In an effort to determine the circumstances during the last 15 seconds before a fatal accidents, "black boxes" were installed in four-wheel drive pick-up trucks.

The auto makers were surprised to find that in 49 of the 50
states, the last words spoken of 61.2 percent of the drivers in fatal crashes were, "Oh, **** !"

quote:

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Originally posted by Corvinous:
The National Transportation Safety Board recently divulged they had covertly funded a project with U.S. auto makers for the past five years.

In an effort to determine the circumstances during the last 15 seconds before a fatal accidents, "black boxes" were installed in four-wheel drive pick-up trucks.

The auto makers were surprised to find that in 49 of the 50
states, the last words spoken of 61.2 percent of the drivers in fatal crashes were, "Oh, **** !"

Only the state of Georgia was different, where the last words spoken of 89.3 percent of the drivers in fatal crashes were, "Hold my beer and watch this!"

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Sure that wasn't a West Virginia joke????

Your dog rides in your truck more than your wife.

You convince your wife that an overnight, out-of-state trip for equipment parts is a vacation.

You wear specific hats to farm sales, livestock auctions, customer appreciation suppers, and vacations.

You have ever had to wash off in the backyard with a garden hose before your wife would let you in the house.

You've never thrown away a 5-gallon bucket.

You have used baling wire to attach a license plate.

You have used a chain saw to remodel your house.

You can remember the fertilizer rate, seed population, herbicide rate and yields on a farm you rented 10
years ago, but cannot recall your wife's birthday.

You have fibbed to a mechanic about how often you greased a piece of equipment.

You have used a velvet leaf plant as toilet paper.

You have driven off the road while examining your neighbors crops.

You have borrowed gravel from the county road to fill potholes in your driveway.

You have buried a dog and cried like a baby.

You have used a tractor front-end loader as scaffolding for roof repairs.

You've used the same knife to make bull calves steers and peel apples.

She goes to his apartment that same day, with the gun in hand. Sure enough, when she opens the door, she finds her boyfriend in the arms of a redhead. She points the gun at her boyfriend at stares him down for a moment. Then, suddenly, she's overcome with grief, so she puts the gun up to the side her head.

Her boyfriend screams, "Honey, don't do it..."

She returns and starts feeding the vending machine full of more coins, and the machine keeps spitting out more cans of soda.

Another person walks up behind the blonde and watches her antics for a few minutes before stopping her, "Do you mind if I have a go?"

Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
Hand Job: $10.00

He checks his wallet for the necessary payment, then he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks to an eager-looking group of men.

"Yes?" she inquires, with a knowing smile, "can I help you?"

"Yep, I was wondering," whispers the man, "are you the one who gives the handjobs?"

"Yes," she purrs, "I am."

Her friend asks, "What's the puzzle of?"

"From the picture on the box, I'd guess it's a tiger," replied the blonde.

The friend obliges, and when he arrives the blonde greets him at the front door and then shows him the puzzle spread out all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then studies the box. Then, he turns to her and says, "I'm afraid that no matter what I do, I'm not going to be able to show you how to assemble these to look like the picture of the tiger on the box."

"Why not?" asks the disappointed blonde.

A nearby policeman approaches her and remarks, "Ma'am, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?"

"Why, officer?" asks the blonde.

"Because your blouse is open and your breast is exposed."

Suddenly, the officer notices that one is still breathing so he approaches her and asks, "Why did you three beautiful girls leap out of that building?"