written especially for women, by a woman ok. Tittle: 'Empowering Women' By Louise L Hay. I.S.B.N. 0-340-71292-9. Its paperback The authoress, has had her books published in 25 countries, in 33 different languages. So its gotto be good yeah! I know there's many similar books too. Hey! you should now go on a journey of self discovery!
Gemini_Beth Member # 8410
posted
Not to sound rude but i dont think thats for me . I know who i am and what i want outta life . And in relationships i play the more dominate role . And i really don't think men like that to much in women . Even though most say they don't mind . But deep down there caveman instinks come to play .It happens to the best of them .lol . I guess i was kinda wishing Mody was the one .I've ben with him for a year and a half now . I guess things get to regular , to comfortable , to boring . Oh hell , wheres the oreo's .Anyhow thanx for the input .
Karah_Mia Member # 4668
posted
quote:Originally posted by nelos: nobody is perfect. he behaves to you in this way likely because also you something do to him, something that perhaps hurt his feelings, unless is... "problematic".:P my opinion is ..do not do something for which later it can you regret. continue to love him as he is. anyway I wish you best in any case.
nelos
Good point Nelos!
sonomod Member # 3864
posted
quote:Originally posted by nelos: nobody is perfect. he behaves to you in this way likely because also you something do to him, something that perhaps hurt his feelings, unless is... "problematic".:P my opinion is ..do not do something for which later it can you regret. continue to love him as he is. anyway I wish you best in any case.
nelos
In other words be a doormat right?
egyptfind Member # 7388
posted
Good point Sonomod.
"Accept him as he is and love him".
Yeah, do it, but... ¿¿¿¿expect no respect??? absolutely not! REAL love is not only giving, is also taking something similar to what you give.
quote:Originally posted by sonomod: In other words be a doormat right?
_ Member # 3567
posted
Beth, just look for a guy more your age, someone who is already done with that teenage stuff (sorry Mody not that I know you personally ) who has a stable job, the right attitude to be in a sincere relationship with you - with all the good and the bad. Simply a man you can build a future with. And don't look around on the internet for a man from abroad I am sure you will find a nice American guy (I married one myself ) in your area if you are interested in. And maybe you should rethink your goals what you want out of your life. Don't forget you need also to find a decent man who will be a good and caring stepfather to your son. Good luck!
[This message has been edited by Tigerlily (edited 26 July 2005).]
loborules Member # 5457
posted
sounds like games to me ... I'd dump him who needs the bs ... especially if it has happened before ... been there done that .. have heard it before ...
sonomod Member # 3864
posted
quote:Originally posted by egyptfind: Good point Sonomod.
"Accept him as he is and love him".
Yeah, do it, but... ¿¿¿¿expect no respect??? absolutely not! REAL love is not only giving, is also taking something similar to what you give.
But its so strange how people of either gender don't know how to give or ask for what they need.
egyptfind Member # 7388
posted
Yes, and it's so easy. You just have to give, and take, and if you feel yoo don't take absolutely anything, then ask openly for it, and if you still don't get it...then run!!!
It's curious that when i expose this kind of sane and healthy love i amb very criticised and told as a non romantic person.
I think it's quite the contrary.
Loosing respect for yourself for the sake of a theoretical love of another person it's not loving, it's another thing, not quite sure about the word to describe it.
quote:Originally posted by sonomod: But its so strange how people of either gender don't know how to give or ask for what they need.
poppy Member # 3491
posted
Perhaps its called 'lulling urself into a false sense of security' and placing all of ur hopes and dreams on a thoeretical fantasy.
nelos Member # 8327
posted
quote:Originally posted by sonomod: In other words be a doormat right?
sorry but I did not understand what means "doormat"!
can you become more evident?
greeting from Greece
poppy Member # 3491
posted
quote:Originally posted by nelos: sorry but I did not understand what means "doormat"!
can you become more evident?
greeting from Greece
Hi nelos...a doormat is a small carpet, put on the ground outside the front door to your house. U then use it to clean your shoes on it, before u come into the house...So here its used as a metaphor.
Sorry they mean here...women should not bow down to men and let men clean their shoes on them!!! In other words they should not allow men to use them badly or treat them impolitely. I hope i have explained it ok. So u can understand it.
nelos Member # 8327
posted
quote:Originally posted by egyptfind: Good point Sonomod.
"Accept him as he is and love him".
Yeah, do it, but... ¿¿¿¿expect no respect??? absolutely not! REAL love is not only giving, is also taking something similar to what you give.
I think the respect does not have relation with that what you report "REAL lone is not only giving, is also taking something similar to what you give."!!!
because "give-take" is part of a ..."game" that is named love BUT ..in that ..game if you want to be REAL and GOOD .."player" you will be supposed to FORGET word "take"!!!
in REAL LOVE YOU only GIVE!
IF thinks they thus come and you ..."take" its OK!
IF is not ....also OK!
the situation ..."give-take" it reminds more ...trade or work and not ...love!
the respect you gain, you do not require!
this is my opinion!
greeting from Greece
nelos Member # 8327
posted
quote:Originally posted by poppy: Hi nelos...a doormat is a small carpet, put on the ground outside the front door to your house. U then use it to clean your shoes on it, before u come into the house...So here its used as a metaphor.
Sorry they mean here...women should not bow down to men and let men clean their shoes on them!!! In other words they should not allow men to use them badly or treat them impolitely. I hope i have explained it ok. So u can understand it.
firstly, thank you for the explanation. at my opinion, ...me at least when I love a woman ...I become big, rich, soft, tender and beautiful Persian carpet ...not for cleaning shoes, BUT in order to I embrace chosen Lady of my heart!
it is bad in love to be ...selfish! that does not mean it will be not supposed to have you ...dignity!
me at least... thus... I function!
greeting from Greece
poppy Member # 3491
posted
Ah! thats great nelos...protecting and respecting...a good love philosophy.
gigli Member # 7682
posted
If you love him or want to have a successfull relationship with anyone try to read the following book
Relationship rescue by Dr. Phil Mcgraw.
It changed my life, saved my relationship! Even thought its easy to blame the other party you are only responsible for your own behaviour and its best to start looking for what you do that causes him to react in this way. Best of luck to you. Read this book and let me know XX
poppy Member # 3491
posted
Can u post the International Standard Book Number. I.S.B.N. Also the name of THE BOOK'S PUBLISHER AND DATE IT WAS PUBLISHED. Its all in front cover and on the back. To enable us all to order AND purchase this book in any country, MANY THX. X
Medosa Member # 8196
posted
quote:Originally posted by Gemini_Beth: If one day your not so better half said he was leaving you and not to contact him again . And then the next day say's I LOVE YOU . How do i make him pay for being a lil turd to me ? I'd smack him in the head but i dont believe in physical abuse . Although i think it might help him . The stress this man put's me through . I love him so much i think he needs a good lession for this one . Anyone got any ideals ? How would you make him grovel ?
Tape your knees together with strong sticky bandage....
gigli Member # 7682
posted
quote:Originally posted by poppy: Can u post the International Standard Book Number. I.S.B.N. Also the name of THE BOOK'S PUBLISHER AND DATE IT WAS PUBLISHED. Its all in front cover and on the back. To enable us all to order AND purchase this book in any country, MANY THX. X
Looking at the book..every country has a different publisher. Which country you in?
posted
Be careful of reading a book to fix your problems -- my ex thought it would be really cool to pick me up and throw me on the floor. He couldn't understand why I left, and sent this book to me on Forgiveness. I told him to go to hell and I never looked back. Never been happier-- traveling, and started a business. Why is Beth so hellbent on teaching him a lesson, that's really immature. If a man doesn't want you move on ... have some pride instead of getting even. Be the bigger person
posted 
. And then the next day say's I LOVE YOU 
. How do i make him pay for being a lil turd to me ? I'd smack him in the head but i dont believe in physical abuse . Although i think it might help him . 
The stress this man put's me through . I love him so much i think he needs a good lession for this one . Anyone got any ideals ? How would you make him grovel ?
