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I met him 3 years ago US. No visa needed. Nice wedding. I am too young but finish College. Everything fine. Happy couple. After a while he is cheating with many woman and at least one man in our own bed. People on the phone with me at work while having sex with him. Neighbors telling me everything. I want to divorce. He said, Please I am sexual addict I need help I love you please help me. I would die without you. I believed him. We got professional and religious help. After that everything was fine. I forgave him, but I still can't forget all he did. Nowadays, I think he is misbehaving again. What should I do? Posts: 12 | Registered: Sep 2005
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quote:Originally posted by naive: I met him 3 years ago US. No visa needed. Nice wedding. I am too young but finish College. Everything fine. Happy couple. After a while he is cheating with many woman and at least one man in our own bed. People on the phone with me at work while having sex with him. Neighbors telling me everything. I want to divorce. He said, Please I am sexual addict I need help I love you please help me. I would die without you. I believed him. We got professional and religious help. After that everything was fine. I forgave him, but I still can't forget all he did. Nowadays, I think he is misbehaving again. What should I do?
let me guess, he is an american man? where are you from?
it sounds like an american man, they love to give the sexual addiction excuse as if theyre addicted to cigarettes or alcohol. all men cheat and do these things but american like this excuse in particular....forgive me if I'm wrong.
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Bismallah salam alaykum, what can i say....im still in shock after reading what you wrote. i feel real sorry for you because at the end of the day you the victim and i think that you hurt more than him,this is evidenced by the fact that its you writing and looking for advice not him.his "excuse" of being a sex addict.......... Look i dont want to hurt your feelings or come in between a man and his wife but if you slept about, got caught,said im a sex addict please forgive me to your partner, would he still be with you. and r u really sure of the answer. men react differently to infidelity than women and nine times out of ten a man would dump a woman there and then if she cheated. as to that bull about addiction, please, i know you in love and that hides alot of faults, but if he really has a high sex drive why not marry more than one woman. i hope you dont wake up to late and only decide to change your life when he's infected you with some unspeakable diesease. If you got kids together i know it will be even harder to let go but i pray that Allah may help you in making the right decision and guiding in the ways that will allow you to truly be the person you were destined to be. Salam alaykum
Posts: 39 | From: United Kindom | Registered: Aug 2005
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Naive, I believe from the earlier hurtful experience that some of your trust towards your husband is gone for good.
Now you are mentioning that you are suspicious again. Catch him - this should open your eyes for good. At least you gave him the chance for reconcilation and continuance of your marriage but obviously he doesn't take the commitment for granted.
By the way, I couldn't imagine to touch my husband again whether he was involved with another woman or even a man.
You endured already too much.
[This message has been edited by Tigerlily (edited 02 September 2005).]
Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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Dump him now!! YOU are jeopardizing your health and life for some f**** loser? Once a sex addict, always one, just like a cheater. Religion and divine intervention isn't going to save him. \ And no excuse to blame on decadent American society ... take some responsibility.and stop being in denial. .. and before he gives you some STD, tell the loser to leave. Make it someone else's problem, NOT YOURS. Got it? If your in the states, listen to LoveLine, its on the radio, with Dr. Drew Pinsky, and Adam Carolla, they would tell you the same thing, DUMP HIM...
Damn it, kick him out, and get a good lawyer.
Posts: 816 | From: On top of a dog house | Registered: Sep 2004
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quote:Originally posted by braveheart: Bismallah salam alaykum, what can i say....im still in shock after reading what you wrote. i feel real sorry for you because at the end of the day you the victim and i think that you hurt more than him,this is evidenced by the fact that its you writing and looking for advice not him.his "excuse" of being a sex addict.......... Look i dont want to hurt your feelings or come in between a man and his wife but if you slept about, got caught,said im a sex addict please forgive me to your partner, would he still be with you. and r u really sure of the answer. men react differently to infidelity than women and nine times out of ten a man would dump a woman there and then if she cheated. as to that bull about addiction, please, i know you in love and that hides alot of faults, but if he really has a high sex drive why not marry more than one woman. i hope you dont wake up to late and only decide to change your life when he's infected you with some unspeakable diesease. If you got kids together i know it will be even harder to let go but i pray that Allah may help you in making the right decision and guiding in the ways that will allow you to truly be the person you were destined to be. Salam alaykum
Salam alaykum. I do not know what to do. He is always praying asking Allah to stop him. He wants me to be with him all the time, if we are not together physically we are on the phone many times just to know what is he doing. We have sexual intercourse almost every single day. He is making a great effort. Besides that, he is a good husband and a good person, in front of everybody else and my family he is the perfect husband. But, can you imagine he had sex even with a man? This is killing me and him. And, sometimes he just disappear. And I got crazy thinking and thinking. I do not know what to do. I want to know if this can be cure or not.
quote:Originally posted by everyday_angel: it sounds like an american man, they love to give the sexual addiction excuse as if theyre addicted to cigarettes or alcohol. all men cheat and do these things but american like this excuse in particular.....
quote:Originally posted by naive: His family is Egyptian he was born in here but raised in Egypt.
quote:Originally posted by Tigerlily: Naive, I believe from the earlier hurtful experience that some of your trust towards your husband is gone for good.
Now you are mentioning that you are suspicious again. Catch him - this should open your eyes for good. At least you gave him the chance for reconcilation and continuance of your marriage but obviously he doesn't take the commitment for granted.
By the way, I couldn't imagine to touch my husband again whether he was involved with another woman or even a man.
You endured already too much.
[This message has been edited by Tigerlily (edited 02 September 2005).]
I do not want to catch him. I don't even want to think about something like that. I just want to have a 'normal' family. I want to believe him. He want us to move to Egypt soon and he said It will be better over there. he said women here are easy and in Egyot is not like that. But we went before for holidays and he used to leave me with his family and disappeared over there also. He said he has to go to his cousin's place and his wife was not there, for this reason I cannot go with him yare yare yare. While in Egypt at midnight I saw him coming with his friend in the car and a girl was with them too, My husband said they were 'engage' but she was not wearing the veil and she had not ring on her finger, she behaved as a vulgar woman. I think it will be worst over there. I do not speak Arabic. I can be fooled easier over there.
quote:Originally posted by MyKingdomForATaba2Koshari: ... & a blood test..
I go to the doctor every three moths to get my contraceptives and they test me everytime. I never got anything Alhumdelillah.
I am looking for help. I want somebody to tell me if there is anything to help us. I grew up in a "normal" family and my mother was there to help my father all the time under any circumstance, he was not sex addict of course. But, my parents were always there for us. Sometimes he cries and he doesn't want to feel that way. He cannot control himself. I know it is hard because he is afraid of the Judgment Day. I know this is hard for him. Sometimes he said maybe he has the devil inside. Have you heard about it?
quote:Originally posted by naive: I go to the doctor every three moths to get my contraceptives and they test me everytime. I never got anything Alhumdelillah.
I am looking for help. I want somebody to tell me if there is anything to help us. I grew up in a "normal" family and my mother was there to help my father all the time under any circumstance, he was not sex addict of course. But, my parents were always there for us. Sometimes he cries and he doesn't want to feel that way. He cannot control himself. I know it is hard because he is afraid of the Judgment Day. I know this is hard for him. Sometimes he said maybe he has the devil inside. Have you heard about it?
Naive, I dont know what to say to you. your story really shocked me. But really he is not only ruining himself and your relationship but he is ruining you too! Look you cant let him misuse you like that! Men who cheat will not understand what they are doing untill you leave them and they see the consequence of their actions. Plz dont let him use you anymore. Cause he is doing it right now! You diserve much better than that! From what you've written you seem to be a very faithfull wife and a wife who will do anything for her husband. BUt your husband are not appreciating this. And what he is doing is not Halal. and its ruining your life slowly and very painfully. This is not love. and its far away from marriage. Dont you think you diserve better? a man who loves ONLY you. No matter what his sexual desires are, he is a humanbeing for God's sake not an animal. And as he is a humanbeing he should be able to be held responsible for his actions. Which seems to be forgotten here. Sorry if I am being harsh here. I just hate it when ppl abuse the goodness and love of others. And last I want to ask you, Do you think you will ever have a normal life with him? do you want to have children and him as their father? do you want to grow old with a man that cannot seem to understand the word "faithfull". ask yourselves, do you want to live in a life where you wonder every sec what he might be doing right now? Or wonder if you will ever get a "normal" life.. Or if you only stopped loving him. Do you want to sacrifice yourself, for the "love" where your husband has forgotten that in love and marriage there is "us" not "me". Dont think you cant live without him...cause you obviously are not "living" right now.
I hope you think things over... for your own sake, that both of you seem to forget.
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He can to control himself, but he's sick, and dragging YOU down. You know he is being abusive to you? So why the hell do you put up with it and tolerate it? He is blaming everyone else, ohh the women are tempting me, they are easy, please what a coward. .. its so pathetic. NO there is nothing to help you as a couple, save yourself. He doesn't love you, if he really did, he wouldn't be behaving like this, he certainly doesn't respect you. And that IS the basis of any relationship.
Posts: 816 | From: On top of a dog house | Registered: Sep 2004
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quote:Originally posted by everyday_angel: let me guess, he is an american man? where are you from?
it sounds like an american man, they love to give the sexual addiction excuse as if theyre addicted to cigarettes or alcohol. all men cheat and do these things but american like this excuse in particular....forgive me if I'm wrong.
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Hi naive,im very sad from your story too,but there are so many bad man everywhere!Theres only one thing which worry me deeply,you`re so young,& do you think that you deserve this kind of man,and if your answer is Yes,then WHY? I think that u were naive enough to forgive him indeed....its not smth. that he can change,he will never change(my opinion)!I dont think that the nationality really matters here,but why on God`s sake you must to handle this and accept all that!Its never too late to make "normal" family,dear!He isnt the last man,and definately he dont deserve you!If you are able to forgive,forgive,but dont let him to hurt u again,and again,why you are doing all this to yourself?! I dont know what to say more,my advice and opinion is to leave him for good,and to find a man who will treat you like you deserve to be!Look around,is all that he give you satisfy you,are u happy with him,did he make you feel happy,the onlyone,special woman and really his wife? You are owner ofyour soul ,heart and feelings,and u must avoid men like him,for your best goodness! Think for YOURSELF little please! I wish you to realise the truth,which will make your heart hapy,and find soul piece! Hugs-Didi
Posts: 1134 | From: NoNe oF uR BuSiNeS | Registered: Jul 2004
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Before you start pointing your finger at the west, I know this one Moslem man, who was seduced by his cousin's wife at age 13, and it happened in a Moslem country.
Posts: 816 | From: On top of a dog house | Registered: Sep 2004
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You can find some information on those links. It works as Alcoholic Anonymous. I don’t know where exactly you are, that is way I gave you the main page. They have help for HIM and for YOU as a co-dependent. If your husband does not recover, you will InshaAllah. You will find the way to get out of this traumatic situation. If he doesn't want to go. It is because he really doesn't want to get recovered. Therefore, leave him! Do not take this battle by yourself. If he really wants to get out of this situation, he will do it.
anytime you feel like it, you can e-mail me at eaasalam@hotmail.com
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[QUOTE]Originally posted by naive: [B] never underestimate the power of praye. if he is genuine help is only a few seconds away
Posts: 39 | From: United Kindom | Registered: Aug 2005
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Thank you Easalam I will check up the links. Any other sugestion please naivehop@yahoo.com
quote:Originally posted by braveheart: [QUOTE]Originally posted by naive: [B] never underestimate the power of praye. if he is genuine help is only a few seconds away
Thank you braveheart I never underestimated it. On the contrary, it is what keep my life and struggle going on.
Whenever he wants to have sex with a men and women - devil is in him, whenever he doesn't want to have sex - devil somehow dissapears. So who is in him when he wants to have sex with you?
I am so sorry about your situation. You must be feeling very low, sad and confused. It is extremely hard when you have committed to someone and he treats you like this. But it is a brave step to acknowledge this is wrong and start to talk to people about it and it shows that you still have the strength to deal with this. However, don't be in any doubt - this is an abusive relationship. He is using you and in some way you too are using him. However the problems you are both working out on one another are different and this is what I had to face when I realised I was in an abusive relationship. My ex was physically abusive but to be honest the pattern here is no different. They do it, they are sorry, they cry, they say they'll change, then they do it again. Ask yourself, why are you with this person? What was it in the first place that attracted you to each other? These are questions you have to ask. If you are in an abusive relationship it is for a reason, both for you and him. I would say the help he needs is counselling for sex addicts - if this is really what it is about, but for you there are issues of dependency, self worth, self belief and self realisation which in good counselling you will find have their roots in your childhood.
One word of warning if trust has broken down so much couple counselling might not work because it ends up being a slanging match and unless you have a really experienced and well trained marriage/couple counsellor to steer these issues in the right direction these sessions could tear you further apart. It is important that if you have couple counselling that you both also have sessions separate from each other. I had a bad experience in this area and should have taken the above advice. I hope you find the support you need. Best of luck. Oh and by the way being Egyptian makes no odds. This guy has problems but you can find guys like him all over the world. Not only that there is no reason why he can't do what he's doing now in Egypt.
Posts: 106 | From: London, England | Registered: Aug 2005
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quote:Originally posted by naive: He want us to move to Egypt soon and he said It will be better over there. he said women here are easy and in Egyot is not like that.
Naive, your husband is blaming other people for his own weakness.
Besides that he engaged in sexual activities with another male so that means he is bisexual. Can you live with that thought?
If you have almost daily sexual intercourse and besides that he is having sexual relations with other people this means he infact might be addicted to sex. Is he working, does he hold a stable job?
You know, you really have to think about yourself, you have to deal with the misbehaviour of your husband, there is help out there for sex-addicts (just like for any other addiction) but the process to heal someone might take a long time and most important of all - he must totally admit it and want to change his ways.
As long as you have to be suspicious - and you obviously have your reasons - your marriage is in trouble AND YOUR HEALTH. Can you live with all these worries?
One more question I forgot to ask: Do you already have a child or even children together? I know you want the perfect family. As long as no children are involved in a marriage its much easier to end a relationship. Kids will change the whole picture in many cases.
[This message has been edited by Tigerlily (edited 03 September 2005).]
Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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Naive, when u met him - he was like never anybody before, wasn't he? Now u see addiction,instincts. There is nothing to do with u. Perhaps u have sth he needs but it's not healthy. Go away, please!U CAN build ur own life again. Trust.Calm down, despite of strong stimulation...Takes time but u win. He must see his problem himself. He has many people around but nobody with him.But this is his problem and he must tidy up, not u.He must say "I want, I'm sorry", not u. Take care. Posts: 810 | Registered: Aug 2005
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No children. He wants it, but I do not feel safe yet. I am his wife and answering all your questions....No, I do not want to live like this all my life. I do not want to have children with a sick person. I am a smart person in everything I handle in my life. But, when it comes to my feelings...I am totally weak. As I said before I had a wonderful childhood and a lovely family and I grew up taking care of each other and helping each other, no matter what. I want to have a "normal" life with a normal husband. I cannot leave him like this now. He is really sick. I am glad some people understand that here! Some other don't, I don’t blame them. I know it is hard to understand. But I promise it will be my very last effort. If he doesn't change now. I will have to take my own way. I want to have children and a happy family. Thank you very much for all your information. I want to know if there is any place like Sex AA in Egypt and if an illness like this will be treated as an illness in Egypt or not. I also want to know if it could be helpful I talk to his family about his problem? Posts: 12 | Registered: Sep 2005
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I admire your tenacity and unending patience in trying to make a relationship work that a majority of people think will end only in ruination. I see in you a trait of loyalty that is not only exceptional but very rare.Some may say it is misguided but it is admirable in my eyes. ( watch them all attack me for this) I hope it does not get too confusing with so much advice coming in from all angles but if you really want to make this relationship work you have to be completely honest not only with yourself but with him as well. Sit him down and explain to him exactly how you are feeling show him this site if need be...(if you do message for him: YOU ****8 STUPID MAN WHAT ARE YOU DOING. in a way i understand you but you got to change now for the better or lose this speacial woman and believe me you dont know what you have till its gone....dont make that mistake.) I find sometimes when I want to say something important ot some one I write a letter,sit them down and read it to them.that way i get to say all i want to say.Secondly instead of moving to egypt where in a way it may be he will continue i suggest you go to saudi arabia where if he does try his funny business....the consequences are going to be alot greater than in terms of the egypt.nothing focus's the mind of a man than the possibility that he will face certain like death for his actions that are not unchecked. I've been fighting in wars and battles along side some people and it's only when they see the possibilty that death is certain that they focus thier minds,they realise alot and appreciate thier loved ones when they are on the verge of losing them.....funny but we should appreciate the bond of family in times of plenty but people take this for granted. I hope I have made sense and im not just blabbling on but i sincerely wish you all the best in the decision that YOU WILL HAVE TO MAKE. YOU AND ONLY YOU.
Posts: 39 | From: United Kindom | Registered: Aug 2005
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quote:Originally posted by naive: I want to know if there is any place like Sex AA in Egypt
I don't know about any self support group in Egypt but I found on the internet two contacts for therapists/councelors:
Egypt
Hosam Y. Abdel-Magid, M.D. 6 Abdel Moneim El Sharkawy St. Morad Street . Giza 12211 Cairo EGYPT Phone: (213)825-0243 ABS Certification No. 2280 ABS Certified Sex Therapist ABS Certified Sex Counselor Clinical Fellow, AACS SSTAR,UCLA Human Sex. program
Heba Kotb, M.D., Ph.D. Grad. of Maimonides University 249 Sudan Street, Midan Lebnan Mohandessen Cairo Egypt 12411 Phone:+20101648560 + 2023036708 email: kotbheba@yahoo.com ABS Certification No. 2667 ABS Board Certified Clinical Sexologist Specialties: clinical sexologist, marriage counselor
quote:Originally posted by Tigerlily: I don't know about any self support group in Egypt but I found on the internet two contacts for therapists/councelors:
Good luck!
Thank you Tiger and everybody else, every single post in this thread have been very helpful. I really appreciated
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[QUOTE]Originally posted by braveheart: I admire your tenacity and unending patience in trying to make a relationship work that a majority of people think will end only in ruination. I see in you a trait of loyalty that is not only exceptional but very rare.Some may say it is misguided but it is admirable in my eyes. ( watch them all attack me for this) I hope it does not get too confusing with so much advice coming in from all angles but if you really want to make this relationship work you have to be completely honest not only with yourself but with him as well. Sit him down and explain to him exactly how you are feeling show him this site if need be...(if you do message for him: YOU ****8 STUPID MAN WHAT ARE YOU DOING. in a way i understand you but you got to change now for the better or lose this speacial woman and believe me you dont know what you have till its gone....dont make that mistake.) I find sometimes when I want to say something important ot some one I write a letter,sit them down and read it to them.that way i get to say all i want to say.Secondly instead of moving to egypt where in a way it may be he will continue i suggest you go to saudi arabia where if he does try his funny business....the consequences are going to be alot greater than in terms of the egypt.nothing focus's the mind of a man than the possibility that he will face certain like death for his actions that are not unchecked. I've been fighting in wars and battles along side some people and it's only when they see the possibilty that death is certain that they focus thier minds,they realise alot and appreciate thier loved ones when they are on the verge of losing them.....funny but we should appreciate the bond of family in times of plenty but people take this for granted. I hope I have made sense and im not just blabbling on but i sincerely wish you all the best in the decision that YOU WILL HAVE TO MAKE. YOU AND ONLY YOU. [/QUOTE
Thanks for your words and concern. I can't go to Saudi Arabia, I already apply for jobs over there and they rejected me, as well as Qatar since I am a foreign woman and they just hire men. I already got accepted in Egypt.
You said in a way you understand him, tell me how? I want to help him and understand him. I am living in a nightmare as anybody would live if a loved one have a serious illness. I used to be Christian and Allhundelilla I converted to the Islam. sometimes I am lost trying to understand his idiosyncrasy, his culture and his way of thinking. Even though I know his illness is not directly related to his background.
[This message has been edited by naive (edited 03 September 2005).]
quote:Originally posted by Serendipity: Naive, I dont know what to say to you. your story really shocked me. But really he is not only ruining himself and your relationship but he is ruining you too! Look you cant let him misuse you like that! Men who cheat will not understand what they are doing untill you leave them and they see the consequence of their actions. Plz dont let him use you anymore. Cause he is doing it right now! You diserve much better than that! From what you've written you seem to be a very faithfull wife and a wife who will do anything for her husband. BUt your husband are not appreciating this. And what he is doing is not Halal. and its ruining your life slowly and very painfully. This is not love. and its far away from marriage. Dont you think you diserve better? a man who loves ONLY you. No matter what his sexual desires are, he is a humanbeing for God's sake not an animal. And as he is a humanbeing he should be able to be held responsible for his actions. Which seems to be forgotten here. Sorry if I am being harsh here. I just hate it when ppl abuse the goodness and love of others. And last I want to ask you, Do you think you will ever have a normal life with him? do you want to have children and him as their father? do you want to grow old with a man that cannot seem to understand the word "faithfull". ask yourselves, do you want to live in a life where you wonder every sec what he might be doing right now? Or wonder if you will ever get a "normal" life.. Or if you only stopped loving him. Do you want to sacrifice yourself, for the "love" where your husband has forgotten that in love and marriage there is "us" not "me". Dont think you cant live without him...cause you obviously are not "living" right now.
I hope you think things over... for your own sake, that both of you seem to forget.
Naive, you are smart, follow what seren said, leave him now, not tomorrow, forget him and start new clean life.But if you insist to try, go to Egypt, try to know respected family, learn Arabic, his chance in Egypt is less. Good luck.
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if u think by coming to egypt its going to help fix the problem thats not true he will have more freedom here to do as he pleases and u can do nothing about it and if u think egypt is less tempting of women ur wrong also there are women here also. if ur are really wanting to try to fix the problem dont run to another place fix it were it started but really it sounds as if he does what he wants and he is using u taking u for grantite and asuming u will always forgive him. stop being a door mat he is not the only man in the world. good luck to you. you will need it.. Posts: 72 | Registered: Jul 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Paint Me As I Am: If he is a man who fears God and loves, he will turn from his wicked ways and not put ur life in danger as well as him self by comitting adultry.. To forgive and still love a person is one thing, but- to be taken advantage for ur heart of good will is another..
Talk to some one at your mosque- (or a close sister) You shouldn't have to live ur life in doubt and who knows where he has been and how many he has been with..
Demand a HIV test as well- it is ur life on the line as well... Even if he was to say he has used Condoms still that is not consider 100% safe..
Life is to short to live it in doubt and fear- especially if u just said he would kill u for anything.. NO NEED TO LIFE LIFE LIKE THAT..
No one can change unless they want to change them selves as well- the power of God is Almighty...
Tell him if he wants to save his marriage to stay in counseling even if u may have already done that-
If he will not change his ways then u do what u feel is right..
When my ex- husband started cheating ( i gave him chances to get his ACT together ) i told him he had no more rights to touch me unless he cleaned his act up and brought me a paper from the Dr. saying he was free from any dieases,...he blames me for that and my religion(Islam) cuz- i had just converted at that time.
Only u know the man ur married to- no one else does...
Pray and seek for Allah to guide u, seek ferventley for the prayer to be answered.. The Quran is full of Wisdom and Knowledge take and apply it to ur life and May u find ur decession..
Salam...Jannah
May Allah give u peace in ur heart...
Thank you Jannah for your concern. I would never even think to cheat on my husband doesn't matter who he is, no way. I just said "he will kill me" as a way of talking. I know he will not forgive something like that. But, I also know he would not kill me.
It is very hard to talk to a sister about something like this. Here in ES nobody knows me and nobody see my face. But, person to person is another story. In the Mosque is in the only place I feel totally comfortable to cry, to pray, to relax, and everybody know us. I don't want to take the chance to loose that. We did talk to an Eman from another Mosque who was full of wisdom and he began to help us. He began to call my husband almost everyday to check on him. Sometimes he came home for dinner or lunch, and they read the Coran, and sometimes we discussed some issues and the Eman guided us a lot and helped us a lot, he made my husband and I cry together and laugh together in front of him. I felt it was a bless form God he was helping us and I saw him as a father for us. But, according to my husband the Eman asked him to divorce me and at the same time he told him he was looking for a wife. My husband stopped seeing him.
I want to know if once in Egypt we could find an Eman like him that would be open to help my husband (by himself). Because I know the law is different and maybe the Eman here are more open minded than in Egypt, please do not misunderstand me. What I mean is that here is not a crime what could be a crime in Egypt.
I pray and read the Holy Coram everyday. I think Allah sent me this challenge to see if I would take the easy way just dumping him. If it is not like that, I pray Allah to let me see the right way. If he doesn't change I believe there would be the time that I will feel I did more than enough and it is the time to stop and get divorce. But in the meantime something better could happen and Allah would make him change for good and make my heart fell strong and safe and we can be a happy family ever after. Insha Allah
[This message has been edited by naive (edited 04 September 2005).]
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Asalamualaykum naive, Firstly I feel shocked also and just pray for you that you will find the decision.
I am not marriage yet I think I am not capable to give advise but I just remember from the hadits " If you did not have the answer let Allah (god almighty) answer and patient to wait the answer. Keep praying and believe soon or later Allah might give the answer what will you do" sometime with the logic we can not find the answer.
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My husband is Egyptian and he says honestly that he will kill me if i ever cheat on him. He is not violent in anyway, is extremely open minded and i have total freedom in everything..working, going out with friends until late..having male friends etc. But for this point he is very strong. If anybody else told me this i would probably say it is deplorable but for me somehow i can understand because i love this man and luckily i know i will never cheat on him. Also he believes it is fair if i do the same...
Posts: 48 | From: Cairo Egypt | Registered: Aug 2005
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USA is a candy store for foreign men and it will be difficult for those men who have no self control. A taste for everyone and everyone tasty! Wake up and smell the aroma of deceit and take action.
Posts: 1290 | From: usa | Registered: May 2005
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posted
My ex-husband was shagging my best friend for 2 years behind my back.. after being together for 29 years... it was 2 years before I found out... iI.... I could NEVER have trusted him again.... a relationship is nothing without trust!
Posts: 4238 | From: USA | Registered: Jul 2004
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