With a name like Smuckers
Member # 10289
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posted
She is not a BLEACHED BLONDE - She is PEROXIDE DEPENDENT.
She is not a BAD COOK - She is MICROWAVE COMPATIBLE.
She does not wear TOO MUCH JEWELRY - She's METALLICALLY OVERBURDENED.
She's not CONCEITED- She's INTIMATELY AWARE OF HER BEST QUALITIES.
She does not GAIN WEIGHT - She's a METABOLIC UNDERACHIEVER.
She does not TEASE or FLIRT-She engages in ARTIFICIAL STIMULATION.
She's not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.
She's not TOO SKINNY - She is SKELETALLY PROMINENT..
She does not WEAR TOO MUCH PERFUME - She commits FRAGRANCE ABUSE.
She does not GO SHOPPING - She is MALL FLUENT.
She is not an AIR HEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.
She does not get FAT or CHUBBY - She achieves MAXIMUM DENSITY.
She is not COLD or FRIGID - She is THERMALLY INACCESSIBLE.
She does not WEAR TOO MUCH MAKEUP - She has reached COSMETIC SATURATION.
She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE
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