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How did YOU pull yourself up again after being hurt.?
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[QUOTE]Originally posted by MisplacedinAlex: [QB] This is great! Wish I had this info. and sharing of problems back when..... After 7 yr. period of a happy marriage(so I thought) my husband decided to up & leave me & 2 toddlers on my 7 yr anniversary after I complained what's wrong with you you didn't even call today and that really hurt my feelings. I had no clue it was coming & thought it's another woman. Still don't know it this is true, never proved it, he denied it. However after 6 mnths separation we did reunite & everything is really great now! During this freak out time I cried & was depressed on & off I didn't have much support and felt like most friends, family were tired of hearing about my problems. I also felt noone understood & couldn't even get someone to sit with my kids then 2 &4, so I could have some alone time which was very needed! I'd say only 1 true friend I could really confide in although she was more supportive of dumping him & getting all I could out of him financially. Family wasn't too supportive just gave bad advice. What did I do? I didn't eat, sleep or feel like doing much but I got out of that bed and I lost 30 pds in 2 mnths and bought new cool clothes! I found talking about it to friends, relatives (who made it worse) and even strangers helped me immensely instead of holding it in or staying in all day. I did try therapist but found that not so helpful -"how do you feel" I already knew what I was supposed to do.(expensive also)I even went to a physic who actually helped more than the therapist. I talked about it, I asked advice, I moaped, & then I tried to go out w/friends some...even tried the bar scene again (awful). I got asked out twice in normal day time settings & I went. I did date a guy younger than me a couple of times & that boasted my ego. I tried to get out even when I felt like ___! I always looked my best and acted like I had somewhere to go upon seeing him. I also bitched & ranted & tried to be vindictive at first, even played detective several times. I emerged myself into motherhood and realized they were most important! I also did try a new career, moved to a nearby town not to have the memories staring at me in the face or pass by our restaurant, which I didn't stick to in the long run, but all these things helped along with frequent chocolate flings & laughing! Did the pain go away?? No, after 2 yrs. some of it is still there especially in dreams! The weight came back! I try to not dwell on that time period but it was painful, ego shattering and especially since I didn't have a clue it was coming. We were always saying we're not like so and so we still have love/lust romance. We have & had the soul mate type relationship & the real reason he has a major stress attack about his own business/trying to buy a home at time, and me nagging about 2 kids when he wrked 65 hr weeks & not involved in kids life. So anyway he has sold his business now to be with the family! We are much better at communicating and not holding our thoughts in. I realize I had some issues also. You may need to know my background: family of 6, mthr extremely negative against her husband/all men. Not much positive feedback in parents, never affectionate,mostly bought things to please us. 4 sisters,1 bro., either in or had bad marriages also. College degree, worked since 16 yrs. middle class, personnel asst. career 6 yrs, retail 7 yrs., secretary 5 yrs. also owned restaurantw/husband 6 yrs.in USA. Relationships past only 1 serious way back & others casual. Lived in 4 cities to change atmosphere, Raleigh, N.c., Annapolis, Md., Atlanta, GA (Favorite), Greensboro, NC. Have 2 awesome children had 4 miscarriages and a dad whom lived with during cancer & died of cancer while I took care of him. This while breast feeding infant & care of 2 yr old. Split happened 1 yr after this. Nearly went crazy? Oh and listened and learned to love country music!!! okay enough,hope it helps! [/QB][/QUOTE]
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