posted
to make this story short and sweet .....becoz of illness i couldnt go to egypt to see him after 4 years of knowing him.even thought my plans were all organised.....when i got onto the plane and we were in air....i became very ill and they landed me in next city where i was treated..and could not continue on journey..he claims his family is now angry at him and he is looking a fool and idiot in front of his parents. This im finding hard to believe as it was not his fault. So now he gives me a condition. A month to tell him yes or no if im still coming to egypt other wise i am to forget him... He is a grown man , an educated man....but only child.....why would his parents be angry at him ? surely they r not neive to see it is all my fault for not coming??? hmmmmmmm me thinks he wants rid of me...as my parents never blame me for the faults of others.......what u reckon guys?? he thinks me a liar!!! but i have the proof of my illness ......a little confused about all this.....
Posts: 29 | From: australia | Registered: Aug 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
This is only the start of it. I sent you my email id anyway, so add me and we can chat. Take care.
Posts: 49 | From: adelaide, australia | Registered: Aug 2005
| IP: Logged |
If a man is more concerned that he thinks that he looks a fool in front of his parents because you were too ill to travel than he is about your health, then I would, as Aussiefem indicated, take it as an indication of how he reacts in a difficult situation. If he is giving you an ultimatum now, I would be tempted to call his bluff to see if he really means it. If he does, would you have wanted to live your life under threats like that and if he doesn't well what does that say about him? You don't say how well you have known him over the 4 years, but it sounds like you haven't spent much time with him.
Posts: 4576 | From: Cairo | Registered: Jun 2002
| IP: Logged |
posted
he's the type of person that only thinks the world revolves around him, and one self centered dude... hummm reminds Lobo of someone, and my advice, dump him, just think if your injured in his presence, he will complain, and blame you for everything. Do you really need someone who is bulldozing over YOUR feelings, and trying to make you feel guilty? what a jerk and a$$
Posts: 816 | From: On top of a dog house | Registered: Sep 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
what do you mean after 4 years of knowing him you went to see him in egypt? and what do you mean he's given you a month to come to egypt?
are you saying you knew this person for 4 years and it's the first time you were coming to meet him? are you saying you were moving to egypt after 4 years of knowing him?
i doubt very much it's as one-sided as your post makes it out to be.
4 years for any relationship is a long time. maybe he's had enough of waiting and long-distance romance and he wants to start his life with a partner who is in the same city as him...and this was just the last straw in a long line of incidents.
you can't post something like this and ask for people for opinions when you give no details.
to me, it just sounds like a guy who's fed up with a long-distance relationship and he's saying he's had enough.
Posts: 2182 | Registered: Oct 2002
| IP: Logged |
posted
thanks guys.....i said i would send proof of my illness and all my paper work to prove to him that i was indeed ill....but i feel my word and the love we shared ,this would not need proof.....he is calm now but i feel i am just a bother to him....and yes ur right i need to re think about him....
Posts: 29 | From: australia | Registered: Aug 2005
| IP: Logged |
Did he actually ask you for this proof that you were ill?
Did he accuse you of lying that you got sick on the plane?
Did he think maybe you changed your mind and you just said you got sick at the last minute?
To me, this whole thing sounds like a huge comedy of cultural errors and I'm really surprised at your reactions. After 4 years with someone, you really should not be having cultural misunderstandings someone online can pick up on from your cryptic description of the situation. I could be totally off too, though
If he asked you for proof that you were ill, you guys have serious trust issues. So I don't know how you managed 4 year long-distance relationship.
Furthermore, it's an insult to you.
If he didn't ask you for proof, then you are misunderstanding him and by giving him the proof, you are going to insult HIM.
About his family, again - typical egyptian culture. Your coming was a big deal. Things were planned, the entire 50-100 extended circle of family and friends were notified, etc.
And you don't show up.
So now everyone's asking him...where's your fiance, where's your fiance?
And he says, um, well...she got sick on the plane.
And they say...so when is she coming then?
And he answers...uhm, well, I dunno.
And they shake their heads and ask, how long have you known this girl? Why don't you marry a nice egyptian girl, why are you waiting for this foreigner who doesn't even come to visit you?
That's just one scenario.
Basically, he's looking like an idiot in front of everyone he knows. His family isn't mad AT you, his pride is probably just wounded and instead of soothing it, you're going to insult him further with this proof of illness stuff. And, you're showing him that you just don't get him.
As far as well why doesn't he come to you? OMIGOD, have you been reading how nearly impossible it is to get a visa for an umarried, english-speaking young egyptian man to anywhere in the west?!
I'm sure he would prefer to visit you instead of making you fly all the way out there for him (guy thing)...but he can't! (Insert massive bruise to his ego and dose of helplessness here.)
I think he's just trying to control a situation he's got no control over.
And again, give us a clue as to how much time you two have physically spent in the 4years because your posts make no sense.
Posts: 2182 | Registered: Oct 2002
| IP: Logged |
posted
It's difficult to give you advice as you haven't volunteered any details about the relationship itself. You say that you have known him for 4 years, did you meet up with him during this time or not? Your visit would have meant a great deal to both him & his parents, he doesn't want to lose face (big thing in Egyptian culture) & his parents might just be protective of him. Anyways, it's difficult to put this in context as you haven't said a word about the nature of the relationship & its history. Judging by his extreme reaction I would say that there have been other incidents or he is just fed up with a long-distance relationship.
Posts: 316 | From: Cairo, Egypt | Registered: Jan 2001
| IP: Logged |
posted
i have to agree with exptin egyption families are all into everyone business so of course his intire family knew of your upcoming arrival and im sure everyone is saying where is she why didnt she come did him or his family pay for your ticket? if you were on your way to him im sure his family made some arrangemnts for you and not sure if you know but egypt isnt a cheap place and they go all out with food ect.... so im sure his feelings were hurt his family is all disapointed and of course you feel you were sick so it isnt your fault and your right BUT change it all around he is coming to you you have all your family waiting on him and last min he says cant come .....
Posts: 16 | From: egypt | Registered: Nov 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
I have to agree with Expat. When you tell them you're coming EVERYONE knows about it and waits for you. He's probably very embarrased by all this.
Posts: 2735 | From: my desk | Registered: Jul 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
Expat?? i feel u know the person i am talking about. At no stage did i say i was getting married to him, but u seem to have called me his fiance...all i said in my post without writing a whole love story , a long distance romance.... is that i got sick in flight and i had to cancel the trip....then he gave me a month to think about coming and if i dont then it is finished !!! Yes and i have looked at both sides of the coin....again a culture difference.....my friend and family were disappointed that i did not get to make the full journey but not to the point of calling me a lair! to which he did... the first time of calling me this in our 4years of knowing and understanding many things... And he never asked me for the proof, i said i would scan the doctors report and all the papers i had in regards to the travel........at no stage did he say .its okay i believe u.....at no stage.....so it is easy to judge but harder to accept... At no stage did his family pay for my coming...and if he had the same problems i would understand...no one can know what will happen to them in a second let alone half way on a plane....that is absurd in itself. And by the way expat he is not a young man unless u call a young man 44 years of age.........and no there has been no other incidents....and now as i answer ur comments of which i am most grateful to u all...i have told him i dont think about conditions as it is not me but Allah who decides our fate. So be it...if he chooses to seek another in his village then also so be it...and i wish him great happiness... but i will go to egypt but not on conditions...i will go when i feel the time is right...
Posts: 29 | From: australia | Registered: Aug 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
I think you lied to him and are here trying to sell your rubbish to us in order to justify your own malarkey. You didn't have the ticket, you promised him you would come, and then came up with this High School, "Doctors Note", story to cover your rudeness. I am sure you told him you would come to Egypt, but it is not easy to do. You have to get a visa from the Embassy, a very expensive plane ticket, and when you arrive you have to have accomodation. You only discuss yourself and your horseshit story about the plane having to stop. International flight stopping one town over? Which town? If you were on the plane then surely you have a ticket or voucher to replace the missed flight? Surely you could have cought the plane the next week? Your boss knew you were to be out of work on vacation right? My husband is from Egypt, and we live in the US, where we met, but we travel to Egypt to visit with his family all the time, and frankly your little story smells like a lie. To travel internationally is not so easy as buying a plane ticket. People talk about Egyptian men as being manipulative, but this lonely hearts attention seeking behavior with no truth behind it, damages and marks all western women as stupid.
Posts: 1071 | Registered: Aug 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
Hmmm I'm skeptical, what kind of condition would stop an international flight to land? Sounds a bit odd to me too. I've heard of people having massive heart attacks and eventually landing.....and how old are you? You obviously didn't have a PE or DVT with as short as you actually rode on the plane. So what could it possibly be?? You sound too young to have an ailment terminal enough to land a plane. If you were into this guy you wouldn't be on this site asking advise on how to save your own face.....you would be paying $50.00 and changing your flight date and be gone to Egypt. I have to be honest because I would imagine I would be skepical if hearing that story too. Good luck to you anyway!
Posts: 1063 | From: Oregon | Registered: Jun 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
She is telling the truth. When a person is having health problems, and gets seriously sick during the flight, the airline has to revert the flight and go back to the closest airport to save the passenger.
Dear Karamilla. I am sorry to hear about your current situation. It is very difficult for you to experience health problems and "friendsihp" problems all at the same time. I know that you really really want to meet that "friend" but you can't and you feel guilty about it. If you analyze that "sickness" that took place right when you were on the plane on your way to Egypt, and when you think how, when exactly and why it happened, maybe that's a sign that you should not go. For a reason. Our body can sometimes because of stressful situation chose not to go forward, and you need to respect that. Respect your body and yourself and do not risk your health by flying overseas if you are really not able.
You already know the truth. He doesn't trust you. The "friendship" you are experiencing with him is detoriating. There are several factors severly damaged in your relationship with him ( e.g trust, respect issues). It's hard to talk or even be a friend with someone who questions your integrity and directly is telling you that you have to prove YOUR health condition with a documents from a doctor. You probably wanted to make sure that you are doing the "right thing" so you have decided to ask the question here. You are just confirming what you already know yourself.
It's all up to you. What do YOU want? That's something you need to ask yourself. Do you want him? Are you happy with him? Is he the man whom you can trust? Is he a person you want to hold in good and bad, in sickness and health...? Is he the man you always wanted? Is he someone who assists you in your life journey, who understands you? Is he someone so precious and meaningful who changed your life, who stands on his own, who can hold you, trust you, love you, respect you as a human being, as a woman? If the answer is "no" then keep the dignity and walk away. Your journey with him without trust can not continue.
If I were in your position, I would simply tell him or write him 2 sentences, short, down to the point, something like: "I am really very sorry but I am not sending you ANY DOCUMENTS to prove my case. It hurts me a lot when you don't trust me. Love, "S.S"
Then I would leave everything up to him, and let him decide for himself. Maybe he already had decided. Maybe this friend of yours is not capable of trusting. Maybe it's only you whom he doesn't trust. Regardless, don't send him documents to prove the case. He has to come to that point on his own terms.
posted
Thank u all again for the replies. Wow some of u are very tough...I suffer with asthma and due to anxiety of finally going to the man of 4 years and the first time on a plane, the oxygen was not enough for me...I left the airport in australia near my home town , full of excitment , nervousness, and the over excelerating feeling of knowing at last i am on my way after 4 years. They landed in another city in Australia which was a stopping point anyway to change the plane, but for me this was a stopping point all round. They called the ambulance to come and i was transported to the nearest hosiptal to get the medication i really needed to settle my asthma and was on a drip ....if i go into the finer details of my treatment then i would sound like a Doctor. But according to one COSOMOGIRL! i am a lier.....geezzz...very tough remark cosomgirl. So the plane was not stopped for me..it was the whole situation that happened and at the right place and the right time. Its not hard to get a visa here in Australia to travel to any where in the world , i lost money on this flight ....and yes when i get a clearance from my doctor i will travel to egypt on a ship....yes i need a doctors note cosmogirl........UMM not all western women are stupid , a few maybe ... especially when they remark like u did cosmogirl...wow!!!........He has received by papers and he has now opologised , but he said he was so angry that everything went wrong and he too was waiting with great excitment and to hear the news i couldnt make it to him devastated him as myself. And he said it was anger that he gave me the condition..... he is giving me 2 months condition.......hahaaha........i really appreciate all those that could see the truth in my story ......as i didnt come here to lie to anyone..if u knew me u wouldnt say this. But i dont know any of u either , but i feel many here have real hearts......thanks again guys.......
Posts: 29 | From: australia | Registered: Aug 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
I still think you are full of it, I don't care what your reasons are, to hurt a man you love and then come to the INTERNET to justify doing it and seek validation makes you nothing to me. I have a true heart, and I have a good mind, and I would never ever never discuss the problems of my relationship with strangers in order to make myself feel better. You are't ready for a mature relatinship with an Egyptian man, you are still very much a child by how you act. If you have asthma and were travelling to Egypt you would think you would be smart enough to bring an inhaler, or whatever you take for your problem. Im sure you feel all warm and fuzzy and justified, but I remain Egyptian and unimpressed.
Posts: 1071 | Registered: Aug 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
intelligent ppl can.......its easy when u know how......just like having a penpal and not meeting them in reality ......u seem to have a major problem exptin ...there is many wise old sayings that may help u here: patience is a virtue: what will be will be: except the unexpected:
even if i take 10years to met him i know that it was meant to be....who r we to step in the way of Fate? Cosmo? im not a child im an probably old enough to be ur mother. And u think i am sensless not to take my much needed medication with me??? gee ! give urself some credit for that remark as i do give myself credit for my own......ur not an egyptian nor r u a muslim otherwise u would have not said what u did.....is our lives in the hands of the most gracious cosmos or u have other ideas??..u have a cold heart so dont kid urself......
Posts: 29 | From: australia | Registered: Aug 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
karamilla i don't know what you think my major problem is, but most people tend to chose their partners in life based on chemistry. both intellectual and chemical sparks need to be present.
and while i am not suggesting that you don't know someone you've corresponded with for 4 years, i dare say that you actually don't know him that well.
after all, you misread the situation and his reaction and went to seek advice on the net. and i - a stranger on an internet forum - guessed more correctly than you what could be going on with him.
really, i'm not trying to be mean - but think about that. seriously.
Posts: 2182 | Registered: Oct 2002
| IP: Logged |
posted
yes i was seeking advice and yes u gave it to me and yes i thought about it seriouly. My intentions was to go there and met him after 4 years of knowing him....my intentions were not to go there and marry him. Those intentions come after the meeting . if there was to be any sparks flying in the real world.To think u can go and met some one after knowing them for such a long period and then making arrangements of marriage with out REALLY KNOWING THEM IN REALITY is absurd in itself...... when u want to buy a car ! dont u try it before u buy it?? .........no ur not trying to be mean ... ur just trying to make me out to be a fool.......
Posts: 29 | From: australia | Registered: Aug 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
Karamilla Egyptians don't do the boyfriend/girlfriend thing like we do in Western societies, they get engaged & if things work out they get married and all this happens in a relatively short time span. There is no 'trying out the car before buying it' here, at least not in the way we would do in the West. It's a different set of rules & I have a feeling that you don't have a clue. I can imagine your friend must have hit the roof when he heard that you were not coming after having waited for 4 years. There will be expectations & pressure when you do get to meet him but you have to interpret that from his cultural point of view. You are getting good advice here, it may sound harsh but I think that's because you're not familiar with the culture & the norms governing relationships between men & women in the Arab world.
Posts: 316 | From: Cairo, Egypt | Registered: Jan 2001
| IP: Logged |
posted
Karamilla, your post is entitled "my egyptian man". You write about a 4 year relationship. I didn't speculate whether this was your boyfriend or your fiance - so I don't know where this "marriage before I meet him" thing is from in your post. Perhaps it's because when I commented on people asking him "where's your fiance" in reference to your visit. That was not a speculation on your relationship, that's simply what his friends and his family will refer to you as, since I assume he in turn calls you his "foreign woman." Or something. Because to have a 4 year "girlfriend" in Egypt means only one thing - he doesn't have enough money to be engaged and you're still in school, etc. so you're not "officially" engaged. Yet.
What I was saying is that I cannot fathom even having romantic interest in someone and calling them "my man" when I've never met them.
Posts: 2182 | Registered: Oct 2002
| IP: Logged |
posted
"what is meant to be is meant to be"? I hope his family agrees to wait for your idea of fate, instead of expecting their son to become a man before Allah in a timely manner. Khaled was 28 when we married and that was VERY late for an Egyptian man, even with all of his education, so unless your guy was 14, you are whittling away at his LIFE as a MAN if he is expecting to make you his wife. Expat/Ann are right, in Egyptian culture the decision to commit and marry is made very differently than in Western tradition. (or Aussie as the case may be) K and I were introduced and engaged within a week through mutual Egyptian friends and family. We were married a month later! Fate is for fortune hunters, relationships are WORK and not FAITH AND PATIENCE only. I would never spend 4 years "feeling something out" Only because life is for the LIVING. Also, if you think this man has been sitting in Egypt with the "idea" of your romantic love showing up "sometime" in the future you are truly out of touch with Arabic men. He for sure has an alternative plan set up for himself. I think the reasons behind you aborting the trip at the last minute are closer along the lines of your instinct and self preservation. You ALWAYS have choices, and Arabic Egyptian men are complicated and extraordinary but do NOT play with their emotions lightly, they are unlike men from anywhere else, and should be held higher and more carefully. Only if my husband were in prison would I sit 4 years away from him. You should sit with a REAL counselor and discuss all of this. Not strangers. You weren't given an ultimatum for any other reason than your need to "put up or shut up". He deserves more truth than you've given him, and you've been hiding in Australia behind letters and emails for FOUR YEARS. What are you hiding from him, your age or weight or looks? Why did you need him to swear love for you before you got there, and why was it so important that he TRUST your words about the trip before he ever held your hand? Trust me, Allah is not vested in the concept of men and women being pen pals. The more I think about it, the more I believe you not only have no clue about Arabic ways, but also that you have something you are hiding, and if you can find him faulty BEFORE you arrive in Egypt and reveal your secret then you are off the hook from your lies for 4 years.
LIFE IS FOR THE LIVING!!!! Sit and write love notes, or go LIVE LOVE!
Posts: 1071 | Registered: Aug 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
and are all egyptians equal in their way of thinking cosmos?? i dont think so . I understand the way in which marriages work there and i understand much about there life........again u dont give me credit after 4 years .... i hide nothing....my age nor my weight....what reason is there to hide??? And u are right ...who knows maybe he had a purpose to all this too......why didnt he seek another in the 4 years?? is he hiding something too???....... And if he had alternates cosomo where is his honesty??? shouldnt he have told me before this if he had other alternatives??? come on cosmo......your making things up as u go along. first u accuse me of being a lier ...then im hiding something...whats nexted??? seems to me ur trying to oppress me...isnt working cosmo...as i have nothing to be ashamed of.....seems u have not sat down and read my post with open mind..ur mind has been shut this whole time. im not a child , im older than u , being in ur 30's..give me some credit for common sense....
Posts: 29 | From: australia | Registered: Aug 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
karamilla, i don't want to take anything away from your posts and we all find out just how much auto spellcheck has ruined us when we post on here, but for a nurse and a native english speaker (or at least someone who uses english as their prime means of communication at work), you really need to compose your posts so that they reflect your intellect and education level.
cause omigodpeople i so like feel i'm like talking with a 17year old. this is a forum, not an sms message, u knw?
Posts: 2182 | Registered: Oct 2002
| IP: Logged |
posted
slap my face exptin??? the intelligent sms !!!!! am getting from u is more like a spoilt child. isnt it funny how it went from a plane trip and sickness to everything else!!! hahahahaha......yes right intelligent!!!im 51 years of age......maybe ur 19...and very pious.....dont judge those u do not know...simple...
Posts: 29 | From: australia | Registered: Aug 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
let me form a relationship with u samia...even though we havent met...a relationship between friends....... u just formed a relationship with me by answering my post.....nice to meet u..... Posts: 29 | From: australia | Registered: Aug 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
You are 51, he must be 25. That explains EVERYTHING.
Why didnt he tell you about plan B? Because he wasn't having you move to Egypt so he could take care of you, he was coming to you so that he could leave Egypt. I am sure he wasn't going to move you to his "village". You were plan B honey, you knew it, and you don't need our approval for not going there. Stop being so defensive on stupid things,and get over your need to justify your behavior to strangers. As far as being reliable for each other, you both pretty much suck. Move on, find a nice man down the street, and leave Egypt behind you.
Posts: 1071 | Registered: Aug 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
what is it u cant read cosomogirl?? what havent u read here????? you seem to be hell bent on ur own decision making with my story. I told in my posts he was 44 years of age and that i was going to see him and i got sick during the travel. You reading this ??He has no intention of coming here to my country. He is the only child and he stays with his elderly parents. And as u should know the culture in egypt cosmos, is that family matter before anything else.You reading this with warm heart or ur cold heart??Im not justifying anything here!!! This is an open forum is it not?? Or is it just a forum for cosomogirl to take her pious opinions on something she doesnt think is true and correct??? Since when did i say i was moving to masr?? I was going for visit to met him after 4 years.....comprendo!!!My q was to the forum why was i given a condition after 4 years and why was i called a liar??Now i shouldnt have typed that , coz u are going to come back at me with another one of ur pious answers. Leave egypt behind me??? Never!!!I have read some of ur postings cosmos...Hmmmmm makes me wonder too much about what sort of person u really are...
Posts: 29 | From: australia | Registered: Aug 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
karamilla, really you're 51 years old. i got the impression from what you wrote and how you wrote it that you were in your mid 20s.
if you really can't figure out why an adult man of 44 would be tired of having a "relationship" with his computer and give you an ultimatum, us "pious" younger ones really can't add anything further here.
frankly, my mouth is still dropped upon learning your age.
Posts: 2182 | Registered: Oct 2002
| IP: Logged |
posted
ur older than ur egyptian love and u buy his parents a home wow!! and u cant speak his language?????oh dear what is up with this picture here???COSOMOGIRL!!!........... ana mish fahem???...means i dont understand. Oh and if u wanting something sweet to say to him...enta kol hiaty..ur all my life! Posts: 29 | From: australia | Registered: Aug 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
Actually, karamilla. We went to Egypt to buy a home for us, and to put his ailing mother in to live out her days. Unfortunately we put his Mother in the hospital, where she died on our 7th day in Cairo. We bought our apartment, and sat for the 3 days wake and before we came home, I repeat we BURIED his mother. I can not imagine what my heart would carry as a burden if we hadn't been there, and ready to carry her final days with ease. We are partners in everything and we live fearlessly together. Try to control your envy.
This isn't a competition to see who loves best, this is your getting upset when I call you stupid.
There was another woman posting about her 44 year old bachelor fiancee' here online. Wonder how accurate your view really is. I don't speak with a cold heart to you, but I will say I DESPISE stupid women.
My relationship has happened in person, with all of the regular doubts that new relationships go through, but there was never any guessing about who we were, nor would I have brought my insecurity to this forum, just questions and advice. I am LUCKY and loved and comfortable knowing I will never need to wait 4 years and an Intercontinental flight just to take a CHANCE on being loved reciprocally. We are both looking to each other with honest, humble, and true eyes.
I wish for you the same. Until then, you will never change my opinion by using defensive behavior. Your words about him are NOT loving, and your eagerness to get the "crowd" to back your argument up about not flying to him is pathetic. Own yourself, and move on. Try to stop being so stupid. Life is for living.
Posts: 1071 | Registered: Aug 2005
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by Cosmogirl: but I will say I DESPISE stupid women.
Why so much hatred for people who are not that smart? Why expend the energy to hate? To me this is like hating a person born with no legs because they get around too slowly....
Pity might be more appropriate.
Posts: 8794 | From: 01-20-09 The End of an Error | Registered: Dec 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
again cosmogirl u have problems in ur communication with me. Again u dont read what is written. But this to and fro with words with u is becoming boring . Who is trying to be self righteous here cosomo> u or me. The answer is with u . I feel cosomo has been born with anger in here heart towards western ppl, but that is her problem not mine. I love all ppl. Stupid or intelligent, legless or whatever God has created. But to submit myself everytime to a women that is too blind to see words is just beyond my comprehension...... I am happy u have found the love of ur life cosmo..so very happy for u . But some in life dont find that knight in shinning armour. As for me going to the love of my life in egypt??? well again u interept what u want. I said i had know this man for 4 years..did i at any stage say he was the love of my life?? YOUR HONOUR!!!!
Posts: 29 | From: australia | Registered: Aug 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
Karamilla, Just take a step back and breathe. Remember that YOU came here asking for advice. This may be a tough wake up call for you but it is what it is. I know it's not what you wanted to hear, but really what did you expect? Throughout your posts you sound like you're trying to justify yourself and your actions. Your age is irrelvant other than those years lived give you wisdom. Use it!! What are you scared of? If he's not a possible love of your life then what are you doing with him? I'm not saying knight in shining armour but a real genuine love. You've known him for 4 years and this is a huge step you were about to take. You sound afraid to me which makes me wonder if you haven't been completely honest with him or yourself, and most likely both ways. You blame your asthma and anxiety, but those are merely excuses or your bodys autonomic respose of telling you emotionally something is not right. Listen to yourself, what do you want with this man? Emotional pain will not kill you, you just wish it did. Good luck! Posts: 1063 | From: Oregon | Registered: Jun 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
More important, what do you want to hear that nobody is telling you? You have a network of people who know about your friendship and your ruined travel plans, right? You can't tell me that the ONLY people you have to run this past are strangers here, strangers you seem hellbent on shouting down. You don't agree with a poster, and you go farther and farther away from your core issue with all the chest thumping. SO I am guessing all of your friends think you are crazy, and your family isn't supportive, or maybe he is a secret to them? A secret friend? Somewhere you want to hear some words, and obviously they haven't been said yet. Why not change the radio dial, and actually listen for the tune you are being played here. Lots of supportive and firm people, just the right tone for someone who is opperating like a Little Girl, many parents in etherspace.
I do agree with you about one thing, a 44 year old bachelor who lives with his parents and chats for years on the internet is someone I would only call "friend".
Posts: 31 | From: US | Registered: Nov 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
OMG! it just gets worse...the only one who has given me any sort of real advice is sharon stone and i than her for her kindness and her thoughts . The rest are just biased and judgemental.... Some said i was vague in my question about why he gave me a condition. Well im pleased i was vague about the 4 years of knowing him. If i had given full details i couldnt imagine what the end result from all u biased ppl would be... let me put it in a nutshell for u .... Met him on the net 4 years ago , talked and talked about cultures and family and he talked to my family and so on and so on. we shared birthdays of his family and he shared birthdays of mine. He shared the ramadan period with me and much much more. Phone calls, letters, cam to cam .....You can have an honest relationship here on the net without the words of love and the occasional cyber thingy.Not all is focused on these 2 things. Plans were made for my trip to come and see egypt and to met him and his family. The plans were stopped becoz of illness.Unforeseen things. And i felt his anger, and then he came me a condtion to either come within one month or the relatioship is finished. I wanted to know WHY? did he give me condition after 4 years???........is there something im missing here???? And if he choices to stay and look after his parents who rared and love him dearly , what is wrong with that???? Posts: 29 | From: australia | Registered: Aug 2005
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by karamilla: And now i get someone who believe in the horoscopes....
LOL! I don't believe in horoscopes. I believe to a very short extent in our sign. Besides, I'm not the 51 year old here faking illness and whining about some guy!! Remember this is about you again. You're 51? Why don't you act or speak like one. Maturity didn't come with age for you did it?! Only sarcasm and bitterness. Your guy is fed up waiting for you so he wants all or nothing. Don't you get it? Duh! Everyone here can see it except you, hence he's tired of waiting for you. You can't see that because you don't want to. So what are you waiting for......oh I know someone to agree with you. You run around the subject and all you seem to want to do here is pick fights. You don't take a single word from here and give it any thought. It's like speaking to a brick wall except the walls at least more stable than you. You're not here for advice, you're here for approval of your actions so you can save face. Wake up and get on with it. You know why you hate all of us, because we're right!!
Posts: 1063 | From: Oregon | Registered: Jun 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
troll?? what is a troll someone who hides under a bridge??? looool....well......amazing that one has to act there age becoz someone thinks i should? duh! Age is only in numbers...the rest is who u are !! And again u class him as my man?? maybe i should have just said this egyptain has given me a condition.... what is it here? is my post to hard to read????
Posts: 29 | From: australia | Registered: Aug 2005
| IP: Logged |
I say I despise stupid women but really it is pity. I was just frustrated by the sound of the argument. This person doesn't need advice, and is a waste of bandwidth and any more of my time.
Posts: 1071 | Registered: Aug 2005
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by karamilla: OMG! it just gets worse...the only one who has given me any sort of real advice is sharon stone and i than her for her kindness and her thoughts . The rest are just biased and judgemental.... Some said i was vague in my question about why he gave me a condition. Well im pleased i was vague about the 4 years of knowing him. If i had given full details i couldnt imagine what the end result from all u biased ppl would be... let me put it in a nutshell for u .... Met him on the net 4 years ago , talked and talked about cultures and family and he talked to my family and so on and so on. we shared birthdays of his family and he shared birthdays of mine. He shared the ramadan period with me and much much more. Phone calls, letters, cam to cam .....You can have an honest relationship here on the net without the words of love and the occasional cyber thingy.Not all is focused on these 2 things. Plans were made for my trip to come and see egypt and to met him and his family. The plans were stopped becoz of illness.Unforeseen things. And i felt his anger, and then he came me a condtion to either come within one month or the relatioship is finished. I wanted to know WHY? did he give me condition after 4 years???........is there something im missing here???? And if he choices to stay and look after his parents who rared and love him dearly , what is wrong with that????
Sure, Sharon is the only one here telling you what you like to hear & the rest of us sound too much like a reality check. I can't believe you are 51, you come across as being 20 years old & very immature indeed! And you know very little of Egyptian culture & relationships between men & women in this part of the world. What a waste of space!
Posts: 316 | From: Cairo, Egypt | Registered: Jan 2001
| IP: Logged |
I say I despise stupid women but really it is pity. I was just frustrated by the sound of the argument. This person doesn't need advice, and is a waste of bandwidth and any more of my time.
I agree you definitely cannot change certain people's minds and others don't seem to learn from their own mistakes, let alone the mistakes of others. And it can be *very* frustrating at times.
Your wording just seemed unduly harsh to me, but that's the risk we all take writing on the internet. Thanks for explaining. Posts: 8794 | From: 01-20-09 The End of an Error | Registered: Dec 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
no sharon was the only one that could see the truth.... the rest just judged...and u say im immature..... Posts: 29 | From: australia | Registered: Aug 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
and why is that, because she called it your "sickness" and your "friendship"?
putting something in quotes means it let's-just-call-it-that-even-though-that's-not-what-it-is.
look, why don't you just stop posting on this thread and stick to spamming sharon stone's inbox with your thoughts, since now the rest of our replies are worthless to you. (you're welcome for my time.)
by the way, you shouldn't come to a public forum and request strangers to give you their opinion on a topic you start entitled "my egyptian man gave me a condition" unless you can accept criticism and are willing to read replies with an open mind.
it's obvious you can't do either and you just managed to waste a lot of helpful people's time.
Posts: 2182 | Registered: Oct 2002
| IP: Logged |
posted
I'm sorry, call it Brit humour, but I just read the title and decided her egyptian man gave her an std. "my egyptian man gave me a condition"... ??????? I thought she meant a medical condition... duh!
Posts: 1196 | From: www.spiritofthenile.com | Registered: Jun 2002
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by Shareen: I'm sorry, call it Brit humour, but I just read the title and decided her egyptian man gave her an std. "my egyptian man gave me a condition"... ??????? I thought she meant a medical condition... duh!
That is EXACTLY what I thought! (being a Brit!)
Posts: 17 | Registered: Sep 2005
| IP: Logged |
UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
![[Wink]](wink.gif)
![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
wow!! and u cant speak his language?????oh dear what is up with this picture here???COSOMOGIRL!!!...........![[Confused]](confused.gif)
![[Mad]](mad.gif)
![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
Printer-friendly view of this topic