posted
hi everyone! after a long hiatus, i'm back chatting. Ok, my egyptian bf and i are approaching our 1 yr anniversary of dating. we are having some problems though! He has come to terms with the fact that i live in a 4 bedroom apt with one male roommate. this is NOT COOL in his muslim culture but he has accepted it here in America. (we both live in nyc) anyway, i asked him for help in setting up my bed in the apartment and neither he nor I could figure the damn thing out. logically, (or so i thought) i asked my male roommate to help us and he figured out how to set the bed up. oh, Esam (my bf) got soooo mad! well, i just think his feelings were hurt. we discussed it and i know i should get over it but it's still nagging me.
now tell me about how he reacted: is this just a typical macho male thing? Or is this something deeper, a Muslim arab thing that, if we marry, i will have to deal with my entire life? am i going to be sleeping on the floor forever just b/c of his stupid pride??? are we never going to ask for directions or help and just be lost all the time? auggh! he is so sweet and gentle and funny, but at times like this- i could kill him! do any other women feel frustrated with their Egyptian bf's HUGE EGO? write back!
Posts: 25 | From: burlington, vt, usa | Registered: Jan 2005
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posted
One of the most difficult things in life I think is to try see yourself in a similar situation. Although it is th emost simplest genius recipe ever, we rarely do it, and even then it is too late already
But imagine you standing with a book of recipes when he arrives to dinner and scratching your head and mumbling "just can't understand how they make this thing here..." or even that you are already taking the burned sloppy thing out of the oven and presenting to him, at which he will briskly stand up from the table and go knock at the door of this cute blond girl next door, and ask her please come make dinner for you... ??? just try inhale the live feeling of it - a live, bosomy, gorgeous blonde girl next door and her food just melts in the mouth, too... and he already knows that, too... and he is already depending on her, too...
P.S. And - no, they never ask for directions, and yes, you will forever be lost as far as they are concerned. Nothing specifically Egyptian here, though
[This message has been edited by nevermind (edited 29 June 2005).]
posted
ha ha, i love it! ok, so maybe it's just a male thing and i'm just overly paranoid.
Posts: 25 | From: burlington, vt, usa | Registered: Jan 2005
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Hi Im in the same situation that u are its been two years that i have been with my egypting bf and I still cant understand him some times. I think it is a macho thing, just be very, very, very patient with him becouse if youre not it will drive u crazy like it has driven me for the past two yrs. Just think of the great times u have toghether and that will get you through a lot of head eches.
quote:Originally posted by carolina9: ha ha, i love it! ok, so maybe it's just a male thing and i'm just overly paranoid.
Yes, the is a huge no no in his culture. I have had male roommates years before I met my husband and when I told him he got silent. He wasn't okay with it and told me not to tell his family.
If you want to have a future with him I'd get a female roommate. I know its easier to have a male roommate, female roommates are hell especially if they are hefty and think they can fit your clothes. grrrr.
This is one of the reasons why Egyptian women don't live on their own before marriage.
Posts: 5744 | From: Minneapolis, Mn USA | Registered: Mar 2004
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quote:Originally posted by carolina9: hi everyone! after a long hiatus, i'm back chatting. Ok, my egyptian bf and i are approaching our 1 yr anniversary of dating. we are having some problems though! He has come to terms with the fact that i live in a 4 bedroom apt with one male roommate. this is NOT COOL in his muslim culture but he has accepted it here in America. (we both live in nyc) anyway, i asked him for help in setting up my bed in the apartment and neither he nor I could figure the damn thing out. logically, (or so i thought) i asked my male roommate to help us and he figured out how to set the bed up. oh, Esam (my bf) got soooo mad! well, i just think his feelings were hurt. we discussed it and i know i should get over it but it's still nagging me.
now tell me about how he reacted: is this just a typical macho male thing? Or is this something deeper, a Muslim arab thing that, if we marry, i will have to deal with my entire life? am i going to be sleeping on the floor forever just b/c of his stupid pride??? are we never going to ask for directions or help and just be lost all the time? auggh! he is so sweet and gentle and funny, but at times like this- i could kill him! do any other women feel frustrated with their Egyptian bf's HUGE EGO? write back!
Men hate failure and it feels worse when it comes in front of the one they are suppose to take care of, and the worst when their faliure is fixed by a guy who they may find as a challenge to their relationship with the woman.If you had expressed much gratitude and happiness towards the guy who fixed the bed, the other guy would have comitted suicide.Yes it's very serious guys. Look at how Male lion treat any male lion who ever come close to his women.
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