Okay what about a Tandem? Surely there are no silly rules about buying one of those.

Yes I have finally lost the plot. As anyone who has tried to deal with the beaurocrats will understand.

Try opening an account in the EAB in Luxor. The air-con man is trying to fix the unit, your money is spread out on the table, the air-con mans mate comes in with his sandwiches. They both start eating them. The bank manager disappears. A total stranger comes in and parks his bum on the edge of the table.

The bank manager re-appears but starts dealing with the bum on the edge of the table bloke.

The air-con guy and his mate finish their sandwiches, scrunch the paper and then disappear. Presumably to get a cup of tea.
At the same time the bank manager is trying to complete our paperwork but due to interruptions makes a mistake and has to start all over again.
3 hours later we finally got a bit of paper to say we had a bank account.