quote: Originally posted by Gaul: LOL, I could care less of what ethnicities notice or not and LOL, thats not the point.
Then your sematics regarding ''dirty laundry'' is misleading.
quote: Originally posted by Gaul: but no documentation or reasoning was given other than MissJennifer's perception.
Perhaps you jumped in this specific portion of the discussion too soon then.
quote: Originally posted by Gaul: So the ONLY thing I acknowledged was how these dirty "perceptions" seemed to be readily loudmouthed by our own kind while readily lauding the willingness to be in comfort with other groups. Which brings me to the next point.
Who said anything about any problems, be they real or just preceptions, be "swept under the rug"? Can't problems be fixed more effieciently and accurately "in house", or "in the family"??
How exactly do occurring patterns, whether they are exaggerated or not, get solved efficiently on a case per case basis? Give me the specifics and we'll see if your ''indoor'' method is more ''efficient'' than openly discussing it.
quote: Originally posted by Gaul: Must our problems or perceptions be loudmouthed to white people on public websites with mixed membership, or on non-black radio or TV in order for them to be fixed? Do you lack confidence in that? Curious.
If the the highlighted bits don't expose that you care about the opinions of other ethnicities, I don't know what will. Interestingly, the only bad connotations you give to ''airing our dirty laundry'' pertain to other ethnicities butting in.
quote: Originally posted by Gaul: The MAIN POINT was that, comparatively speaking, it seems black people are more prone to downing our own kind while being ready to acknowledge the acceptance of others VERY LOUDLY purely based on perception and speaks to a very weak attitude and confidence in our own amongst mine and the younger generation (at least this is what I'm seeing). I don't know of any other group that does this.
Notice how you give your complaint the status of ''comparatively speaking'' while the ones displayed by me and others are simply ''perceptions''. LOL. Point out one thing I've said that isn't true comparatively speaking.. Don't worry, I'll wait.
quote: Originally posted by Gaul: You seem like a prime candidate for this...
quote:Then your sematics regarding ''dirty laundry'' is misleading.
Purely your opinion and your own stance on what I clearly explained. "Dirty laundry" is exactly what it is, no matter who the audience is.
quote:Perhaps you jumped in this specific portion of the discussion too soon then.
How so? It's not on me to provide the documentation. I didn't say it since I don't even believe it to be true in the first place. I am specifically speaking about the willingness to state this unsubstantiated statement when it really was NOT even necessary to begin with, which proves my overall point.
quote:How exactly do occurring patterns, whether they are exaggerated or not, get solved efficiently on a case per case basis? Give me the specifics and we'll see if your ''indoor'' method is more ''efficient'' than openly discussing it.
Who said keeping things "in house" autmatically equates to "case-by-case"?? Black people not capable of having large forums? Regarding the "indoor" method, it's obvious you have NEVER been part of any team, as your logic on this subject sticks out like the sore thumb of an individual, or someone who does not think with any sort of team-like national identity. This is logic you have to learn on your own, and I hope I'm starting you on the right track. Other groups don't seem to have difficulty grasping this.
quote:If the the highlighted bits don't expose that you care about the opinions of other ethnicities, I don't know what will. Interestingly, the only bad connotations you give to ''airing our dirty laundry'' pertain to other ethnicities butting in.
Actually no. The bad connotation is that it shows a lack of indentic pride when one is already willing to spread possibly fasle information about their own group to other groups. You just don't find East Asian women who go into public arenas very often that invovle a high number of non-East Asians and speak about how bad it is that East Asian men are willing to use them to work in "massage parlors". I sure have never seen or heard about it given the number of these "massage parlors" in every major city. Why? There is too much pride in them to do such a thing and that is a conversation you might only find on an East Asian dominated forum. Nevermind the fact that you will be hard pressed to hear same East Asian woman speak in the same breath her willingness to date a black man as an alternative. Pride kinda works that way. Ya know?
quote:Notice how you give your complaint the status of ''comparatively speaking'' while the ones displayed by me and others are simply ''perceptions''. LOL. Point out one thing I've said that isn't true comparatively speaking.. Don't worry, I'll wait.
From the only things I've seen from you, you talk of supposed personal experiences which can't be rebutted. Just as you talk of "being disrespected by black men", and I can talk of teh black men that taught me at a young age to always open doors for ladies, the ones that have taken me under their wing in my profession, the ones that have been married to ONE woman for 30+ years until death, or the white guy I just saw shout at his lady to "hurry up bvitch!!" at a gas station.
It's all he say/she say. My point is that if you percieve a problem, talk to one on your brothers and handle it "in house" rather than big mouthing to others what may or may not be true. Anyone with self-identic pride (and this is the crux of my argument to begin with) does this without having to be told. Have you travelled outside of the states much? That may help to see how other groups are with their own. For an Amharic or Oromo woman who might happen to live in South Africa, I would give a less than 2% chance that she will marry a man that is say, Xhosa, much less even speak of marrying or dating a white man while bad mouthing her own. Why? Well, I've typed enough lines on why. Hey, why don't you tell me?
Instead of replying to me childish links, pay attention to the one I sent you. It has everything to do with rampant perception black people have about their own communties that have been PROVEN by documentation to be FALSE. Which makes the big-mouthing even worse and low level of self-identic pride even more obvious amongst some of us.
In keeping with my stance on items like this (not for other eyes to see), I won't respond to anymore on this topic on this board. If you want to continue this with me, please PM me as this board is not even remotely meant for topics like this to begin with.
Posts: 455 | From: Tharsis Montes | Registered: Jan 2009
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by Gaul: Purely your opinion and your own stance on what I clearly explained. "Dirty laundry" is exactly what it is, no matter who the audience is.
Let's consult the dictiorary then..
dirty laundry n. Informal Personal affairs that could cause embarrassment or distress if made public: Let's not air our dirty laundry in front of our guests. Also called dirty linen.
Again, implying a certain degree of care about the opinion of other people. Whether or not you meant this, the fact remains your choice or words imply this. If you disagree, take it up with the dictionary.
quote: Originally posted by Gaul: How so? It's not on me to provide the documentation. I didn't say it since I don't even believe it to be true in the first place. I am specifically speaking about the willingness to state this unsubstantiated statement when it really was NOT even necessary to begin with, which proves my overall point.
If the complaints of black women about diasporal black males are ''unsubstantiated'', why use terms like ''airing out our dirty laundry'' and not just call the claims you're reffering to unsubstantiated in the first place? Why not call her out for her perceived bogus and ask for scientific studies? Certainly, if I were to say something bogus like for example, that black men on average have a harder time remaining in control of the relationship, you wouldn't call this ''airing out our dirty laundry'', nor would you call for a non-publicized discussion. You would call it unsubstantiated from the get go, plain and simple. You are contradicting your own choice of words Gaul.
quote: Originally posted by Gaul: Who said keeping things "in house" autmatically equates to "case-by-case"?? Black people not capable of having large forums? Regarding the "indoor" method, it's obvious you have NEVER been part of any team, as your logic on this subject sticks out like the sore thumb of an individual, or someone who does not think with any sort of team-like national identity.
Now this is something I find VERY funny, this is something that Mike would do. Just take a segment from someones post, and deduce from that enough material to write a best selling novel. What is interesting, is that this unsubstatiated deducing deducing comes from someone who labels Missjennifers complains ''perceived'' and ''unsubstantiated''. I wonder what extravagant, glamorous hollywood script material can be deduced from you unwillingness to accept hotter annual temperatures around the equator and what that implies about limb proportions in Africans.
quote: Originally posted by Gaul: Actually no. The bad connotation is that it shows a lack of indentic pride when one is already willing to spread possibly fasle information about their own group to other groups.
How exactly was anyone here ''spreading possibly false information''? If that was anyones intention, there are a lot more efficient way to do that. Posting on Egyptsearch is not one of them.
quote: Originally posted by Gaul: Actually no. The bad connotation is that it shows a lack of indentic pride when one is already willing to spread possibly fasle information about their own group to other groups. You just don't find East Asian women who go into public arenas very often that invovle a high number of non-East Asians and speak about how bad it is that East Asian men are willing to use them to work in "massage parlors". I sure have never seen or heard about it given the number of these "massage parlors" in every major city. Why? There is too much pride in them to do such a thing and that is a conversation you might only find on an East Asian dominated forum.
First of all, your counterexample is irrelevant, since it doesn't relate to ''relational problems''. Secondly, the east Asian temperaments, cultural values and attitudes are different than that of Diasporal Africans. Not better, just different. It is no surprise that these behaviour influencing environmental traits will result in differing behaviour. Come back with some valid counterexamples when you've taken those factors into account.
Also, do you suggest that African American women should adopt or have something to learn from such passive, slave like attitudes? If not, why juxtapose the so called ''bad bahaviour'' of certain black women/men with that example you gave that (I can only hope is not) supposed to be the epitome of ''good behaviour''? The only thing I get from your anekdotal example is that black women in general wouldn't quetly succomb to their husbands command, because of a silly concept of ''pride'', and I believe African American women are better off that way. I don't know about you, but if such patterns where AA men influence AA women to practice certain proffessions to the point that stereotypes start to emerge, I hope AA women maintain the same attitude you accuse them of. Yes, I'd rather have them ''airing out dirty laundry''.
Again, if the complains are really unsubstatiated, your use of the ''Asian massage'' counterexample, that according to you is present in ''every major city'', says otherwise. Why else would you counter example something that equals an urban myth with something that is according to you ''present in every major city''?
quote: Originally posted by Gaul: From the only things I've seen from you, you talk of supposed personal experiences which can't be rebutted. Just as you talk of "being disrespected by black men", and I can talk of teh black men that taught me at a young age to always open doors for ladies, the ones that have taken me under their wing in my profession, the ones that have been married to ONE woman for 30+ years until death, or the white guy I just saw shout at his lady to "hurry up bvitch!!" at a gas station.
You take my words out of context Gaul, I was talking about the odds of that happening compared to the odds of that happening with other ethnic groups. Furthermore, you give the example of positive black influences as if I've never had them, or as if I've said they don't exist. Please stop using strawmen. Thank you.
quote:Originally posted by Gaul: It's all he say/she say. My point is that if you percieve a problem, talk to one on your brothers and handle it "in house" rather than big mouthing to others what may or may not be true. Anyone with self-identic pride (and this is the crux of my argument to begin with) does this without having to be told. Have you travelled outside of the states much? That may help to see how other groups are with their own. For an Amharic or Oromo woman who might happen to live in South Africa, I would give a less than 2% chance that she will marry a man that is say, Xhosa, much less even speak of marrying or dating a white man while bad mouthing her own. Why? Well, I've typed enough lines on why. Hey, why don't you tell me? [Roll Eyes]
Stop comparing diasporal Africans with continental Africans. Also, stop comparing people with other cultural values and history with eachother. Different, is not better. Thank you.
quote: Originally posted by Gaul: Instead of replying to me childish links, pay attention to the one I sent you. It has everything to do with rampant perception black people have about their own communties that have been PROVEN by documentation to be FALSE. Which makes the big-mouthing even worse and low level of self-identic pride even more obvious amongst some of us.
Stop implying that your link does anything more than calling out the exaggeration of the problems, because it certainly doesn't prove they're not there. If it does, I'd like to see some research so I can adjust my ''perceptions''. Thank you
quote: Originally posted by Gaul: as this board is not even remotely meant for topics like this to begin with.
Take it up with the makers of these topics. Thank you
Frankly I can not believe this. Interracial relationships don't last especially between blacks and whites. This 'blog' is bullshyt. White men and black women don't get along. White men are selfish, megalomaniacs, lazy, and condescending. White women and white men relationships last longer and black women and black men relationship last longer. Black women are better off with a hispanic (nonwhite) than a fvcking cracker.
Posts: 2088 | Registered: Feb 2007
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by MissJennifer: to TruthCentric, I am curious what type of black women do you go for? what skin color, hairtype, features??
Here are some of my favorites to give you an idea of what I like:
Too bad majority of black women don't look like that. They are fat and sloppy with dirty hair weaves.
Posts: 2088 | Registered: Feb 2007
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by Recovering Afro-holic: since the moderator felt the need to censor my writing, I think I'll just lay in the cut and watch you loons without my help.
quote:Originally posted by xyyman: Where are those punk ass dudettes( Afro-nut and his crew)!!!
quote:Originally posted by Avee: [QUOTE]Not according to this study:
Self-Esteem of Ethnic Groups
In 2002, Jennifer Crocker and Jean Twenge conducted a “meta-analysis of studies of self-esteem.” They intended to discover which American ethnic group would score the highest on a self-esteem test. They also wanted to identify how each group’s self-esteem ranked in comparison to how positively society regarded that group. The researchers proceeded by making 712 self-esteem comparisons among five ethnic groups: Native Americans, Asian Americans, Latinos, African Americans and European Americans. The outcomes surprised Crocker and Twenge. They learned that African Americans scored the highest in the self-esteem category, but ranked last in the area of Society’s Positive Regard for the group. They concluded that African Americans consistently make positive statements about themselves even though society does not view them positively. European Americans were second, Latinos third, Native Americans fourth, and Asian Americans were last. Asian Americans’ ranking surprised the researchers because, outside of European Americans, the other groups hold them in high regard.
I didn't feel I needed to respond to this post. Just ignore it.
Posts: 2088 | Registered: Feb 2007
| IP: Logged |
quote:Asian and Hispanic women were not subjected to the historical abuse by White men as Black women have been, so they are obviously more willing to date/marry White men as a result.
As a young African American woman I have to disagree with this statement.
While, I am quite aware of the historical abuse by White men in the past because I make sure that I am educated about black history and history in general. I cannot relate to what black women went through hundreds of years ago. TODAY most white men are not raping or taking advantage of black women so most of the black wmoen in my age group are not using that as an excuse to date or not date outside their race. If anything I am more likely to be abused by a black man than a white man.
I am just tired of that excuse about what white men did hundreds of years ago to black women that are not here today being the reason why some black women dont date outside their race.
I most certainly wuold date outside my race if I by chance meet a white guy that I had similar interests with. But I don't live in an area where I have access to a lot of white men. I have had white men who had crushes on me before but they weren't my type and were much older
Why is it that it seems to be a fad among some black people (especially younger ones in my generation) nowadays to quickly air the dirty laundry of their own kind...
quote:If anything I am more likely to be abused by a black man than a white man.
while shouting to the world "Forget the past, I'm down with whitey" with strongly absolute statements like:
quote:I most certainly wuold date outside my race if I by chance meet a white guy that I had similar interests with.
???
I NEVER hear any other group of people speak with such a weak nationalistic attitude. In fact, even if other groups have problems, they will always bring out the best things about themselves, not the worst of the worst.
Is it just me who has noticed it's almost an "in" thing among black people (and not just ones in the diaspora, but continental ones as well) to go out of their way to show how accepting they are of ol' chalky while speaking the worst of their own??
No it's not just you. Everyone else notice it too and when I say both black men and women have low self-esteem [they] want to post so-called evidence to the contrary.
Posts: 2088 | Registered: Feb 2007
| IP: Logged |
UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!
![[Wink]](wink.gif)
![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
![[Confused]](confused.gif)
Printer-friendly view of this topic