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Dear guys , How much our minds changed. 50 or 70 years ago the first night after wedding the mother of the bridegroom used to enter with and she make sure the bride is virgin and she has to have this white piece of cloth with the bride virginity blood. What we used to call it ‘el dokhla el baladey ‘ I don’t think this happened in Egypt now .but my question is How much important for Egyptian men to married a virgin wife? .and if Egyptian girls see this is important or not ? Posts: 354 | From: cairo,cairo,egypt | Registered: Aug 2005
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As usual men are selfish to want virgins, when mot aren't even virgins themselves. I think the religion requires you both to remain virgins until marriage. But we know its not the case, so then how can the women all be virgins, if the men aren't? Who are they having sex with?
Posts: 81 | Registered: Aug 2004
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Well all like virgins it's a universal concept, don't people like virgin cars, virgin TVs, computer and virgin shirts?Noone treat virgin cars like non virgin ones Posts: 1732 | Registered: Jun 2004
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quote:Originally posted by kadijah2000: As usual men are selfish to want virgins, when mot aren't even virgins themselves. I think the religion requires you both to remain virgins until marriage. But we know its not the case, so then how can the women all be virgins, if the men aren't? Who are they having sex with?
Good point, Kadijah. The Quran states that a non-virgin should marry a non-virgin (out of premarital sex 'zinna').
Religiously, it's as important for a man to be a virgin as it is for a woman.
[This message has been edited by EFLVirgo (edited 15 August 2005).]
[This message has been edited by EFLVirgo (edited 15 August 2005).]
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I agree with the girls here, As the man wants to have a virgin girl. SO DOES THE WOMAN! so why not the non virgins with the non virgins and the virgins to the virgins.
Posts: 2519 | Registered: Apr 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Tigerlily: I know this topic is more directed towards the Muslim people here in this forum but I would also like to add my thoughts.
Seren mentioned that virgin women want to have virgin men. Is that really so in Egypt?
I was really happy with a man who had already sexual experience.......
[This message has been edited by Tigerlily (edited 15 August 2005).]
Well I am not egyptian, but that rule goes for me!
quote:Originally posted by Soum: Men like to have sex before marriage and at the same time when it comes to marriage, he would like to marry a virgin !!!!!!
These men are by no means religious, but traditional. Tradition definitely outweighs religion in the Arab world.
quote:Originally posted by Tigerlily: Seren mentioned that virgin women want to have virgin men. Is that really so in Egypt?
I was really happy with a man who had already sexual experience.......
[This message has been edited by Tigerlily (edited 15 August 2005).]
It's a matter of principle, not pleasure. A man or woman with sexual experience would probably make their partner 'happier' in bed, like you mentioned. But for a religious person, it's a matter of principle and faith. They can learn and gain experience together, step by step.
quote:Originally posted by EFLVirgo: These men are by no means religious, but traditional. Tradition definitely outweighs religion in the Arab world.
Egyptian traditions is against it as well, here in arranged marriage which most Egyptians go by both families ask about each other's history and if one has been fooling around he or she will probably be rejected.
quote:Originally posted by Troubles101: Egyptian traditions is against it as well, here in arranged marriage which most Egyptians go by both families ask about each other's history and if one has been fooling around he or she will probably be rejected.
Not necessarily. I know of a really conservative family that asked about the 3arees. Although they found out he was a pervert that slept with whores, they blessed the marriage. Now they're married with a child.
did you read well what i wrote??? i do not think so
What did I miss?
Mind you the virginity thing is not an issue to me really. I'm virgin myself but I wont freak out and jump from the window if I married a girl and found out she was not virgin.
quote:Originally posted by EFLVirgo: Not necessarily. I know of a really conservative family that asked about the 3arees. Although they found out he was a pervert that slept with whores, they blessed the marriage. Now they're married with a child.
Ths sounds like exceptional case. Why did they ask in the first place then? How conservative are they? all marriages I have seen were the way I described but every rule has exceptions
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Lets talk about me , I would like to be the first one who touch the woman i will marry to. Having experiance before marrige won't be an issue because we will have it after marrige so this not an excuse to have it before marriage.
Posts: 354 | From: cairo,cairo,egypt | Registered: Aug 2005
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posted
a couple of days ago I with a friend asking about a man who proposed his sister. The guy gave us his home, work and some of his familiy addresses. We asked about at work and asked the neighbours of his relatives and his home. everything was going fine untill we noticed that they moved last year to a new house, so we asked him about the old address of where he used to live and he sounded hesitating but gave it to us and when we asked there almost everyone told us that this family and him do go around fighting with everyone and tha he has bad reputation (mashio battal)..that was it..he was rejected.
Posts: 1732 | Registered: Jun 2004
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My thoughts and I know I could be misinterpreting things I observe, but it appears that in Egypt, the man's financial stability is more important than his reputation as a virgin. And for the woman, her reputation is more important. After all they do allow second marriages, so she knows he is having sex iwth his first wife if no one else.
In the west, women like Tigerlilly prefer the man to be experienced. The pressure for a man to NOT be a virgin is overwhelming, I've even heard of men taking their sons to prstitutes to teach him how to love a woman, I know it sounds sick, but it happens. I watched a show on MTV, and for the kids 16th birthday, dad got the kid a bunch of female strippers.
Now he will take some young ladies virginity with his new found experience from the whores. Sexually transmitted diseases are growing rapidly in the west.
Muslims are not the only ones where virginity is stressed. Our catholic dad smiled with glee upon learning my brothers had finally "got them some" stating he was worried they may be queers. But when he learned my sister lost her virginity, he nearly beat her to death with his big fist, and afterwards, my brothers beat her, the kicked her in front of the virgin Mary's picture and made her beg for forgiveness. Watching this as a 14 year old girl, was my lesson, to stay a virgin or die!
quote:Originally posted by someone_lost: Lets talk about me , I would like to be the first one who touch the woman i will marry to. Having experiance before marrige won't be an issue because we will have it after marrige so this not an excuse to have it before marriage.
Make sure she doesn't watch porn, she gonna be expecting a superman !
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I just want to know how people think so please if you guys can give direct opinions about if you accept it or not then we talk about it . Is the majority think the same way as it before or not . Posts: 354 | From: cairo,cairo,egypt | Registered: Aug 2005
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quote:Originally posted by EFLVirgo: Now I know who to call whenever I need a Private Eye.
Don't hire me if it's about marriage proposal. I can find the worst things in everyone and with that you will never marry. other than that I wont mind but I get paid in dollars (mafeesh masri)
quote:Originally posted by river_0f_l0ve: if we need a one experience with sex you can marry someone had got married a man in halal..
so yr problem is solved.
Seriously from the stories I hear, it seems like experince is not a big deal if they are not trying to learn. If I tell you some of those stories you will be shocked about how some people are married for years and lack basic information and ask naive questions. If husband and wife are not opned to each other in this matter than sex is like no sex for them.
[This message has been edited by Troubles101 (edited 15 August 2005).]
quote:Originally posted by someone_lost: Dont worry im super man but but first let me find the girl
selfconfidence is great but don't add too much to it else you will get heart troubles once you take off your clothes and hear stuff like " yaah! ana shoft akbar min keda bas yemshi bardo" "OOh I have seen bigger than this but it's ok" "let's talk" you know what I mean
quote:Originally posted by Troubles101: selfconfidence is great but don't add too much to it else you will get heart troubles once you take off your clothes and hear stuff like " yaah! ana shoft akbar min keda bas yemshi bardo" "OOh I have seen bigger than this but it's ok" "let's talk" you know what I mean
I think you saying this from previous experience of yours but I think we not the same Posts: 354 | From: cairo,cairo,egypt | Registered: Aug 2005
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quote:Originally posted by someone_lost: [QUOTE]Originally posted by Troubles101: [b] selfconfidence is great but don't add too much to it else you will get heart troubles once you take off your clothes and hear stuff like " yaah! ana shoft akbar min keda bas yemshi bardo" "OOh I have seen bigger than this but it's ok" "let's talk" you know what I mean
I think you saying this from previous experience of yours but I think we not the same[/B][/QUOTE]
well for me i would never EVER well inshallah, not marry a man who is not virgin. If he has been married before its ok. but if not, i dont think so. I dont care about the experience. its about the faith. If he neglected his faith in this way, than he is obviously not the right man for me. I put faith before culture and Troubles, many cultures doesnt mind if the man is fooling around before marriage, I dont know why but it isnt seen as a big issue. BUT for those who consider faith more than culture, its a VERY big issue.
and btw, shako mako guys it means how are things going? Sha lo ahshi hishi shino ra7 itgolon try to understand that!!
quote:Originally posted by Serendipity: wow this topic got on fire , very quickly!
well for me i would never EVER well inshallah, not marry a man who is not virgin. If he has been married before its ok. but if not, i dont think so. I dont care about the experience. its about the faith. If he neglected his faith in this way, than he is obviously not the right man for me. I put faith before culture and Troubles, many cultures doesnt mind if the man is fooling around before marriage, I dont know why but it isnt seen as a big issue. BUT for those who consider faith more than culture, its a VERY big issue.
and btw, shako mako guys it means how are things going? Sha lo ahshi hishi shino ra7 itgolon try to understand that!!
I understand that boys have more freedom abuot fooling around than girls but still there are limits and that's why people ask. I have seen many proposals rejected by religions and non religious families because of men having bad reputation in fact sometimes man is fine but his family is the reason. but as I said there are exception and things change however you will alwayes hear Egyptians speaking of those things as non traditional.
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But, Sara, if a man was married before this means he had sexual relations with his wife and is not more a virgin, he is not untouched anymore. Strange that this wouldn't matter to you.
In my culture its fine if both partners made sexual experience and its just fair enough. And it doesn't mean the person who is virgin upon marriage will be devoted forever to her husband or his wife either, they do stray too.
Wouldn't you think you missed out on something by having a relationship with only one man in your entire life?
[This message has been edited by Tigerlily (edited 15 August 2005).]
Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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Wouldn't you think you missed out on something by having a relationship with only one man in your entire life?
[This message has been edited by Tigerlily (edited 15 August 2005).]
This is the case if you believe that life ends with death but seren like all Muslims believe in hereafter, so she is not missing anything when she follow God's rules. but mind you if someone think like this then how can he or she be devoted to one man even after several ones? there will alwayes be chances out there!
quote:Originally posted by Troubles101: Well all like virgins it's a universal concept, don't people like virgin cars, virgin TVs, computer and virgin shirts?Noone treat virgin cars like non virgin ones
Oh boy TRoubles this is so like you.
Women are different kind of objects than household objects.
If you could differientiate between a TV, computer vs. a human being I could actually take you seriously.
To get to the extent that woman aren't objects at all...... Well I don't think I will even attempt that with you.
Posts: 5744 | From: Minneapolis, Mn USA | Registered: Mar 2004
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quote:Originally posted by Troubles101: but mind you if someone think like this then how can he or she be devoted to one man even after several ones? there will alwayes be chances out there!
A non-virgin upon marriage can be the same honest and faithful to the spouse, to be a virgin doesn't make you a better person - especially when pressured by the society.
What about the Muslim man who is allowed by faith to marry four women at the same time but not visa versa. Could you be devoted to four women at the same time, ya Troubles?
[This message has been edited by Tigerlily (edited 15 August 2005).]
Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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I think it's fine to want your partner to be a virgin as long as you hold yourself to the same standards. I don't like the double-standard applied where people want a woman to be a virgin and not necessarily the man.
I totally believe it's possible to be extraordinarily happy with only one partner in life.
I hope if you find true love, and he/she is *not* a virgin, you don't hold that one thing against them.
And from the VERY American perspective:
If two people do not have sexual contact before marriage, how do you figure out if you will be sexually-compatible afterward? Here, if a man is still a virgin at 35 or so, there is always a chance that he has NO sex drive at all, doesn't want sex, and will not be a good partner in that respect. It is even possible that he is gay but can't face it, attempting to find a normal life in a marriage.
Posts: 8794 | From: 01-20-09 The End of an Error | Registered: Dec 2004
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quote:Originally posted by Tigerlily: A non-virgin upon marriage can be the same honest and faithful to the spouse, to be a virgin doesn't make you a better person - especially when pressured by the society.
What about the Muslim man who is allowed by faith to marry four women at the same time but not visa versa. Could you be devoted to four women at the same time, ya Troubles?
[This message has been edited by Tigerlily (edited 15 August 2005).]
i know it's not for me but i will answer it . We cant marry 4 women unless we treat them equal in every thing .in every thing epically that thing .
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