i would there fore ask please wait for the new nice and happy moments that will come, don't just throw then away. You do not see them coming today, because your grief has hidden all horizons from you, but they will come, they always do, and new nice people come and cherish you. It is always like that: up and down, up and down, just sometimes short and sometimes long and sometimes more serious but exactly when you feel like have lost it all, this is the moment when you have nothing more to lose. The worse is already over! You are heading back up already, just very slowly. Why miss it?

quote:

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Originally posted by sad_elisa:
Did anybody ever think about the suicide? when you feel that you have lost everything, but quite and do not find any exit.

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Dont worry , Be happy

quote:

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Originally posted by sad_elisa:
Did anybody ever think about the suicide? when you feel that you have lost everything, but quite and do not find any exit.

---

Maybe you need to reconsider your understanding of life, think about what life means to you? Why are you here in the first place?

I do have so many problems in life and lost alot of things but it's my understanding of how this life is going like that makes me swallow its bad and observe the good inside it.

I wont preach but let me put it this way, If you have goals or goal and this goal is beyond time that never end, you will have something to catch on when everything falls around you untill your normal death.Set up a goal and follow it.

How do you get to feel the value and joy of patience, love and friendship when you don't get through hard times? Sometimes the worst things bring out the most wonderful feelings when we think about them.

Many people suffered before and lost families yet the were able to find joy and this suffering made them stronger and taught them alot

yes some people have thought of suicide before, but the only ones who will respond are the ones who knew things would eventually change.

I was absolutely devastated, I had no one to turn to. I didn't want to tell anyone that our marriage was over. I was so humiliated. For several weeks we pretended whilst we sorted things out. At night I would cry and cry, no one to turn to at all. We didn't have a phone so I couldn't call a helpline like the Samaritans. I thought very seriously about suicide. I debated means and ways. I didn't see what the point was at all. We had a dog and I used to cry into her fur and she would lick me. I decided I wouldn't do anything because of the dog. But actually I don't think I would have done anything.

We went and told both sets of parents and I moved back to my parents place. After 2 years my mother remarked this separation isn't temporary is it. That is how alone i was with it. pathetic person that I was I still let him make love to me. I so wanted it to continue. I met 'her, the other woman'. I wanted to see what she had that I didn't.

It was a horrible horrible time. I never thought I would come out of it. In fact it was years before I recovered. But I did. the first step was a holiday to Egypt, yes really. Then I did a career change. Then I moved out of my parents and got my own home. Then life moved on and now I can not believe how much things have changed and how my life has been happy and fulfilled.

I don't know how old you are, you sound young and it is hard when you are young. When you are older you aren't so shocked when something goes wrong and you know you have coped before and you will cope this time.

Take each day at a time, you are a good person. What ever has happened to make you feel so bad you didn't deserve.

Hm, I don't think so. Eliza, there is sunshine after the rain. There is happiness after pain. There is hope just give it some time.

quote:

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Originally posted by akshar:
Yes I did feel like this. I was 22 and my marriage had broken down. My husband had informed me (after making love) that he had found someone else and our marriage was over.

I was absolutely devastated, I had no one to turn to. I didn't want to tell anyone that our marriage was over. I was so humiliated. For several weeks we pretended whilst we sorted things out. At night I would cry and cry, no one to turn to at all. We didn't have a phone so I couldn't call a helpline like the Samaritans. I thought very seriously about suicide. I debated means and ways. I didn't see what the point was at all. We had a dog and I used to cry into her fur and she would lick me. I decided I wouldn't do anything because of the dog. But actually I don't think I would have done anything.

We went and told both sets of parents and I moved back to my parents place. After 2 years my mother remarked this separation isn't temporary is it. That is how alone i was with it. pathetic person that I was I still let him make love to me. I so wanted it to continue. I met 'her, the other woman'. I wanted to see what she had that I didn't.

It was a horrible horrible time. I never thought I would come out of it. In fact it was years before I recovered. But I did. the first step was a holiday to Egypt, yes really. Then I did a career change. Then I moved out of my parents and got my own home. Then life moved on and now I can not believe how much things have changed and how my life has been happy and fulfilled.

I don't know how old you are, you sound young and it is hard when you are young. When you are older you aren't so shocked when something goes wrong and you know you have coped before and you will cope this time.

Take each day at a time, you are a good person. What ever has happened to make you feel so bad you didn't deserve.

Big hug

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quote:

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Originally posted by Samia:
Elisa.... yes!!! I was seriously contemplating suicide 4 years ago when I found out that my wonderful husband of almost 25 years was sleeping with my best friend for 2 years and I was the last to know... then, my cancer I had 4 years before had returned, and, to top it all, my mother died on Christmas day!!!
just when you think things can't get any worse.... hello!!! they do!!! This was the worst 3 months of my life!!!
But, on the positive side, I started by divorcing him.... my divorce actually became absolute on my silver wedding anniversary!! COOL!
4 years down the line, I have a new life in Egypt, a new religion and way of life, and the best job anybody could have!!
Time is a great healer.. although at the time, I couldn't ever imagine a reason I would want to live, except my daughter!!
E-mail me if you want to..
suewebbe@hotmail.com

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Don't worry u have me !

quote:

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Originally posted by Morgan:
Don't worry u have me !

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That would leave anybody suicidal!

know that we are thinking of you..

From,
Sara

My whole family and I were sent to jail when I was only 5 years old In Iraq, where in that jail they used to torture ppl, so every night we didnt sleep cause of all the ppl that cried for help. and every morning we couldnt stop crying cause of all the screams from ppl who were getting tortured.
When we were there, my mother got passive abortion where she lost her child who would be my young sister.But there were one soldier, who helped us. He took care of me and my family, gave us free food and helped my mother. and took care of my brother who from the shock he got, wouldnt speak the whole time we were there.
After three months we were free, wich didnt last long since the war started to begin inside of iraq, and unfortunatly we lived in the richest place owned mostly by kuwaitis and the centre for the whole war.
We were four families, wich would be about 30 ppl. and suddenly the cousin of saddam was standing in our front yard with a tank and dozen of soldiers, ready to bomb our house, and we had 5 minutes to evacuate our house.
Imagine 30 ppl divided in 2 cars!
and my poor grandmother was very ill, so my father and brother had to carry her and all sat upon eachother on the car so we could drive.
and while we were driving, on the left there were saddams ppl shooting at the other side wich were against saddams regime. and we were driving in the middle.
we were sure that we would die in the seconds that would come, but suddenly two men who covered their faces with garments which showed only their eyes, jumped on our car, covered the front screen and protected us against any shooting from both sides.
as we came safely out of there, without any of us hurt. we went to our old house, where we didnt have any money, food or any clothing. for ten minutes ago we were one of the richest ppl in iraq, and now we didnt have anything beside some few dollars that my grandmother had kept with her.
So we were sleeping on a cold floor, and the pillow became our shoes, and dinner became the cookies we got from the neighbors. And with the little money we had our little family of 6 ppl esacped to Indonesia, it was urgent since both my father and brother was wanted by the government and they were wanted to be killed. (since in iraq everyone who got at the age of 16 should be in the military and if not you would be killed). After escaping there we had to move from hotel to hotel, since the police and spies of saddam were haunting us, the police cause we were illegal immigrants and saddam cause we escaped as we were wanted killed.
But there were good ppl there who would help us with cheaper payment for the stay in the hotel and everything that would help us survive that.
so after having the fear of dying iin six months we were saved by the UN who gave us the blessing of being excepted in Norway where we went.
after being there for a while, our uncles called and said their lives are in danger and saddam is killing ppl without any reason and they feared for their lives. as we didnt have any money extra to help them. My brother and sister had to work, while my father had to qualify his doctor license from the beginning again, wich meant 6 years of med school all over again.
My brother and sister would work anything, selling flowers at the streets, newspapers, construction work and so on. and at home we didnt have any money left just for the most important thing as bread, milk and so on.
but what made it all seem easy was that all of us supported eachother, and never complained about it, quite the opposite tried to figure out how to make things better.
After I grew older, me and my other brother started to work too, mainly as fake tatto painters in the capital. even it was very diff and very hard work, i got to see many strange ppl wich i learned a lot from.
Not to mention when we came we lived in this village place in norway, where we were one of the few foreigners here. where the whole town were against us, they called us names, and humiliated us.

My story is pretty long, wich still there are some chapters left. But I think this is enough for you to read
What I am saying that no matter how bad life must be, there is always some light. maybe you dont see it now. but it will come. belive me. BUt dont give up.
If my mother had given up, my father would be dead now. If my brother and sister gave up my uncles would either be dead or near death. and if I gave up, well you wouldnt be reading my story

Thank you all yours: Saeed, Tigerlily, karah_mia, Prittyperson, Welsafty, Trouble, Noura , Askar, Samia, Marguerita, and to you Suzanna you was my angel, thank you for your mails , all of yours were my angels, in this moment i was feeling lost, and all yours help to me .

and sonomod , morgan , gigle,candirima, scarlet water, and when i read this last time all your histories and the history of Sara , really i am shamed of me.

thanks for this wonderful group.

And only i want forget and say my heart: dont suffer any more.

Sometimes i still crying , i want to forget the man that cause a lot of damage in me.
but inside me i still loving and i knew that very soon will marriage again.. I am a foolish no?

I love all yours.. always are in my prayers.

And please sorry if dont write more , because i need time for forget, is not easy, but i need to enter again here and write all of yours and say i am alive.

quote:

---

Originally posted by sad_elisa:
I want to say thanks all yours, sorry if dont replay before but really i was very sad , when i wrote i was living in Egypt, Cairo ,i left all in egyt, a life, a sad history.
now i am in Portugal living with my aunt because i dont have parents, now i am in the university for to be a teacher for kindergarden .

Thank you all yours: Saeed, Tigerlily, karah_mia, Prittyperson, Welsafty, Trouble, Noura , Askar, Samia, Marguerita, and to you Suzanna you was my angel, thank you for your mails , all of yours were my angels, in this moment i was feeling lost, and all yours help to me .

and sonomod , morgan , gigle,candirima, scarlet water, and when i read this last time all your histories and the history of Sara , really i am shamed of me.

thanks for this wonderful group.

And only i want forget and say my heart: dont suffer any more.

Sometimes i still crying , i want to forget the man that cause a lot of damage in me.
but inside me i still loving and i knew that very soon will marriage again.. I am a foolish no?

I love all yours.. always are in my prayers.

And please sorry if dont write more , because i need time for forget, is not easy, but i need to enter again here and write all of yours and say i am alive.

I find here wonderful people.

---

So glad to hear that your life has moved on and although you are still sufferign there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Elisa, Take care of yourself. and let us hear from you soon.

quote:

---

Originally posted by Serendipity:
I will tell you Elisa I havent thought about physically taking suicide, since I have trust in God and that he will help me.
BUt I thought of blocking the whole world around me and lock myself inside my heart and never ever speak again.
I have been through a lot! But not more than many ppl around me.
I will tell you some so you understand that even in the darkest hour there is hope.

My whole family and I were sent to jail when I was only 5 years old In Iraq, where in that jail they used to torture ppl, so every night we didnt sleep cause of all the ppl that cried for help. and every morning we couldnt stop crying cause of all the screams from ppl who were getting tortured.
When we were there, my mother got passive abortion where she lost her child who would be my young sister.But there were one soldier, who helped us. He took care of me and my family, gave us free food and helped my mother. and took care of my brother who from the shock he got, wouldnt speak the whole time we were there.
After three months we were free, wich didnt last long since the war started to begin inside of iraq, and unfortunatly we lived in the richest place owned mostly by kuwaitis and the centre for the whole war.
We were four families, wich would be about 30 ppl. and suddenly the cousin of saddam was standing in our front yard with a tank and dozen of soldiers, ready to bomb our house, and we had 5 minutes to evacuate our house.
Imagine 30 ppl divided in 2 cars!
and my poor grandmother was very ill, so my father and brother had to carry her and all sat upon eachother on the car so we could drive.
and while we were driving, on the left there were saddams ppl shooting at the other side wich were against saddams regime. and we were driving in the middle.
we were sure that we would die in the seconds that would come, but suddenly two men who covered their faces with garments which showed only their eyes, jumped on our car, covered the front screen and protected us against any shooting from both sides.
as we came safely out of there, without any of us hurt. we went to our old house, where we didnt have any money, food or any clothing. for ten minutes ago we were one of the richest ppl in iraq, and now we didnt have anything beside some few dollars that my grandmother had kept with her.
So we were sleeping on a cold floor, and the pillow became our shoes, and dinner became the cookies we got from the neighbors. And with the little money we had our little family of 6 ppl esacped to Indonesia, it was urgent since both my father and brother was wanted by the government and they were wanted to be killed. (since in iraq everyone who got at the age of 16 should be in the military and if not you would be killed). After escaping there we had to move from hotel to hotel, since the police and spies of saddam were haunting us, the police cause we were illegal immigrants and saddam cause we escaped as we were wanted killed.
But there were good ppl there who would help us with cheaper payment for the stay in the hotel and everything that would help us survive that.
so after having the fear of dying iin six months we were saved by the UN who gave us the blessing of being excepted in Norway where we went.
after being there for a while, our uncles called and said their lives are in danger and saddam is killing ppl without any reason and they feared for their lives. as we didnt have any money extra to help them. My brother and sister had to work, while my father had to qualify his doctor license from the beginning again, wich meant 6 years of med school all over again.
My brother and sister would work anything, selling flowers at the streets, newspapers, construction work and so on. and at home we didnt have any money left just for the most important thing as bread, milk and so on.
but what made it all seem easy was that all of us supported eachother, and never complained about it, quite the opposite tried to figure out how to make things better.
After I grew older, me and my other brother started to work too, mainly as fake tatto painters in the capital. even it was very diff and very hard work, i got to see many strange ppl wich i learned a lot from.
Not to mention when we came we lived in this village place in norway, where we were one of the few foreigners here. where the whole town were against us, they called us names, and humiliated us.

My story is pretty long, wich still there are some chapters left. But I think this is enough for you to read
What I am saying that no matter how bad life must be, there is always some light. maybe you dont see it now. but it will come. belive me. BUt dont give up.
If my mother had given up, my father would be dead now. If my brother and sister gave up my uncles would either be dead or near death. and if I gave up, well you wouldnt be reading my story

be strong elisa, there is no greater force than hope and no more precious than to keep it strong.

---

Ah, Serendipity, I just read this now. I am so sorry you went through so much suffering, and I am grateful to read about people being so strong! That is a wonderful gift, thank you -- I have also felt like Sad-Elisa.

God bless you and your family.

Susan

quote:

---

Originally posted by sad_elisa:
I want to say thanks all yours, sorry if dont replay before but really i was very sad , when i wrote i was living in Egypt, Cairo ,i left all in egyt, a life, a sad history.
now i am in Portugal living with my aunt because i dont have parents, now i am in the university for to be a teacher for kindergarden .

Thank you all yours: Saeed, Tigerlily, karah_mia, Prittyperson, Welsafty, Trouble, Noura , Askar, Samia, Marguerita, and to you Suzanna you was my angel, thank you for your mails , all of yours were my angels, in this moment i was feeling lost, and all yours help to me .

and sonomod , morgan , gigle,candirima, scarlet water, and when i read this last time all your histories and the history of Sara , really i am shamed of me.

thanks for this wonderful group.

And only i want forget and say my heart: dont suffer any more.

Sometimes i still crying , i want to forget the man that cause a lot of damage in me.
but inside me i still loving and i knew that very soon will marriage again.. I am a foolish no?

I love all yours.. always are in my prayers.

And please sorry if dont write more , because i need time for forget, is not easy, but i need to enter again here and write all of yours and say i am alive.

I find here wonderful people.

---

I don't know you Sad-Elisa, but my thoughts and prayers are with you. I've felt exactly like you, and I want you to know it *does* get better.

Big hugs,

Susan

even we become speechless, or say any word to support...

quote:

---

Originally posted by sad_elisa:
Did anybody ever think about the suicide? when you feel that you have lost everything, but quite and do not find any exit.

---

Everyone gets the blues. And then reading, some man is giving you grief. My ex tried to drive me suicide. I tried to take a bottle aspirin, my body reacted to it, like I was on speed, I was awake for 72 hours. The next attempt in the same night, was I tried to slit my wrists, the only weapon I had was a metal coat hanger. Didn't do anything, and my wonderful ex when I told him what I tried, he smiled, and goes, ' See I told you. You do things half ass. ' And from that moment I fought to live, and I fight for anyone. There is so many wonderful people on ES, that really care. I have a very good friend, who's sister committed suicide. She was only 10 when it happened. And it still haunts her to this day. A woman from my hometown, her husband a successful doctor, commmitted suicide. She know speaks around the USA, warning others about the dangers of depression.

I'm not sure if your in the USA, but in the very front of the white pages, is probably a suicide intervention line.
But if not you can email me crazylobo28@msn.com, and noticed on ES, that many other people gave their emails. Please do not hesitate to email.

You have a lot going for you, you want to be a teacher. Make a difference in some little kids life, they depend on you. Everyone remembers their kindergarden teacher.

Karen

quote:

---

Originally posted by Serendipity:
I will tell you Elisa I havent thought about physically taking suicide, since I have trust in God and that he will help me.
BUt I thought of blocking the whole world around me and lock myself inside my heart and never ever speak again.
I have been through a lot! But not more than many ppl around me.
I will tell you some so you understand that even in the darkest hour there is hope.

My whole family and I were sent to jail when I was only 5 years old In Iraq, where in that jail they used to torture ppl, so every night we didnt sleep cause of all the ppl that cried for help. and every morning we couldnt stop crying cause of all the screams from ppl who were getting tortured.
When we were there, my mother got passive abortion where she lost her child who would be my young sister.But there were one soldier, who helped us. He took care of me and my family, gave us free food and helped my mother. and took care of my brother who from the shock he got, wouldnt speak the whole time we were there.
After three months we were free, wich didnt last long since the war started to begin inside of iraq, and unfortunatly we lived in the richest place owned mostly by kuwaitis and the centre for the whole war.
We were four families, wich would be about 30 ppl. and suddenly the cousin of saddam was standing in our front yard with a tank and dozen of soldiers, ready to bomb our house, and we had 5 minutes to evacuate our house.
Imagine 30 ppl divided in 2 cars!
and my poor grandmother was very ill, so my father and brother had to carry her and all sat upon eachother on the car so we could drive.
and while we were driving, on the left there were saddams ppl shooting at the other side wich were against saddams regime. and we were driving in the middle.
we were sure that we would die in the seconds that would come, but suddenly two men who covered their faces with garments which showed only their eyes, jumped on our car, covered the front screen and protected us against any shooting from both sides.
as we came safely out of there, without any of us hurt. we went to our old house, where we didnt have any money, food or any clothing. for ten minutes ago we were one of the richest ppl in iraq, and now we didnt have anything beside some few dollars that my grandmother had kept with her.
So we were sleeping on a cold floor, and the pillow became our shoes, and dinner became the cookies we got from the neighbors. And with the little money we had our little family of 6 ppl esacped to Indonesia, it was urgent since both my father and brother was wanted by the government and they were wanted to be killed. (since in iraq everyone who got at the age of 16 should be in the military and if not you would be killed). After escaping there we had to move from hotel to hotel, since the police and spies of saddam were haunting us, the police cause we were illegal immigrants and saddam cause we escaped as we were wanted killed.
But there were good ppl there who would help us with cheaper payment for the stay in the hotel and everything that would help us survive that.
so after having the fear of dying iin six months we were saved by the UN who gave us the blessing of being excepted in Norway where we went.
after being there for a while, our uncles called and said their lives are in danger and saddam is killing ppl without any reason and they feared for their lives. as we didnt have any money extra to help them. My brother and sister had to work, while my father had to qualify his doctor license from the beginning again, wich meant 6 years of med school all over again.
My brother and sister would work anything, selling flowers at the streets, newspapers, construction work and so on. and at home we didnt have any money left just for the most important thing as bread, milk and so on.
but what made it all seem easy was that all of us supported eachother, and never complained about it, quite the opposite tried to figure out how to make things better.
After I grew older, me and my other brother started to work too, mainly as fake tatto painters in the capital. even it was very diff and very hard work, i got to see many strange ppl wich i learned a lot from.
Not to mention when we came we lived in this village place in norway, where we were one of the few foreigners here. where the whole town were against us, they called us names, and humiliated us.

My story is pretty long, wich still there are some chapters left. But I think this is enough for you to read
What I am saying that no matter how bad life must be, there is always some light. maybe you dont see it now. but it will come. belive me. BUt dont give up.
If my mother had given up, my father would be dead now. If my brother and sister gave up my uncles would either be dead or near death. and if I gave up, well you wouldnt be reading my story

be strong elisa, there is no greater force than hope and no more precious than to keep it strong.

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