I liked the way you described the cultural traits of Egyptian weddings, and other things.
Would you please tell me what happens at funerals, and why women are not allowed to attend? And also tell me what is the appropiate thing to say to someone that has lost a dear loved one. (In arabic please)
Also I work with a woman that wears black everyday for months, she says it's because she is still mourning. Please expound on this if you can. I'm trying to learn all I can about Egyptian customs, thanks.
posted
yeah hi habiba how are you! in islam, when a person dies, he is supposed to be buried immediatly. so the family just wait until the next prayer, and bury the deceased. so lets say someone died at 10am people would wait until the next prayer which would be the duhr, and meet in a mosque to pray a special prayer for funerals only and then they go to the graveyard to put the dead person to rest. usually the very close members go with the family to the burial "dafna," it is very emotioanl and sad. usually there is something called a "swan," (translation?) which could be done in a mosque, hall, or even below their building in the streets. its usally only attended by the men only. the swan could be done on the day of death, but some people wait until the next day so that they would have time to inform the relatvies and friends, and put the obituary in the newspaper. the obituary could include the picture of the deceased and all the names of the closed relatves and a qurnaic verse, or bible verse and the place where the funeral will be. then for the next three days the family of the deceased recieve mourners who pay their respects in their home. usually turkish coffee with no salt is distributed to the people, although this tradition is dying. usually a sheikh is brought in to read the koran, or a tape with the koran is played. men are expected to wear dark clothes with a black tie. the women are expected to wear black only. this tradition is not in islam, but has become part of tradition. although now that people are becoming more islamic its starting to decrease a little. the close female relatives such as the mother, sister, daughter, wife, usually choose to wear black for a long time, sometimes a year or even a life. there is no islamic support of this, and is in fact considered by some to be unislamic. because as we say in egypt, sadness is in the heart not the clothes. usually if muslim, people distribute the koran, for the mourners to read. 40 days after the funeral, usually the family has a lunch or dinner where close people are invited, and some people also visit the graveyard. there is also nothing islamic about the 40 days, but its a tradition that we inherited from the pharos (i think, correct me if i'm wrong). some people like to do something we call sadaqa gareya which is a some form of charity for the soul of the deceased. it can include getting clothes for orphans, or publishing many kornans with a request on the first page to read the fatha for the deceased. then they are distributed to many people. the fatha is very important in islam, and always when the name of a dead person is mentioned, people will ask you to read the fatha for him. finally for the things to say when you are in a funeral, : al bakeya fe 7ayatek, (may you live a long life) allah yerhamo (may god have mercy on him) shed or shedi(if a woman) 7elek (keep your strength) homa al sabqun wa na7nu al la7kun (they have died and we shall follow)
i hope i helped, and i wish god to protect us inshallah from the loss of a loved one
salam
Posts: 4446 | From: Egyptian in Sydney | Registered: Mar 2005
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My husband just lost his grandfather and left before I even got home from work. I thought it was weird that he didnt wait for me to go along with him. But when I called he said women can't come to funerals, but in the USA spouses stay be eachothers side during times like this. But now that I know it's a cultural thing, it's a lot more understanding why he didnt wait for me. And I was shocked to find out they bury them so quickly, as he just died this morning. Also in the states it could be days before someone is buried.
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HI HABIBA and 7aya: 7aya seems has some good information about some/many subjects ,, only few things I would like to add if she does not mind .. first one .. I think you meant Coffee without SUGAR .. rather than without SALT .. now .. SWAN in calsic arabic , if I am not wrong is the hall in the house ,, as you say SWAN Elmanzel ,, means the big open area of the house.. this some thing you can see and feel in countries like Syria when they have opne area once you walk inside the house. now regarding women not to attend the funeral .. this is nothing to do with islam at all.. as in most if the islamic countries if not all women do attend .. about why they burry him so fast ..islam says .. IKRAM ELAMIET DAFNOH , means the respect for the dead person body is to be burried. As 7aya said .. many of the procdures you can see in funeral has nothing to do with islam.. it is more culture thing.. in some mulsim countries when the husband dies the woman wear WHITE.. and when I used to live in egypt I have seen many familes were doing that .. some were affected by the gulf culture when they used to live there ... You will find muslim and christian habbits in egypt when some one dies are similar ..despite it is not the same religion,,
Posts: 1373 | From: London | Registered: Mar 2004
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quote:Originally posted by Paint Me As I Am: Hi Habiba,
I understand what u are saying about the funerals in USA and how we can attend with ur husband or by ur self/friends to pay ur respects.(Christian Funeral)
Although, i am not sure if when the person is muslim and they perform it islamicaly if the allow the women to attend. ( I think they don't allow that even though we be here in USA)
Its a good question to ask..
Thx 7aya for expounding on the topic..
Salam, Jannah
Hi Jannah, and thanks Mohsen. The reason I asked this question is because I knew it had to be a cultural trait of Egyptians, because women are allowed to attend funerals, as Mohsen said there is nothing islamically preventing it. They are only allowed to mourn for 3 days unless it is their husband. They are not allowed to cry out loud, they must weep silently. And there was nothing that required them to be buried the same day, since it's recommended that all family members be notified, and some may be out of town. I know that some people have a tendency to mix culural traditions with religion, and 7aya explained that most of this has to do with the Egyptian culture, not islam. She said even Christian Egyptians carry out some of the same traditions. I am very curious to know if this goes back to Pharonic times, that part was interesting.
posted
Habiba .. let me add something .. I left it last time.. the traditions varied inside Egypt itself.. between the citices and the countryside ,, and even between the differnt social clases in each reigion.. But things have changed alot in Egypt over the past 30 years or so .. I noticed myself lots of changes in the culture and the habbits every time I vist Egypt ( despite I vist Egypt almsot 3 times a year.. back to your questions about if it was phironic thing.. Egypt has unique charterstic..you will find it very hard to undsrstand .. but any way most of the culture and happits in egypt is mix of many origins.. pheronic , coptic and islamic ,, and you can add o that many other elemnts as turkish .. romans...as you might know that egypt been colonised and aatcked all over the hsitory by differnt nations and never been ruled by an egyptian person since the pherso era .. till 1952 .. if i am not wrong .. so what egypt have done in the past years .. was obserbing all the foregin habbits and confirming new culture and habbits which suits the egyptians .. so you will never be able to say if that was isalmic or coptic or pheros one.. you might need to get a very nice book written in arabic called the seven pliars of the egyptian charcter .. written by a dr MILAD HANA .. by the way he is a christian man , and he is one of the best intellectual egyptian men .. the book is a simple and easy .and wil help you to understand the egyptian people . I am not sure if you can read arabic or not .as the book is in arabic , but you might find a trnalsted copy of it.. good luck
Posts: 1373 | From: London | Registered: Mar 2004
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