I suppose to get married in September in Egypt and I am having second thoughts. My fiance says to me "I excuse you" or "do u understand or understand" and he says it in an authoritive voice. I guess I am getting scared. We have known each other a year. His sayings didn't start until after I said I would marry him. He has even said that things are going to change like I won't be able to chat online anymore because I won't have the time. I just feel things are going to get worse if I marry him. Both of us are divorced with no children. If we marry, we suppose to live in the states. He also told me that I can't go out alone without him and that I can't be late while in the US. Thanks for letting me vent.
Posts: 14 | Registered: Jun 2006
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If this lifestyle change is something that you don't think you can adapt to then plz don't go through with this. Egy men can be very domineering and set in their ways. Don't end up regretting this decision later. Really think about what you're getting yourself into. My husband became more "jealous" after we were married and I had to set him straight. Some can't be set straight.
Posts: 2735 | From: my desk | Registered: Jul 2005
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I too was in your same situation in fact I was suspose to be leaving today however I am staying for alittle while longer because of inner "doubts" and issues that he needs to resolve before we can proceed. Just take the time to think with your head like I did. In the long run I am going to be happy I waited I know it in my heart. Good Luck !
Posts: 68 | From: San Antonio Texas | Registered: Apr 2006
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Why don't you talk to him? Tell him that he seemed such a nice man to you who loved you for what you are but now he is trying to change you, and you don't want it. You want to remain yourself in you're marriage. Why is he doing that? Does he want to impress the neighbours or something? Or is he an emotional not available man you have to stay away from for getting isolated and hurt?
Posts: 1419 | From: Amsterdam, Netherlands | Registered: Aug 2003
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quote:Originally posted by Diamond: Hello everyone,
I suppose to get married in September in Egypt and I am having second thoughts. My fiance says to me "I excuse you" or "do u understand or understand" and he says it in an authoritive voice. I guess I am getting scared. We have known each other a year. His sayings didn't start until after I said I would marry him. He has even said that things are going to change like I won't be able to chat online anymore because I won't have the time. I just feel things are going to get worse if I marry him. Both of us are divorced with no children. If we marry, we suppose to live in the states. He also told me that I can't go out alone without him and that I can't be late while in the US. Thanks for letting me vent.
You are "lucky" that he start with it before marriage.There is still time to decide and talk about everything.Tell him what you feel and that it's not gonna be how he's saying.He thinks that it's his right(as it is in Quran)and you have to obey him,but he's wrong! Tell him that and if he's not gonna agree,kick him out.And if you decide to marry him MAKE postnuptial agreement.
Posts: 979 | From: Another world | Registered: May 2006
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Obsessive men r a pain in the ass for any girl/woman that like or want to feel a little bit of freedom so imagine an obsessive man that have such a cultural/islamic dogma ...and if chating online is forbiden (DUH!!!) try to imagine the other list of NO'S ...nither i or any 1 in here know ur guy ...its all about u,if u think u can bare with it ...great ...alot of women like to follow what their husbands say with no refusal no matter what ...if u cant then dont do it at all...it depends on u in the end
Posts: 420 | From: LALA Land | Registered: Apr 2005
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Marriage is a partnership, he's not your boss to be able to tell you what to do. Tell him you are unhappy with his change of attitude, you're not giving up normal freedoms for him. There are no Egyptian women who don't go out alone, they have to go out at the very least to do the household shopping. Tell him he has to accept your independence if he wants to marry you. Are you going to give up work?
Posts: 1039 | From: Cairo | Registered: Sep 2002
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quote:Originally posted by citizen: Marriage is a partnership, he's not your boss to be able to tell you what to do. Tell him you are unhappy with his change of attitude, you're not giving up normal freedoms for him. There are no Egyptian women who don't go out alone, they have to go out at the very least to do the household shopping. Tell him he has to accept your independence if he wants to marry you. Are you going to give up work?
That maybe true in Cairo but in Upper Egypt many families are still traditional and the women do not go out unless they are with thier husbands, adult son or a brother if diamonds OH is from there then that is how he will expect her to be! She will have to explain that she wasnt brought up that way and she is not prepared to accept it but you may have to give up on some things if you live in Egypt Diamond it's all about give and take!
Posts: 41 | From: UK | Registered: Jan 2006
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just be careful if you have doubts, sit back and get to know him better, the egyptian men are very set in there ways, and very possessive, I have a friend that is not aloud out alone, and if she walks to meet him from work is not aloud to make eye contact with anyone or talk to anyone, he wants her to become a muslim and has even bought her the kuran to read, what seemed to be so romantic has turned out to be a nightmare, you are the only one that can know how you feel deep down, and if you are having doubts now just think very very carefully.
Posts: 42 | From: UK | Registered: May 2006
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Debs,I'm sorry for your friend.Why is she staying with him?I would kick his ass for her. I'm glad that I'm so strong as I am.And noone will tell me what to do and what I can and how I have to walk or look at the others or whatever what is too much fanatic!Just easy and nicely,but not orders!!!
Posts: 979 | From: Another world | Registered: May 2006
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If he comes to USA he will change. He will have to adjust himself. If you are going to live in Egypt, you got to adjust.
Chat online after you are married, is matter of trust and respect. If there is a respect there will not be chatting with other people like you would not like him to chat with ladies after he marries you, however if you chat with your sister, or a family member or someone both of you mutually know, he would be probably reacting in a different way.
He obviously doesn't want you to chat with other men - that's reasonable. I would not want my husband to chat with women over the internet if he can chat with me in person , especially ones I don't know and are not our mutual friends and it's not business related. Why would anyone chat with married people - anyways I do understand why he said that to you. Plus 2 of you met online, probably. He is protective not possesive.
This conflict of life styles is your chance to communicate. If he is stubborn and not willing to understand difference in your culture and you are stubborn and don't understand his, and there is no compromises, you find his ways too difficult, he finds your ways difficult, then 2 of you are probably not a very good match.
Posts: 989 | Registered: Aug 2004
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When he said he doesn't want you to go out alone without any company or him personally - he probably meant while in Egypt. Did you confirm with him, what exactly he meant? Was it for Egypt or USA? Did you ask him, what is the real reason why being alone is a problem? Did you ask him if this has to do with safety or it's just his own preference?
I mean, it looks to me he meant for Egypt. If you are very attractive woman, and 90% of ladies in Egypt are not walking alone, sure he has a reason why would he put you in uncomfortable situation by letting you walk alone knowing that someone can hurt you, and he would be viewed as uncaring husband who was not there to protect.
It's not what he says, it's why he said it. You must ask and make sure that what he is saying make sense to you instead understanding it through western eyes, and getting fearful without full understanding.
Posts: 989 | Registered: Aug 2004
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quote:Originally posted by TexasGirl: I too was in your same situation in fact I was suspose to be leaving today however I am staying for alittle while longer because of inner "doubts" and issues that he needs to resolve before we can proceed. Just take the time to think with your head like I did. In the long run I am going to be happy I waited I know it in my heart. Good Luck !
WOW!! WOW WOW WOW!!
TG, you did have second thoughts..
Well done girl.. Well done.
Posts: 8756 | From: Tax-Free Zone | Registered: Jul 2005
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Oh yea those second and third thoughts were "screaming" at me!! They have been for the past 3 months !! What was so perfect last September has almost turned out to be a nightmare for me !! I had no idea the "ties" that have become involved now and how he can not seem to put them aside for me. I say now I guess you really didn't love me as much as you said you did when we first met! He still say's yes he does that I am the one who has changed NOT him !!
Posts: 68 | From: San Antonio Texas | Registered: Apr 2006
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your in texas....it's not like your in saudi arabia....
I mean in texas ,if he turns out to be a freak, you can just dump him....in saudi arabia you would allready be history.you would'nt even be makeing this post..
what you have to ask yourself is where does God want you to be..
-------------------- The ground at Calvary's Cross is level Posts: 1172 | Registered: Apr 2006
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The biggest thing for me to think about...hasn't been so much those cultural issues of not being able to invite male friends for dinner or meet up alone, but the fact of a having a child together adn being a daughter-which means she will be a muslim...which then also means my very open minded husband will have to enforce a stricter attitude in marriage with her. As a person who believes in equality...the fact that a muslim female cannot marry a christian man...bothered me somewhat...as the opposite certainly can be done. So, think about all of these things..and be prepared in the name of love to accept it all. Afterall, he cannot change for you either.
Posts: 53 | From: Canada | Registered: Jun 2006
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quote:Originally posted by ' Sharon Stone ': When he said he doesn't want you to go out alone without any company or him personally - he probably meant while in Egypt. Did you confirm with him, what exactly he meant? Was it for Egypt or USA?
He probably means everywhere!If is as you said that it's not important what he said but why he said that don't you think she would know that?Or feel why he's saying that?But she doesn't! In my view he will be turn to sadist selfish proprietary bastard!Be careful.
Posts: 979 | From: Another world | Registered: May 2006
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For sure, have second thoughts before marrying him.
If this man comes from a wealthy family, has already traveled abroad, is educated, his dominating attitude will always be a problem, so these second thoughts will avoid you a sad marriage.
If this guy comes from lower class, has never travelled, knows about the West only what he has seen on TV, then his attitude can change with time, he will adjust to a totally different way of thinking and living. If he did mean "not going out alone in the USA", he probably thinks that in this country, you can't walk without being attacked...I'm talking from experience. Some of my friends, who belong to lower classes, were horrified when I told them I enjoyed walking in the woods, from what they are used to see in movies, if you enter woods, you leave them dead...Not joking at all. So all this may only be misconceptions of what living in your country is. I don't know for how long you have been together, but the solution is "communicate". Ask him why he thinks so.
Posts: 531 | Registered: Jan 2006
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If you expect him to understand your way of life and you don't get his, and you don't bother asking questions why he says or thinks so, you and him should not date and marry at all.
If you think that he is like a toy who must accept your way of life and you don't have to learn anything and understand his culture, and he thinks the same of you, than this is indication you don't need a husband and a man who is culturally different, look for a man from your culture instead. He doesn't need you as well.
If he thinks you are his possesion and he doesn't understand your way of your life and makes you follow his but never adjust based on where 2 of you reside, and you do the same thing and force him to act like an American when in fact he is not, then why 2 of you started any relationship whatsoever if you in fact don't like each other that much.
When 2 people are truly in love they do lots of effort to learn about each other culture, and traditions, because they want to better understand each other. They both put an effort into it and they are looking forward to know more. Some even learn each other language and food and music and art and the way how they socialize, BECAUSE they care about each other.
For instance, he obviosuly speaks your language - English while you don't speak his - Arabic. He knows more about your culture than you know about his. So naturally you need to learn more otherwise you are not fair. You need to learn about his culture as much as he about yours. Good luck.
Posts: 989 | Registered: Aug 2004
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Thanks to all that responded. He is from the lower class. He has never traveled out of Egypt. When he says I can't go out alone he means in US and Egypt because he says women do not go out alone. I can go out alone only for work. In regards to being online, he says I can only chat to family. My friends regardless of how long I known them I can not. When it comes to the telephone my family can only call once a week. After work, I come straight home and no stops. He is bilingual. He speaks Arabic and English. He also told me when he is angry and feel like punching me I do not say anything to him until he calms down. In addition he is teaching me arabic language and culture. He says once he can work in the states I will no longer work. I am doing a lot of thinking about this.
Posts: 14 | Registered: Jun 2006
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This is silly, my hubby has never put those kind of restrictions on me out of Egypt. We agreed that in his country I do it his way but in mine I do what ever I like. Before I came out here I would meet up with male friends etc etc. He often would speak to them on the phone and introduce himself. Even here in Egypt it is quite acceptable for me to have drinks with male clients. This happens a lot and is no problem at all. I would never do this with an Egyptian man but non Egyptian is quite acceptable. people here know you have to mix with tourists.
Your fella seems to have a very naive attitude to life in the states, he needs to open up his mind, especially if he is going to work there
As to the punching, get out girl NOW. It is not normal for Egyptian men to punch. Gosh we have had some rows but my hubby has never laid a finger on me. I could advise you to work round the rest but this is a step too far. He is a controlling and violent. You know this now, he has told you. Do you really want a relationship with a man like that.
-------------------- Jane Akshar UK Co-owner of www.flatsinluxor.co.uk Appartments and Tours in Luxor Posts: 2791 | From: www.flatsinluxor.co.uk, Luxor, Egypt | Registered: Jan 2003
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quote:Originally posted by Diamond: Thanks to all that responded. He is from the lower class. He has never traveled out of Egypt. When he says I can't go out alone he means in US and Egypt because he says women do not go out alone. I can go out alone only for work. In regards to being online, he says I can only chat to family. My friends regardless of how long I known them I can not. When it comes to the telephone my family can only call once a week. After work, I come straight home and no stops. He is bilingual. He speaks Arabic and English. He also told me when he is angry and feel like punching me I do not say anything to him until he calms down. In addition he is teaching me arabic language and culture. He says once he can work in the states I will no longer work. I am doing a lot of thinking about this.
That's exactly what I was talking about.He's not gonna change,maybe you should tell him to talk to somebody and get him some help also he needs to know better definition of Quran because he knows sh*t about it.But most important thing:you should forget that he exist and find someone else.
Posts: 979 | From: Another world | Registered: May 2006
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PUNCHING!!! Run a mile, Diamond, or a thousand or two. The man is talking about abusing you before you're married? This man should not marry anyone, Egyptian or foreign. He obviously has a problem with women. He has no repect, let alone love, for you whatsoever. What does he 'excuse' you for anyway? What are you doing that requires excusing?
Talking of restricting your contact with your family BEFORE you're married? It sounds like he's already planning on isolating you from them, which is a well-known sign of mental abuse. This is very unEgyptian. An Egyptian woman is in constant contact with her family all her life.
So we know the man is planning on physical and mental abuse. Why are you still even considering him? It can't be love. Is it possible to love someone who says these things to you?
And whatever people say here, Egyptian women DO go out, they have to. If they're not doing salaried work, they're still looking after homes and kids, parents etc. This all requires a lot of going out, unaccompanied.
Have you met him in real life? If you still want to give it a go, then come and live in Egypt independently. Get a job, get a flat, see what it's like to live in this society. See how he behaves with his family and friends. Don't plunge into this scary situation as a stranger to the culture and country (he may not be able to get a visa for the US for years)
Posts: 1039 | From: Cairo | Registered: Sep 2002
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quote:Originally posted by citizen: PUNCHING!!! Run a mile, Diamond, or a thousand or two. The man is talking about abusing you before you're married? This man should not marry anyone, Egyptian or foreign. He obviously has a problem with women. He has no repect, let alone love, for you whatsoever. What does he 'excuse' you for anyway? What are you doing that requires excusing?
Talking of restricting your contact with your family BEFORE you're married? It sounds like he's already planning on isolating you from them, which is a well-known sign of mental abuse. This is very unEgyptian. An Egyptian woman is in constant contact with her family all her life.
So we know the man is planning on physical and mental abuse. Why are you still even considering him? It can't be love. Is it possible to love someone who says these things to you?
And whatever people say here, Egyptian women DO go out, they have to. If they're not doing salaried work, they're still looking after homes and kids, parents etc. This all requires a lot of going out, unaccompanied.
Have you met him in real life? If you still want to give it a go, then come and live in Egypt independently. Get a job, get a flat, see what it's like to live in this society. See how he behaves with his family and friends. Don't plunge into this scary situation as a stranger to the culture and country (he may not be able to get a visa for the US for years)
posted
Diamond, you have to be greatfull to him, that he told you about himself. You have a choice now. Don't expect him to change. Let him souhgt himself out. He is probably having a problem with anger that he has met before in his life.
Posts: 1419 | From: Amsterdam, Netherlands | Registered: Aug 2003
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Wow, I've just read your post Diamond! I was findind excuses yesterday, thinking it was maybe only a cultural thing... Just run, you deserve much better than this guy. Good luck. El hamdulilleh you started to think BEFORE getting married!
Posts: 531 | Registered: Jan 2006
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quote:Originally posted by Barbapapa: For sure, have second thoughts before marrying him.
If this man comes from a wealthy family, has already traveled abroad, is educated, his dominating attitude will always be a problem, so these second thoughts will avoid you a sad marriage.
If this guy comes from lower class, has never travelled, knows about the West only what he has seen on TV, then his attitude can change with time, he will adjust to a totally different way of thinking and living. If he did mean "not going out alone in the USA", he probably thinks that in this country, you can't walk without being attacked...I'm talking from experience. Some of my friends, who belong to lower classes, were horrified when I told them I enjoyed walking in the woods, from what they are used to see in movies, if you enter woods, you leave them dead...Not joking at all.
come on Barbapapa thats a very wrong comparision ...Dominating have nothing to do with being rich or poor ...its pearsonal and cultural...from the way u set ur example it seemed like u bought some poor guy and gived him a chance to live in a higher standard level than he was so thats why he wont complain ...on the other hand the wealthy educated guy will not obey and will dominate the relation bec he is not amused with what he sees...is that what u mean ??
Posts: 420 | From: LALA Land | Registered: Apr 2005
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I've visited him and his family before. They are a very nice and fun family. He uses "I excuse u" when I don't come online as scheduled or if I am late 10 minutes max.He does question me about my tardiness . I must admit he says he don't want me chatting to friends especially guys because I might meet someone better than him.
Posts: 14 | Registered: Jun 2006
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His family can be a nice but you're not gonna live with his family right?So what is it that you're still staying with this guy?
Posts: 979 | From: Another world | Registered: May 2006
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This is going to sound very harsh, but I have learnt through bitter personal experience of a close relative (and other women I know in similar situations) that you cannot talk someone out of an abusive relationship if they are intent on being in it so you are all wasting your breath.
Diamond will marry him and he will physically beat her until maybe one day he kills her, and all the time she will be convinced it is her fault because it will always be accompanied by a 'now look what you made me do' because you 'spoke to the plumber' 'spoke to a man on the internet' 'a man across the road looked at you funny' etc etc and degenerate into accusations that she is opening her legs for any man (by the way those accusations - almost always untrue are normally made by men who are guiltily cheating on you and are trying to justify it by accusing you of doing what they are really doing).
Sometimes, he may even buy her a bunch of flowers or a soppy card with a satin heart on it or a diamond bracelet and she will be convinced he is going to change. But of course, he never will.
My family spent 12 years trying to talk our relative into seeing sense, but it had to come internally from her. It was like talking to a brick wall. If you managed to turn up within 5 minutes of her getting a beating, she would hate him and be willing to talk about what a b**d he was and involving the police, but within 30 minutes it would be back to all being her fault again. At least in Britain it is possible to contemplate involving the police in domestic violence cases, I expect it is much less common in Egypt.
Diamond - you can see what a dangerous, control freak he is going to be - its nothing to do with being egyptian, its everything to do with being an inadequate male specimen to be found the length and breadth of the globe who uses physical strength and mindgames to push a woman into believing that noone else will ever want them, and they are lucky that the abusing brute pays them any attention at all.
Posts: 5593 | From: Egypt | Registered: Dec 2005
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OMG! Diamond please think this over!! I am afraid for you already because you are still contemplating being with this man. Someone once said on a thread here listen to your gut feeling and if you are seeing red flags now dont ignore them!!!!!!!!
Oldbag I also have had a similar experience with my sister and it not only devastates the person who is getting physically punched but it devastates the WHOLE family who love her and have to stand by helplessly watching. Diamond think about that. The decision you make now will affect not only you but your whole family and lets not talk about your children if you are blessed with any.
Diamond my sister was also told by her husband the same thing before they were married. She chose to believe that he 'would never get to that point in their marriage so it wasnt a big deal'. That was the excuse used everytime she got beat that it was her fault because he told her before they got married there will be times that he feels like punching her and she didnt listen thats why she was laying on the floor bleeding because he told her in advance 'the rules' to follow. He always made it out that she didnt leave him alone long enough until he calmed down.
Cut a long story short. My oldest nephew was put into intense councelling finally at 9 years of age after he seriously tried to choke the life out of a little girl at school. Thank god the teacher on recess duty that day on the field was paying attention. When they asked my nephew why he did such a terrible thing to this little girl his answer was "We were playing house and we were married and she was pretending that she was late for dinner so I showed her that she can never be late for dinner ever ever ever again." I dont think I will ever forget those words out of his mouth as long as I live. The other sad thing is his 7 year old brother was standing there watching, laughing and cheering his older brother on, to teach her a lesson. Praise God because he used the situation for good because it took my sister almost loosing her son to the system to 'wake her up' and get out. To this day, 5 years on, she still beats herself up and blames herself for allowing her children to be so mentally damaged by their father. Also to this day, 5 years on, both of my nephews are still in some form of councelling that deals with violent behaviour towards girls.
I'm sorry this is so long but I am passionate about this as i have experienced first hand the devestation it can cause to families. I wanted you to know this unfortunately could be the reality of life for your children if you decide to ignore this physical threat he has so graciously given you in advance. Dont ignore those second thoughts! Whatever your decision will be I wish all the best for your future. Good luck!
Posts: 87 | From: UK | Registered: May 2006
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Words of wisdom from OldBag. But my big question to all the girls out there is, how can you even stand being in the same room as these men let alone marry them ? This guy sounds mean, abusive, controlling and unstable. How can you feel love for someone who it treating you like s### ? Do you have no self respect and low self esteem issues ? Do you really love this meanie or are you in love with the idea of love ? Just wondering.
Posts: 20 | From: Egypt | Registered: Apr 2006
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From discussions with my relative and reading her diaries, its a really unhealthy form of 'love' or 'lust' absolutely exactly like being on hard drugs (and just out of interest, I wonder if the same parts of the brain are involved - but I'm not psychologist).
A longing, yearning, emptiness that only the 'loved one' can fill. When you are without them, you cannot imagine how you can live your life, loving them is what gives your life meaning and helps stop the dead empty feeling inside despite the fact its killing you (mentally or physically).
The physical beatings or words of abuse at least show you he is thinking about you and that you matter to him somehow. Probably before that you might have lived your life believing that you didn't matter to anyone in any sense.
Posts: 5593 | From: Egypt | Registered: Dec 2005
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quote:Originally posted by oldbag: The physical beatings or words of abuse at least show you he is thinking about you and that you matter to him somehow.
Yes this is true. My sister would state that same concept. She truely believed that her husband really loved her because of his behaviour all be it abusive.
Posts: 87 | From: UK | Registered: May 2006
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also sweet pea, im sorry to hear about your nephew, and i hope he gets the help he needs.
Posts: 5642 | From: hellonearth.myfastforum.org Forum Index | Registered: Feb 2006
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Thanks Charm. He has come a long way and Im so proud of him!
The whole situation has taught each of us a lot of lessons in life. Its very scary to think that one simple decision that you make in life can completely change the destiny of your unborn baby.
I sometimes wonder what my nephews would be like today if they had a father who stood up and showed them how to be a real man??? Unfortuately we will never know because of one simple decision my sister made 2 years before his birth. Food for thought.
Posts: 87 | From: UK | Registered: May 2006
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unfortunately i know all to well... i have a son in therapy too. i wish i had been in a situation where i saw things coming, i didnt have that gift the way you have diamond. think about it.
Posts: 5642 | From: hellonearth.myfastforum.org Forum Index | Registered: Feb 2006
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Diamond has your fiance given you any indication of his attitude towards his future daughter if you happen to have one?
FYI I just thought about this thinking back on my sisters situation. This is another area that maybe you need to investigate as my sisters husband (who sounds a carbon copy of your fiance I am sad to say)always reminded her, everyday in fact, when she was pregnant that if she gave him a daughter that she would need to be 'disiplined like her mother' as he viewed woman/girls as being weak and it was my sister's job to obey him and not to interfere when he would have to do this.
Not trying to scare you. Honest. We are all here to try and educate each other and help each other sometimes think of things that maybe we wouldnt think of ourselves but it might be worth bringing the subject up with him. If he thinks giving you a punch once in a while is alright I would find out what is his mentality towards his daughter might be.
Posts: 87 | From: UK | Registered: May 2006
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I am sure Diamond did not come here to tell us she is going in to an abusive relationship. There must be a reason why she does have second thoughts. There is hope for her!:-) Diamond it is a shame to waste you're life to someone that does not deserve you but it is honourable to brake a promise that will make everyone unhappy, you're future kids not even mentioned yet.
posted
I do appreciate everyone comments. I am still undecided if I am going to marry him or not. I thank Oldbag and Sweet Pea for their comments. After reading what both of you said, I am scared. My significant other states he doesn't want kids because he knows what he is capable of. That was a flag to me also. I've decided to postpone the wedding indefinitely. I'll see what happens when I tell him "I excuse u".
Posts: 14 | Registered: Jun 2006
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inshaa allah all of you are in the best of health and iman.
sisters, i have read the thread and for sure if you are having doubts do not proceed. my fiance and i are the same elhamdulelah and dont like each other to chat or be late home so it is no problem for either of us. however i know with some other women the thoughts are different. i guess the only thing i can tell u is to be patient and wait to meet him first if you didnt already, and to know his family, lifestyle etc. again i want to say you are wise in waiting because marriage is an important thing which u know..i wish everything works for the best for u sisters
quote:Originally posted by Diamond: Thanks to all that responded. He is from the lower class. He has never traveled out of Egypt. When he says I can't go out alone he means in US and Egypt because he says women do not go out alone. I can go out alone only for work. In regards to being online, he says I can only chat to family. My friends regardless of how long I known them I can not. When it comes to the telephone my family can only call once a week. After work, I come straight home and no stops. He is bilingual. He speaks Arabic and English. He also told me when he is angry and feel like punching me I do not say anything to him until he calms down. In addition he is teaching me arabic language and culture. He says once he can work in the states I will no longer work. I am doing a lot of thinking about this.
ahhh sister, forget this guy really..if he doesnt respect God then no way he will respect u
Posts: 26 | From: Australia | Registered: Jul 2006
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Where did she say that he doesn't respect God?And btw this is not true!Somebody just don't believe and doesn't mean that he is a bad person he can be sooo nice.He see being nice in something else not in religion not in God. But of course I wasn't talking about Diamonds man.
Posts: 979 | From: Another world | Registered: May 2006
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Maybe she is just having language issues. When I get irrational and say things that are hurtful, or get angry, K says to me, "I let you do this and I give you your excuse". Meaning he understands why I am like I am and he knows the reason behind it.
Yep, me the shoe gal, and apparantly there is NO excuse for that.
Posts: 1071 | Registered: Aug 2005
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, especially ones I don't know and are not our mutual friends and it's not business related. Why would anyone chat with married people - anyways I do understand why he said that to you. Plus 2 of you met online, probably. He is protective not possesive. ![[Smile]](smile.gif)
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. I must admit he says he don't want me chatting to friends especially guys because I might meet someone better than him.
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