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how to legally marry a married man in Egypt?
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[QUOTE]Originally posted by AnotherNewMember: [QB] [QUOTE]Originally posted by katrina: [b] Thanks Penny. thanks also for giving a perspective of people from Egypt. In general (of course, not addressed to you Penny <IMG SRC="http://www.egyptsearch.com/forums/smile.gif">), I personally do not approve and do not understand how women can accept relationships with married men for the following reasons: 1. When women enter these relationships, do they think how they hurt wives and their children just for the heck of it in a relationship that maybe simply a fling? 2. How does it feel to be a secret as for sure married men who have affairs keep their mistresses in secret from every possible aspect in their lives (family, work, friends (who can be collaborators, I suppose)? Doesn't it feel humiliating and insulting enough to reject a possibility of being an affair ever in a life of any man? 3. How do these women face themselves every day? Do women stop to think about their choices and actions in life, impact on others and first of all their own code of behaviour and rules that govern their actions? Once one crosses a certain bar and lose something in herself, it is so much harder to pick it up 4. How does it feel to have an uncertain position and a possibility of being told:"Sorry, I have a wife and children. I had a good time. Bye". Well, good thing if it is actually being told. Would not one feel used/abused/played with grossly? 5. I also do not understand the first wife's position. How can she be in this relationship and accept marriage to two adn not to agree to a divorce and accept staying in this relationship based on financial situation? For this man creature.. tough. You want to marry again, then suck it up, pay whatever it takes to the first wife if he truly loves the other, it is a cost of his decision, otherwise, he wants to have a cake and eat it. Look how convenient. on the other hand, the first wife is quite a rational woman, i'd say, but I DO NOT RESPECT her either even if her primary concern is well-being of kids. I would respected her if she valued herself more than money and said to her husband: "hell with you, go with the wind, I am strong on my own to face life and children do not need a cheating father"... I would work whatever it takes to provide for the kids, and have his father pay for their future and thus take responsibility for his children through enforcing contracts or taking him to court, but I would have never had them raised with a cheat father. It is not good for a boy to see such a role model (worst thing that could happen is for the son to repeat the same path as his father did adn think it is ok and acceptable) and for a girl to grow up insecure and not knwoing what a good man could be. This is a worse consequence in thsi situaiton than a feeling of a betrayl by one's husband and being left alone and behind, etc etc. This type of protection of children, their attitudes, values, life views, code of behaviour are more important than their financial well-being. Life takes and life gives. It never takes away everything. Let father see and visit kids regularly and let them judge for themselves who was right and wrong. [Now I will be given a lecture on social class structure of Egypt, financial marriage agreements, and how what divorce is viewed and how reputation (supposedly "saving dignity" by remaining married and allowing your husband to marry another, which in my view is humiliation not dignity) -- all this is so culturally suffocating to me- NOt willing to listen to it <IMG SRC="http://www.egyptsearch.com/forums/smile.gif">, yet I am aware of such things as I read and heard Egyptians speak about that in real life and on boards. My message is "IT IS ABOUT TIME TO CHANGE" as such attitudes are nothing to be proud of <IMG SRC="http://www.egyptsearch.com/forums/smile.gif">] I am glad to hear Penny, that many people do not think this way in Egypt. I am not even talking about men as I never respected one man who had an affair and never will. If he has guts to face the woman he gave vowes to before, perhaps he may earn some browny points, but the act of deceipt and lies before that - no excuse; it is irrecoverable. I may view life as black or white, but there are certain things I would personally not compromise and would not treat such issues as marriage in relative terms [This message has been edited by katrina (edited 25 October 2004).][/b][/QUOTE] Wow Katrina, you said a mouthful and it sounds like it came from the 'heart' and 'head'. I have the upmost respect for any woman or man with morals and dignity. I don't like to see a woman carrying herself like a whore anymore than I like seeing a man carrying himself like a dog. Thats what happens quite often in Egypt, women go their and lose their moral values, and money may buy them the illusion of love, but once the money runs out, your dignity is hard to recoup. We do have to maintain our morals wherever we go, and not change them to fit the situation. If you wouldn't date a married man in your own country, don't travel half way across the world to do it! There is a difference between respect and adapting, and you can surely respect ones culture without adapting to it. And its true Egyptians are not practicing polygamy to a large extent anymore. In fact several Arab countries have completely banned it. And its sad to watch western women with such low self esteem and values, that they are willing to settle for second for fear of being alone. [/QB][/QUOTE]
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