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[QUOTE]Originally posted by VanillaBullshit: [QB] [QUOTE]Originally posted by shadiyah: [qb] I am in love with my Egyptian boyfriend but I find our relationship really difficult and need some advice... His job as a tour guide means he is constantly travelling and I only see him every two weeks or even less. I keep in touch by sending text messages every few days but he doesn't reply. He never calls either. When he's back, we spend time together and he's absolutely wonderful, and we talk about our future together and he is very attentive and loving. But sometimes we make plans and he decides he's 'too lazy' to come and see me. He says this is because his job is really demanding and he always says he's really tired. This hurts me because we hardly get to see each other as it is. I know he's not engaged or married already; I've met his family and I know his job is legit because I have toured with him before, and it is as demanding as he says it is. So I have no reason to mistrust him. But I'm starting to feel as if he only sees me when it's convenient for him, and he'll never make an effort to show me I'm important to him. I also feel like we're never going to get married; he's always away working and we haven't even had time to get engaged yet. He has an apartment that we're supposedly going to live in when we get married, but it's not even furnished yet and can you imagine how long it's going to take him to do that? I'm torn because I love him, but I don't feel like I'm a priority in his life. Is this a cultural misunderstanding? Is his neglect of me normal? What should I do? [/qb][/QUOTE]There are several key elements here that you are missing: -There is no real, solid commitment here save for empty promises and a few text messages and phone calls that for the most part are ignored when he's working. -You're perception of him is what you're "in love" with, i.e. how you would like to see him, rather than what he is now based on recent behaviors, lack of free time, "too tired" (by the way this is something guys say when we wanna get the phuck outta dodge) is popping up which is not a good sign. Expectation is the mother of all misery, also, if someone actions don't jibe with their words then something is definitely wrong. -If there is any doubt, there is no doubt, you mentioned that you feel as though 'you'll never get married' another warning sign to take heed of and not ignore; you're on the first few steps of that very long staircase of realization that you are not in the best situation and it's time to ask serious questions and find out what YOU are getting from this relationship, if it's not what you want, you have to abandon any silly idealistic notion of "love" and face the reality of the situation and exactly where you stand. [/QB][/QUOTE]
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