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[QUOTE]Originally posted by karinfarid: [QB] Dear Lori, pls. accept my aplogies, if I misunderstood. Yet I referred to your statement: "Some cultural things are so ingrained that I can imagine a foreign woman who loves a man with all her heart thinking twice and finally hiding her lack of virginity from her husband." I am with you that logically AND emotionally accepting something may be difficult, but it is possible, and it is the same for all the people in the world, men and women alike, because we all hold on to some values and beliefs precious to us and difficult to be compromised on a personal level. A progressive man will not apply the same rules and standards of his own religious and social background on the foreign woman he is falling in love with. He may very well accept that his Western wife is not a virgin, and live with the idea also,(I want to exclude the man whose morality allows him to have a girlfriend). It would be much easier or no problem at all to accept emotionally if the woman is divorced or widowed, vs. she had a number of boyfriends before. It is a matter of trust and honesty, and something that can be worked out with love, patience and understanding and overcome, there is no general rule that dooms all the relationships and there is no guarrantee that it will work.. that's life! The more important that the man and woman take enough time to get to know each other and think deeply and are sure of their feelings before getting married. Your example confuses me a little, because the kind of devouted Egypt. christian girl I know, would not even contemplate to marry a muslim man, for a lot of reasons we don't have to mention here. But I believe the girl is right, if she is so devoted to her religion that she could not accept her kids being raised as Muslims, she was right to refuse the proposal. However, if she just said exactly that in plain Arabic words to the young man, I'm sure also he would understand. Do you mean because she was thinking about raising her kids secretely as christians could be perceived as a duality? I would like to explain to you the difference of the 2 subjects: Islam allows the Muslim man to marry muslim women and women from the people of the book, as the Koran calls the Christians and Jews honorably, be they widowed, divorced or virgins, yet it is his duty to raise his children as Muslims, there is no way to compromise on this. But I do wonder why nobody has raised the issue from an islamic point of view, that the woman has to be a 'believer', some think that means a devouted christian or jewish woman, some think a believer in God and some just cancel the word 'believer' and stick to the term 'from the people of the book'. What do you guys think about that? peace, Karin PS: thanks Rimo for your nice words! [/QB][/QUOTE]
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