Well, I am asking in general about interpersonal relations. You know two people are married to each other or in a stable relationship and one day one of them starts a sexual relationship, long or short term, outside of their union. Some people have sexual encounters even with more partners.

Who is to blame? Does this mean the relationship is weak? Is there a future for both of them? What about keeping it as a secret because the partner would be hurt? So does it mean the cheating partner still loves the other? And why people are cheating?

And who is easier to "go astray" in general - men or women?

I would like to know your opinions about this subject. It happens quite often everywhere in this world.

REASON.

Besides Dolphins, loons and other creatures mate monogamously for life. Loons have been around far longer than other birds.

I can't understand why people are always looking for ways to justify bad behavior.

"God made us capable of sin so were not responsible for our actions."

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Originally posted by sonomod:
and there is a reason why God made man separate from the animal race.

REASON.

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:)) Oh sonomod, no great harm to yourself probably if you believe these things here, but pliiiiz do not multiplicate them in web, others might believe and it is irresponsible!

Reason is nothing specifically human, otherwise the best new human would be your brand new iMac. Reason is just a mechanism for recording and reproduction. The more important thing is that it is fed information by senses and nerve endings. This makes us a little bit more human than machines (though not much above the rest of animals).

Now, if we have a species here stubbornly trying to ignore the up-to-date direct signals she thus receives, e.g. the very intense signals of physical pleasure, the resulting condition of one's complexion and hair... and trying to re-explain them according to an old-old file that has not been compared to the real, changing environment and not been refreshed for ages already... how does this species serve the evolution and development of the mankind then? To me this species looks a dead end for Man.

Indeed we all may choose the way we behave but if we try ignore biology, watch out, there will be a backlash somewhere along the line. nature simply will not allow Man arrogantly think he himself is wiser.

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Originally posted by cairoexpat:
New research reveals a surprising risk factor for extinction: monogamy. Large mammals that live in pairs or have small harems are far more likely to die out than those with big harems.

"In avoiding extinction, it pays to be promiscuous," says Justin Brashares of the University of British Columbia in Vancouver, who presents this work in the June issue of Conservation Biology. "This study is the first to show a strong link between social behavior and risk of extinction in mammals."

Personally I think it’s natural to have more then one partner, after all we are mammals and mammals are not monogamous by nature.

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CairoExpat, i am sure u agree the human race is not facing extinction. Especially the exploding egyptian population!!
but, of course u r right: mongoamy is a tough deal. Biologically unnatural. It is just respected socially. we made it that way.

But we were created also with the consciousness that allows us, even demands of us a higher consciousness, albeit most of the planet does or cannot or will not tap into that which is spirit/soul.

To me, the question becomes what are we here for? Ultimately? Are we here to satisfy our physical selves? Or are we here because our creator (Allah/God/etc) made us in his image and wants us to seek joy that gives him pleasure? Is having multiple physical intimate encounters something that is joyful to the Creator? I don't know. I am not the Creator. From everything I have ever read in the Qu'ran and the Bible I see that being not the case. But I'm human. What do I know. Ultimately.

with best intentions/regards,

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Originally posted by cairoexpat:
Sonomod,if I was to convert and embrace Islam then would it be OK with you if I had multiple partners, as in four? Or is this ritual reserved for those born into Islam only?

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Actually there are strict guidelines for polygamy within Islam. But the people who practice polygamy don't care what those are.

I don't believe in infidelity and I don't believe in polygamy.

I am not a nihilist. I actually do care whether or not I go to heaven.

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Originally posted by cairoexpat:
Sonomod, it was a simple yes or no question, either I can have four or I can’t. Just like the one I asked about Ethiopia, all you had to do was provide the date, and where this elite Egyptian Air Force is that has the capability to fly all those miles too bomb them into submission so you can steal their water. Kind’ a sounds likes Israel and the Golan Heights.

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You asked a question that can be answered in so many ways.

I believe from what I have read that polygamy is only okay if: Your wife is barren, your wife is incapable of intercourse, during war time and many men are dead, widows are married to men with present marriages so they can be taken care of emotionally and financially.

The first two I really don't agree with. There are other ways around this situation besides finding a second wife. Plus looking for another wife is considered infidelity. Definately then you should be meeting with her family first and they will spring the marriage proposal on her. Otherwise it is screwing around. So in general unless it is during the time of war I don't understand how polygamy can be justifiable.

And about the Ethiopian dam what was bombed out in the 1960's I can't find anything with a hyperlink to, but I have been told by Ethiopian classmates and my husband that it did happen. Alot of military manuevers are not openly recorded in history books.

And as of last October I have a new sister-in-law. Her eldest brother is a captain in the Air Force. And yes this seems to be the only part of the Egyptian Military that is modernized. He even had some training in the USA.

And if an American Air Force pilot is able to fly from Utah to Afhganistan or Iraq without stopping along the way to bomb some unfortunate civilians then yes, several hundred miles by planes and pilots of equal training and technicaloglical sophistication it is possible. Do you question the integrity of Egyptian military forces? Do you believe that Egyptians don't have the right to protect water flow that has existed for thousands of years? Is it that you don't mind a practical genocide due to the fact of severage of water, just to promote a zionist's goal of dominance?

And what do you mean about this Israel and Golan Heights thing? My grade school classmate and neighbor's parents were from Golan heights. Israel broke every conceivable treaty and international law to grab Golan Heights. Right now Kenyans, and Ethiopians alike are breaking 6 different treaties and international water right laws in order to do this. Mind you if you read the articles from the hyperlinks you will see that both countries are getting help from Israeli Hydrologists. If these Israeli hydrologist are using monetary aid from Israel, maybe then we would have a excellent arguement over decimating USA funds to Israel. That would make me hapyy.

But whose side are you on? Israel or Egypt?

As to your second response, I don’t see how you can say Ethiopia doesn’t have a right to develop their country using “their” natural resources in order to improve the quality of life for their people. Sonomod, no one abides by the UN rules, including Egypt and every nation on this planet has broken a treaty when it no longer served their interest.

And no I’m not questioning the integrity of the Egyptian Military force. I’m stating that you are missed informed about their capability to project their forces beyond the sovereign boarders of Egypt. They simply do not have the capability, they lake the training, experience, equipment, and support structure to do what you stated. This is not to say that Egypt does not have a fairly good defensive military force, they do. But remember it’s a static one.

And that American pilot did not fly all the way to Afghanistan and Iraq on his own, at least not in an F-16. He had help, lots of help the type of help that Egypt could ask for but would never receive, and why is this? Because of the treaties Egypt has signed with the western and European countries. Course they could break a few dozen treaties, and try it on their own, but as you said Egypt has never started a war, they just end them! Or as you would say only Ethiopia and Israel break treaties not Egypt.

As fare as my reference to Israel and the Golan Heights, It just reminded me of what you said Egypt would do to Ethiopia if it decided to use its water for it’s own people instead of giving it away to Egypt. Egypt would go take it by force! Course a simple solution would be for Egypt to pay a monthly fee. Hell’ that sounds fair to me, what do you think Sonomod? Then Ethiopia could take the money they earn from Egypt and build nuclear power plants instead of hydroelectric ones.

And as fare as whose side I’m on’ it depends on the subject.

- from the beginning the marriage was an economical investment without too many emotions

- one person loves less and gets bored

- there are problems between the partners that result in drifting apart or even being angry to the point of wanting to hurt the other on purpose

- one is a dog (multiple sex partners loving spouses are in 90% INCURABLE, unless they really want it themselves, which is the remaining 10%)

- one of the partners is not sexually satisfied and can't/doesn't know how/does not want to work on this with the other

- one is not attracted to the other from the very beginning (waiting for it to change) or becomes 'disattracted' as the partner gains weight, gets wrinkled, grows claws and scaly tail, starts to sleep hanging head down in the closet, etc.

I think both sexes are similar in percentage of cheating statistics. However, men have a tendency to get bored quicker while women are 'maternally programmed' to keep the relationship at least as long as the kids grow up.

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Originally posted by Alana:
Karah,
Lets not forget sometimes "it's just in the blood"!
As they say one woman or one man is not enough, almost like an addiction. Others just don't care, it's like college boys that never grow up, "I got laid last night", like a competition, plus gratification to say I had "this many" or whatever. Macho men that never grow up, but really are little boys.

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Your point is covered under the 'dog' section of my dissertation.

Very true that some people never grow up and learn to be responsible, met both sexes of that sort but have to admit that the male division is predominant.