What is his level of education? does he have a decent job? do you know his wiews towards women, and his views towards foreigners? do you know his religious beliefs? will you be working in Egypt? will you be his 'only' wife and the mother of his children? will you live with his family, or only with him?

Meeting his family is a good sign, but not a 'definite'commitment yet.

Enjoy your Easter holidays!
Monica

quote:

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Originally posted by kay in love:
OK I am new to this so sorry if I repete questions or threads.
First off thanks to all for a great forum. I have learnt lots just looking but now feel I want to share and see what others think!
I love Egypt and the people. I went to the Red Sea just before Christmas, had fab time and then met someone!!!! He is Egyptian same age as me 30,s we had great time I thought just a holiday romance. We swaped phone numbers, and I thought maybe I would get a call maybe not. I have lots of calls, web chats, emails, three or four a day, personalised text messages and invitations to go and stay! not what I expected. We have got to be good friends and seem to get on well, he has never asked me for anything exept my time. I am planning to go back for 2 weeks at easter to see if I am being a romantic fool for beliving him or if maybe this is for real. I have all the doubts you can think of, he has a different girl every two weeks, he just wants money etc. The only way I can think of to find out what this relationship is is to go back and see him. He has invited me to meet his mum and sister I take this as a good sign????
Sorry if this is an often heard story but I can really see myself living in Egypt regardless of this guy and wether it works out or not. Thanks for listening look forward to hearing from you. XXX

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Just the fact that he wants to open his own business (and especially a bar of all places) just about now... when he met you, makes me feel a bit suspicious. Heard this story before. And after a while he will try to make you his business partner....yep!
Tricky business let me tell you!

I tend to agree with Shareen 100%.

Lock your heart indeed! forget the romantic blabber for the moment, and give it time. Be very aware of the consequences in case you trust too quickly...do not invest a penny.

Try a great trick: say you have debts and no cash at all available, and no credit cards anymore.

Sorry if I sound really negative, but it's not only this message board that is FULL of broken dreams, but people I know that went for the sweet sms, and the honey dipped chats...etc..etc...

Looks like we're in the same boat... I met an Anglo-Egyptian (has an MBA, great family , is very successful)in Cairo nearly 5 yrs ago,we had a wonderful relationship (long distance, email, letters, phone calls etc.,). Anyway, long story short, he asked me to marry him during the middle stages of our relationship, I regret not saying yes. I can not get over him or Egypt. I had (& still have not)never felt that way about anyone in my life. Life got a little crazy (busy) for the both of us, so we slowly broke apart, he tried to contact me 8 mos later, but I had eloped (REBOUND!!!!!!!!) and didn't want him to know b/c of course I still felt madly in love w/ him. I too plan on moving there w/in two yrs. I am finally going through my divorce (SO HAPPY!!), once final I can begin to make plans.

quote:

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Originally posted by esposible:
Shareen,

You said that the guy can say his wife is his sister. Would he do that without the wife knowing that he is presenting her as his sister or what? Wow!
Good luck Kay

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Well she might not speak English so has no idea what he is saying or he might tell you the relationships before you get there and then present them by name only. Or she might even know and see this as a way of bettering the future of the whole family.

I like to think I am a success story but recently this has rebounded on me because people have looked at me and thought their relationship is also a positive one. Please, please beware there are very few good men working in the tourist area.

My Egyptian husband is automatically suspicious of anyone working in Hurgada and says they are all liars there. He also says that only where a mans family lives can you really get to know him because all his exteneded family are keeping an eye on the situation and monitering it so he can't behave as badly as when he is alone in a tourist town. Even then it is unlikely you will met a good guy.

In fact he says he knows of very very few Western/Egyptian relationships that work or even could work because the woman is so ignorant about Arab/Egyptian/Muslim culture and makes all sorts of assumptions that just don't work out here.

Like the other I think the bar story is a softener to an eventual plea for money.

I would like to be proved wrong but my recent experience with girls that have met up with Egyptians is not very positive.

You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find a prince.

Everything everyone has already told you to watch out for are good red flags to hold up. The other thing you said that may indicate player is that he dresses nice. That may or may not be an indicator, but if he is dressed well, carries the latest mobile phone and other accessories, don't for one minute believe that his job is so well paid that he can afford those clothes and those toys. It's more likely he has girlfriends bringing them to him from abroad.

It hadn't occured to me when I read your post about the bar business, but right after Monica brought it to our attention, I thought, EXACTLY....that is a common ploy for these players too.... have a business venture that they want you to invest in that would make them happy and independant finally. And, he will start the business if you fund it (it isn't just a ploy to separate you from your money) but you may or may not ever see any of the profits (if there are any) from the business.

And to second Janes answer about the wife pretending to be his sister....of course she will. #1 - She may have been raised in a family with more than one wife for her father, or at least to believe that it's ok, and she wouldn't think twice about you coming on board as wife #2 to support the whole family. #2 - like they said she may or may not speak English, you probably don't speak Arabic, so he can dupe the whole lot of you if he wants to.

Never forget that the family unit is VERY strong and important in Egypt. It is the rare Egyptian man that would put his girlfriends needs ahead of his families needs.

Now back to something you said in your first post that I liked alot and thought to myself, "now she sounds like me" about.

quote:

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Sorry if this is an often heard story but I can really see myself living in Egypt regardless of this guy and wether it works out or not.

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quote:

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Originally posted by kay in love:
thankyou. thankyou. thankyou!
for all your replies. You have given me so much to think about. I am still going to go at easter but now feel a bit more aware of what to watch out for. I am a mature student so the possibility of him getting any money out of me is 0. im like all students in uk - really upto my eyes in debt so i wont even have to lie on that score and will make him aware of this when i see him. The odds are that he is a player but armed with all your good advice and a tiny bit of hope maybe i have found the only honest man on the red sea!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i will be careful and i will keep you posted. much love kay

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I am sure we are glad to have helped and opened your eyes to the possibilites.Do let us know howit goes and enjoy Egypt it is a lovely country.

quote:

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Originally posted by kay in love:
thankyou. thankyou. thankyou!
for all your replies. You have given me so much to think about. I am still going to go at easter but now feel a bit more aware of what to watch out for. I am a mature student so the possibility of him getting any money out of me is 0. im like all students in uk - really upto my eyes in debt so i wont even have to lie on that score and will make him aware of this when i see him. The odds are that he is a player but armed with all your good advice and a tiny bit of hope maybe i have found the only honest man on the red sea!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i will be careful and i will keep you posted. much love kay

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Thats exactly the answer I wanted to hear Kay!! You go girl, get out there, have a lot of fun!! Take each day as it comes, and enjoy every minute. Keep your hand on your purse and the lock on your heart and take it for what it probably is. Fun, flattering and happy, and if it turns out to be more, then count your blessings and have a wonderful life!
If he is a player, then go and play, egyptian men arent the only ones who are good at playing

I wish you luck and happiness, get that degree and the world will be your oyster!

quote:

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Originally posted by Shareen:
His sister may be his wife etc etc. His family will welcome you, but not necessarily because he loves you, but maybe because you could help to give them a better life.

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quote:

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Originally posted by Jamilah:
Is it possible for a christian Egyptian? may be it looks silly but i wonder know this in order to protect my friend not to be blind...
Waiting for your reply!!!!

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Hmmmmmmm where was that thread about "chat up lines"?....

"I saw you in my dreams last night"

i speak some arabic, i have studied it. i also have an egyptian boyfriend, and he invited me to meet his family in luxor in february. he swears to me (by allah) that he has no egyptian wife! that i'm the only one. he has never asked anything from me. he knows that i would understand arabic, and i would even be able to speak with his eventual wife!

it is so difficult to tell if someone is telling the truth or not. i have very bad experiences of 100 % egyptian liars!!! i'm not so blue-eyed and blind anymore. but still - how can you tell!!!

he has his own business, in hurghada. it means then that he is a big liar then, should i take it like this? nothing good comes from hurghada, and that's it. there are no good men there?! (i know that this is NOT true, cause i have met some very, very nice and serious men, who have NOT run after all foreign females, but they have WORKED WELL with their busineses!)

what are the keys to a happy relationship anyway? here on the board, you always say that the european women don't understand the egyptian ways thinking. that they are not even interested. all they want to do is to float up in the air, on happy pink clouds. i don't know..

i'm also fed up of the egyptians thinking that european women are sharmutas, whores. i don't think i need to be ashamed of my culture, and life in my country! i'm not talking or thinking bag things about them! my heart is pure, and i'm not a liar. i'm not purposely trying to hurt anyone else, or trying to cheat anybody in any way. but i'm a whore - because i'm european. great..

quote:

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Originally posted by jaguar:
This is amazing... not many mentions anything about the women who come all the way to Egypt, humiliating themselves for the sake of a juicy holiday. Let me be more specific about Luxor, lots of foreign women beg for anything that is wearing a pair of trousers- GALABIA is more erogenous for them. They ask for it. If in doubt,,,, DUCK.

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I did not like your comment either Jaguar, nor did I find it amusing

I'm just wondering, can you have muslim friends and believe one word of this stuff?

Ok, I had a muslim friend, we used to live in different countries, i looked for sites in order to get info about everything, that's why i found ES from where i got answers to almost all my questions at the same time asking muslim friends about this or that.

Now we are not together but i'm still here because i like people on this board for their warm and kind attitude to me and their attention in right and needed time... But of couse i have my own opinion about what other people say and if I ask this or that kind of question it doesn't mean exactly that i believe in everything what they say.

As for christians, my friend has a boyfriend who is christian and lives in Egypt. That is the reason why i'm curious

quote:

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Originally posted by karinfarid:
Jamilah, honey
why do you prefer to read islam-phobic christian combat propaganda, instead of asking the Muslims themselves?

I'm just wondering, can you have muslim friends and believe one word of this stuff?

salaam, karin

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some friends here are suffering from differences between cultures, and that they r treated like whores , sorry for expression , but it is just because u didn't choose the right category of the society to deal with , if u have the option to choose, we also egyptians may find this conflict, it is a matter of differences between socity categories, : may be adoula and monica can express this idea more than me , (they have a gift in demonstrating their ideas) , when u r dealing with a society, so u r the unit , and it is the structure, so u can not be a different unit in a homogenious structure, so try to be more familiar with its habbit, ased on my own experience, i have some friends living in egypt here, and they are living so normally and they don't have any problems.
jamilah, i totally disagree about the relation between muslim and christians. it is against nature, but it is possible, rather complex, so why do we complicate our life, anyway , i am a muslim , and i will be more than happy to answer any of ur question .
do u know ? my best friendship ever was with a christian girl , she was more than a sister to me, and i didn't felt i am close to someone like her, because , we knew that we can not be more than friends or brothers and sis. , so everything was totally pure and aimed towards friendship

quote:

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Originally posted by BoBBoSS:

jamilah, i totally disagree about the relation between muslim and christians. it is against nature, but it is possible, rather complex, so why do we complicate our life, anyway , i am a muslim , and i will be more than happy to answer any of ur question .

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BOBBoSS, you think that a 'relation' between a Muslim and a Christian is against nature? And by 'relation', you mean marriage I guess.

So, what is natural to you? can you explain please? Is it not the same GOD for all?? And aren't we all HIS children?

I do not recall ever reading that 'against nature' part, in any of the Holy books! Please enlighten me (nawarny). Thanks.

Also, as a Muslim what is your opinion about Sufism? that could be interesting to discuss, as SUFISM is controversially believed - by some - to be part of the Islamic religion. Do you think for example, that a marriage between a Sufi and a Muslim is natural? What about a marriage between a Sunni Muslim and a Shiite Muslim?

What about a marriage between a Coptic Christian and an Catholic Christian, or a Protestant Christian? would that be natural?
Always so many questions Hoping to get answers and if not, I'll understand.

To Kay in love, all the religions/sects, I mentionned, do exist in Egypt by the way. Surely a small percentage of the population -part of 6%/ 70 million, as per some statistics, but nevertheless they do exist.

Karinfarid, would you give your opinion?

BoBBoSS, Kol sana wenta taieb, by the way!
Monica

BTW we enty tayeba monica, thanks so much dear.

1- The Church will not accept her as a Christian unless she provides a written affidavit, with the Pope's blessings -Catholic - by the Muslim father, that his children will be raised Christians.

2- If the Muslim is against that matter,as a Muslim, and the Christian woman accepts that her marriage to the Muslim will deprive her from official Christian duties, then the children will be raised as Muslims, as per their father's religion.

3- If the Muslim man does not ask the Christian woman to convert to Islam, and she keeps her own religion in her heart, but decides to make sure her children are raised the Islamic way -respecting the father's wishes out of love for him- through teachers and guidance, then they will be raised as Muslims by a Christian mother.

4- If the Muslim father is an educated and progressive man, he will also enlighten his children about their mother's religion - with all details, raising them to understand that other religions do exist and they are acknowledged by Islam.

5- When the children are raised as Muslims but understand about other religions, and are well informed, they will always be grateful to their father for never putting down their mother's religion. Isn't a mother's love crucial to children's well being? Thus, how can you hate your mother because she is from another religion, if your own father loved her and married her.

6- Some Christian women embrace Islam when marrying a Muslim man. Some do it out of real belief/ sudden burst of faith/ and some do it to avoid complications, but in their heart they keep their own religion always.

7- When a Muslim woman decides to marry a Christian man, in general, to avoid complications also, it is decided with her future husband, that he converts to Islam sometimes only ON PAPER, not to cause his loving bride any religious, social and psychological confusion, as well as complications, which sometimes are way too complex. And, sometimes he converts, convinced, out of a sudden burst of faith.

I can go on forever, and nothing from the above was 'copied' or/and pasted from anywhere, it is from pure REALITY and parts are from my own life in Egypt!

About my questions ( Sufi, Sunni etc...) again, it is just for discussion purposes and all in good spirit.

quote:

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Originally posted by BoBBoSS:
waaw monica, your questions are really difficult BTW we enty tayeba monica, thanks so much dear.

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It occurs between persons from different religious traditions. It also can happen between two persons from different denominations within the same religion.

Monica, yes, all the cases U have mentioned is true, and there is more.

There are no general rules that fit all (or even most) inter-faith couples. The degree of differences and amount of conflict vary widely from country to country, from community to community and even from family to family.

Here are some common techniques for resolving religious differences in a marriage. There may be more which I dont know or may be I don't have time to think about it.

1- Both spouses withdraw from organized religious activity. They might avoid religious discussions within their marriage.

2- One spouse converts to the religion of the other. This is allowed in some countries like most of Europe and even Malaysia. But in some other countries is not allowed.

3- Both spouses convert to a compromise religion. This could be a denomination "half-way" between their original religions.

This is better if the two persons from different denominations within the same religion.

If two people are in love and have thought of all the things that could arise with the marriage and know that there is nothing they couldn’t over come then there should be no reason not to marry.

U can check this link to read another real story: www.dailystar.com.lb/22_01_04/art22.asp

The link you suggested is not working, but thanks.

Take care!
Monica

Please start a new thread, we need some new subjects and some action at least until we meet Adoula that is...lol! Oh, and no garantees that we'll stick to the original topic

Monica

quote:

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Originally posted by Undead:
Yes adoula I must meet with you sometime as well! I am Egyptian but have lived in many different countries so naturally I think in many ways. Some the same as most Egyptians and some different. As a result I would have a few personal questions for you that are not really suitable for the forum. If you would be willing and are able I would appreciate if we could discuss some things in the future I guess I will email you since you have been kind enough to post your address. Thanks!

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what u have mentioned is all true and here is more, but can't u agree with me that it will be a complicated life, sometimes also some annoying situation may be created , that is what i meant be saying natural ,also we must agree that there are extremers in all relegions so we will speak from a middle scope
1) aa suni man can marry any woman ( muslim , christian , jewish ) he is allowed to
2)suni and sofi are orginated from same sourch , but sofi nowadays deviated from this line y theur ways of praying and other stuff, bt regarding your question , yes, they can marry from suni lady normally
3)a suni lady now can mary a suni or a sufi man
4)but lady suni Vs shiite muslim man , i am sorry , i don't know the answer for that , but in my opinion , i guess it is not allowed due to some other practicing of shiite .
5)christian catholic can marry only a chatholic lady , same to others, coptic, protostant,
6)christian man is not alowed to marry a muslim lady

when i am saying can not , i mean not allowed by the rules of the relegion, and we can not just break these rules for the sake of love and emotions, sometimes u ll have to capture your feelings and sacrifies them for more precious aim whic is your relegion, and also your life stability , unless u need to add some spicy action into your life)))))
, this is what i reached , i hope it is right, and monica, it is all in the good spirit my dear )))) i hope i enlightened u ( nawartek )

on the subject of faith (i hope im not going to regret saying this!) and marrage.
i have to agree with adoula's statement that
'If two people are in love and have thought of all the things that could arise with the marriage and know that there is nothing they couldn’t over come then there should be no reason not to marry.'

also i find this differences is very intresting and very adorable, if we were identical , life 'd have been so boring.

quote:

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Originally posted by Adoula:
Hey guys, they call it Inter-faith marriage.

Monica, yes, all the cases U have mentioned is true, and there is more.

U can check this link to read another real story: www.dailystar.com.lb/22_01_04/art22.asp

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The Meridien Hotel in Limassol, Cyprus is not just one of the fanciest on the island, but it also serves as a haven for couples who either want, or are compelled, to be married in a civil ceremony. In most cases, the couples are Lebanese; the law in Lebanon does not allow them to marry there. So , they make the short hop from Beirut to Famagusta, Limassol or Larnaca - sometimes on their own, sometimes accompanied by all their relatives - and hold the ceremony and wedding party in Cyprus.The manager of the Meridien Hotel once said that the island's good hotels never suffer from a shortage of guests: "In the summer, the tourists come on package deals, and the rest of the year, couples come to get married and pay full price."

In other words, Christians and Muslims still get married ...to each other legally, officially but NOT religiously!

quote:

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Originally posted by kay in love:
OK I am new to this so sorry if I repete questions or threads.
First off thanks to all for a great forum. I have learnt lots just looking but now feel I want to share and see what others think!
I love Egypt and the people. I went to the Red Sea just before Christmas, had fab time and then met someone!!!! He is Egyptian same age as me 30,s we had great time I thought just a holiday romance. We swaped phone numbers, and I thought maybe I would get a call maybe not. I have lots of calls, web chats, emails, three or four a day, personalised text messages and invitations to go and stay! not what I expected. We have got to be good friends and seem to get on well, he has never asked me for anything exept my time. I am planning to go back for 2 weeks at easter to see if I am being a romantic fool for beliving him or if maybe this is for real. I have all the doubts you can think of, he has a different girl every two weeks, he just wants money etc. The only way I can think of to find out what this relationship is is to go back and see him. He has invited me to meet his mum and sister I take this as a good sign????
Sorry if this is an often heard story but I can really see myself living in Egypt regardless of this guy and wether it works out or not. Thanks for listening look forward to hearing from you. XXX

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if u r feeling suspecious towards your prince , then there is no need to go on in this relation , suspects kills love, its really ironic to feel suspecious while love is the thing that makes u feel safe.
and yeah ,egypt full of very good guys who knows really how love can be , thru friendship and romances, but u will not find them easily, because love is very precious thing, and for mysrlf i will not subject my feelings to a risk on a girl i met her by accident.

Enough said, because if there is one there has to be more

Besides people we must remember that there are good & bad men & women from every country in the world.

I pray that all the ones you meet my friends, are the good ones!

Hugs......