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Predators in paradise: The woman who could lose her HOME after she was trapped by the holiday toyboy sex industry
By Diana Appleyard Last updated at 12:20 PM on 22nd May 2008
A British divorcee falls in love with a holiday toyboy - then realises he just sees her as a meal-ticket. So far, so depressingly familiar. But Sarah's story has a sinister and utterly unexpected twist.
Duped: Sarah Matheson with her Indian lover Farouk, who conned her out of £80,000
Farouk's soulful brown eyes looked deeply into those of his girlfriend's as they sat at a beach bar, the waves of the Indian Ocean lapping feet away.
'I cannot get a loan here, and the money will safeguard our future,' he said to her. 'I will be able to build up my business and then I can take care of you for ever.'
Without hesitating, Sarah Matheson handed over a cheque for £60,000. This was money from a loan secured against her detached four-bedroom house in Surrey.
But home, for the divorced 54-year-old IT systems analyst, seemed a very long way away at that moment.
At the time, Sarah, who has three grown-up children, was renting out her house and had taken a sabbatical from her high-powered career.
Against the advice of her children, she had flown to Calangute, in the northern part of Goa, India, to spend time and plan her future with her Kashmiri boyfriend, Farouk.
He had told her he was in his mid-30s. In fact, she found out later when she looked at his passport that he was 29.
'I know everyone reading this will be shaking their heads and thinking: "How could you be so gullible?"' she says. 'But imagine my position. I was a divorcee who had been on my own for ten years. I had a reasonable amount of money, my own stylish home and a great career.
'But I was bored stiff. My children had left home, and I was looking into a bleak and lonely future. This beautiful young man offered an escape. . . Not just to passionate sex and attention, but also the chance of a new life.
'I could live here in this stunning place, with the sea and the sun, for the rest of my days. He painted such a vivid picture of our future together that the fact he needed money seemed so unimportant, so trifling.
'He was so very persuasive and plausible, saying that it was almost impossible to borrow money in India and that this money would not only secure our futures but that he would pay me back in full. I was in love, and looking through rose-tinted glasses.' A harsh home-coming
But Sarah was about to become one of the thousands of mature British women falling victim to young foreign men who prey on them in holiday destinations around the world.
Today, she is back home, alone, in Surrey. There is no lover with the soulful eyes and promise of a sun-drenched romantic future.
Instead, she has letters from her mortgage and loan company telling her that she must pay the arrears or she will be evicted from her home.
In tears, she says: 'I cannot believe I fell for this. It is a scam, an absolute con. The reason I am speaking out about what is a deeply shameful episode in my life is that I desperately want to warn other women like me that you must not fall for this trick.
'It will ruin your life. If I could, I would put leaflets on the planes flying to holiday destinations like Goa, warning women to beware.'
Since Sarah's world came crashing down in May of last year, she has been fighting with the Goan government and legal system to try to bring a case against Farouk.
But her British solicitor has warned her it will be virtually impossible and potentially very costly. Not only that, but she has been in contact with five other British women who have been scammed the same way by Farouk's friends, and is keen to begin a campaign to stop this happening to anyone else.
Conned: Sarah gave her Kashmiri boyfriend, Farouk, a cheque for £60,000 secured against her house to help him 'build up his business'
'I am an intelligent woman, and yet I fell for his lies, hook, line and sinker,' Sarah admits. 'Even the Goan tourism minister has admitted to me that this is a problem. Women holidaymakers are tremendously vulnerable. They are being targeted from the moment they step off the plane.'
What happened to Sarah is a classic case. 'I went to Goa on holiday with a girlfriend, with no thoughts whatsoever of meeting a man. I simply wanted to chill out, get a tan and read a lot of good books. We spent the first day on the beach, and then went to an attractive thatched beach bar for lunch.
'During our meal, I became aware of a man staring at me. He was darkskinned with black hair, typically Indian-looking, and very attractive with big brown eyes. His approach was very casual. He wandered over and sat down next to us.
'He said: "Hi, how are you? How long are you staying in Goa? Where are you staying?"' Sarah says there was nothing about his approach that rang alarm bells. 'I just thought he was a very friendly, nice guy. He spoke good English, and he told us that his family was very poor and that he worked to send money back to them in Kashmir.
'I thought he was maybe late-30s, and he told us he ran a chain of jewellery and furniture shops.
'I did think it was a bit odd that this "businessman" would be hanging around a beach bar in a T-shirt and jeans, but it was a different culture.'
He invited them both out for a drink that evening. He said he had a friend who would join them.
'We met up that night, and went to a cheap cafe and ate a prawn curry. It was a fun evening, relaxed, and there was no pressure. But he kept catching my eye, as if he was attracted to me.
'Despite my reservations, I found it exciting. He was so good looking. I know it sounds unlikely, but I really felt he liked me - even though I was a size 16 at the time.'
Farouk told Sarah he had just come out of a long relationship, and that he was feeling vulnerable. On the second night, he tenderly kissed her, and Sarah says she felt so many old emotions flare into life.
'His friend was trying to kiss my friend too, but she would have none of it - she was married, and told him so.' Inseparable
That week, Sarah and Farouk became inseparable. 'My friend told me I was being silly, but I was caught up in the romance of it all. We'd meet up every night after he had finished work, and twice we slept together.
'We used contraception, and I did not even think I was taking a risk. He was so tender and loving. When we said goodbye to each at the hotel before I flew home he was in tears. He said he loved me.'
Sarah was on cloud nine as she flew home. 'My friend said I had to realise this was simply a fling, but I convinced myself this was a proper relationship. We rang and e-mailed constantly each other, and two months later I flew back on my own to Goa to see him.'
Throwing herself into his arms at the airport, Sarah was overjoyed. 'We spent three weeks together, lying on the beach, eating in bars, sipping wine by the sea. It was idyllic. Yes, I usually paid for everything, but Farouk said his business was going through a bad patch.'
Leaving him was so hard that, a few months later, she decided to take a year's sabbatical from her job and rent a house in Goa.
'My family thought I had gone insane,' she says. 'But I was totally in love with him by now. I rented out my house, put all my financial affairs in order and flew to Goa.'
Indian hideaway: The home in Goa Sarah Matheson rented at a cost of £100 a month for her local lover
She rented a two-bedroom villa in a palm grove a mile from the coast in Calangute, and settled into a dream-like, surreal existence.
'My rent was only a £100 a month, whereas I was getting £600 a month for my home in Surrey, and I felt I was flush with money.
'I cooked and cleaned, waiting for him to come home from work, and sat on the beach or in the garden reading. During the days, I'd wander through the markets, chatting to local people. It was wonderful - like a permanent holiday.'
Several of her friends from the UK came to stay, and although they were suspicious of Farouk, remarked that Sarah had never looked better.
'The weight fell off me and I was so brown from lying in the sun. I felt ten years younger. Farouk was so attentive and loving, and we talked about us getting married, or him coming back to England with me.'
Money, Farouk told her, was the problem - and Sarah happily handed it over. Farouk then announced he needed a visa to come and see her in England, but he couldn't get one.
Sarah, who felt she needed to check on her home, flew back alone to the UK. 'At home, I sent a carefully-worded sponsorship letter via Farouk to the Goan authorities, asking them to grant Farouk a visa.'
Then, bizarrely, she received a phone call at home in Surrey from an Englishwoman, of about her age. The first warning
'She asked me how to get a visa for her Indian boyfriend. Like me, she was a professional woman, and I asked her how on earth she had got my number and knew my situation.'
The answer sent the first warning chill down Sarah's back. 'She told me her boyfriend was a friend of Farouk, and that he had shown his friend my sponsorship letter. This woman said her boyfriend was "desperate" to get to the UK.'
The two women agreed to meet up. 'This was when my world fell apart,' she says. 'She showed me photos not only of herself with her Indian boyfriend, but also pictures of Farouk with his arm around one of her girlfriends.'
Together, the two women began to put the pieces of the jigsaw together.
Sarah decided to fly out and confront Farouk with the photographs. By now, she had given him an incredible £80,000 - £20,000 from her savings, and £60,000 from a bank loan which was ostensibly to save his business.
'He denied everything, in floods of tears. He said he was not having a relationship with the woman in the photo, it was all lies.'
By now, however, Sarah knew the trust had gone. 'I realised I had been such a fool, and had been duped out of this money. I told him he had to pay me back, and that our relationship was over.'
Back at home, she waited for the money to arrive. Although she was now working again, her finances were suffering.
'He sent me a few hundred pounds, but then nothing. I called his bank - he'd shut the account the money was in. He refused to return my calls.'
Even worse, it occurred to her that she might have put her health at risk, and had an HIV test. 'Waiting for the results was horrific, but thank goodness they came back negative.'
With increasing panic, Sarah got in touch with a solicitor, who said it would be a very hard case to fight. She now knows Farouk spent the money on land, and is building himself a house. Insult to injury
She has also discovered her sponsorship letter was distributed by Farouk to at least five of his friends having relationships with British women, all of whom have since contacted Sarah as she put her address and phone number on the letter.
'I told them all bluntly this was a scam, and that their "lovers" were simply out to fleece them. I was met with a range of reactions - blind disbelief, tears and anger.'
She says many, many more British women have been conned by young men. 'I know they are buying them gifts, sending money, while they swear undying love. Wake up and smell the coffee. I know one woman who has already lost her home.
'They are so embarrassed to talk about it, but someone has to stand up and admit what is happening. So far I am one of the few, but I hope more will talk about it openly. Quite simply, it is ruining lives.'
Sarah is now facing up to the fact that she may have to sell her home before it is repossessed.
'I can't afford to repay this loan and my mortgage. I am beside myself with anger and grief. I can't believe I threatened my own security by being so stupid.'
Sarah would like the Indian government to admit this is a major problem for tourists and take some action against men like Farouk.
It has all proved an expensive lesson for Sarah. She says: 'I love my home. It is my security, my safe place, and I have put my own safety and my children's inheritance in jeopardy for a senseless fling in a hot climate.'
posted
Man, this should be a warning for many women who fall head over heels in love with a man on exotic beach holiday in a third world country.
Thanks for posting this story incl. the pics, Strangeways!!
Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
the problem is no matter how much u lust them men!!! u should never involve yr money no matter what!!! thats yr life savings. i cant begin how to understand how theses women get duped into the money scam thing!!! what must go thru their minds!! hell if they wanna give money away send some my way i will tell yal i love yal too!!!
-------------------- your ass is so tight when you fart only a dog can hear it.when you queef only a cat can hear that one. Posts: 9776 | From: You like If only mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood. | Registered: Jul 2007
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posted
there are more women being scammed than we know abt. good thing is more and more are coming to light
Posts: 154 | From: somewhere in the uk | Registered: Mar 2008
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There are women scammed by men, and men scammed by women. As soon as this becomes more public, people at least are warned and keep it in mind. I never did hear about scamming men before a relative got involved with it. She kept it a secret for more then ten years, because she was ashamed, everybody warned her, but she didn't listen... Sad story, divorced, children, and a hard life. Happy that there was somebody who just was sweet and listened to her problems as a single parent with problematic kids. Later, when I went to Egypt, and she noticed that there were frequently people asking me about the culture, and their own bfs, she told me. I always had known something like this must have happened, but she never wanted to talk about it. Sad, sad, sad...
-------------------- “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.” Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
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but what i dont understand is how they allow themselves to get in that position!! once he say he needs money she should say no and thats it...
-------------------- your ass is so tight when you fart only a dog can hear it.when you queef only a cat can hear that one. Posts: 9776 | From: You like If only mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood. | Registered: Jul 2007
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posted
Even the brightest and educated amongst us get scammed; this "love" they feel for these men (r women) must be quite overwhelming or they are simply at their most vulnerable to be able to give over that kind of money.
I agree it is so so sad, I think maybe guidebooks should highlight what is going on so at least some people are aware of the warning signs of a scam. Posts: 1917 | From: WALES | Registered: Apr 2007
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All of the books in the world can't teach common sense. The fact that the women are so much older than these men, that the men always need money and always have a sick mother or can't get a fair deal on their own should catch their eye. Common sense simply cannot be taught, you either have it or you do not.
Posts: 13440 | Registered: Feb 2006
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posted
I agree with what you are saying Smucks but I feel that fore-warned is fore-armed, at least they would have an awareness of what could happen, although I accept to some ignorance is bliss!
Posts: 1917 | From: WALES | Registered: Apr 2007
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quote:Originally posted by advocate: I agree it is so so sad, I think maybe guidebooks should highlight what is going on so at least some people are aware of the warning signs of a scam.
Actually it is. Too many women know before they go on vacation about the common tourist traps incl. getting it on with local men but it doesn't matter anymore. They push all the warnings aside and head full speed and love-blind into the disaster.
Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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