posted
I do not think the Divorce word should discussed anyhow. divorce word only comes when there is no more futur. i am divorced. and i know how painfull it is.
posted
Agreed that it shouldn't be lightly tossed around but if your husband is doing something wrong in your relationship that has you feeling strongly that you'll not be able to live with...TELL HIM...
All men, from any corner of the globe, often don't "get" the severity of a problem until the woman has said "see ya"..
Posts: 407 | From: USA | Registered: Jan 2007
| IP: Logged |
posted
I think the D word should be absolutely forbidden in the house, too many people say it in anger and its not fair on the other, its devastating for your partner to say that, even if they are only saying it in the heat of the moment... and i do think its too esy for people to sit and advise someone else to divorce cos outsiders never know the whole picture and alot of problems can be worked through
Posts: 1017 | From: uk | Registered: Mar 2006
| IP: Logged |
posted
Don't threaten divorce unless you mean it. A family friend of mine did that, moved out of her house in order to *wake up* her husband, to get him to see their troubles. She thought he'd beg her to come back!
He had a party instead and moved his girlfriend in. Posts: 8794 | From: 01-20-09 The End of an Error | Registered: Dec 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
when i said the 'D' word to my ex, he said 'I gave you the best years of my life' I told him 'they were crap you can have them all back' Posts: 15090 | From: http://www.egyptalk.com/forum/ | Registered: Jul 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
I will tell you one thing: Alhamdullilah that a woman has no option of the 3x D word and presto! My short fuse still short. Posts: 2238 | From: Mother Earth | Registered: Jun 2004
| IP: Logged |
All men, from any corner of the globe, often don't "get" the severity of a problem until the woman has said "see ya".. [/QB]
This is true. According to US census stats, out of the 1.x million divorces in 2002, 89% were initiated by the female. Seems like men will suffer (or find work arounds) to the end. Posts: 3595 | From: Moved To Mars. Waiting with shotgun | Registered: Dec 2006
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by Tream Lefty: Don't threaten divorce unless you mean it. A family friend of mine did that, moved out of her house in order to *wake up* her husband, to get him to see their troubles. She thought he'd beg her to come back!
He had a party instead and moved his girlfriend in.
Then she had plenty good reason to move out let alone get divorced.
Trouble with ES and other message boards is that when things get so bad and you are sick and tired of everyone in your life telling you to end the relationship, usernames come here just to be told that they should feel fortunate to have someone in their lives.
If a guy from your own ethnicity and born faith treated you the same way (not towards Snoozin, but other usernames) then you lasses wouldn't put up with it. But if an Egyptian guy treats you with this much contempt and disdain its somehow okay since you can't expect much more from an Egyptian guy.
Remember very few Egyptian guys are willing to marry a westerner or non-Arab foreigners. The ones who are willing to have this stereotype of the average tourist, inexpensive (actually she will pay you to be with her) she will import you, she will put up with any kind of abuse. My ex would ooze over how "greedy" and "demanding" and "materialistic" he considers Egyptian women to be. What Egyptian women expect is no different than what the women of my family recieved from their husbands.
Egyptians truly believe that western men are the most horrid creatures to their wives, girlfriends, mothers, sisters. Otherwise if western men were as great as Egyptian guys why would western women flock to Egypt for something better?
Because Egyptian guys propose the same day you meet, and don't put you under the scrutiny that western men will.
Seriously how many female western usernames on this board have a good relationship with their fathers? With the men in their family? Can remember a healthy, loving and committed relationship with a man from their own background? Seriously if you cannot establish a good relationship with a guy from your own background, then how could you make it work with someone totally alien to you?
Posts: 3168 | From: If you don't like it, don't look or read it! | Registered: Oct 2006
| IP: Logged |
quote:Trouble with ES and other message boards is that when things get so bad and you are sick and tired of everyone in your life telling you to end the relationship, usernames come here just to be told that they should feel fortunate to have someone in their lives.
where?? Mostly they are told get rid, visa seeker, gigolo and various other stuff, mostly by YOU.
quote:If a guy from your own ethnicity and born faith treated you the same way (not towards Snoozin, but other usernames) then you lasses wouldn't put up with it. But if an Egyptian guy treats you with this much contempt and disdain its somehow okay since you can't expect much more from an Egyptian guy.
topic is the word D I V O R C E and here we are again back to Egy man bashing! Other nationalities get divorced too.
quote:Remember very few Egyptian guys are willing to marry a westerner or non-Arab foreigners. The ones who are willing to have this stereotype of the average tourist, inexpensive (actually she will pay you to be with her) she will import you, she will put up with any kind of abuse. My ex would ooze over how "greedy" and "demanding" and "materialistic" he considers Egyptian women to be. What Egyptian women expect is no different than what the women of my family recieved from their husbands.
very few?? they do have a stereotype of western women I agree, same as you are stereotyping all Egy men. They also see western women as less greedy (we marry for LOVE not money, less demanding and more able to share a responsibility, less materialistic etc, but of course this is also generalizing. I dont see it as abuse to share with my husband as he shares with me, i do find it abusive to lump a whole nationality together.
quote:Egyptians truly believe that western men are the most horrid creatures to their wives, girlfriends, mothers, sisters. Otherwise if western men were as great as Egyptian guys why would western women flock to Egypt for something better?
NEWS FLASH Egypt has much more to offer than men, many tourists go to see the sites and NOT in search of a man. There are millions of Egyptian men and other North African men residing in Paris which is a lot nearer for me and anyone else in Europe.
quote:Because Egyptian guys propose the same day you meet, and don't put you under the scrutiny that western men will.
damn i have been done!! mine didnt propose on the first day and I was scrutinized by the family quite a bit
quote:Seriously how many female western usernames on this board have a good relationship with their fathers? With the men in their family? Can remember a healthy, loving and committed relationship with a man from their own background? Seriously if you cannot establish a good relationship with a guy from your own background, then how could you make it work with someone totally alien to you?
I had a great relationship with my father and my mother, I also have a great relationship with my son. I saw in my parents what I wanted a relationship to be like, Alhamdulillah i have found that, he happens to be Egyptian.
Now a reminder this thread was about divorce, from any nationality!!
-------------------- If you don't learn from your mistakes, there's no sense making them. Posts: 15090 | From: http://www.egyptalk.com/forum/ | Registered: Jul 2004
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by Laura: Give it up Ayisha, the brain dead cannot be revived!
And the dead have no expectations of the living, like an obediant wife who will put up with anything just to have a husband.
Some people have standards and expect to be treated with respect, some don't particularly care if they are respected, they just want the "Mrs." before their name and someone to walk all over them.
I could answer all the rants, but that would be like feeding a mad person PCP.
I am so shocked that for people who are supposively moving from one continent to another have so much time for rebutal on these boards.
Posts: 3168 | From: If you don't like it, don't look or read it! | Registered: Oct 2006
| IP: Logged |
posted
I think divorce is probably one of the most painful experiences anyone can go through. I don't know anyone who has been through it who hasn't been permanently changed by the experience.
That said, I am happy that women have the ability to divorce, because as bad as divorce may be, I think staying in a really bad, abusive marriage would be so much worse.
Posts: 8794 | From: 01-20-09 The End of an Error | Registered: Dec 2004
| IP: Logged |
I could answer all the rants, but that would be like feeding a mad person PCP.
the only 'rant' was yours, I answered it
as for time on the net, 2365 posts since Oct 2006 as opposed to 2156 since July 2004?? hhhmm m and aren't you supposed to be moving to Cairo AND studying at the moment?? Posts: 15090 | From: http://www.egyptalk.com/forum/ | Registered: Jul 2004
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by Tream Lefty: I think divorce is probably one of the most painful experiences anyone can go through. I don't know anyone who has been through it who hasn't been permanently changed by the experience.
That said, I am happy that women have the ability to divorce, because as bad as divorce may be, I think staying in a really bad, abusive marriage would be so much worse.
My divorce was hard I suppose. HHhmmmm no it wasnt. It was sooo good to come home and not be wondering what mood he was in today. It was good to not have to be careful what I said or it could set him off. It was great to find who I was again. I stayed in an abusive marriage till my kids were old enough, the youngest was then 17, and I knew they would cope better with it, they did, in fact all 3 asked why the hell I didnt do it sooner It does make you aware what you DO want in a man though. I would never stay in an abusive relationship again, not for anything. I have grown so much since then and no way am I going backwards. I learnt I CAN cope very very well on my own, I learnt that I HAD coped on my own even when married, because he was never 'there' for me anyway.
Posts: 15090 | From: http://www.egyptalk.com/forum/ | Registered: Jul 2004
| IP: Logged |
My mother is an example of someone who has stayed too long. More than 45 years, and it has eroded her personality like a cancer. I don't think she could leave now if she tried. It's very sad and almost too difficult to watch. Posts: 8794 | From: 01-20-09 The End of an Error | Registered: Dec 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
That's extremely sad Tream. I hope you are able to be supportive of her, as difficult as it may be for you also.
Posts: 3291 | From: I DO believe in Karma! | Registered: Apr 2002
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by Tream Lefty: I'm glad Ayisha.
My mother is an example of someone who has stayed too long. More than 45 years, and it has eroded her personality like a cancer. I don't think she could leave now if she tried. It's very sad and almost too difficult to watch.
Thats sad I stuck it 21 years and 'me' had almost totally vanished. The hard part was being alone. It was the first time ever in my life I had been alone. From parents to marriage, kids, all those years, then to just me. I did a lot of thinking, a lot of exploring and some strange activities like abseiling I found 'me' again and now I like my own company and think I am pretty ok I am thankful I had support from family and great friends to help me through it all and I have never for one second regretted divorcing him.
We are friends still and always will be, but now I dont have to have that 'atmosphere' anymore.
Posts: 15090 | From: http://www.egyptalk.com/forum/ | Registered: Jul 2004
| IP: Logged |
UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!
![[Frown]](frown.gif)
![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
![[Cool]](cool.gif)
![[Wink]](wink.gif)
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
Printer-friendly view of this topic