posted
While the perfect pizza is something that is of great debate between various factions (the simplistic pepperoni lovers vs the supreme 'the works' faction) there is a simple rule that both sides will agree upon when ordering pizza. This rule is know as the 'F' rule.
Quite simply, the 'F' rule states:
Nothing that begins with the letter 'F' may appear on a pizza. Classically, this encompasses the area of:
Fish Fruit Fungus However, it is often amended to include : Feta
Fish
While some people enjoy having filets of disgustingly salty fish scattered about a pizza, it is by far frowned upon by the vast majority of the pizza going factions. Anchovies shall never appear on a pizza.
Furthermore, while not technically a fish there are reports that such things as shrimp and squid appearing on pizza in various back alleys of California food places. This is an outrage! No. No. No. Do not put anything that comes from the sea on a pizza. Don't you dare even think about putting seaweed on it either.
Fruit
By far the most notorious offender is that of the pineapple. This sweet fruit dripping in sugary juices is an abomination for the pizza going populace. Such wanton displays of fructose on a pizza ruin its appeal.
While there are some defectors in the pepperoni faction that will occasionally toss this on a pizza (heathens!) the supreme faction is aghast at the slightest mention of the addition of pineapple to any pizza of such complexity that has been perfected. Such an addition throws off the entire flavor balance of the pizza.
The standing of the olive is currently in dispute.
Fungus
Mushrooms - such rancid additions to the pizza are more closely related to toe jam than to wholesome items such as pepperoni, ham and sausage. Furthermore, the addition of mushrooms makes the cold morning pizza a question of memory - "was that mushroom there the night before?". Mushrooms of the magical kind are forbidden.
It should be noted that some members of the supreme faction question this rule however are willing to abide by it if it means getting the pizza sooner.
Feta
While some try to classify this as a fungus - it isn't quite fair to the other cheeses such as mozzarella (the only cheese that belongs on a pizza). However, goat cheese is far removed from the occasional cheddar that may find its way on to a BBQ pizza. Goat cheese is just wrong. If such a food was right... how come we don't see 'goat milk' in the school cafeteria or to add as creamer to the coffee at Starbucks?
Do not be deceived by the followers of the goat cheese rule into thinking that such an item belongs on the pizza.
posted
I totally disagree!!!! Shrimp and pineapple pizza every day!!!!! You know what is a great pizza? Caramalized onion and CLAM!!!! NO kidding! And I must have my arugula pizza with both gorgonzola AND feta! I think mushroom and onion ranks in my top 5 favorite pizzas. Who in the name of all that is holy composed this piece of information? Homer Simpson?
Posts: 1161 | From: wo xiang xiao bian ji si le | Registered: Oct 2005
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posted
Well, I could do without hosbond ordering anchovies on his pizza. Posts: 8794 | From: 01-20-09 The End of an Error | Registered: Dec 2004
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