posted
i have been chatting with an egyptian man for only 3 months now and he wants to marry me and move to egypt. He is sending me a plane ticket soon. He says he is divorced but has 3 kids. His ex wife chats with me too and she is very happy to hear that i will marry her ex husband. This is all very strange to me...How do i find out if he tells me the truth and really do love me. or is he simply wanting me to better his life and the lives of his children. thankyou
Posts: 13 | From: St.John's,Newfoundland,Canada | Registered: Jun 2002
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posted
How can you be sure it's his ex-wife that you're chatting to? It's unusual that she speaks and understands good English for her to understand the situation.
If it is his ex-wife, then he will be sharing your money/savings with her and the children. You'll be seen as the mistress.
Or it could be his sister or a hotel receptionist fluent in tourist English you have been speaking to.
Wait until he sends your plane ticket. Is the plane ticket an open ticket, return, one way? I assume it is a ticket which he buys in Egypt but can be used by someone living outside Egypt?
If he does send it, then use it and have a holiday at his expense where you can meet his family and friends and see the area where he lives. Book yourself into a medium class hotel.
But how can you be sure it is actually HIS family you are visiting? It could be the family of his friend, then that way you are hidden from his real family.
He simply wants you to better his life and the lives of his children, in one way or another....I think he is doing some sort of business, it almost sounds as a "deal", and 2 main reasons are that he is bying u ticket and in this way he wants to make sure that you dont discover that he is with u 4 any gain....otherwise why would he offer u to buy a ticket,more likely.... this is how is he convincing u, so u dont have any excuse to say "no". Another point is his ex wife, more likely he was scared that you will find out the real story, so he either found somebody to make u belive SHE IS HIS EX, or he had some sort of deal WITH his wife, maybe to marry u to gain what he can and than to dump u while still remaining with her, or simply having 2 wifes, you and her, which u will maybe never discover, or you will find out when is too late to go back. I doubt they are divorced, if his story is true....than he probably told her that he has no intention to keep u 4 long time, so its business, not love. Why would he try sooo hard to bring u over there, only after 3 months? Why is he in such hurry? Why would he involve his ex wife in all this? .......Why would his ex wife agree to make friendship with u? What is that..... which makes them to do all this? Why is he convincing you so hard? Does he think that his ex wife was necessary to be involved....in order 4 u to belive him? If yes, why he thinks you would not belive him if the ex wife doesnt talk to u?
I would not go there, but if u still belive that this man loves u and tells u the truth, why dont u take somebody with u, maybe a male friend, cousin or brother, or maybe........somebody who speaks Arabic so u are not alone. Anyway, you already have some doubts about his true intentions, I think you will discover soon what they were. As long as you are not emotionally involved too quickly, they really can not do nothing about it. So, u have a power. And ask him a lots of questions.....
quote:Originally posted by Ultimate Friend: I agree. How do u be so sure that his x-wife is chatting with you not him.
Online, I can Housni Moubarak If I would like to.
Take care. Take Care. Take Care.
thankyou for your reply....i know it is a woman i am chatting with because we bothe use web cams. She still wears a wedding ring and so does he. I asked him about it and his reply was that it is normal for men to wear rings wether married or not.
quote:Originally posted by sunshine36x: thankyou for your reply....i know it is a woman i am chatting with because we bothe use web cams. She still wears a wedding ring and so does he. I asked him about it and his reply was that it is normal for men to wear rings wether married or not.
quote:Originally posted by wise_woman: How can you be sure it's his ex-wife that you're chatting to? It's unusual that she speaks and understands good English for her to understand the situation.
If it is his ex-wife, then he will be sharing your money/savings with her and the children. You'll be seen as the mistress.
Or it could be his sister or a hotel receptionist fluent in tourist English you have been speaking to.
Wait until he sends your plane ticket. Is the plane ticket an open ticket, return, one way? I assume it is a ticket which he buys in Egypt but can be used by someone living outside Egypt?
If he does send it, then use it and have a holiday at his expense where you can meet his family and friends and see the area where he lives. Book yourself into a medium class hotel.
But how can you be sure it is actually HIS family you are visiting? It could be the family of his friend, then that way you are hidden from his real family.
I'm curious as to the age difference between you?
thankyou for your reply, i know it is a woman i chat with because we use webcams. the age difference between myself and him is 3 years, i am the older. He has sent me a picture of his 3 kids and i have met them on webcam with his supposedly ex wife. he is an influencial man in egypt with power and money so why do he want me? I asked him this question and he answered me saying he does not want any woman he wants me. My heart wants to believe him but my head doesn't.
posted
Can we assume you are both in your 40's? If he is an influential man in Egypt then he must be in his 40's if not 50's.
This whole thing just sounds so completely WRONG, and the only comment I have about the other woman is that I can almost 99% guarantee she won't be his X-wife in the same meaning we, from the western world, mean it. If she were, why are they at the same house using the same computer and web cam? All too often (almost 100% of the time) the "separated" men I meet on the computer, NEVER live separately from their wives. I'm not real sure why they call themselves separated, unless it is a term they think western women will fall for. They seem to ALWAYS live in the same household as their wife, and children still, and claim to sleep in a different room. Who knows on that count?
Anyway, the woman in this story smells fishy to me. If they were truly divorced, they likely wouldn't be this friendly and certainly wouldn't be enticing a western woman to come be a step mom to her children. It really really doesn't make sense.
I would love to be part of a scheme to bust this bastard if you can come up with something those of us over here can do to catch him. Let me know.
quote:Originally posted by Debbie: Can we assume you are both in your 40's? If he is an influential man in Egypt then he must be in his 40's if not 50's.
This whole thing just sounds so completely WRONG, and the only comment I have about the other woman is that I can almost 99% guarantee she won't be his X-wife in the same meaning we, from the western world, mean it. If she were, why are they at the same house using the same computer and web cam? All too often (almost 100% of the time) the "separated" men I meet on the computer, NEVER live separately from their wives. I'm not real sure why they call themselves separated, unless it is a term they think western women will fall for. They seem to ALWAYS live in the same household as their wife, and children still, and claim to sleep in a different room. Who knows on that count?
Anyway, the woman in this story smells fishy to me. If they were truly divorced, they likely wouldn't be this friendly and certainly wouldn't be enticing a western woman to come be a step mom to her children. It really really doesn't make sense.
I would love to be part of a scheme to bust this bastard if you can come up with something those of us over here can do to catch him. Let me know.
thankyou Debbie for your reply, i would love to catch him too(haha). when i chat to him and then to her, the rooms in the background r different, but i too have my doubts of their divorce. He says he is 33 and had started his buisnesses at age 15. he owns a factory where they make detergents and cosmetics, and a buisness in advertising and marketing. He said he is best friends with his ex wife because they have 3 children together and they r partners in the buisness.He tells me that he will open up a buisness for me and i will be owner. My email address is shiny3602@icqmail.com i hope we can come up with a way to catch him. hope to hear from u soon. thankyou for your help in giving me a little more insight into how manipulative men can be.
posted
Is this posting for real or is it just a sick joke! If you are for real Sunshine, please, wake up and smell the rat!!!!!!!!!!!! I don’t even know why all these other people are telling you to be cautious ... they should be informing you of what it really is ... a sleazy, low-down attempt by an Egyptian male to bag himself some bucks. This really is a great example of how sneaky these Egyptian men can be, although I’ve tried to explain this in other postings and have been shot-down!! As for his claim that he’s an influential man with power and money, well you just have to have lived in Egypt a while to realize what a joke that comment is! AussieBoy.
Posts: 134 | From: Cairo, Egypt | Registered: Jun 2002
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posted
I cannot believe what I've been reading on this post..Some people deserve to fall in for this sort of hoax/trap...we're wasting our time with this ridiculous subject.
Posts: 1516 | From: Cairo | Registered: Oct 2001
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quote:Originally posted by primak: I cannot believe what I've been reading on this post..Some people deserve to fall in for this sort of hoax/trap...we're wasting our time with this ridiculous subject.
primrak as ridiculous as it may sound to you. I have found the answers very imformative and helped me a great deal. And nobody deserves to fall into any hoax by any man or woman.
posted
Sunshine, My comments weren't meant to be insults, even tho I agree they did come across that way. Please accept my apologies. I was just blown away by your writing and the fact that anyone could possibly believe they weren't being duped. My curiosity is...what...in any of this...could possibly make you believe you would have a decent, productive life with this person?
quote:Originally posted by MoDoc: Sunshine, My comments weren't meant to be insults, even tho I agree they did come across that way. Please accept my apologies. I was just blown away by your writing and the fact that anyone could possibly believe they weren't being duped. My curiosity is...what...in any of this...could possibly make you believe you would have a decent, productive life with this person?
modoc, i was brought up to believe that there is goodness in everyone, but the fact remains that life teaches you that this is not always the case. my heart believed at first...why i do not know, but my head is telling me the same things you are all telling me....my head will win out over my heart...i am a logical thinker and never make hasty irrational moves of this magnitude. i can assure you that i will not be coming to egypt to marry, but may in the future come there for a visit. i find it difficult to believe people can be this corrupt and i had never known anyone of this nature before....so i guess i was an easy target....i am not familiar with egyptian life or egyptian men, but this web site has enlightened me and have educated me and for that i am very grateful to everyone's response.
posted
While I agree that the story sounds too icredible to believe, I still don't understand what the scheme is. Anyone?
Posts: 376 | From: El Minia, Egypt | Registered: Nov 2001
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quote:Originally posted by D Advocate: While I agree that the story sounds too icredible to believe, I still don't understand what the scheme is. Anyone?
posted
I think, although I could be real wrong, that he and his female friend (married or just buddies that enjoy a good joke) are having fun with sunshine, at her expense. I personally doubt there are really tickets being bought to bring her to Egypt, and if I were sunshine, I might press for that to see what he'll do when pushed. My money says he'll never really produce a ticket to fly to Egypt....but who knows?
Posts: 3246 | From: Heliopolis, Cairo, Egypt | Registered: Mar 2001
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posted
why dont we try to help her out locally and investigate on this person instead of criticizing and attaccking her???Im sure she still has doubts and her mind will never rest until shes sure...Im sure someone can help if given names and details of this conartist
Posts: 148 | From: Cairo, Egypt | Registered: Jun 2001
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posted
I thought about that, but what could anyone here do? What would she believe if we told her anything? I think the best thing to do is to push for the tickets and see if he doesn't worm out of it someway. That way she can tell for herself what's what. If someone has a constructive plan to catch him, speak up.
Posts: 3246 | From: Heliopolis, Cairo, Egypt | Registered: Mar 2001
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posted
Here's what the scheme sounds like to me, since I know countless people in my home country who have gone through similar experiences. Tell me if you guys think I'm crazy:
1. Mr. Cairo is still married to Mrs. X. No separation, no divorce.
2. Mr. Cairo and Mrs. X and their three children want to acquire a) money or, b) visas to the U.S. or some western country.
3. Mr Cairo probably doesn't even own a detergent/cosmetic company. Who's ever heard of that combination anyway?
4. Mr. Cairo and Mrs. X have decided to dupe some innocent foreigner into falling for Mr. Cairo, in the hopes she'll come, marry him (Pls note!!! AS A SECOND WIFE!!!) and give him access to obtaining a visa.
5. Mr. Cairo leaves Mrs. X (maybe, maybe not the three children) to leave with Miss Sunshine to go abroad. Once there, once with a greencard, he divorces/leaves Miss Sunshine to be able to bring Mrs. X and three kids back with him.
I dunno - it's just what I think the deal is.
I'm glad you're becoming aware, Miss Sunshine. You seem like too nice a person adn shouldn't be taken for a ride... If it's too bizarre to sound true, and you have doubts - dont do it.
Your God given instinct is everything. If you sense something is wrong, it is.
Best of luck and i hope you find a man who is truly deserving of your honest and loyal nature.
Posts: 682 | From: The United States of America | Registered: Jan 2002
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posted
Why don't you ask him the name of his company? If he's the president - It should be easy to find out. I'm sure someone in Cairo can find out the company info anyway. And, once known, details of the president (Especially if he's the founder) should be easy to figure out....
Posts: 682 | From: The United States of America | Registered: Jan 2002
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posted
In Egypt we have this saying "*7alleek ma3a el kaddab le7ad bab el dar". Liertally translated as: "Stay with the liar to the door of the house". The meaning of this proverb is to keep going with the liar but only up to a point. Sunshine may still have some distance to go before she reaches this point.
Posts: 376 | From: El Minia, Egypt | Registered: Nov 2001
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quote:Originally posted by ajnabi: Here's what the scheme sounds like to me, since I know countless people in my home country who have gone through similar experiences. Tell me if you guys think I'm crazy:
1. Mr. Cairo is still married to Mrs. X. No separation, no divorce.
2. Mr. Cairo and Mrs. X and their three children want to acquire a) money or, b) visas to the U.S. or some western country.
3. Mr Cairo probably doesn't even own a detergent/cosmetic company. Who's ever heard of that combination anyway?
4. Mr. Cairo and Mrs. X have decided to dupe some innocent foreigner into falling for Mr. Cairo, in the hopes she'll come, marry him (Pls note!!! AS A SECOND WIFE!!!) and give him access to obtaining a visa.
5. Mr. Cairo leaves Mrs. X (maybe, maybe not the three children) to leave with Miss Sunshine to go abroad. Once there, once with a greencard, he divorces/leaves Miss Sunshine to be able to bring Mrs. X and three kids back with him.
I dunno - it's just what I think the deal is.
I'm glad you're becoming aware, Miss Sunshine. You seem like too nice a person adn shouldn't be taken for a ride... If it's too bizarre to sound true, and you have doubts - dont do it.
Your God given instinct is everything. If you sense something is wrong, it is.
Best of luck and i hope you find a man who is truly deserving of your honest and loyal nature.
thankyou for your replies but my story is now over. I put him to the test and he failed it. my doubts have now been confirmed. I am happy to say i will not be going to egypt to marry this man.
Did you ever figure out WHY these ppl did this? I suspect the bottom line is for money, but I wonder what the truth is about their relationship, etc.
I am sorry you had to go thru something like this. Experience is the best teacher even if it bites you at first, it can serve to save you later from BIG mistakes.
Did you ever figure out WHY these ppl did this? I suspect the bottom line is for money, but I wonder what the truth is about their relationship, etc.
I am sorry you had to go thru something like this. Experience is the best teacher even if it bites you at first, it can serve to save you later from BIG mistakes.
Regards, Modoc
sorry i do not know what their motives were...but i asked alot of questions and in response all i got was that i was no longer the same person. I told him my logic side has kicked in now and i asked for more time. He took this as an grave insult against him and would not give me time....there was my answer i needed. as for what he would gain from me i do not know....i do not have lots of money. Maybe in some way having me would increase his wealth...how i do not know either...thanks for youe replies
posted
sunshine.....More likely.....Its not over yet. He is going to wait 2 days and he will contact you again......you know why? He will talk to his "wife" and they will figure out that they invested so much time talking to u and they also introduced their children to you......they will try again, as they know now that you were advised by someone.......and if this "second" time you reject him, he will never contact you again....he will look for another one. So, you will be in the corner.....again, because this time he will come up with "different story" that will make you feel either "guilty" or "sorry" how much you hurt them because of your "new behavior". This guy you are dealing with is much "smarter" than you can imagine, because if he had courage to come up with all he told you, loooool.....he is "professional". Still you are the one who is in power, as long as your emotions dont interfere with "logic" you are fine. You can love someone but that does not mean that you are "stupid"......and you may even feel he really loves you, but if this man really really loves you, his "ex wife" would be out of picture,(physically and emotionally) as he would feel its none of her bussines whom he "loves", so the point is that his MOTIVE to be with you was not originally out of love,... you have something he needs, and it has something to do with you as "foreign" lady. I really think, it does not have to be "money", but it is some "gain" that he sees in the future. I dont think this story is over....and he will give you more time, but time does not change the "facts". If I were in your place, I would not give 1 more minute of my time......but maybe you developed over 3 months some feelings so I am considering that as well and ......If you really need to know what you are serching to know in order to feel comfortable to move on with your life......, you would have to change the "story" that you told him about yourself which made him feel you are the one that fits in his plans. Once you change the story, looool......you will see who he is... And that is how u can discover all you wanted to know, and I guess you want to know if he really has feelings for you, or all this was just a "game". Its very difficult to move on if a woman thinks that man truly liked her. One way to discover truth is "joking".....You can tell him out of joke, but that he feels you are serious...this is just example..... (you have three children from ex husband, and.... is he willing to accept you and three children plus his three.....loool...(thats six children and maybe you would want a few with him )...and if you really love me as you said you do, my children will make no difference, (anyway you have 3 kids so we are really perfect 4 each other)and we want all to come to Egypt....anyway you are rich man, so we need four plane tickets instead of 1....your children are going to College so they need to continue education, they dont speak Arabic, so they need to be in "American University") so I am sure you will be able to support all of us...$$$$$$$$ ...haha....and than u tell him, think about it and let me know, yes or no, and I give you 24 hours to make decision)....so now he will be in the same position as you....Later on.....when he stops calling you, you write him email and tell him, I was just joking...but now I see how much u love me.....and forget about him once forever. haha...I am bad, am I? Dont let man chose you, but you chose what kind of man you want. The man who loves, he will pass all tests! And the man who loves you will not want to lose you 4 any reasons whatsoever(except if you cheat)and some accept even this act(depending on their marriage philosophies), as he belive you are the most beautiful woman on this Planet 4 him. When you are searching for the truth, you question his statements back and forth in many directions.......from different angels....
posted
I am really sorry Sunshine, I can be of no help, but this things should not happen. Just think that they do not deserve that you think about them a single second. Good luck for the future!! Talk to you around.
Posts: 932 | From: España | Registered: Jun 2002
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posted
Sunshine, I know of someone this happened to and what they did(husband and wife) decided he would marry someone from the USA in hopes that they would both get to come here ...anyway long story made short it did not work out for him and his wife. Debbie
Posts: 2 | From: Battle Creek Mi USA | Registered: Jun 2002
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quote:Originally posted by Justme: Sunshine, I know of someone this happened to and what they did(husband and wife) decided he would marry someone from the USA in hopes that they would both get to come here ...anyway long story made short it did not work out for him and his wife. Debbie
it would be interesting to know if it were the same husband and wife...hahaha. the ex wife has contacted me twice, but i do not answer her messages and i have them both deleted from my contact lists.....thanks everyone
quote:Originally posted by Miss Sarajevo: sunshine.....More likely.....Its not over yet. He is going to wait 2 days and he will contact you again......you know why? He will talk to his "wife" and they will figure out that they invested so much time talking to u and they also introduced their children to you......they will try again, as they know now that you were advised by someone.......and if this "second" time you reject him, he will never contact you again....he will look for another one. So, you will be in the corner.....again, because this time he will come up with "different story" that will make you feel either "guilty" or "sorry" how much you hurt them because of your "new behavior". This guy you are dealing with is much "smarter" than you can imagine, because if he had courage to come up with all he told you, loooool.....he is "professional". Still you are the one who is in power, as long as your emotions dont interfere with "logic" you are fine. You can love someone but that does not mean that you are "stupid"......and you may even feel he really loves you, but if this man really really loves you, his "ex wife" would be out of picture,(physically and emotionally) as he would feel its none of her bussines whom he "loves", so the point is that his MOTIVE to be with you was not originally out of love,... you have something he needs, and it has something to do with you as "foreign" lady. I really think, it does not have to be "money", but it is some "gain" that he sees in the future. I dont think this story is over....and he will give you more time, but time does not change the "facts". If I were in your place, I would not give 1 more minute of my time......but maybe you developed over 3 months some feelings so I am considering that as well and ......If you really need to know what you are serching to know in order to feel comfortable to move on with your life......, you would have to change the "story" that you told him about yourself which made him feel you are the one that fits in his plans. Once you change the story, looool......you will see who he is... And that is how u can discover all you wanted to know, and I guess you want to know if he really has feelings for you, or all this was just a "game". Its very difficult to move on if a woman thinks that man truly liked her. One way to discover truth is "joking".....You can tell him out of joke, but that he feels you are serious...this is just example..... (you have three children from ex husband, and.... is he willing to accept you and three children plus his three.....loool...(thats six children and maybe you would want a few with him )...and if you really love me as you said you do, my children will make no difference, (anyway you have 3 kids so we are really perfect 4 each other)and we want all to come to Egypt....anyway you are rich man, so we need four plane tickets instead of 1....your children are going to College so they need to continue education, they dont speak Arabic, so they need to be in "American University") so I am sure you will be able to support all of us...$$$$$$$$ ...haha....and than u tell him, think about it and let me know, yes or no, and I give you 24 hours to make decision)....so now he will be in the same position as you....Later on.....when he stops calling you, you write him email and tell him, I was just joking...but now I see how much u love me.....and forget about him once forever. haha...I am bad, am I? Dont let man chose you, but you chose what kind of man you want. The man who loves, he will pass all tests! And the man who loves you will not want to lose you 4 any reasons whatsoever(except if you cheat)and some accept even this act(depending on their marriage philosophies), as he belive you are the most beautiful woman on this Planet 4 him. When you are searching for the truth, you question his statements back and forth in many directions.......from different angels....
he has contacted me like u said, about a week and a half later. it was only small talk and he said we r still friends....yea right(hahaha). anyway, the 2 times he contacted me i kept it short and ended the conversations. I am getting a feeling that he may show up here in my city because of some questions he asked, anyway it is only a feeling.
I told u....... Now, if he asked u questions that makes you feel he will show up in your city, he would have to have "visa" first, so you just play cool, let him talk, so u see what is he up to. Dont show any interests whatsoever so he will be pressured to put all his cards on the table. Now, it seems to me that they changed plan, instead of you going there, they figured out, that it would be much better that he comes by himself and probably he would ask u to marry him and stay with you in your city. Wife and kids would remain in Egypt, and he would send them money......Maybe this was their original plan, but they did not know how to approach it. He can even divorce her over there just to be able to marry u.....His "wife" seems to be so confident in her "husband" because she is helping him. More likely, he promised her to be with u , send the money to "her", and after he gets legal status, divorce u, and bring her....or go back by himself, and they dreams came true.....He can marry 4 wifes, not 1, and she knows that, she doesnt care, if he give her money........she knows he will come back to her anyway. I think he will be now main player, and wife will be not so involved, she is not "needed", if u know what I mean. He will not give up, because he wants it so much. More you are in contact with him, more he is under your skin, so you have to kind of start thinking.... I think u deserve more than this, and u know how many good guys are out there, oh.....u need somebody who is sincere, truthfull, and faithfull with whom u can have real life. You already know he did not tell u truth, because the "common sense" was missing in his story, you dont even need to know what is true or what is not, the point is he intended to "deceive u". With a lier, u are always "deceived", u can never know what is next, u can never know him because he lies about anything, the truth is his enemy, u know what I mean......he hates truth, because it discovers his true self. They are in the beginning like angels, they do everything 4 u to gain your trust, once they get it, oh man u cant belive your eyes,you are torn between emotional feelings and reality, you see it but u dont want to belive it, they take advantage of you, dont care for your feelings, dont care what u want, they lie all the time...and tell others to cover them and lie 4 them as well....but this is not 4ever. When u discover, than they became like "evil", they blame you for all, make u like u are the one who is "bad". They never admit. They are actors.They put the mask on, the one they want u to belive. Anyway, I am pretty confident that in short time this relationship will be ended totally, and it will be you who ended it.You deserve soooooo much more than this.
[/b][/QUOTE] he has contacted me like u said, about a week and a half later. it was only small talk and he said we r still friends....yea right(hahaha). anyway, the 2 times he contacted me i kept it short and ended the conversations. I am getting a feeling that he may show up here in my city because of some questions he asked, anyway it is only a feeling.
posted
Request He Send Photos Of His Relationship And Events He Shared Together With His Wife !!
Posts: 6 | From: Swaziland South Africa | Registered: Jan 2004
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Your message is so great. It seems that You know Man or lier very well. I still don't know the real face after the mast of my boyfriend (He is not Eyptian).
Fox
Posts: 47 | From: Hong Kong | Registered: Nov 2003
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UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!
sunshine36x:
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