posted
had tried to get a clear answer for my question for 3 yrs but in vain hope inshallah i get a reply from u.i am 23 yr old,i hav one sister.my mom and dad have been married for 25 yrs.3yrs back my father married a hindu widow women converting her to islam.and we have had problems in home from then on.she has two sons from her first husband who died. the issue is the second wife was working at the same place where my father worked,and the rumour is my father had an affair with her and married her later,and Allah knows better is it true or not.she was known to be a women of not so good characters and she dresses very provocatively. even after three years of marraige there is no islamic signs on her and she still dresses in a very provocative manner, she had done sterilization operation after her children were born from her first husband.so my father knoingly married a women who could not bear children. so the issue is , is the marraige valid since Muhamed(sal) had prohibited marraige with a women who could not bear children. and if so then what about the two sons of her who have been given islamic names and are studying in a muslim boarding school. and what should be the attitude of my mother and also my attitude towards this issue .
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
In your question you said that your father married a Hindu woman and made her become Muslim. If the marriage contract was done when she was a Hindu, and she became a Muslim after that, then the marriage is invalid, and your father should do a new marriage contract, because Allaah has forbidden Muslim men to marry mushrik women until they become Muslim. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And do not marry Al-Mushrikaat (idolatresses) till they believe (worship Allaah Alone)”
[al-Baqarah 2:221]
If the marriage contract was done after she became Muslim, then the marriage is valid.
Secondly:
It is not permissible for your father to marry a woman who is as you describe. Islam encourages marriage to religiously-committed women. Her dressing in a provocative manner prevents the Muslim from making this choice. You have to advise your father in the way that is better to urge her to adhere to Islamic rulings, which includes telling her to wear hijab and behave in a proper manner.
Thirdly:
The Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) encouraged marriage to women who are fertile. It was narrated that Anas ibn Maalik (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to say: “Marry the one who is loving and fertile, for I will feel proud of your large numbers before the other Prophets on the Day of Resurrection.” Narrated by Ahmad (12202). Classed as saheeh by Ibn Hibbaan (3/338) and by al-Haythami in Majma’ al-Zawaa’id (4/474).
Sham al-Deen Abaadi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
Wudood (loving) means she loves her husband.
Wulood (fertile) means the one who bears many children.
These two conditions are mentioned together because if a fertile woman is not loving, her husband will feel no desire for her, and if a loving woman is not fertile, the desired aim will not be achieved, which is to increase the numbers of the ummah by producing many children. These two characteristics may be known in the case of virgins from the behaviour of their relatives, because in most cases relatives are similar in behaviour and characteristics.
‘Awn al-Ma’bood (6/33-34)
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) told men not to marry infertile women. It was narrated that Ma’qil ibn Yasaar (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: A man came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said: I have found a woman who is of good lineage and beautiful, but she cannot have children. Should I marry her? He said: No. Then he came to him a second time, and he told him not (to marry that woman). Then he came to him a third time and he said: “Marry the one who is loving and fertile, for I will be proud of your great numbers before the nations.” Narrated by al-Nasaa’i (3227) and Abu Dawood (2050). Classed as saheeh by Ibn Hibbaan (9/363) and by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Targheeb (1921).
This prohibition does not mean that it is haraam, rather it is makrooh. The scholars stated that choosing a fertile woman is mustahabb, not obligatory.
Ibn Qudaamah said in al-Mughni:
It is mustahabb that she be from a family whose women are known to bear many children. End quote.
Al-Manaawi said in Fayd al-Qadeer (6. hadeeth 9775):
Marrying a woman who is not fertile is makrooh. End quote.
Just as it is permissible for a woman to marry an infertile man, it is also permissible for a man to marry an infertile woman.
Al-Haafiz said in al-Fath:
As for one who cannot have children or who has no desire for women or for intimacy, this (marriage) is permissible in his case, if the woman is aware of that and agrees to it. End quote.
Fourthly:
With regard to your father’s wife giving her sons Muslim names and putting them in an Islamic school, these are good things that your father has done. Changing bad names or foreign names to Arab and Muslim names is a good thing. See the answer to questions no. 23273, 14622 and 12617. Putting them into an Islamic school is a means of introducing them to true Islam and convincing them of it, and we hope that they will become good Muslims.
Fifthly:
You have to honour your mother and take care of her, and advise her to give your father his rights. It is not permissible for her to go against his command unless he tells her to do something that is disobedient to Allaah. You should also advise your father’s wife and show her the way to do good. You should pay attention to her sons and help them to get to know Islam and follow its rulings.
We ask Allaah to set your family’s affairs straight, and to guide you to obey Him, and help you to worship Him properly.
And Allaah knows best.
Posts: 1602 | From: the banana island shake me tweeeeeeee | Registered: Jan 2006
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posted
Iim been told i cannot have any more children after losing my baby ..with my present hubby ,hehas no children at all and has no disire to marry for children ,he says if allah wills for us to have no children then so be it i have 3 from a previous marriage ,but im wonder now ..you dont think of this ,...any one in same situation please talk ...
Posts: 1602 | From: the banana island shake me tweeeeeeee | Registered: Jan 2006
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i was told i was infertile after i lost part of my womb after my third childbirth. we used no contraception for 3 years, and as i had always conceived easily in the past i had to come to terms with never having the big family i so badly wanted.....
then HELLO!!!! baby number 4 popped into existence!!!
so dont be so sure!!!
Posts: 5642 | From: hellonearth.myfastforum.org Forum Index | Registered: Feb 2006
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posted
i cant have any they took away my overies when me misscarried in january i didnt want to say any thing im just want to know whats the sign on this in islam its says u not to be married to infertile women i now he will tell me to shut up .so do you abide to what the quran says u and ur hubby or do has he says the husband and shut up ..thnx charm for advice welcomed...
Posts: 1602 | From: the banana island shake me tweeeeeeee | Registered: Jan 2006
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posted
Enjoy your marriage and the love of your husband. Marriage is *half the religion* in Islam, right?
Posts: 25 | Registered: Apr 2006
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posted
im agree when you follow the religion its saying another saying to what your living and doing so which do you abide by or am i misunderstanding my self ,and oh yes im a happy wife neverhave been in a long time .but no kids in anew marriage i dont want to be another second wife even though im bleive him he wont do that to me but thats now ..any way shudnt let it get me down ok soz for all .w/salaams have anice day ...
Posts: 1602 | From: the banana island shake me tweeeeeeee | Registered: Jan 2006
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quote:Originally posted by CHIMPS: Iim been told i cannot have any more children after losing my baby ..with my present hubby ,hehas no children at all and has no disire to marry for children ,he says if allah wills for us to have no children then so be it i have 3 from a previous marriage ,but im wonder now ..you dont think of this ,...any one in same situation please talk ...
chimps there is nothing in islam that says a man should not an infertile women. i'm very suspicious of the hadeeth that guy referred to.
enjoy your life, islam means acceptance of everything god gives us, and if its infertility then so be it.
good luck
Posts: 4446 | From: Egyptian in Sydney | Registered: Mar 2005
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posted
whats this mean can u or any one exsplain this please /w/s
Posts: 1602 | From: the banana island shake me tweeeeeeee | Registered: Jan 2006
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posted
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) told men not to marry infertile women. It was narrated that Ma’qil ibn Yasaar (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: A man came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said: I have found a woman who is of good lineage and beautiful, but she cannot have children. Should I marry her? He said: No. Then he came to him a second time, and he told him not (to marry that woman). Then he came to him a third time and he said: “Marry the one who is loving and fertile, for I will be proud of your great numbers before the nations.” Narrated by al-Nasaa’i (3227) and Abu Dawood (2050). Classed as saheeh by Ibn Hibbaan (9/363) and by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Targheeb (1921).
Posts: 1602 | From: the banana island shake me tweeeeeeee | Registered: Jan 2006
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posted
Chimps, the words you brought up refer to a specific historical period when Islam was 'developing' and a growing number of its followers was very important to its success if not even survival. There is only ONE reason for marrying more than one wife given in the Holy Quran, and that is to provide support for widows and orphans during war when a great number of the men is killed. And even then, a man can only marry more than one wife when he knows in his heart that he will treat them both equally (which condition, clearly stated in the Holy Scripture, makes it almost impossible to practice). Infertility, boredom or plain horniness are NOT valid Islamic reasons for polygamy. Many tragedies of Muslimah forced into polygamous marriages are dictated by male insecurity and ignorance, and are imposed without any religious basis.
Posts: 2238 | From: Mother Earth | Registered: Jun 2004
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