posted
Help!!! I was about to marry a wonderful egyptian guy (aren't they all), when I found photos of an egyptian girl he is 'engaged' to. He has since told me the whole story and I do believe him. I am older than him by 7 years, and he said he gave into family pressure to become engaged to this girl last august because he wants children (i'm 34, and maybe have fertility problems). He bought 15000 egyptian pounds of gold, they had a party, she was wearing a pale blue and white wedding style dress, and then he left her in egypt and came back to saudi, where we both live. He said that they didn't sign any legal contract and they are not married, only engaged. Is this true? I dont know much about traditional weddings outside cairo (this was Mansoura) He said that he is intending to end the engagement, but it takes time and he has to consider this girls reputation (she is from Al Mansoura). Please help!!!!
Poll Information
This poll contains 1 question(s). 6 user(s) have voted. You may not view the results of this poll without voting.
posted
well one of his 7 names is ahmed, but i've never heard him use it. is this the voice of experience?
Posts: 6 | From: KSA | Registered: Jun 2007
| IP: Logged |
posted
Well, Ahmed is not an uncommon name. But I think the bells and whistles should be going off enough to say I need time to think this over. Step back, take your time. This is not a race so do not run to the marriage office so fast. You do not want to be the meal ticket for his children.
Posts: 156 | From: USA | Registered: May 2007
| IP: Logged |
posted
Yes I agree slow things down until he ends officially the engagement. Take into account that he was dishonest in not telling you that he was already engaged. You found out by yourself. He actually wanted to marry you in Saudi Arabia while being engaged in Egypt? Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
i am british and we met while working in saudi through a mutual friend. he was really open about telling me he has always dreamed of living and working in the uk, but when we actually discussed it, he felt that he could get better work here in saudi. we did plan to marry in saudi, but had problems with witnesses, so we planned to go to egypt in august. but does his engagement actually sound like a wedding.....i believe his story so far appart from this. his mum has met me, and hated me, but has now agreed since my conversion to islam.....
Posts: 6 | From: KSA | Registered: Jun 2007
| IP: Logged |
When did his mother meet you, was it before or after he got engaged? He might just be engaged but who cares, he lied. He hid the truth from you, and do you really want to be a Muslim woman in Saudia living with a man who lied to you already about his life in his home country?
This man does not sound like he's on the up-and-up, run for your life.
Posts: 13440 | Registered: Feb 2006
| IP: Logged |
posted
yeah, turns out she knew. apparently the only way his family would agree to him marrying me was to marry a young egyptian virgin to keep his mum happy. since they now agree to him marrying me, he is trying to get out of the engagement in egypt....which his family now agree to because of all the trouble it has caused.......come to think of it, it does all sound a bit suspect.....he really is a lovely guy though! i sent text messages to his 'financee/wife' to tell her our story, and apparently she doesnt mind and still wants him - popular guy isnt he?
Posts: 6 | From: KSA | Registered: Jun 2007
| IP: Logged |
posted
Egyptians often do have a very elaborate engagement party, with all the women in fancy dresses. The groom presents his fiancée with her shabka, a gift of jewellery (gold necklace, bracelet, and ring) in front of all the family. This signals the public agreement between the families to start the process towards marriage.
The next stage will be signing the contract, which can be several years after the engagement. This time gives the man time to start saving up for their future together. Young men often spend this time outside Egypt so they can get better paid jobs to save up enough money to provide a flat and all the furnishings for it.
The next stage will be the wedding, signalling to everyone that the couple will be moving in together. This occurs after maybe a couple more years. During this time the couple can be alone, but they usually don't consummate the marriage until they move in together, but it permits them to be alone to get their flat ready so they can move into it after the wedding.
If the family and the fiancée are accepting the idea of you, it is because they (and maybe this man too) are expecting that the man will marry you both, and my guess is that they are also expecting that you will be making some financial contribution to their family.
If he hadn't told you about his fiancée and hasn't yet broken his engagement off, my guess is that he never will.
Posts: 4576 | From: Cairo | Registered: Jun 2002
| IP: Logged |
posted
oh osamanda, if you choose to marry a liar, cheater and deceiver then don't expect loyalty, love and respect...
Posts: 1039 | From: Cairo | Registered: Sep 2002
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by osamanda: Help!!! I was about to marry a wonderful egyptian guy (aren't they all), when I found photos of an egyptian girl he is 'engaged' to. He has since told me the whole story and I do believe him. I am older than him by 7 years, and he said he gave into family pressure to become engaged to this girl last august because he wants children (i'm 34, and maybe have fertility problems). He bought 15000 egyptian pounds of gold, they had a party, she was wearing a pale blue and white wedding style dress, and then he left her in egypt and came back to saudi, where we both live. He said that they didn't sign any legal contract and they are not married, only engaged. Is this true? I dont know much about traditional weddings outside cairo (this was Mansoura) He said that he is intending to end the engagement, but it takes time and he has to consider this girls reputation (she is from Al Mansoura). Please help!!!!
posted
I agree with NEWCOMER maybe he and his family are expecting him to marry you both as u are foreign u will pay your own way re; property to live in etc.. and with or without knowing u will be paying for his other wife too. This is why she is so understanding !! If he can withold this info from u what else will he decide not to tell u later on ???? Please don't belittle yourself into becoming the second wife x There are enough men in this world for us all. x If he is telling some truth in the matter allow him to end this engagement then consider your futere together.....But in all honesty if this girl is more than willing now to accept him she will later. .....So don't take his or his mothers word for gospel !!!!!! Good luck xx
Posts: 634 | From: the Moon........... | Registered: Mar 2007
| IP: Logged |
posted
Don't you have more self respect than to marry someone who is already engaged? What kind of person gets engaged and then looks for someone else. He should be dreaming of marrying his betrothed, not playing around with some other woman.
Posts: 1808 | From: USA | Registered: Aug 2006
| IP: Logged |
posted
If you are a modern woman, end that relationship. He lied to you, indicated that you are anyway too old and told you crap about his family situation. These are reasons to leave him anyway but the real problem is that you will never handle his culture and religion. Why do you want to convert? Why would you give up your values, your belief and anything else for a man? Don't you think there are enough other men in the world who will respect you for what and who you are? Not telling you that you have the wrong religion, the wrong age, wrong job, clothes etc.? Wake up and find your soulmate. It's not him.
Posts: 182 | Registered: Jan 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
Yeah I am earning about 3x more than he is, but whats money? Now he has changed his mind about ending the egyptian relationship, and wants to stay engaged to this girl, he wants to marry me now and if I get pregnant he will end that relationship. If I dont get pregnant he will continue with marrying her and wants to keep me too!!!!! Are all egyptian men like this. I would like to think not. Frightening how you can be so wrong about someone though. Thanks to everyone for the comments......really helps actually.
Posts: 6 | From: KSA | Registered: Jun 2007
| IP: Logged |
posted
You exactly know what you have to do at this point, Osamanda, and you know you can do much better than that.
I agree with others here ..... RUN!!!!
Don't worry so much about fertility problems unless you have a history of not becoming pregnant. Do not put yourself under pressure because of this issue and marry hastily someone you don't know very well.
Good luck for the future and I hope you'll be involved in a honest, respectful and loving relationship very soon. Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
oh come ooon wake up girl!!!!! what ever happend to, 'thru rich or poor, thru sickness and health?' so you cant have kids easy...he isnt man enough to stand by you? oh but yea, you women have to stand by that man thru all his crap right?
whatta damn dog...he is great, he is an azzhole and how dare he even contemplate being with another woman..how selfish!!!
and how can he mess her reputation by calling it off with him> has he slept with her? i think it hurts her rep more to have a man who is already taken.
what a piece of sh*t.
Posts: 229 | From: florida | Registered: Apr 2007
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by osamanda: Yeah I am earning about 3x more than he is, but whats money?
Moahahahahaha! What's money? That's the second most important thing for his likes after the visa to the UK.
quote: he wants to marry me now and if I get pregnant he will end that relationship. If I dont get pregnant he will continue with marrying her and wants to keep me too!!!!!
And what if you have a miscarriage or twins?
This is more difficult than the ever changing soccer rules.
quote: Are all egyptian men like this.
All men want sex. And money if possible. All men want sex and money and wish you would get hit by lightning and become a barrel of beer right after they, you know what. All men want sex and money and wish you would get lost right after you know what, but the difference between Egyptian men and Western men is that Egyptian culture tells them it's OK to do what they are doing because women who fall for them deserve all they get.
That blue dress is an engagement dress, but maybe there are other pictures with a white dress that you haven't discovered yet.
Are you that desperate?
P.S. And his name is Osama and yours is Amanda and you live in Jeddah! That's too easy to figure out!
Posts: 8756 | From: Tax-Free Zone | Registered: Jul 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
Most of theEgyptian men are players and good story narrators ..(Most) of them could be Novelist and short stories authors..sometimes they ae pathological liars ..they keep tellin lies till they believe themselves that they are the victim of the family traditions and they are just sweet lambs ..every day in this City Hurghada we hear hundreds and hundreds of these story taking advantage and using the naive European woman ..so cut da bullshit and leave his ass right away ..an advice from an Egyptian..
Posts: 340 | From: hurghada | Registered: Aug 2005
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by real_dude: Most of theEgyptian men are players and good story narrators ..(Most) of them could be Novelist and short stories authors..sometimes they ae pathological liars ..they keep tellin lies till they believe themselves that they are the victim of the family traditions and they are just sweet lambs ..every day in this City Hurghada we hear hundreds and hundreds of these story taking advantage and using the naive European woman ..so cut da bullshit and leave his ass right away ..an advice from an Egyptian..
Gotta RESPECT an honest man.
Posts: 8756 | From: Tax-Free Zone | Registered: Jul 2005
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by real_dude: Most of theEgyptian men are players and good story narrators ..(Most) of them could be Novelist and short stories authors..sometimes they ae pathological liars ..they keep tellin lies till they believe themselves that they are the victim of the family traditions and they are just sweet lambs ..every day in this City Hurghada we hear hundreds and hundreds of these story taking advantage and using the naive European woman ..so cut da bullshit and leave his ass right away ..an advice from an Egyptian..
Some of the Egyptian guys are fags too, like yourself yabn el metnakah ...
Posts: 1167 | From: Homelandless | Registered: May 2006
| IP: Logged |
posted
i am sorry it hurts but its the truth... you better leave him before you come back here in few months asking how you oay for your tickets back to your country ? and if your embasy gonna help you or not ? its the Game and you old enough to realise whats going on....
Posts: 340 | From: hurghada | Registered: Aug 2005
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by MK the Most Interlectual:
quote:Originally posted by osamanda: Yeah I am earning about 3x more than he is, but whats money?
Moahahahahaha! What's money? That's the second most important thing for his likes after the visa to the UK.
quote: he wants to marry me now and if I get pregnant he will end that relationship. If I dont get pregnant he will continue with marrying her and wants to keep me too!!!!!
And what if you have a miscarriage or twins?
This is more difficult than the ever changing soccer rules.
quote: Are all egyptian men like this.
All men want sex. And money if possible. All men want sex and money and wish you would get hit by lightning and become a barrel of beer right after they, you know what. All men want sex and money and wish you would get lost right after you know what, but the difference between Egyptian men and Western men is that Egyptian culture tells them it's OK to do what they are doing because women who fall for them deserve all they get.
That blue dress is an engagement dress, but maybe there are other pictures with a white dress that you haven't discovered yet.
Are you that desperate?
P.S. And his name is Osama and yours is Amanda and you live in Jeddah! That's too easy to figure out!
Sorry, You are sick. Posts: 24 | Registered: May 2007
| IP: Logged |
posted
Well its obvious that i have been taken for a ride now, but this is my 1st experience with an egyptian man, or any arab actually. I really thought I loved him, but people are never who they 1st appear to be are they.
We went to england for a holiday recently, and he was welcomed by my family and friends. He even stood infront of my mum and asked if he could marry me and promised he would make me happy. Lying to me is one thing, but he lied to everyone i think is special as well. From all your comments, i'm begining to think he never intended to marry me. He is very protective of his egyptian fiancee/wife. I've never given him money, but i did pay for the flights to england. I have paid for my wedding dress though, and i'm trying to stay friends as long as it takes to get some of the money back.
Maybe you are an interlectual MK, but my story is not a secret, and wasnt thinking of hiding my id when i signed up, I was just looking for some advise from people with egyptian experience from this forum.
Posts: 6 | From: KSA | Registered: Jun 2007
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by osamanda: Maybe you are an interlectual MK, but my story is not a secret, and wasnt thinking of hiding my id when i signed up, I was just looking for some advise from people with egyptian experience from this forum.
I was just trying to tell you that if you want to stay anonymous, maybe you should change your user-name. Jeddah is very small when it comes to love stories.
Don't stay friends with the bugger.
Posts: 8756 | From: Tax-Free Zone | Registered: Jul 2005
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by real_dude: Most of theEgyptian men are players and good story narrators ..(Most) of them could be Novelist and short stories authors..sometimes they ae pathological liars ..they keep tellin lies till they believe themselves that they are the victim of the family traditions and they are just sweet lambs ..every day in this City Hurghada we hear hundreds and hundreds of these story taking advantage and using the naive European woman ..so cut da bullshit and leave his ass right away ..an advice from an Egyptian..
Could not have said it better myself, especially about the lying part. I ahve met many that lie thorught heir teeth and smile and expect you to still be their "friend" in the end. Its like a game. And then there's the players. As a rule I don't believe everything any egyptian says unless they can prove it. Whatever they say goes in one ear and out the other with a big uh-huh till otherwise proven. Sorry but that is the attitude experience has created possibly for many others too. Someone should start a thread on the worst lies they've experienced while here. I'm sure we'd get a good laugh.
Posts: 9 | From: Cairo, Egypt | Registered: Sep 2006
| IP: Logged |
posted
I am here for Social services ..... any more applications ....please alchemist DONT get off the line ..i see ya tryin to sneak your proposal ...lol ya welcome ya MJ
Posts: 340 | From: hurghada | Registered: Aug 2005
| IP: Logged |
Count yourself very lucky u found this out b4 u married him !!!! Imagine u had married and then u find out about his 'other' wife. Cos my bet is he would have intended to marry her b4 u so that u are no2 and disposable Then what else would he and his family gained from you ?? Green card to UK and more.....Your 1 lucky lady for getting this figured out and seeing the light x I really hope u do see the light and move on and leave his sorry ass PLEASE do yourself the biggest favour and lose this piece of worthless Sh8t xxx Posts: 634 | From: the Moon........... | Registered: Mar 2007
| IP: Logged |
UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!
![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
![[Frown]](frown.gif)
![[Confused]](confused.gif)
He might just be engaged but who cares, he lied. He hid the truth from you, and do you really want to be a Muslim woman in Saudia living with a man who lied to you already about his life in his home country? 
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
![[Wink]](wink.gif)
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
![[Cool]](cool.gif)
Printer-friendly view of this topic