quote:Originally posted by Tigerlily: I would not say I was ugly back then, I was very young
I saw your picture from when you were older than that and I thought you were very pretty.
quote:Originally posted by Tigerlily: I had taxi drivers, waiters, fruit & vegetable sellers, people in animation (oh forgot security guys at hotels etc. trying to hook up with me - especially when they heard I am from Germany.
... He went on how nice I am and that he loves Germany blah-blah...
During my first couple of years here it used to seriously confuse me when people told me how they liked Germany. I felt it was weird and superficial because actually they didn't know anything about Germany at all.
But now I just take those remarks as an attempt to be friendly and I often reply in a joking manner, referring to the German soccer team or whatever. I tell them that I love Cairo, that the weather is great in Egypt and that I find Egyptian girls beautiful. And when a taxi driver tells me he hopes I'll find an Egyptian husband soon insha'allah, I just reply yes, I hope so, insha'allah. Posts: 3587 | Registered: Mar 2006
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quote:Originally posted by Sashyra8: <people in animation>
What exactly are this people?Animating what,TL?
Animators - I think it is those people who work in the 5* or 4* hotels making guests play volleyball and the like.
Posts: 5593 | From: Egypt | Registered: Dec 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Dalia*: I had some young boy grab my breast while passing by on a bicycle, also in a very upscale part of Mohandessen. He was lucky he was on a bike ...
Another time a guy came up from behind and grabbed my butt; he was beaten up by a couple of other guys who had watched the scene. Actually, that was the only time someone interfered when I was being harassed.
Yes I wish other people - especially men - would interfere way more often if women get harassed on the street by other guys.
quote:Originally posted by Dalia*: And when a taxi driver tells me he hopes I'll find an Egyptian husband soon insha'allah, I just reply yes, I hope so, insha'allah.
Insha'allah, Dalia*, insha'allah!! Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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quote:Originally posted by Sashyra8: <people in animation>
What exactly are this people?Animating what,TL?
Animators - I think it is those people who work in the 5* or 4* hotels making guests play volleyball and the like.
Correct, Oldbag. These people can be really pesty!!
Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
It does sound like you have all had some really bad experiences and I'm sorry that I was sceptical at first. Truly I am. I am interested as to whether this happens to muslim women in hijab, Egyptian or western women and whether clothing or ethnicity has anything to do with it? Also, do the men do it mostly in areas like the markets/shops etc, when they are in groups or when they are alone? AND finally, does it happen more when you are alone or with other girls? what about if you are with an older Egyptian woman, would they still do it?
Posts: 918 | From: Earth | Registered: Jan 2008
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posted
It has never happened to me when I am with my husband, but I was wearing abaya with hijab one day when a guy rode past me (riding the same direction as I was walking) and he reached out and grabbed my butt as he passed me and kept going~
quote:Originally posted by Mrs: I am interested as to whether this happens to muslim women in hijab, Egyptian or western women and whether clothing or ethnicity has anything to do with it?
Of course it happens to women in hijab. If you take a look at the article I posted earlier on, you can see that basically all women in Egypt get harassed, although about 90% of them are covering their head. It does not matter what you wear.
IMO Western women get more harassment because many people have weird misconceptions about us. It has often happened to me that there were Egyptian girls around me, yet I was the one getting harassed.
quote:Originally posted by Mrs: Also, do the men do it mostly in areas like the markets/shops etc, when they are in groups or when they are alone? AND finally, does it happen more when you are alone or with other girls?
They do it in all areas, on the streets, in stores, malls, in front of mosques, in groups or on their own. To me, it happens more when I am with other women. For example, I mentioned before that I don't get much harassment in downtown. But one day I was walking there with a group of German friends (all veiled) and we couldn't even walk a few steps without people throwing comments at us.
Those are my experiences, others might differ ...
Posts: 3587 | Registered: Mar 2006
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As rape and sexual harassment become staples of public debate, Serene Assir tunes in to street attitudes towards two disconcerting phenomena
A few weeks after Dar Al-Ifta's issuing of a fatwa (edict) ruling that Islam sanctions abortions for female rape victims, the public debate that was unleashed over the case of Hend Mohamed, an 11-year-old who gave birth in 2006 has only grown murkier. To begin with, the public was united in sympathy with Mohamed; that is before DNA tests proved the man she had accused of raping her was innocent.
Meanwhile, the fatwa, issued on the back of escalating efforts by MPs seeking to implement into law the right to abort in rape cases, has injected new life into the debate. The fatwa, according to Sheikh Emad Effat of Dar Al-Ifta, "is by no means intended to solve the problem of rape, but rather to help female victims." In other words, the decision to allow abortion up until the 120th day of a rape victim's pregnancy emerges as a response both to a growing sensibility towards the rights of victims and to a mounting conviction in the proliferation of what has been termed in countless opinion columns and radio and television shows over recent years in Egypt as fawda akhlaqiya, or moral chaos. "We need to make sure that the victim does not live in shame," Effat added in an interview with Al-Ahram Weekly. "As for rape itself, much more needs to be done before we can see an improvement in the country's current record."
According to the Cairo-based Egyptian Centre for Women's Rights (ECWR), at least 20,000 women are raped in Egypt every year. In line with global findings, the vast majority of rape victims know their attackers, who are usually relatives. "Very often, particularly in poor urban or urbanising areas, where poverty is rife, families of eight or 10 will share a single room," coordinator for ECWR's programme on sexual harassment, Engy Ghozlan, told the Weekly. "Such living conditions, combined with the increasing economic difficulties that are preventing marriage, are attributed by some as being factors towards the incidence of rape. In addition, street attacks are continuing to happen, creating fear amongst some women from going about their daily lives alone."
To Effat, the roots of the problem run deeper. "A social transformation is taking place in Egypt under the influences of globalisation," he said. "Violence has grown, as has alienation. People are growing lost amidst the crumbling of a society traditionally based on collectivism." But also in line with global trends, although reported cases of rape are far outnumbered by those that never involve the state, the fact that sexual crimes are now more openly discussed in the media and, of course, the blogosphere begs the question as to whether rape really is on the rise, or whether we are now just hearing more about it. "Thirty years ago," said Ghozlan, "a girl in trouble would receive instant help, thereby not necessitating the intervention of the state. Maybe the difference is that now people turn their attention away and behave in a more isolated way. Perhaps it is because of this that only when the worst has happened does the public outcry occur."
Ever since the subject of sexual harassment was thrown into the glare of publicity by incidents of police involvement in harassment during a demonstration held on 25 May 2005 and of public indifference towards harassment during Eid Al-Adha festivities in 2006, coverage by the independent media and intensified efforts by a small number of highly active NGOs have led to the establishment of a more open debate. "That has led to a stronger public consciousness of the phenomenon," said Ghozlan. "But that doesn't mean harassment is by any means decreasing." Indeed, according to long-time Cairo resident Nadia, "harassment is constant and is done in a variety of ways. Essentially, whatever it is, whether it is a stare, a sexual comment, groping or even exhibitionism, I am left with the feeling that there is nothing I can do about a man's behaviour towards me. This is not a good feeling to begin or end your day with."
Meanwhile, according to a group of four young men sipping late-night tea and playing dominos at a Cairo café, "if I'm in my car and I am following a girl who is dressed in a suggestive way, I am doing exactly what she wants me to do," said 33-year-old Ahmed. "On more than one occasion, I have developed a relationship with a girl I have picked up off the street. So we try, and sometimes, it works." Ahmed's friend Hossam, aged 31, acquiesces that it was " haram" (forbidden) to behave in such a way. "But it's not only us -- the women participate. Why, I have picked up women who wear the khemar [long veil covering up to the waist] before. People aren't thinking about what's right and what's wrong, but rather about what they can get away with. And believe me, even though many of us won't talk openly about it, we get away with a lot."
It is, of course, no secret that beneath the strict moral code that has traditionally been associated with public conduct in Egypt, there exist all types of obsessive human behaviour rooted in repressed sexuality. Perhaps genuine efforts at addressing harassment ought to deal more with reality, thereby easing the current growing mistrust and misunderstanding between genders. A case in point: while Ahmed vehemently believes that "girls like to be followed," Nadia expresses genuine fear of and anger at such male behaviour.
ECWR's Ghozlan is of the opinion that society is changing rapidly. "There are so many different trends people don't know what to believe anymore," she said. "While in some neighbourhoods, a certain dress code will be a signal to men that a woman is out of bounds, in another she will attract attention. There is no longer a safe method of identification."
Left with this prospect, perhaps the only real way forward now is to keep bringing the issue out into the open to encourage a constant stream of public discussion and exchange of views.
posted
Its weird though isn't it, In a country that is 'concerned' at the increase of Islam, and trying to fight against it, the un islamic behaviour displayed is the complete opposite of what is reported to be happening??
What were the men like in the 1960's when Egypt was more westernized? Did they do it then?
Your article highlighted my point earlier Dalia, that if some women are responding to such behaviour, some men will continue to try their luck.
Posts: 918 | From: Earth | Registered: Jan 2008
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quote:Originally posted by Mrs: It does sound like you have all had some really bad experiences and I'm sorry that I was sceptical at first. Truly I am. I am interested as to whether this happens to muslim women in hijab, Egyptian or western women and whether clothing or ethnicity has anything to do with it? Also, do the men do it mostly in areas like the markets/shops etc, when they are in groups or when they are alone? AND finally, does it happen more when you are alone or with other girls? what about if you are with an older Egyptian woman, would they still do it?
Nooo,it has happened to almost every woman either living or visiting Egypt. For the quazillion time i will repeat that i was butt slapped while walking around Tahrir Square in very modest clothes:long sleeved loose tunic top down to my knees over jeans. Posts: 3833 | From: here,there,everywhere | Registered: Nov 2007
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posted
in the 60's etc there was no harassment according to 7ayat an egyptian here.
They wore western clothing and lived western lives in Cairo. Drank alcohol, women smoked, wore the latest western fashions. No problems it seems.
Covering up and getting all pseudo islamic has heightened sexual tensions and this has led to rape and harassment of women today.
Men want to 'know and touch' what is under the cloak ans unfortunately in Cairo this is without the womans permission.
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quote:Originally posted by harankash: Covering up and getting all pseudo islamic has heightened sexual tensions and this has led to rape and harassment of women today.
If that was the only thing that had changed in Egypt since the 60s then your argument might be sound, as it is it neglects all the other things that have happened since then, such as: 27 years of a state of emergency, lack of freedom of speech, increased materialism, increased expectations from university education followed by increased unemployment, more exposure to the outside world and different values through the internet and satellite tv, increased access to sexually stimulating images, difficulty in getting married due to increased materialism coupled with decreased economic power, etc. etc.
The reactions to all those changes have been increases in both the extremities: an increase in westernised material lifestyle (especially amongst the 5% of the population who hold most of the wealth) and an increase in religious adherence and religious symbolism by both rich and poor. And in the middle, there is a whole mass of people who are frustrated (and not just sexually) who are unable to release their frustrations in meaningful ways, and so many of them resort to antisocial behaviours, harrassment of women being just one of them.
It's not a reaction to increased religious clothing - if it was it would be seen all over the Muslim world as this is not an Egypt-related phenomena, it's a world-wide change - it's just another symptom that has come as a result of all the other factors that have changed in this country since the 60s.
Posts: 4576 | From: Cairo | Registered: Jun 2002
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posted
Even if the women cover up and the sexual tensions raise in Egypt, that is not a reason to harrass the women. Posts: 384 | Registered: Jan 2008
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This evening I went to the West Bank to meet my husband, he said meet me in the playground. I know the playground well, but at night the only lighting is floodlights on the pitch, only one was on as there was no match. When I arrived I couldnt see him as it was dark. I know his shape in the dark but he was not there. I called, he said he would be 5 minutes So I sat on a bench and waited. There were a few groups of Egyptian men drinking tea and a few walking around. 15 minutes passed and I thought I must look like a hooker sitting there on a bench in the dark all alone!!!
NOT ONE!!
I complained to hubby for leaving me there 15 minutes looking like a prostitute and NO BUSINESSS, not even ONE
-------------------- If you don't learn from your mistakes, there's no sense making them. Posts: 15090 | From: http://www.egyptalk.com/forum/ | Registered: Jul 2004
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quote:Originally posted by Ayisha: well I have a complaint
This evening I went to the West Bank to meet my husband, he said meet me in the playground. I know the playground well, but at night the only lighting is floodlights on the pitch, only one was on as there was no match. When I arrived I couldnt see him as it was dark. I know his shape in the dark but he was not there. I called, he said he would be 5 minutes So I sat on a bench and waited. There were a few groups of Egyptian men drinking tea and a few walking around. 15 minutes passed and I thought I must look like a hooker sitting there on a bench in the dark all alone!!!
NOT ONE!!
I complained to hubby for leaving me there 15 minutes looking like a prostitute and NO BUSINESSS, not even ONE
not even 1 Posts: 9443 | From: USA...... | Registered: Jun 2006
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quote:Originally posted by Ayisha: well I have a complaint
This evening I went to the West Bank to meet my husband, he said meet me in the playground. I know the playground well, but at night the only lighting is floodlights on the pitch, only one was on as there was no match. When I arrived I couldnt see him as it was dark. I know his shape in the dark but he was not there. I called, he said he would be 5 minutes So I sat on a bench and waited. There were a few groups of Egyptian men drinking tea and a few walking around. 15 minutes passed and I thought I must look like a hooker sitting there on a bench in the dark all alone!!!
NOT ONE!!
I complained to hubby for leaving me there 15 minutes looking like a prostitute and NO BUSINESSS, not even ONE
not even 1
Micky not even a 'hello' 'salam ya haja' nothing!! and it was dark, I could have been a right young dolly under this hijab and NOTHING! Posts: 15090 | From: http://www.egyptalk.com/forum/ | Registered: Jul 2004
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posted
Smucks, often but not last night when I was sat alone
Mrs, this is West Bank we're talking about, probably 70% illiterate in Arabic never mind English
Hubby kinda burst my bubble a bit when I complained to him about it, he said 'but they all know you my wife'
-------------------- If you don't learn from your mistakes, there's no sense making them. Posts: 15090 | From: http://www.egyptalk.com/forum/ | Registered: Jul 2004
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posted
Yup, they showed respect for you! They knew if they would start harassing you they'd get the bill later from your husband!! Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
Just came across this post regarding harassment in Saudi Arabia on a blog I sometimes read ...
Name and Shame
I propose a website, called "Aayb Alayk" (Shame on You), which would name and shame the Kingdom's bad boys.
Ladies, next time you’re receiving unwanted attention, whip out those mobiles and start filming them in action. Extra points will be given if license plates are clearly displayed in the film or if the culprits give their names. We can then upload these incriminating videos to the Aayb Alayk page.Any type of bad behavior can be filmed as long as its done in the public sphere; stunt driving in traffic as well as flirting are just a few of the possibilities.
Why should we let them get away with chasing us at high speeds in their shiny sports cars, endangering our lives while trying to shout their numbers at us, even when we are accompanied by our men in some instances? Why must we feel compelled to avoid certain shopping centers and malls because it’s a well known flirting gallery?
In what must have been a busy day for the MIB-Men In Beards (aka Muttawwa), 57 men were nabbed in Meccan shopping malls for trying to harass and/or flirt with women.
And girls, I know not all of you are innocent victims of male aggression. You know who you are, Miss Pops-Open-To-See-My-Miniskirt-Skinny-Abaya with your toxic applications of perfume, come-hither eye-makeup and your crippling stilettos. And we know you don't have your period even though you spent Maghrib prayer while the shops were closed primping in the Mall's bathrooms instead of praying. I'm not addressing you, you irreligious hussy. I'm speaking to women who aren't soliciting this type of attention from men.
posted
Looks like Saudi Arabia has the same problem!! Thanks, Dalia*!!!
Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
بنعمل فيلم تسجيلى إستقصائى بالجهود الذاتية يهدف لرصد ظاهرة التحرشات فى الشارع المصرى الفيلم لا يتبع أى جهة رسمية أو قناة فضائية أو محلية ولا أى مركز ابحاث ******* طبيعة الفيلم تقوم على متابعة عدد من الفتيات والسيدات على الطبيعة أثناء سيرهم فى الشارع بالكاميرا لمدة 5 دقائق .. وتصوير المضايقات التى يمكن أن يتعرضن أثناء سيرهن فى الشارع على الطبيعة ثم يتم حصر عدد المضايقات بالنسبة لعدد الفتيات أو السيدات محل الدراسة ******* مطلوب متطوعات لتصوير الفيلم *******
We are currently working on an independent documentary to monitor and record sexual harassment on Egyptian streets. The documentary is not part of any official entity, local or satellite channel, or any research institute. The documentary is based on following a number of females around for five minutes as they walk in the street. Our aim is to get footage of the forms of harassment they get exposed to while running errands. At a later stage, the forms will be categorized and will be studied independently.
CAIRO — At the Embaba Youth Center in Cairo, teenage girls in headscarves that signify Islamic modesty whack at each other with deft karate moves.
It’s fun, they say, but also a defense against nasty boys and men on the Egyptian capital’s mean streets.
“No one is going to touch me when I can hit them real hard,” said Nada Gamal Saad, 16.
The training is a grassroots reaction to a problem Cairo women’s groups say is growing: public verbal insults, groping and even rape. Such harassment contrasts with emerging signs of female political advancement in Egypt and other countries across the Middle East.
“Changes for women are surface improvements,” said Madiha el-Safty, a sociology professor at the American University in Cairo. “There is a deeper cultural problem: male hostility toward women who want to do more than stay at home.”
In his June 4 speech in Cairo, President Barack Obama said that women’s rights constituted one of six friction points between the United States and the Muslim world. “I am convinced that our daughters can contribute just as much to society as our sons,” he said. “I respect those women who choose to live their lives in traditional roles, but it should be their choice.”
There are some baby-steps of progress. Last month, four women in Kuwait were elected to the country’s 50-member Parliament, four years after women were first given the vote. Saudi Arabia pledged to the United Nations this month to end the requirement that women get permission from a male relative to work, travel, study or marry.
In Iran, Zahra Rahnavard became the first candidate’s wife to participate in her husband’s campaign when former Prime Minister Mir Hussein Moussavi ran for president against Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, on June 12. Mr. Moussavi lost and has claimed the voting was rigged.
On June 14, Egypt’s lower house of Parliament agreed to provide women with 64 guaranteed new seats in future elections. Eight women currently sit in the 454-member assembly. The government’s Justice Ministry is also reviewing a proposed law to expand a statute that prohibits unspecified “physical sexual offenses.” The new measure would detail actions considered sexual harassment, including public indecency and any kind of sexual touching.
Still, chronic offensive behavior suggests the horizon for equality in Egypt — where government statistics say that women make up about 25 percent of the work force — may be far off. Eighty-three percent of Egyptians and 98 percent of foreigners in a survey of 1,010 women last year said they were insulted or groped on Cairo streets.
“We’re going backwards,” said Rasha Hassan, a researcher at the Egyptian Center for Women’s Rights, an independent civil-liberties monitoring group in Cairo that conducted the survey.
A half-dozen girls in the working-class district of Embaba practice karate at the youth center, even though it cannot afford mats.
“At least, this will help me to look confident and maybe keep bad people away,” said Nourhan Nasser Sayed, 16.
Since March, Community Times, a monthly Cairo magazine, has run testimonies from women about being harassed. In the June edition, an Egyptian said she was walking with a female friend in Maadi, an upscale southern suburb, when a man reached out from a car and grabbed her companion’s buttocks.
Fifteen sexual harassment cases have been filed since October, when a man was sentenced to three years in jail for grabbing a woman’s breast on the street. The conviction was Egypt’s first on harassment charges, Ms. Hassan said. “Before, no one would bother” going to court, she said. That case “helped encourage people who want to speak out.”
Ms. Safty recalls that women wore sundresses and miniskirts no more than two decades ago in Cairo. Now most sport long sleeves, trousers and headscarves. Even the scarves, mandated by some Muslims as a sign of piety, are no defense: Seventy-two percent of women in the survey reported wearing them when the inappropriate behavior occurred.
“Our grandmothers had more freedom than we do, without the harassment,” Ms. Safty said.
She blames the change partly on frustrated young men who lack jobs and money and get their kicks insulting women. Another influence is “wayward” Islamic teaching that defines women as sexual objects to be confined at home, she said.
Mohamed Nasef, spokesman for the government’s National Council for Women, said that reports of harassment were “exaggerated.” Anyway, “it happens everywhere,” he said.
His office is headed by Suzanne Mubarak, wife of President Hosni Mubarak, who played down incidents that emerged in November, saying “Egyptian men always respect Egyptian women.”
Down the hall from Mr. Nasef, Samah Said had a different perspective. “There’s really a regression here,” noted Ms. Said, who runs the council’s department for combating violence against women. “Gallantry is dead.”
Do Egyptian men care? Last week, a reporter approached a group of eight who were making vulgar catcalls to a woman boarding a taxi in Tahrir Square in central Cairo. Asked what they were doing, they responded that they were just admiring the lady.
posted
Mwah, when I should have no money and no job, would I get my kicks out of making sexual tainted remarks, unwanted intimacy or worse? I really don't think so. First of all because it wouldn't even come into mind- as for most women- so why does it come in mind by men? Is it one of the learned behaviours, as you should be friendly, and you should keep your fingers off of somebody elses belongings? Or should it be something like the hidden fear for being punished by society, who doesnt appreciate thieves, or unpolite behaviour? Should it be punished harder? Or should it be a matter of the women themselves, who have to make that turn into their own minds and don't accept anything they don't want? Making women more assertive is one step, making men aware is another...
-------------------- “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.” Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
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When I heard men shout these insults on two separate occasions as I walked down the street in Kabul and Abu Dhabi, respectively, I was stung.
Being stared or yelled at is just part of the experience of working and living in this region. But I never get used to it. Indeed women all over Asia and the Middle East are harassed constantly.
Western women are targets, but so are our Arab, Indian, Nepali, Bangladeshi and Pakistani sisters. We are stared at, called names and sometimes assaulted by men. Which is why part of me cheered when Al Bawadi Mall in Al Ain announced earlier this week that labourers had been banned on weekday evenings and weekends following a litany of complaints about harassment.
The Emirates is the most female-friendly country in the Middle East. The Government’s efforts to encourage women to use public spaces is admirable. The Abu Dhabi beach was quickly divided into two sections last year after women expressed their discomfort at gangs of labourers roaming about and leering. Emirati men are courteous. They never stare.
By contrast, sexual harassment levels in Egypt are endemic. In the Punjab and Karachi, images of women on billboards are defaced or just banned.
When I lived in Kabul, cars with men at the wheel occasionally raced in my direction and swerved out of the way just before hitting me. A British-Asian friend of mine was once pushed into a ditch of raw sewage on her way home from a press conference in the Afghan capital. The Taliban used to say a woman’s place was in the home or the graveyard.
Across the region this message is given in many variations, but the gist is aggressive and clear: respectable women do not belong in the public sphere. And those who venture outside the home are objects of scorn or fascination. There is certainly an element of racism and snobbery in Al Bawadi Mall’s decision. The labourers are poor South Asians and Arabs. Although it may be offensive to westerners, in some Asian cultures staring is normal behaviour. It is a popular pastime in India and Pakistan, where people stare at others to see what they are buying or wearing.
Many of the labourers in the Emirates have also had little exposure to the outside world because they are from small towns. When they move here, it is often their first contact with the rich and developed world. They have a natural curiosity about the way westerners live because they have snatched glimpses of it in films. European and North American expatriates have a lifestyle labourers can never hope to attain, and wandering around a mall on a hot Friday afternoon is an opportunity to experience that which embodies all the wealth, glamour and power of the West: the mobile phones, the high-definition televisions, men in clean, pressed suits, women in skimpy clothes.
I can’t blame them for that.
But the way many of them look at women is not the glance stolen by the man sitting across from you on the train in London, New York or Rome. In the West a stony look is enough to put an end to that. Instead it is a penetrating gaze that goes right to your core, combining lecherousness, intense curiosity or just hatred. It is sometimes accompanied by clicking noises meant to get a woman’s attention. It is humiliating.
The images of the riches of the developed world beamed from satellite TV also send a second message: western women are easy. This is the fault of Hollywood films featuring bimbos and the proliferation of pornography on the internet. Yet western women are also fascinating because they are considered a third gender. They look like females but have the independence of men. Men who have no shame at leering at women make clear distinctions between those who deserve respect and those who do not.
This view reveals itself in small ways. When I wear long, loose tunics and trousers it is much easier to flag a taxi in Abu Dhabi. Drivers will invariably stop for women in abayas or, even better, the niqab, because they are perceived as modest and good. But the drivers sometimes breeze past a woman in a dress with spaghetti straps because they assume she has no self-respect.
I have two wardrobes: one I wear in places like Egypt, Afghanistan and India; the other I reserve for parts of Dubai and Europe.
Many women wear a hijab to prevent unwanted attention but it doesn’t always work. In Egypt, harassment is part of daily life. In 2006, women in Cairo organised a demonstration with the slogan “the street is ours” to protest about the groping and taunting. In the 1990s, Moroccan women went on strike for the same reason.
Afghan women wear a burqa for safety: it is a barrier between them and the abuse. I sometimes wished I had one to slip over my head.
The concept of respect and the presence of a woman in public are linked. In most parts of South and West Asia and the Middle East, there are few opportunities for women to work outside the home, and education is partly to blame.
Only half of women in the Arab world are literate, and just 45 per cent of South Asian women can read and write. Female activists across the region have to battle the idea that the only role fit for a woman is to raise a family and that she should never leave the house unless she has permission from her father or husband. As a result, women make up only 15 per cent of the membership in Asia’s parliaments, and in Arab countries just eight per cent of parliamentarians are female, according to the UN Arab Human Development Report 2005.
In Afghanistan, when I stopped at villages to talk to people, word would get out that a single woman was on the street and I soon found myself being followed by dozens of men pointing and whispering. They would often point at my pen: the image of a lone woman writing in an illiterate society was alluring.
If they are allowed an education, in many Muslim societies children are segregated from an early age. Girls are covered from head to toe and they are taught that any interaction between the sexes before marriage is forbidden. Marriages are arranged in their late teens and there are no opportunities for the sexes to mix.
As they grow older, boys fetishise the female body so even a glimpse of an ankle or a wrist is tantalising. As adults, living in labour camps in the Emirates, they have no contact with wives back home, but there are plenty of Bollywood films for distraction with scenes of pouting girls in clinging wet saris dancing in the rain to heighten the excitement. By the time they encounter a blonde woman in jeans buying chicken at Carrefour ... well, it all becomes too much.
In Kuwait, women have been trying to resist efforts at segregating men and women in schools to prevent this fetishisation. It would be easy to blame the lechery on the rise of political Islam, which emphasises a traditional role for women and the need to protect women’s honour by limiting their mobility and access to the public sphere. But a colleague in Cairo once told me that she enjoyed going to Muslim Brotherhood demonstrations because the crowds of men always respectfully parted to allow her through.
Most of the men here who leer at women know it is wrong. They are from cultures where they are taught to avert their eyes when they see a girl, out of respect for her father and brothers.
I recently moved house and hired a moving company, staffed by Indian and Bangladeshi workers. The foreman in charge was more interested in watching my movements than doing his own job. I finally snapped.
“Why don’t you get on with your work? What if someone stared at your sister like that?”
When it becomes too much I create a mental buffer zone to tune out the calls and stares. If that doesn’t work I try the shoe trick. When the offender shouts an insult, I stop, point at his shoes and laugh.
It subtly shifts the balance of power. And I won’t get arrested.
posted
I never had any problems with harassment in Dubai but since I left there and moved to the Northern Emirates I get it constantly. There are very few western expats here and the population is mainly arabs and migrant workers.
I am constantly stared at by the labourers, people shout things on the street and from their cars if I am walking. I try not to walk anywhere because I feel really uncomfortable when groups of men start nudging each other and saying things as I walk past. We have ladies only queues in the banks here and I have to visit the bank on a weekly basis and the same things happens there. Also when I go to Carrefour.What I wear makes no difference.
I have been followed in my car on three separate occasions. Once when I was driving going from my home to the bank a group of Emirati men were driving alongside me and trying to get my attention. This lasted for more than 20 mins. I totally blanked them and when I pulled over and parked outside the bank they did as well and started trying to talk to me asking my name etc etc. I was really scared at the time and I didnt know how to deal with it other than ignore it like it wasn't happening
I never experienced anything like this in the UK
Posts: 500 | From: United Arab Emirates | Registered: Jul 2008
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quote:Originally posted by Dubai Girl: I never had any problems with harassment in Dubai but since I left there and moved to the Northern Emirates I get it constantly. There are very few western expats here and the population is mainly arabs and migrant workers.
I am constantly stared at by the labourers, people shout things on the street and from their cars if I am walking. I try not to walk anywhere because I feel really uncomfortable when groups of men start nudging each other and saying things as I walk past. We have ladies only queues in the banks here and I have to visit the bank on a weekly basis and the same things happens there. Also when I go to Carrefour.What I wear makes no difference.
I have been followed in my car on three separate occasions. Once when I was driving going from my home to the bank a group of Emirati men were driving alongside me and trying to get my attention. This lasted for more than 20 mins. I totally blanked them and when I pulled over and parked outside the bank they did as well and started trying to talk to me asking my name etc etc. I was really scared at the time and I didnt know how to deal with it other than ignore it like it wasn't happening
I never experienced anything like this in the UK
this kind of thing used to happen in UK back in the 60s and 70s especially by workmen, although not on the same scale. Now there are laws about this thankfully.
Posts: 15090 | From: http://www.egyptalk.com/forum/ | Registered: Jul 2004
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posted
Avoiding harassment in Egypt – 5 easy-to-follow steps
by Manar Ammar 28 September 2009
CAIRO: Avoiding sexual harassment in Egypt is as difficult as avoiding pollution: it’s in the air. Many of us pray for a thicker skin and the skill to cope with it but, if you are not one of the lucky ones who could leave the bad street experiences at the door, you are in for a tough time.
Many would agree that the Egyptian street is considered one of the safest in the world. Of course those who argue this, are males.
It is true that for men the street is a stress-free experience. They blend in, no curious, innocent, or not so innocent, looks; no comments; that are sure to hit your ear or even, in some cases, touching and groping. So yes, it is indeed a safe place in case you are a male. But if you belong to the other gender and happen to be in the age group of 16 to 60, then the street experience is subject to change.
From personal experience and experiences of those around me, I found that following few tips could help ease the pain of going from A to B i.e. leaving your house unaccompanied by a human male to go any where. Here they are:
1. Avoid eye contact while walking. Apparently in the male dictionary eye contact means: I love you, please say something. Use sunglasses during the day and at nighttime to look at the ground.
2. Wearing short skirts and sleeveless shirts is a harassment wish. Wear a shawl over it and you would be fine and remember the only thing in your outfit that could be transparent is your eyeglass.
3. Hunch your back. Forget about healthy straight backs for a while, as they are a chance for men to gaze at your chest. The Notre Dame walk is in this season.
4. Listen to music while walking. Ignorance of what is being said to and at you is a blessing in this country.
5. If none of the above works, order a Harry Potter invisibility cloak, put it on when leaving your house. Seriously, if you find on, please order me one, too.
quote:Originally posted by Dubai Girl: I never had any problems with harassment in Dubai but since I left there and moved to the Northern Emirates I get it constantly. There are very few western expats here and the population is mainly arabs and migrant workers.
I am constantly stared at by the labourers, people shout things on the street and from their cars if I am walking. I try not to walk anywhere because I feel really uncomfortable when groups of men start nudging each other and saying things as I walk past. We have ladies only queues in the banks here and I have to visit the bank on a weekly basis and the same things happens there. Also when I go to Carrefour.What I wear makes no difference.
I have been followed in my car on three separate occasions. Once when I was driving going from my home to the bank a group of Emirati men were driving alongside me and trying to get my attention. This lasted for more than 20 mins. I totally blanked them and when I pulled over and parked outside the bank they did as well and started trying to talk to me asking my name etc etc. I was really scared at the time and I didnt know how to deal with it other than ignore it like it wasn't happening
I never experienced anything like this in the UK
I had a guy last week pull over in the road and he basically told me to get in... I am sure you can imagine how I handled that I scared the life out of him.
I get comments all the time but I ignore them or reply in arabic telling them I understand everything (I don't but hey... they aren't bright enough to see through that lie lol)
I do not agree with the point about walking with your head down, to me this signifies you are weak and frightened... I stand tall, walk tall and if I see a guy even so much as think he can come over I say good morning how are you in Arabic and I find he soon scurries off...
I have had only 2 incidents here now in 17 years (both this summer) neither frightened me and I sufficiently sent the one packing convinced his tackle resembled that of a 7 year olds
Nor do I agree with wearing headphones, this is not even advised in the UK, you cannot hear traffic for eg. let alone be aware of the people around you, especially behind you.
Posts: 11097 | From: Cairo | Registered: May 2008
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quote:Originally posted by Pink Ferret: I had a guy last week pull over in the road and he basically told me to get in...
This happens to me quite often, and it really pisses me off. I have kicked quite a few car doors and smashed a mirror in cases like this. Since it's usually guys in nice, expensive cars who do that I suppose they weren't too happy about the damage I did to their status symbols.
quote:Originally posted by Pink Ferret: I do not agree with the point about walking with your head down, to me this signifies you are weak and frightened...
I was just thinking the same. How you carry yourself does make a difference -- not a big one, mind you, but it's definitely better to walk upright and look self-assured than hunched and timid.
Posts: 2803 | Registered: Feb 2007
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quote:Originally posted by Pink Ferret: I had a guy last week pull over in the road and he basically told me to get in...
This happens to me quite often, and it really pisses me off. I have kicked quite a few car doors and smashed a mirror in cases like this. Since it's usually guys in nice, expensive cars who do that I suppose they weren't too happy about the damage I did to their status symbols.
quote:Originally posted by Pink Ferret: I do not agree with the point about walking with your head down, to me this signifies you are weak and frightened...
I was just thinking the same. How you carry yourself does make a difference -- not a big one, mind you, but it's definitely better to walk upright and look self-assured than hunched and timid.
Exactly, kick them straight inb their status symbols.
I would NEVER bow my head, to ANYBODY. But that is how I was brought up... stand tall and be proud of yourself... even if you lose the race
Hunched.. not an attractive look either... why would you want to look like Quasimodo?????
Posts: 11097 | From: Cairo | Registered: May 2008
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quote:Originally posted by Pink Ferret: stand tall and be proud of yourself...
Especially useful when you're dealing with Egyptian men who generally tend to be on the shorter side. Straighten your back and give them a devastating look from above. Posts: 2803 | Registered: Feb 2007
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quote:Originally posted by Pink Ferret: stand tall and be proud of yourself...
Especially useful when you're dealing with Egyptian men who generally tend to be on the shorter side. Straighten your back and give them a devastating look from above.
I ws talking about height here yesterday to an Egyptian lady... she said I was tall. I commented I not tall really it is just the Egyptians in general (not all OBVIOUSLY) seem to be generally quite short. (shorter than me anyway) I noticed this when walking through Ain Shams University on Saturday. I am only 5' 8 but I do walk tall...
During weekends I wear heels and I like to be a good 5' 11
As a general rule though nobody can intimidate me... I don't care how big or tall they are.
Posts: 11097 | From: Cairo | Registered: May 2008
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posted
I lost my patience many times in the past with Egyptian guys on the street although I never kicked someone's car door in!!
It really helps when you have children by your side. My daughter is now ten and when we went to Cairo Downtown and other places a few months ago they left me alone. Really I didn't experience any harassment this time around. I just received the normal questions like where I am from etc.
See Dalia it's a bonus to have children - at least in Egypt!! Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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quote:Originally posted by Pink Ferret: I ws talking about height here yesterday to an Egyptian lady... she said I was tall. I commented I not tall really it is just the Egyptians in general (not all OBVIOUSLY) seem to be generally quite short. (shorter than me anyway) I noticed this when walking through Ain Shams University on Saturday. I am only 5' 8 but I do walk tall...
During weekends I wear heels and I like to be a good 5' 11
I still have a problem with feet and inches. How much is 5'8 in centimeters? About 175?
I'm 173 cm, which is about average (or a little bit more) in Germany, but I noticed in Egypt most women, and also many men, are shorter than me. I don't always like that since I don't like sticking out, but sometimes it can be useful.
quote:Originally posted by Tigerlily: See Dalia it's a bonus to have children - at least in Egypt!!
I can always borrow one if I want to.
But you are right -- I noticed when you walk around with a kid on your hand, the harassment is significantly less. Although I have a European friend who still got harassed when she was pregnant.
Posts: 2803 | Registered: Feb 2007
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posted
Dalia I am 180cm in my wedges... my weight height ration balcances out makes the BMI look better... naturally I am only 173 I wish I could be taller.
I would rather be told I look sexy than have a kid... some verbal harrassment seems a much better option Posts: 11097 | From: Cairo | Registered: May 2008
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quote:Originally posted by Pink Ferret: Dalia I am 180cm in my wedges... my weight height ration balcances out makes the BMI look better... naturally I am only 173 I wish I could be taller.
I would rather be told I look sexy than have a kid... some verbal harrassment seems a much better option
Honestly, I think I am the only person who has never been harrassed. I walk by myself and never hear one comment. The day Pink Ferret came to Maadi and was walking with me was the first time I heard comments. And they were directed at her not me.
I must be very unattractive by Egyptian standards. LOL.
Posts: 1626 | From: whatever, wherever | Registered: Jul 2008
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quote:Originally posted by Pink Ferret: Dalia I am 180cm in my wedges... my weight height ration balcances out makes the BMI look better... naturally I am only 173 I wish I could be taller.
I would rather be told I look sexy than have a kid... some verbal harrassment seems a much better option
Honestly, I think I am the only person who has never been harrassed. I walk by myself and never hear one comment. The day Pink Ferret came to Maadi and was walking with me was the first time I heard comments. And they were directed at her not me.
I must be very unattractive by Egyptian standards. LOL.
I get a lot of verbal harrassment but this is harmless.. i have had this in the UK.. I ignore this 99% of the time, it is only when I hear certain words do I react.
QSY... is that when you had a big rottweiller with you... I wsa scared of you then as well Posts: 11097 | From: Cairo | Registered: May 2008
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posted
No. Even when I don't have the dog. But someone told me it is because I don't look friendly and I never smile. I walk around looking as if I could snap someone's head off even when I am in a good mood. I think this comes from living in the Bronx. Mean streets made me tough.
Posts: 1626 | From: whatever, wherever | Registered: Jul 2008
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posted
^Oh I only wish that would work!!! I walk in Luxor like that and still get nasty remarks, also those "smile you are in Luxor" - he he
The thing is that in the long run this does not work for ME, it makes me feel stressed. Who on earth wants to walk around looking angry? And feeling angry.
I have a chance to go there but for this reason it is not so appealing anymore. Sad. I really like Luxor. But I'm getting drawn back to Finland more and more.
Posts: 758 | From: Finland | Registered: Jun 2006
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