posted
I have been reading about relationships lately (in connection with work believe it or not!) and read the following advice:
Men, finding it hard to keep hold of a women? Behave unpredictably, women love that.
and
Women, finding it hard to keep hold of a man? Behave unpredictably, men love that.
So, is this true? Unpredictable in what way? What you cook for tea? Whether you bother to call when you say you will? What clothes you wear?
What do people mean by this - I'm bemused! What is the difference between predictability and reliability?
Personally, I prefer someone who is reliable - if they say they are going to do something (involving you) they do it, or give you a bloody good reason (and in good time) why not! I do not find unpredicability about those sort of things remotely attractive.
What I do find annoying is a bloke who wants to spend every date doing the same thing - so a bit of unpredictability there would be good.
posted
unpredictable to me would be him saying 'i wont be long' and coming home within 6 hours
-------------------- If you don't learn from your mistakes, there's no sense making them. Posts: 15090 | From: http://www.egyptalk.com/forum/ | Registered: Jul 2004
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posted
I like spontanius(sorry spelling) men, not boring, someone who likes to do thing with me, and shows me a nice time, someone who likes to go to museums, a lovely walk ectg, enjoys nature. I like to make a plan on the moment. And reliable is so important, yes i lived with someone who used to say they would do this and that and it would never happen, this was sooo anoying. To much talk and no action, rubbish.
In some ways i like routine and in others i dont, for example, we dont eat the same stuff on the same day of the week, or do the same things, its nice for a bit of variety.
posted
QS, I think that variety is the spice of life. Too much reliability can lead to familiarity which can ultimately breed contempt.
I think when you know a partner well it is easier to guage their commitment to the relationship, that way you do not get the let downs.
Also I think the odd little surprise can be nice, spontaneity is also a good trait for me in a partner.
Posts: 1917 | From: WALES | Registered: Apr 2007
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posted
I like reliability but i myself am a very spontaneous and impulsive person, so i'd want to jump into the car and go to the beach if the sun peaked out from behind a cloud for 5 seconds (perhaps you have to be this way in Englnd! lol)
I dont like it when people dont want to do things off the cuff, i get a bit bored with everything being the same day in and day out, year to year, that would kill me. life is for living, not doing the same thing over and over.
If a man says he's going to be home in 5 minutes and doesnt turn up for 3 hours, i dont like that, cos i worry they might be lying dead in a ditch, a phone call is not too difficult. If a man thought that was keeping me on my toes it would just p me off.
Posts: 918 | From: Earth | Registered: Jan 2008
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posted
Luckily i havent had a problem with my husband and time keeping, hes pretty much on time, even though he doesnt have to be back times, but he will call iff he has to stay working ect, i like this, someone that is late and dont phone would drive me mental, i would do the same to him, i know for sure iff i didnt call, he would send the search parties out.
posted
That's what bugs me about expecting them to call if they're going to be late or whatever, they think you're being a control freak, but you are worrying yourself stupid that something bad happened OR you could in fact go off and do something else if you know!
So, from what you guys are saying, you mean 'sponteneity' rather than 'unpredicability'. Yes, I can go with that.
What unpredicable behaviour do men find attractive in women do you think?
Posts: 5593 | From: Egypt | Registered: Dec 2005
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posted
ah well it works both ways, he quite likes the unpredictable me rolling in at 2am when hes been in early waiting
-------------------- If you don't learn from your mistakes, there's no sense making them. Posts: 15090 | From: http://www.egyptalk.com/forum/ | Registered: Jul 2004
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quote:Originally posted by Ayisha: unpredictable to me would be him saying 'i wont be long' and coming home within 6 hours
That's normal for me. I have learnt to always add a few more hours on to what is said.... Posts: 643 | From: Over there | Registered: Aug 2007
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posted
well buggy, that particular night I was at a friends dining and sitting by the pool getting eaten by mozzies but being out till 2am is not unusual here, mostly in summer of course, its the coolest time to do your shopping
PC, I am used to it now and I dont worry neither does he if im out till late. Time is odd here, 5 Egyptian minutes can be anything between 30 to 90 minutes English so you always have to ask which timescale they are using. Not just hubby but even taxi drivers, if they say 2 mins always ask Egyptian or English?
Not the same as being in UK at all, I wouldnt be out that late and would be more worried about him out that late too, but in Luxor the streets are busy later rather than ealier.
-------------------- If you don't learn from your mistakes, there's no sense making them. Posts: 15090 | From: http://www.egyptalk.com/forum/ | Registered: Jul 2004
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posted
Being unpredictable and being unreliable are do different things. Basically if the person you are with doesn´t see the difference in what will rub you the wrong way then you don´t understand each other. Unreliability is about responsibility. Unpredictability is about fun.
Posts: 2184 | Registered: Oct 2005
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posted
Agree with Anthropos. Unpredictability can be fascinating, as long as it's positive.But as soon as it has negative effects, it turns into a bad characteristic. I don't see the connection with work and carreer, cause to me it would be quite annoying if I wanted to do my work properly but are not able to do so because my collegue is unpredictable...it shouldn't work, if you ask me...
-------------------- “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.” Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
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quote:Originally posted by ?????: Agree with Anthropos. Unpredictability can be fascinating, as long as it's positive.But as soon as it has negative effects, it turns into a bad characteristic. I don't see the connection with work and carreer, cause to me it would be quite annoying if I wanted to do my work properly but are not able to do so because my collegue is unpredictable...it shouldn't work, if you ask me...
You've misunderstood me - I have been researching about relationships - which is related to my work - but I'm not going to elaborate - not about relationships at work.
Posts: 5593 | From: Egypt | Registered: Dec 2005
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Men, finding it hard to keep hold of a women? Behave unpredictably, women love that.
and
Women, finding it hard to keep hold of a man? Behave unpredictably, men love that.
You need to define a bit about what 'keeping hold is'
If 2 partners want to be together then there will be no problem. Too often we chase what can never be ours. We play games. Possibly if we are not getting the attention we want we will try to make them jealous in some way..........like 'see what you are missing'.
I realised though that this is really when you are young. When you find the right person and they find you then all the games will be over and you would never think to ask a question like this, because there would be no need.
Men are attracted by different things, for different reasons. A man will be looking for something different in a woman he wants to spend his life with, than with a woman he wants to have sex with, be friends with,have a casual relationship with I think.
Men usually marry women, and women marry men, who are quite different to the type they play around with experiment with when they are younger.
What you might find attractive in a guy when you are in your 20's can be the complete opposite when you are in your 30's. ie, out all the time , sociable, drinker, party animal.
Is this the type of guy you would marry? Most likely no because they might carry on like that when you are at home with kids Posts: 3416 | Registered: Oct 2007
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Men, finding it hard to keep hold of a women? Behave unpredictably, women love that.
and
Women, finding it hard to keep hold of a man? Behave unpredictably, men love that.
You need to define a bit about what 'keeping hold is'
If 2 partners want to be together then there will be no problem. Too often we chase what can never be ours. We play games. Possibly if we are not getting the attention we want we will try to make them jealous in some way..........like 'see what you are missing'.
I realised though that this is really when you are young. When you find the right person and they find you then all the games will be over and you would never think to ask a question like this, because there would be no need.
Men are attracted by different things, for different reasons. A man will be looking for something different in a woman he wants to spend his life with, than with a woman he wants to have sex with, be friends with,have a casual relationship with I think.
Men usually marry women, and women marry men, who are quite different to the type they play around with experiment with when they are younger.
What you might find attractive in a guy when you are in your 20's can be the complete opposite when you are in your 30's. ie, out all the time , sociable, drinker, party animal.
Is this the type of guy you would marry? Most likely no because they might carry on like that when you are at home with kids
I don't agree with this, I have a few friends who met whilst still at school, they went on to marry and have families;. T
Posts: 547 | From: uk | Registered: Jun 2008
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posted
contd - they are still happily married to this day. Men and women tend to be attracted to a certain 'type' and generally we either date or will go on to marry the type of person we are attracted to;. I know from my own experience I have.
Posts: 547 | From: uk | Registered: Jun 2008
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posted
I agree with a point that upredictable is good when it comes to little (or big) presents, surprises which are are made by a partner. One still would like to have the one whom one can rely on! I have a little story for you, it happened 17-18 years ago (no mobiles then). My then pregnant friend's husband whent to the shop to get some bread. Well, he came back in 5 days and found out that he has a son by now! My poor friend was worried and had a child a bit prematuarly.( Boy is OK). He did things likes that few more times, and finally she divorced the pig.
Posts: 15 | From: Ukraine | Registered: Jul 2008
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