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Originally posted by Shanta Qadeema:
CF - what is 'the truth' though?
Trying to think of an example.. ah - instead of saying "I saw Bloggs kiss Jane on the cheek" would you say "I saw Bloggs and Jane and they were definately more than just good friends?" because you might be from a culture where men and women do not kiss each other on the cheek unless they are in a romantic relationship, whereas Bloggs and Jane might be from a culture where a kiss on the cheek between people of opposite sexes with no implication of a romantic relationship is quite common (like certain parts of the UK for example)?

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Posts: 3809 | From: Paradise | Registered: Mar 2003  |  IP: Logged | 

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Originally posted by Shanta Qadeema:
And slightly related - when I first came to Egypt I had problems with interpreting the behaviour of "well-brought up" muslim males. They will not make eye contact with women or shake hands with women.

With my English hat on, this by passes conscious thought processes and goes straight to the cultural bias that anyone who does not look you in the eye or shake your hand is untrustworthy, shifty, a liar. It took me some time (a) to understand where this feeling was coming from and (b) to try to overcome over 40 years of cultural background to accept that this interpretation of behaviour was incorrect.

In fact, before I left the megacorp I was working for in the UK, I talked to my HR manager about it and said that this was an unconscious cultural bias that we may be bringing in to the recruitment and discipline process - particularly if dealing with people who are from cultures where you should not look your boss in the eye because its disrespectful to do so is interpreted as 'insubordination' and 'disrespect' by English standards.

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I know what scenario you are referring to B

But I think that what we need to do is understand the culture of the country of which we are in. This is hard though because the person or persons we might meet might not be following their own cultural norms. We have to quickly distinguish who are and who are not according to the general consensus.
Also being a foreigner here we are allowed a certain amount of lea way. We are not expected to know straight away the culture of what is deemed respectable or disrespectful straight away.
But that is only temporary.
In time the people who know us will judge us on our behaviour. I mean the locals. The thing about Egypt is the Egyptians will rarely say anything. It is all whispered and inferred, so in fact you would not know anything about what they say or how they feel.

for example

Scenario

Foreign single female sitting in a cafe with 4 male both married and single Egyptian male friends having coffee, joking, chatting, and laughing. No romance involved at all. One guys offers her a cigarette and comments on her new hair do, and she tell him that she bought a new pair of trousers and she stands up to show them the trousers , do a twirl, then sits down again.

One of the men seems to be flirting with her. A slight touch to her hand as she accepts a cigarette from his.

Next table is Mr Omar. 58 year old married Egyptian man who lives in the next block to one of the men she is talking to.
This young man is single . Mr Omar and the guys dad are very good friends. The whole family are friends and neighbours.

What do you think is going through Mr Omars head as he watches and listens to the conversation and then as she gets up and one of the guys goes and she walks down the street with the other 3?

Mr Omar is a traditional Moslem man with 2 teenage daughters unmarried and 2 married sons, very moral man and quite religious. Known by the community as a good man.

Then imagine the exact same scenario in a cafe in Picadilly London. Mr Omar is Mr Murphy Irish Catholic builder.

Posts: 3416 | Registered: Oct 2007  |  IP: Logged | 

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Originally posted by cheekyferret:

In the case of all the scenarios I think all the people outside the people in the cafe having a drink should mind their own business

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Wouldn't life be simpler if everyone could just mind their own business. Gosh don't people have enough to worry about without having to stick their noses in where it's not wanted.

Posts: 3809 | From: Paradise | Registered: Mar 2003  |  IP: Logged | 

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Originally posted by miffmiss:
haha true i did try on a fair few outfits. Ha ha you should see how long it takes me when i am in egypt cos everything i put on is shapless and horrid so it takes 20 outfits and 2 showers to get dressed.

Hence the reason he is an ex

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Posts: 3809 | From: Paradise | Registered: Mar 2003  |  IP: Logged |