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By DIANA APPLEYARD and SADIE NICHOLS, Daily Mail 08:10am 11th May 2006
We all tend to think sex is better when we are young. Yet a recent survey suggests that it's the over-40s who are enjoying the best sex of their lives.
Do we really learn more about loving the older we get? We asked several celebrities what they wish they'd known about sex when they were young. The results make intriguing reading...
Joan Collins, 72, is married to Percy Gibson, 39, her fifth husband. She has three children and three grandchildren.
Joan Collins
'The longer you wait for sex the better', Joan Collins
"I have a reputation for being totally in control when it comes to men, but I haven't always been that knowledgeable. No one can completely read the minds of the opposite sex, but after you've been married five times, like I have, you do pick up a bit of know-how.
"First off, the longer you wait before you have sex, the better. As my grandmother used to say: 'Why buy the whole cake if you can get a slice free?'
"You're worth so much more than that. I've never been much for the one-night stand and that's worked in my favour. And by the time you're 100 per cent sure about sleeping with him, you won't struggle to find the confidence to ask for what you want in bed. Don't demand; suggest. Then you're more likely to get what you want.
"I've learned about love the hard way, plenty of things I wish I'd known when I was young. My biggest mistake was marrying my fourth husband (Swedish singer Peter Holm), no question. I knew I'd got it wrong shortly after the wedding when he spent endless hours locked in our study.
Cut my losses
"Everyone is entitled to a bit of mystery, but you can't hide that much and still have intimacy. I cut my losses and ran. After that, my heart hardened and I thought I'd never marry again. But then I met my now-husband (theatre producer Percy Gibson) and I found out what love really is.
"It's about caring and compassion and sharing everything: thoughts, dreams and time. And obviously, it includes a healthy dose of lust, too.
"You know you truly have intimacy when you can totally be yourself. It's not about make-up or suggestive clothes. Having worn some crazy seduction outfits on screen - including nothing but stockings, a coat and a chauffeur's cap - men assume that's how I dress in real life. I had to wait to find a man who fell in love with the pure, naked me.
"If I could go back in a time machine and talk to myself aged 25, I'd say this: 'Don't waste your time being shy. Don't let anyone sap your self-esteem. You're beautiful, intelligent and talented, so don't let the bastards get you down.'
Fiona Fullerton, 49, is married to Neil Shackell and lives in Gloucestershire. They have two children, James, 16, and Lucy, ten. Formerly a Bond actress, Fiona is now a property investor and writer.
"At 25 I was just divorced, having been married at 19 to the actor Simon MacCorkindale, and there's a huge amount I wish I had known about sex and men in general. Getting divorced at the age of 25 was a real wake-up call.
"It made me realise that great sex is not necessarily the basis for a lengthy and happy relationship - you have to be friends first - and that sex is not just a physical act, you need the emotional support as well. At that age, I tended to go for arrogant, attractive men who did not treat me well.
"I didn't realise that sex is just one part of a whole relationship, and that your needs are just as important as a man's.
"When I was 25, I was so lacking in self-esteem that I didn't have the confidence to enjoy my fame or to shine socially. I never felt able really to let myself go, because I was so worried what the man would think.
"It took me a long time to recover from the sadness of my divorce from Simon. I don't think I became emotionally mature - and free to find myself, sexually - until I was about 37!
"Pathetic I know, but that was when I realised the only way to form a proper relationship was to be myself. For so many years as an actress, I had been living a lie and falling for unsuitable men as a result.
"I was told how to dress and which parties to go to and that I must always look perfect, but that didn't sit comfortably with me. I didn't have the courage to say: 'Enough. This isn't me.' The real me hated being judged, being written about, being famous.
Ordinary mum
"The real me, I have discovered subsequently, likes being an ordinary mum who does ordinary things - and in my relationship with Neil I now feel that my sex life is better than ever. I had many boyfriends who, I'm convinced, were complete misogynists and very selfish in bed.
"I wish I had known that a man who is in touch with his feminine side would make the best husband, not to mention the best lover.
"I discovered far too late that only I can be responsible for my happiness and that you cannot expect another person to provide that for you. Then, and only then, can you have the sex life you deserve."
'Green goddess' fitness expert Diana Moran is 66. She is single, having been married twice, and has two sons, Tim and Nick, and four grandchildren. Diana, who has three books out on looking young and feeling great, lives in Shepperton, Middlesex.
"I was married at just 19 to my first husband, John, a wine importer, so at the age of 25 I was in the thick of having babies and looking after young children. Back then, in the Fifties, sex was not discussed in public, and sex was for producing babies.
"I was one of the first women to juggle a career with bringing up a family, and I struggled with the issue many women face today, that you have so little time, and to have a great sex life you need to set aside time - sex should not be rushed.
"I was not sexually experienced when I got married - very few women of my generation were - and we were far more fearful and apprehensive about sex. Excited, yes, but also fearful!.
"I wish I had known that sex was nothing to fear. In a way, not having slept with anyone else meant that I had no baggage or complications to bring to the marriage, and we were happily married for 25 years.
"There was no Pill, either, so there was always the risk of pregnancy - at 25, sex to me was procreational, not recreational. I wish I had known that sex was not the preserve of young people - I have a great sex life now, and it really does improve with age and experimentation.
"I feel more sensual now than at 25, and that's largely because I have a good body image. You need to feel good about yourself to really enjoy sex."
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"I was told how to dress and which parties to go to and that I must always look perfect, but that didn't sit comfortably with me. I didn't have the courage to say: 'Enough. This isn't me.' The real me hated being judged, being written about, being famous. "
Thats sad and pathetic,theres really women who leave their husbands to controll them to th end,without be able and self confident enought to say :Stop it!Enough!!!!! There must be a border between love ,respect and controll!Love and respect is fine!But the desire of the man to completely controll his wife by telling her what to wear,what make up to put,where to go and how to behave is too much!I would neverrrr accept this to myself and allow him to do this with me,i would probably get completely crazyyy! I feel pitty ofr wifes and women like this,and wish there was somebody to open their eyes on time!Sad..Saddd..Sadd!
QueenBee Member # 9378
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Hey this article doesn't give any S*X advice AT ALL!!! MMMMmmmm, I don't regret or wish I knew anything else when I was younger. I did well. I do think its great to have babies when you are young - I had my daughter when I was just into my 20s. I was a lot bolder and sillier (if that's possible.) I still had the child-like mind, or beginner's mind, where you don't worry about stuff, your world is large.
I could give some great advice for making a man insane in bed, if this was a women's-only forum.
Ahh well, good luck out there ladies!
Charm El Feikh? Member # 10243
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lol queenbee... i too thought it would be an interesting article... alas, it was exceedingly dull.
"ordinary mum" wtf's that?
ChImPs_REVENGING Member # 10093
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i wish me know sex now???41yrs ????hard to do long distance ..... CYBERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR........LOL
9153 Member # 9153
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you're crazy
ChImPs_REVENGING Member # 10093
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and?
didi_elsayed Member # 4763
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LOL
neffeertari Member # 9440
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(I could give some great advice for making a man insane in bed, if this was a women's-only forum )
HEYYY QueenBee !!!!!! Yallah...tell us about these advicessss pleaseeeeeeeeee I am serious....
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