I live in the USA and met a guy from egypt online. All has been going fairly well, we have talked of marriage a few times, but of course weve never met so that seems like a dream. He is honest, and ambitious. Im happy with who he is. Hes thoughtful and caring. And very very very muslim. Im just a beginner in the muslim faith. He has tried to help me alot with this. A few weeks ago we were talking about his upcoming trip to Canada, his plan is to tour and visit and possibly meet me if i can manage the trip. I helped him alot with his plans, and we planned to meet there. Out of the blue, I decided to check with him to see how his parents felt about him meeting me. Ive been so excited about the possibiltiy of meeting someone from egypt who is so nice, and maybe my future spouse. Well, instead of telling me that he had told his parents that he met a nice muslim convert, he says that he cant tell them he met a foreign girl online. He says it would upset them, and that in doing so Allah would not permit him to make his parents upset. I was shocked. I spoke with another muslim (from Turkey) who claimed that this man should not have led me to believe that he might marry me. I agree with that, but im more concerned about the parental influence and religion part. The bottom line seemed to be that the Quran does not recognize any other responsibility before a parental obligation, and the parents wishes will always supercede. Am I wrong? Am I wrong to be shocked? What should I have done differently? I think many girls can learn from the responses... Please do respond, I am not that hurt by this, just rather disappointed that it got so far with such illusion to fuel it. He sent cards and always told me he loved me as a wife. I feel ive been lied to. I feel very sick. Replies welcome.
Posts: 9 | From: USA | Registered: Oct 2005
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posted
Hi Jambagirl, I would feel also strange if my daughter would tell me that she fell in love with a guy who's living away half way around the globe. Anyway, she is too young for that but you might understand what I am trying to say. His parents probably would never accept that he meets online a girl and decides to marry her.
I wouldn't put too much weight on his decision to bring the news to his parents, after all you both need to meet in person. I mean its a great chance also to get to know him personally and take it from there. And I am sure he will tell his parents after returning to Egypt that he met a "wonderful muslim convert" while on his trip and that she is the "one". You know Arab families in general are very tight and yes, in many cases the parents have a word to say if they approve someone or not as the future spouse of their child. You really have to see if they like the idea of having a foreign woman as the future wife of their son. It could be, it could be not, maybe they need some time to get used to the idea, maybe they will welcome you with open arms from the beginning. After all I believe they should meet you in person, go to Egypt and introduce yourself (if your relationship blossoms more) and I am sure you will make a really good impression on them. And its definitely in your favor that you began to practise the Muslim faith.
Good luck for the future!
[This message has been edited by Tigerlily (edited 26 October 2005).]
Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
thanks for your reply, yet the question is: Should I even care to go meet someone who cannot be honest to his parents about his life? How can I be a part of this lie. It doesnt seem fair to me that I can discuss meeting him with my family but he cant do the same. C'mon. I think he is just really afraid of being criticized for his own choices, yet, if they are different from "mom and dad's" then they dont count anyway... His parents were against him traveling to Canada, but he has rationalized that opposition by stating" If I am successful there, they will not be upset." Sure, his parents are skeptical of him meeting a stranger. But this stranger is the only person he will know in a strange land. And the Quran says that all people are brothers, so why should he say that mom has a dislike of foreigners and Allah will be upset if he upsets mom... Well mom is being unislamic, if you look at it closely. At this point in time, I dont even want to meet him since he cant be open about who I am with his family. Im not a bad person. In fact I arranged his travel to Canada in the first place. And he cant tell his parents about me. Go figure.
Posts: 9 | From: USA | Registered: Oct 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Jambagirl: thanks for your reply, yet the question is: Should I even care to go meet someone who cannot be honest to his parents about his life? How can I be a part of this lie. It doesnt seem fair to me that I can discuss meeting him with my family but he cant do the same. C'mon. I think he is just really afraid of being criticized for his own choices, yet, if they are different from "mom and dad's" then they dont count anyway... His parents were against him traveling to Canada, but he has rationalized that opposition by stating" If I am successful there, they will not be upset." Sure, his parents are skeptical of him meeting a stranger. But this stranger is the only person he will know in a strange land. And the Quran says that all people are brothers, so why should he say that mom has a dislike of foreigners and Allah will be upset if he upsets mom... Well mom is being unislamic, if you look at it closely. At this point in time, I dont even want to meet him since he cant be open about who I am with his family. Im not a bad person. In fact I arranged his travel to Canada in the first place. And he cant tell his parents about me. Go figure.
He might just find it weird to tell his parents he met someone *online,* not so much the fact that you are *foreign.* Personally, I wouldn't really hold it against him. Don't forget it, but go hang out with him and see what he's really like. Now, if after you two meet, he doesn't tell parents, *then* I'd be very concerned.
Good luck!
Posts: 8794 | From: 01-20-09 The End of an Error | Registered: Dec 2004
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quote:Originally posted by Jambagirl: thanks for your reply, yet the question is: Should I even care to go meet someone who cannot be honest to his parents about his life? How can I be a part of this lie. It doesnt seem fair to me that I can discuss meeting him with my family but he cant do the same. C'mon. I think he is just really afraid of being criticized for his own choices, yet, if they are different from "mom and dad's" then they dont count anyway... His parents were against him traveling to Canada, but he has rationalized that opposition by stating" If I am successful there, they will not be upset." Sure, his parents are skeptical of him meeting a stranger. But this stranger is the only person he will know in a strange land. And the Quran says that all people are brothers, so why should he say that mom has a dislike of foreigners and Allah will be upset if he upsets mom... Well mom is being unislamic, if you look at it closely. At this point in time, I dont even want to meet him since he cant be open about who I am with his family. Im not a bad person. In fact I arranged his travel to Canada in the first place. And he cant tell his parents about me. Go figure.
What will your pen pale do in Canada ,?? I can not really understand that anybody can trust anyone without even ever having met the person and even so less how can you plan to marry somebody you don't absolutely know anything about. Online you can tell and write what
Posts: 523 | From: Finland | Registered: Feb 2004
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quote:Originally posted by Jambagirl: thanks for your reply, yet the question is: Should I even care to go meet someone who cannot be honest to his parents about his life? How can I be a part of this lie. It doesnt seem fair to me that I can discuss meeting him with my family but he cant do the same. C'mon. I think he is just really afraid of being criticized for his own choices, yet, if they are different from "mom and dad's" then they dont count anyway... His parents were against him traveling to Canada, but he has rationalized that opposition by stating" If I am successful there, they will not be upset." Sure, his parents are skeptical of him meeting a stranger. But this stranger is the only person he will know in a strange land. And the Quran says that all people are brothers, so why should he say that mom has a dislike of foreigners and Allah will be upset if he upsets mom... Well mom is being unislamic, if you look at it closely. At this point in time, I dont even want to meet him since he cant be open about who I am with his family. Im not a bad person. In fact I arranged his travel to Canada in the first place. And he cant tell his parents about me. Go figure.
it appears to me that he knows his parents well and knows what they will and will not accept. If you wish to be with him let him do as he needs to do concerning his parents. It sounds that he is trying to do this in a way that his parents will accept you so that you can be together, where as if he tells them you met online they would never allow it and you would have absolutely no chance at all. Please let him do as he knows is best concerning telling his parents if you wish to be with him
Posts: 2410 | From: Indiana, USA | Registered: Mar 2005
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Egyptian men are just like that. Meet him in Canada and see what he is "really" like. You never know who is lying to you by the internet, even if you feel you can trust him. Egyptian men hold many secrets sometimes and after you meet him in person and you still feel he is secretive, confront him and let him know you don't feel comfortable.
By coming to Egypt and meeting his family face to face (if things go well between you two and you want to come), that might help as well.
Most likely, his family already has a "bride" picked out for him and maybe he doesn't even know it yet or perhaps his mother has been pressuring him about getting married and knows some candidates.
Egyptian life is so different than the West and I highly suggest you get to know the real person and his culture before jumping into anything. I am saying this as an American female married to an Egyptian man and have had many years dealing with Egyptian culture and still some things disturb me.
Good Luck!
quote:Originally posted by Jambagirl: Hello to everyone.
I live in the USA and met a guy from egypt online. All has been going fairly well, we have talked of marriage a few times, but of course weve never met so that seems like a dream. He is honest, and ambitious. Im happy with who he is. Hes thoughtful and caring. And very very very muslim. Im just a beginner in the muslim faith. He has tried to help me alot with this. A few weeks ago we were talking about his upcoming trip to Canada, his plan is to tour and visit and possibly meet me if i can manage the trip. I helped him alot with his plans, and we planned to meet there. Out of the blue, I decided to check with him to see how his parents felt about him meeting me. Ive been so excited about the possibiltiy of meeting someone from egypt who is so nice, and maybe my future spouse. Well, instead of telling me that he had told his parents that he met a nice muslim convert, he says that he cant tell them he met a foreign girl online. He says it would upset them, and that in doing so Allah would not permit him to make his parents upset. I was shocked. I spoke with another muslim (from Turkey) who claimed that this man should not have led me to believe that he might marry me. I agree with that, but im more concerned about the parental influence and religion part. The bottom line seemed to be that the Quran does not recognize any other responsibility before a parental obligation, and the parents wishes will always supercede. Am I wrong? Am I wrong to be shocked? What should I have done differently? I think many girls can learn from the responses... Please do respond, I am not that hurt by this, just rather disappointed that it got so far with such illusion to fuel it. He sent cards and always told me he loved me as a wife. I feel ive been lied to. I feel very sick. Replies welcome.
posted
It has nothing to do with Mama's boy. Its culture related. I had big luck with my ex because on day 3 he already "showed" me off to his mother, the father was deceased long time ago. His mom and me became best friends even with language barriers. Unfortunately the relationship with my ex was rocky. Otherwise I couldn't have wished for a better mother-in-law.
Jambagirl, please, don't get too suspicious now about your online relationship. The country where he is coming from clocks just work the other way around. You mentioned in your first post how happy you are with him and that he is so honest, thoughtful and caring.
I think you should give it a shot, meet him and then decide if you really want to commit to this relationship.
Again I hope everything will work out right. Good luck.
Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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I have egyptian husband,who makes things as he likes..He dont use to ask his parents opinions.. And his parents still love him , and he dont have problem with them. My husband respect his parents, and do things,that make them happy. But mostly we are living just our own life..and i like it. I get so easily nervos, if somebody is asking all the time about our things..i need to have privacy,and thanks God, i got it. But i think egyptians are little bit mamas boys.. But i turned my husband to be my boy And i think his mother is little jealous..
Anyway, i hope every mamasboy can choice his own wife...i dont think parents want make their boys unhappy. and only u can know and feel, who is right person for u. ur mother cant know it..she can know who is best housewife, but who is ur love, i think it is most important thing to know.
posted
Oh, puppy, good to see you on here. How does your new home looks so far? When will the construction be completed? Have you been busy with the yard?
You know I tried to explain that these Egyptian guys are not "Mama's boys". That indeed family in Egypt is more tight. Rules are different there. And it doesn't mean that these guys are no "REAL MEN" because they don't go with their own choices.
As you know I am going to be a mother of three boys soon and right know they are so small so sweet I can't even imagine what the future will look like. Its so far away. Of course they are going to be men on day, having girlfriends and at one point will decide to settle down, get married and have a family each of their own.
I am myself will be then a "mother-in-law". And I hope I will make a good one. Funny, this topic reminds me more and more of the latest movie with Jennifer Lopez "monster-in-law". You need to watch that one.
Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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Tigerlily I hope u are fine,and u will get ur 3. sweet boy soon. Our villa is almost ready. But we have problem with our fence..our bigger dog likes runaway, and the fence is not enough high..So we should make new one. Living in this empty area is also boring..no neibhours,no any normal life around u. just workers..and they are making headache for me Posts: 263 | From: Hurghada | Registered: Dec 2004
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quote:Originally posted by puppy: Tigerlily I hope u are fine,and u will get ur 3. sweet boy soon. Our villa is almost ready. But we have problem with our fence..our bigger dog likes runaway, and the fence is not enough high..So we should make new one. Living in this empty area is also boring..no neibhours,no any normal life around u. just workers..and they are making headache for me
ya puppy.... you know where to find your friends if you want to get out for a coffee!!!!
posted
Hi Jambagirl i am Egyptian guy and i am exactly in your case...i have russian friend and i know her from net and i meet her more than one time and i understand why he is like that and why your are like that...i think your wrong and you have to back to this guy first..coz his honest with you ..that he told you everything directly about the parents and so on and you have to know that he is not mammas boy)) as u think no no..here in egypt uauslly all the family are close some than other countries and you have to be glade for that coz after marry it turn to that he be close to his wife.. and about he didn't tell them about your meeting... u know i didn't told my family also that i meet my russian friend and they know her coz of calls and letters and so on but they don't know that i met her so that is not mean that he is mammas boy or that he don't love you but may be he want to chosse the right time to tell them about you coz may be he think that if he told them now may be they will make problem with him coz of a foreign girl and know her by internet so may be they ll think that you lie on him or you are bad girl or or or...so he late telling them to the time which he can prove that you are good girl i am exactly in your case but but at another level coz we already meet and not one time and we become more than any good couple ....but i think if you stop knowing him only for that small reason .. so i think u don't love him or even don't care about him much...i hope i make you get what i mean and you can send me if you want to ask about anything..
Posts: 4 | Registered: Oct 2005
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hi there! i have egyptian hubby as well,and we mrt online first time! We met inreal after that,and im happy from my choise as he is! His family accept me wonderful,his dad even said i have changed all his ideas about european ladies,and im happy from this!He isnt momy`s boy at all,and i love this for sure!He make what he find for good,no matter he respect his family a lot! I see that he was honest with u about his parents,but this isnt a good sign for a relation!I had friend her bf cut their relation coz his parents deny to accept her,but anyway she was divorced and christian!So...dont worry too much,talk open with him,and for God`s sake,meet him first,see if he is the man u imagine! For exmple i was little surprised from my husband in the first meet,thx God in the good way,i mean he looked better than in the camera before,and far more different,more funny and etc,but it could be the opposite and i was ready for it even !In my mind was....well...big deal,im going meet him,if he is nothing from what we talked and i saw since now,ill just spend the time as we r friends,and nothing more!But i will give this chance for us both! For our surprise we liked each other ...after it get know each other more(in the good way)..while respecting all eople there,the customs,religion,and ourself too!Take it easy,talk to him serious,open,and meet,give u both a chance! Good luck,Diana My mail is didi_elsayed83@hotmail.com if u want to talk!
-------------------- "If you judge people, you have no time to love them" Posts: 1134 | From: NoNe oF uR BuSiNeS | Registered: Jul 2004
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samia Thanks. I love to meet u soon. If u are not busy, maybe we can meet before i will go to cairo on 6th of november??
Posts: 263 | From: Hurghada | Registered: Dec 2004
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Alright to be bitchy here I'll put in my two cents.
I have been reading a book called "family in contemporary Egypt," by Andrea Rugh.
Andrea basically says what is there are three types of marriages, "family", "close-Kin" and "Stranger" marriages.
So basically there is 2 more marriages to add on to what Mrs. Rugh studied. The first "Stranger from another land" which means you meet in person in foreign shores, and the second addition to Andrea Rugh's marriage partner option list, "Meet Alien Spouse on internet".
Sorry if you understood the parameters in the first 3 spousal options and how much of a risk "stranger" marriages are, then you might understand the "Alien Spouse from the Internet" option is just too much for the Egyptian culture.
Posts: 5744 | From: Minneapolis, Mn USA | Registered: Mar 2004
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Hi Jambagirl, Just been reading your posts. Many of your problems I have experianced, I am married to an Egyptian (I am English). Dont give up! Meet him, enjoy his county because if you have never been to Egypt it is an experiance you will never forget. I too like you am very ambitious and independant, this sometimes proves to be a problem but if the relationship is real he will accept who you are and how you want to do things. Their culture and traditions are sometimes over our heads but then our ways are very strange to them. Don't feel he is a mummys boy as I am very sure this is not the case, they have a huge amount of respect for their elders and family. I have learnt over the years that the slow approach is the best, it was a very long time before I met my Mother in law, this was not a bad thing as it meant my husband and I got to know each other before I was hurled into the family. The best thing for you to do is visit him in his own country, have a taste of the Egyptian life!!!! Just one more thing, the Egyptian's seem to have there own set of rules and believe me they can change them to suit whatever whenever!!!!
-------------------- SG Posts: 9 | From: england | Registered: Oct 2005
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I hope you have a loving parent around you ,who would be able to bring your brains back...You have created the whole future just by talking online to this egyptian guy....I have read your post and could not belive my eyes...I hope you will be carefull about him.He said ,he loved you as his wife and you gave yourself to him on the plate...I strongly belive that all he wants from you is your passport.... By the way..since he did not tell his parents about you then YOU ARE NOT being taken seriously by him.This is how Arab men operate. Here is his plan: come to The States...brainwash you...blind you with his "love talk"...marry you.. get papers and dump you for a pure,muslim ,EGYPTIAN girl. Wake up!!!!
Posts: 11 | Registered: Nov 2005
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quote:Originally posted by real_one: I hope you have a loving parent around you ,who would be able to bring your brains back...You have created the whole future just by talking online to this egyptian guy....I have read your post and could not belive my eyes...I hope you will be carefull about him.He said ,he loved you as his wife and you gave yourself to him on the plate...I strongly belive that all he wants from you is your passport.... By the way..since he did not tell his parents about you then YOU ARE NOT being taken seriously by him.This is how Arab men operate. Here is his plan: come to The States...brainwash you...blind you with his "love talk"...marry you.. get papers and dump you for a pure,muslim ,EGYPTIAN girl. Wake up!!!!
posted
Thanks real_one, Tigerlily, puppy, crazylobo,and everyone I did not name Ive loosened my grip, the case is closed. Im glad i lost no money or no more time on it.
Last converation, he said a lot of things I think he was afraid to say, while he was arranging travel and getting a lot of my advice and assistance to help him travel. All that time he said how much he loved me and I was a part of him and he wanted to meet me in halal love. He did not want to loose me then. But now, he wants to end it.
he said " i dont want to meet proplems that make us divorced and end our life , one of the big proplem is: how to convience my family that i marry from foregin girl ,may be muslim but she do and live in a bad customes, other proplem also where we will live, u r from usa, and i don't have specific place at this time coz when i go back toe gypt my and i don't have specific place at this time coz when i go back toe gypt my family will not happy ofme , so if i live at usa or canada so that is mean that my relation with my family ended , so my life will be not stable i will feel crazy i think , can't give happiness to my family i just thinked about my self and how to raise good life , andthe life will not be good without family , it will not be complete, that isnormal in usa and many foregin countries for son or daughter to live far when she is 17 years old or less and marry what she want and may be not know her family again, and it is completely different here , i wnat to say many lovely words and express my feelings but i don'twant to do this again...
SO WITH THAT, A 5 MONTH INTERNET AFFAIR,ITS OVER. I HOPE THIS SAGA maybe help somebody. I had to WAKE and say goodbye to even this stupid man, who did not even take the chance to meet me.
Posts: 9 | From: USA | Registered: Oct 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Jambagirl: SO WITH THAT, A 5 MONTH INTERNET AFFAIR,ITS OVER. I HOPE THIS SAGA maybe help somebody. I had to WAKE and say goodbye to even this stupid man, who did not even take the chance to meet me.
I'm sorry it's over because pain is pain. But perhaps this is for the best because it could be much worse if you had married him.
I've known some long-distance internet relationships that resulted in marriage and the couples are *extremely* happy, but in general I think it's a very difficult way to truly get to know someone well enough for marriage.
I wish you the best and who knows? Ending this has probably freed you up to meet your true soul mate. Take good care. Posts: 8794 | From: 01-20-09 The End of an Error | Registered: Dec 2004
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posted
Seems to me that your Egyptian love interest is kinda confused of what he wants. Well, anyway, better now its over than you would put much more into this relationship.
And I can only agree here with Snoozin, the right one is yet to come. Good luck. Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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Sorry about the end of your story...its not always like this,but every bad thing comes for good!The real one is waiting maybe out..in the real life,even in your own country! Wish you good luck with your future,and wish u a lot of happiness! Yes Snooze..our meet was on the internet,and i still wonder sometimes,when we kidding about the way we met...i really wonder how this happened that we really are together now by the most normal way,like we never had a "unreal relation in the beginning"!Anyway now everything is more than real,and i`m completely happy with him,no matter all people who thinks its impossible,Well IT IS POSSIBLE! Crazy but Possible!
-------------------- "If you judge people, you have no time to love them" Posts: 1134 | From: NoNe oF uR BuSiNeS | Registered: Jul 2004
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quote:Originally posted by diana_ivanova: Yes Snooze..our meet was on the internet,and i still wonder sometimes,when we kidding about the way we met...i really wonder how this happened that we really are together now by the most normal way,like we never had a "unreal relation in the beginning"!Anyway now everything is more than real,and i`m completely happy with him,no matter all people who thinks its impossible,Well IT IS POSSIBLE! Crazy but Possible!
I work with a guy who lived in California, but met a woman on the internet who lived here in DC. One coast of the US to the other. He moved here, they got married right away, and they've been married now for 8 years. It happens.
Posts: 8794 | From: 01-20-09 The End of an Error | Registered: Dec 2004
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Yes nice story,i know a lottttt stories like ours,some not such a big distance,it happens from the same country mostly too! Whats written to happen,it will,no matter the people prejudices,i know this for sure!
-------------------- "If you judge people, you have no time to love them" Posts: 1134 | From: NoNe oF uR BuSiNeS | Registered: Jul 2004
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I would be upset too if I were in your shoes. He should have told you about this up front and not filled you with fantasies. I am going to meet the man I met online in December inshallah. We met over a year ago and his family knew about me from the beginning. I will be staying with them when I go so I can get to know them better to see what the future holds for us. I find it strange that he would call you his wife and what not and not even tell his family about you. Also, it was very unfair of him to have you help plan this trip knowing that you thought this would include you in some way. By the way, yes it seems that the parent's wishes supercede everything. I just had a serious talk with M last night about this. In order for us to marry his family has to agree to it which is fine by me. I don't need to have a bad relationship with my inlaws. I hope everything works out for the both of you, inshallah. Keep us posted.
Posts: 2735 | From: my desk | Registered: Jul 2005
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posted
Oops! I should have read on a little further without posting, sorry. I'm sorry to hear things didn't work out. From what he wrote that seems like the best. Men can be so wishy washy, yeesh!
Posts: 2735 | From: my desk | Registered: Jul 2005
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I am sorry for you because you feel so much dissapointment and pain...But I am very happy that you saved yourself from greater misery! I do not want to pass any judgments ...but you remind me of myself when I was younger... you seem to be one of these women ,who love to much....and suffer then the rest of their lives. Take a look at these books and analizy yourself a bit so you will not make future mistakes.And don't just grab on any "pants" but wait for your soulmate. Dr. Connell Cowan & Dr. Melvyn Kinder" SMART WOMEN -FOOLISH CHOICES">FINDING THE RIGHT MEN AND AVOIDING THE OTHERS Susan Forward,PHD"obsessive love" Robin Norwood"Women ,who love too much"
Posts: 11 | Registered: Nov 2005
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posted
Alright I just typed this bugger out. Its only part of the section on this "irrational marriages". Its from the book "Family in Contemporary Egypt" by Andrea Rugh. Chapter 8 "Marriage: Practice" Page 132-133.
Just a snippet, I will try to type up more later, but I am also trying to hypermark a article I am posting on www.egypttpyge.com
Here it is, why its so different and it won't change for you and certainly not overnight. If not in the next century:
Rationality in Marriage Selection
Love vs. Arranged Marriage
It is difficult to see how a system of selections based so heavily on assessment of objective characteristics can work in a process so complicated and open to human idiosyncracies as marriage. And indeed, “irrational” factors do enter the selection process. In many Egyptian contexts the word love is a term invested with connotations of irrationality. And a “love marriage” is considered suspect. It implies that the couple succumbed to personal preference and physical attraction rather than a careful evaluation of personal characteristics.
A social worker, bringing her records up to date, asked her lower-class clients jokingly: “Whom did you marry? Someone from your relatives or your sweetheart?” A reply that the client married a relative implied that she didn’t love her husband; a reply that she married her sweetheart implied an immoral relationship not subject to the checks and balances of arranaged marriages – a “have you stopped beating your wife” question whichever way it is answered.
A university professor, Dr. Zaky Naguib Mahmud, writing in the newspaper Akher Sa’a, presented a view that in its general outlines a relatively well accepted. He says: “love is not the foundation of proper married life, for live is annihilation, one party merging into the other…But marriage is supposed to be primarily for survival, for cooperation between two parties, not for the unification of two souls. Any relationship in which one party loses its identity and is merged into the other is not a social relationship. The family, the raison d’etre of marriage needs sincerity through cooperation.”
Parents, even those who believe it is best for children to choose their own spouses, are uneasy about love matches until they are reassured that the potential spouse meets the criteria they have set for their child’s marriage partner. If there are serious defects most parents can still cut short the relationship, and most children will defer to their parents wishes.
Posts: 5744 | From: Minneapolis, Mn USA | Registered: Mar 2004
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quote:Originally posted by Corvinous: Wonderful quotes indeed!
Well what Andrea Rugh writes is true. And most elites on these egy-boards can't deal with it!
Posts: 5744 | From: Minneapolis, Mn USA | Registered: Mar 2004
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Thank you very much for that article. What a new way to look at "love." As if I havent enough reasons to question "love" that article makes it clearer why lasting love is so rare.
Blessings,
jg
-------------------- Lorraine Posts: 9 | From: USA | Registered: Oct 2005
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Thank you very much for that article. What a new way to look at "love." As if I havent enough reasons to question "love" that article makes it clearer why lasting love is so rare.
Blessings,
jg
Darling it isn't about love its about Harmony and Compatibility.
Those two items will lead to love.
For westerners the progression is in the opposite direction.
If he tells you otherwise he's lying.
Posts: 5744 | From: Minneapolis, Mn USA | Registered: Mar 2004
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quote:Originally posted by real_one: I hope you have a loving parent around you ,who would be able to bring your brains back...You have created the whole future just by talking online to this egyptian guy....I have read your post and could not belive my eyes...I hope you will be carefull about him.He said ,he loved you as his wife and you gave yourself to him on the plate...I strongly belive that all he wants from you is your passport.... By the way..since he did not tell his parents about you then YOU ARE NOT being taken seriously by him.This is how Arab men operate. Here is his plan: come to The States...brainwash you...blind you with his "love talk"...marry you.. get papers and dump you for a pure,muslim ,EGYPTIAN girl. Wake up!!!!
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OUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
that can happen anywhere in the world..
J
My jewish American friend whose ex-wife met a guy on the internet..and forgot about her husband and her two kids and left and met the guy ,did the guy..He moved from Fl to near where she lived...finally divorced my friend and now her internet guy ( who is not Egyptian ) and who did a couple of moves on her 17 years old daughter..is married to someone else..who used to work with her..............Here you have it..a sample of who you can meet on the internet..no nationality or religion.....a lair or a cheater...is a lair and a cheater....it does not matter where is from or how he worships....
Posts: 2691 | Registered: Oct 2005
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quote:Originally posted by real_one: I hope you have a loving parent around you ,who would be able to bring your brains back...You have created the whole future just by talking online to this egyptian guy....I have read your post and could not belive my eyes...I hope you will be carefull about him.He said ,he loved you as his wife and you gave yourself to him on the plate...I strongly belive that all he wants from you is your passport.... By the way..since he did not tell his parents about you then YOU ARE NOT being taken seriously by him.This is how Arab men operate. Here is his plan: come to The States...brainwash you...blind you with his "love talk"...marry you.. get papers and dump you for a pure,muslim ,EGYPTIAN girl. Wake up!!!!
///////////////////////////////////////////
OUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
that can happen anywhere in the world..
J
My jewish American friend whose ex-wife met a guy on the internet..and forgot about her husband and her two kids and left and met the guy ,did the guy..He moved from Fl to near where she lived...finally divorced my friend and now her internet guy ( who is not Egyptian ) and who did a couple of moves on her 17 years old daughter..is married to someone else..who used to work with her..............Here you have it..a sample of who you can meet on the internet..no nationality or religion.....a lair or a cheater...is a lair and a cheater....it does not matter where is from or how he worships....
And naturally this friend is Jewish.
Posts: 5744 | From: Minneapolis, Mn USA | Registered: Mar 2004
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i too met my bf online and he is muslim and he did not tell his mum & dad about me only coz of meeting me online thats the only reason, its hard for ppl to belive that som1 can meet and fall in love with some1 from the net just give him time
bye
Posts: 4 | From: england | Registered: Oct 2005
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posted
It is hard enough to believe in love at all. Complicate that with two DEFINED cultures and somedays it is only that Love feeling that will keep you around long enough to meet in the middle. To have to then further do the whole thing by typing on the internet? Zoiks!
Posts: 31 | From: US | Registered: Nov 2005
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UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!
You know Arab families in general are very tight and yes, in many cases the parents have a word to say if they approve someone or not as the future spouse of their child. You really have to see if they like the idea of having a foreign woman as the future wife of their son. It could be, it could be not, maybe they need some time to get used to the idea, maybe they will welcome you with open arms from the beginning. After all I believe they should meet you in person, go to Egypt and introduce yourself (if your relationship blossoms more) and I am sure you will make a really good impression on them. And its definitely in your favor that you began to practise the Muslim faith.
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or that he don't love you but may be he want to chosse the right time to tell them about you coz may be he think that if he told them now may be they will make problem with him coz of a foreign girl and know her by internet so may be they ll think that you lie on him or you are bad girl or or or...so he late telling them to the time which he can prove that you are good girl 
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But perhaps this is for the best because it could be much worse if you had married him. 
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