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Do you treat people the way you expect them to treat you?
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[QUOTE]Originally posted by ?????: [QB] [QUOTE]Originally posted by Almaz.: [qb] Why do we dislike liars, especially sociopaths, so much? It’s a matter of trust. When a person lies, they have broken a bond – an unspoken agreement to treat others as we would like to be treated. We like to be able to rely on people, instead of having to ask ourselves first whats the rate of reliability on what has been said to us.Thats where I often went wrong, because I expect people telling me the truth, and not everybody is doing that. It doesnt have to be a lie, it also can be their way to see a certain matter. In intercultural contacts this is even more difficult because people might have a totally different look to see a situation as it is. In your everyday life do you treat people the way you expect them to treat you? No. I`ll do this in the start, but after time, when I might realise that this person doesnt treat me as I treat them, I change my attitude. That can be in many different ways, the most imperative one is to completely ignore them and break all contact. This is a kind of emergency-escape. The person(s) are that much different and unreliable to me, and they are not prepared to change their attitude, so there is nothing else to do for me... How would you like to be treated? Fair,honest, respectfull,friendly,open minded. Do you consider 'white' lies harmless when you tell them, but are frustrated when you discover others are doing it to you? It depends on the lie itsselve, the rate of 'hurt' that can be in that lie. Are you afraid of confrontation, or do you take the risk and tell it like it is - no matter the risk, and expect as well as accept the same in return? I'm not afraid of confrontation when I have to deal with somebody I can trust complete. I know they will appreciate my honesty, because they know the way I am. When I'm not certain about the person in front of me, it can go two ways: to confront or not to confront. I can decide to confront because I'm sick and tired of the person and I dont care how he/she will think about me. In that case I like that they know the truth ( my truth) and they can do what they want, or I dont care about them anyway and I want to spare myself the trouble. It has to do with my own emotional feelings at that moment. If I feel hurt because of the way they acted, it is a signal that I care, and I want to let the person know I am hurt. And do you accept to be treated differently than the way you treat people? I HAVE to accept, because I cant change the way they have been treated me! But, I can do with it what I want.I can make them clear that it is difficult to me, or not. Think its the same as above. When I care, I try to make them clear. Otherwise I just let them say what they want, even when it is about me. I think people know me well enough, and if they dont, it doesnt matter anyway.... A discussion on the above could be interesting. [/qb][/QUOTE]Nice discussion! [/QB][/QUOTE]
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