quote:Originally posted by Ayisha: sono, you dont know my circumstances either so how can you make these assumptions about my life here? I am paid in Egyptian pounds, in cash and there are records of it, I have a legal work permit, come here and I will show you. You have absolutely NO proof of anything you say, same as you never have when you build peoples fantasy lives. I LIVE here sono, I KNOW what schools are like here, even what you call private ones. Im glad your kid is doing better than you did, but I KNOW thats not true either, thats just the fantasy YOU built for yourself to get through.
Now if you really think what you say is true please feel free to report me to Luxor police or Mr Gaddis the Honorary British consul in Luxor. The Labour Dept visited 2 weeks ago and the police last week, Luxor Tourist Police have all my details and copies of passport and work permit.
scan the work permit and the records of your "cash payment" wages. Then post these scanned documents to ES. Otherwise I'll take the word of your American employer.
And in regards to my daughter's school you don't even know what school and which town the school is in.
By any chance have you even walked into an Egyptian school private or public?
posted
LOL @ PLO.. You mean Qaeda I guess. Posts: 3219 | From: Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone. | Registered: Nov 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Dzosser: LOL @ PLO.. You mean Qaeda I guess.
No. I meant PLO. I was being sarcastic. She could get kidnapped by the French Foreign Leigon for all it matters.
Posts: 1626 | From: whatever, wherever | Registered: Jul 2008
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quote:Originally posted by Ayisha: sono, you dont know my circumstances either so how can you make these assumptions about my life here? I am paid in Egyptian pounds, in cash and there are records of it, I have a legal work permit, come here and I will show you. You have absolutely NO proof of anything you say, same as you never have when you build peoples fantasy lives. I LIVE here sono, I KNOW what schools are like here, even what you call private ones. Im glad your kid is doing better than you did, but I KNOW thats not true either, thats just the fantasy YOU built for yourself to get through.
Now if you really think what you say is true please feel free to report me to Luxor police or Mr Gaddis the Honorary British consul in Luxor. The Labour Dept visited 2 weeks ago and the police last week, Luxor Tourist Police have all my details and copies of passport and work permit.
scan the work permit and the records of your "cash payment" wages. Then post these scanned documents to ES. Otherwise I'll take the word of your American employer.
yeah right , just get on with reporting me, that could be fun my end and another blot for you
quote:And in regards to my daughter's school you don't even know what school and which town the school is in.
scan official school documents to prove she is in a private school and which one. She doesnt even speak English so how you would know anything about her anyway!
quote:By any chance have you even walked into an Egyptian school private or public?
duh yeah, I LIVE here remember. Posts: 15090 | From: http://www.egyptalk.com/forum/ | Registered: Jul 2004
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quote:Originally posted by Ayisha: sono, you dont know my circumstances either so how can you make these assumptions about my life here? I am paid in Egyptian pounds, in cash and there are records of it, I have a legal work permit, come here and I will show you. You have absolutely NO proof of anything you say, same as you never have when you build peoples fantasy lives. I LIVE here sono, I KNOW what schools are like here, even what you call private ones. Im glad your kid is doing better than you did, but I KNOW thats not true either, thats just the fantasy YOU built for yourself to get through.
Now if you really think what you say is true please feel free to report me to Luxor police or Mr Gaddis the Honorary British consul in Luxor. The Labour Dept visited 2 weeks ago and the police last week, Luxor Tourist Police have all my details and copies of passport and work permit.
scan the work permit and the records of your "cash payment" wages. Then post these scanned documents to ES. Otherwise I'll take the word of your American employer.
yeah right , just get on with reporting me, that could be fun my end and another blot for you
quote:And in regards to my daughter's school you don't even know what school and which town the school is in.
scan official school documents to prove she is in a private school and which one. She doesnt even speak English so how you would know anything about her anyway!
quote:By any chance have you even walked into an Egyptian school private or public?
duh yeah, I LIVE here remember.
You're forgetting that my child deserves privacy away from adult squabbles, but you probably don't have that as part of your moral code.
Her papers of grade level graduation are always in English. And half of her classes are taught in English. She knows at least 10 times the amount of words you know in Arabic she knows of English.
Val you live in Luxor, but do you live anywhere near a school? Probably not.
Most everyone on Luxor4u and half this board knows your real name and where you work so posting your work permit papers wouldn't be an invasion of privacy.
Posts: 2280 | Registered: Oct 2009
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quote:Originally posted by Ayisha: sono, you dont know my circumstances either so how can you make these assumptions about my life here? I am paid in Egyptian pounds, in cash and there are records of it, I have a legal work permit, come here and I will show you. You have absolutely NO proof of anything you say, same as you never have when you build peoples fantasy lives. I LIVE here sono, I KNOW what schools are like here, even what you call private ones. Im glad your kid is doing better than you did, but I KNOW thats not true either, thats just the fantasy YOU built for yourself to get through.
Now if you really think what you say is true please feel free to report me to Luxor police or Mr Gaddis the Honorary British consul in Luxor. The Labour Dept visited 2 weeks ago and the police last week, Luxor Tourist Police have all my details and copies of passport and work permit.
scan the work permit and the records of your "cash payment" wages. Then post these scanned documents to ES. Otherwise I'll take the word of your American employer.
yeah right , just get on with reporting me, that could be fun my end and another blot for you
quote:And in regards to my daughter's school you don't even know what school and which town the school is in.
scan official school documents to prove she is in a private school and which one. She doesnt even speak English so how you would know anything about her anyway!
quote:By any chance have you even walked into an Egyptian school private or public?
duh yeah, I LIVE here remember.
You're forgetting that my child deserves privacy away from adult squabbles, but you probably don't have that as part of your moral code.
privacy away from adult squabbles is why shes thousands of miles away from you, your ex and your family.
quote:Her papers of grade level graduation are always in English. And half of her classes are taught in English. She knows at least 10 times the amount of words you know in Arabic she knows of English.
if you say it enough it still wont be true sono.
quote:Val you live in Luxor, but do you live anywhere near a school? Probably not.
3 I can HEAR every morning.
quote:Most everyone on Luxor4u and half this board knows your real name and where you work so posting your work permit papers wouldn't be an invasion of privacy.
then get one of them to come to my work and I will SHOW them my papers.
now feck off and work towards 'relocating' to raise your daughter, worry about your **** YOU got into, not mine. Posts: 15090 | From: http://www.egyptalk.com/forum/ | Registered: Jul 2004
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quote:Originally posted by Ayisha: privacy away from adult squabbles is why shes thousands of miles away from you, your ex and your family.
quote:Her papers of grade level graduation are always in English. And half of her classes are taught in English. She knows at least 10 times the amount of words you know in Arabic she knows of English.
if you say it enough it still wont be true sono.
quote:Val you live in Luxor, but do you live anywhere near a school? Probably not.
3 I can HEAR every morning.
quote:Most everyone on Luxor4u and half this board knows your real name and where you work so posting your work permit papers wouldn't be an invasion of privacy.
then get one of them to come to my work and I will SHOW them my papers.
now feck off and work towards 'relocating' to raise your daughter, worry about your **** YOU got into, not mine.
You've never met my child you have no idea what language she speaks.
If you have any further information it would come from Kal because we all know Lanie lives in Texas. And we both remember what intentions both Kal and Lanie had towards getting into contact with my kid, you were supportive of both their psychosis.
Very telling of how badly you need to get back onto depression medication.
2. if you had work papers then the last woman who went in there to size up the place to verify if she wanted to buy it from your employer wouldn't have had hessitations buying the place. No one wants to buy a business that has you on the payroll and is breaking labor laws by having you work there illegally.
3. Since you need to swear and swear in the same sentence as refring to my child I'll take it as a positive that your love interest hasn't spent the night at your new apartment.
Who knows, he could have gotten married already and is finally starting a family to prove he isn't a fag after all. Posts: 2280 | Registered: Oct 2009
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quote:Originally posted by Ayisha: privacy away from adult squabbles is why shes thousands of miles away from you, your ex and your family.
quote:Her papers of grade level graduation are always in English. And half of her classes are taught in English. She knows at least 10 times the amount of words you know in Arabic she knows of English.
if you say it enough it still wont be true sono.
quote:Val you live in Luxor, but do you live anywhere near a school? Probably not.
3 I can HEAR every morning.
quote:Most everyone on Luxor4u and half this board knows your real name and where you work so posting your work permit papers wouldn't be an invasion of privacy.
then get one of them to come to my work and I will SHOW them my papers.
now feck off and work towards 'relocating' to raise your daughter, worry about your **** YOU got into, not mine.
You've never met my child you have no idea what language she speaks.
so you have met me and know how much Arabic I speak??
quote:If you have any further information it would come from Kal because we all know Lanie lives in Texas. And we both remember what intentions both Kal and Lanie had towards getting into contact with my kid, you were supportive of both their psychosis.
saying Smucks is in Texas wont make it so, she is in SHEBIN where your daughter is, I know you hate that some other American had the balls to move and you dont, deal with it.
quote:Very telling of how badly you need to get back onto depression medication.
did you see shrink 3, 4, 5 and 6? the first 2 could do nothing to help you could they, or the meds.
quote:2. if you had work papers then the last woman who went in there to size up the place to verify if she wanted to buy it from your employer wouldn't have had hessitations buying the place. No one wants to buy a business that has you on the payroll and is breaking labor laws by having you work there illegally.
business not for sale, call the labour office, report me, PLEASE report me, I would dance when your name gets black marked here. Anyone buying if it was for sale can easy turn out anyone they dont want here, you dont have a clue.
quote:3. Since you need to swear and swear in the same sentence as refring to my child I'll take it as a positive that your love interest hasn't spent the night at your new apartment.
ahh that sono logic, love it! If it wasnt my husband I untangled myself from in bed this morning it sure looked a hell of a lot like him
quote:Who knows, he could have gotten married already and is finally starting a family to prove he isn't a fag after all.
I take it from that you havent had a man for a while? Posts: 15090 | From: http://www.egyptalk.com/forum/ | Registered: Jul 2004
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quote:Originally posted by Dzosser: 7ayat cheating is genetic in our country..we both know that, I'm sorry but its the truth.
True. But I am asking about the Western women. I mean this girl you met told you that her guy is married with kids, so why was she going to meet him???
Posts: 4446 | From: Egyptian in Sydney | Registered: Mar 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Dzosser: 7ayat cheating is genetic in our country..we both know that, I'm sorry but its the truth.
True. But I am asking about the Western women. I mean this girl you met told you that her guy is married with kids, so why was she going to meet him???
It is a strange Phenomenon indeed. I think the problem stems from them not having a complete and full understanding of Islam in the contemporary world and just accept it at face value that "he is allowed to have four wives".
Posts: 1626 | From: whatever, wherever | Registered: Jul 2008
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quote:Originally posted by Dzosser: 7ayat cheating is genetic in our country..we both know that, I'm sorry but its the truth.
True. But I am asking about the Western women. I mean this girl you met told you that her guy is married with kids, so why was she going to meet him???
It is a strange Phenomenon indeed. I think the problem stems from them not having a complete and full understanding of Islam in the contemporary world and just accept it at face value that "he is allowed to have four wives".
you are every where TIGERLILLY Now we move from Egypt to Islam Can you tell me why do you care so much ?
you are not Egyptian you do not live in Egypt you have nothing to do with Egypt
so why your so fuzzy about it dear ? Posts: 565 | Registered: Feb 2004
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quote:Originally posted by Dzosser: 7ayat cheating is genetic in our country..we both know that, I'm sorry but its the truth.
True. But I am asking about the Western women. I mean this girl you met told you that her guy is married with kids, so why was she going to meet him???
It is a strange Phenomenon indeed. I think the problem stems from them not having a complete and full understanding of Islam in the contemporary world and just accept it at face value that "he is allowed to have four wives".
Its the concept that foreign women are considered easy and made for fun, just like smoking hash and drinking booze are known to be Haram, however they still do it..the lower class (felluca man) consider anything away from their home as ethically accepted, as long as they don't involve the family (wife and kids) into it..that's basically how orfi starts to materialise aka 'Orfi 101'. Posts: 3219 | From: Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone. | Registered: Nov 2005
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A recent Cairo conference suggests that the sexual harassment of women is becoming a pan-Arab phenomenon, reports Enjy El-Naggar
Three months ago on the first day of Eid Al-Fitr, the Egyptian police reported over 1,000 cases of sexual harassment in Cairo and Giza. However, last month on the first day of Eid Al-Adha, the number had plummeted to 160 reported cases. It seems that the sharp decline was due to "natural causes", since the first day of Eid Al-Adha saw heavy rains that kept most people at home.
Over the past few years, sexual harassment in Egypt has evolved into a seasonal activity occurring during the holidays, and this has caused NGOs and human-rights organisations to sound the alarm.
In response to increasing calls for combating the phenomenon, the Egyptian Centre for Women's Rights (ECWR), in collaboration with the United Nations Population Fund (UNFPA) and the Swedish International Development Cooperation Agency (SIDA), organised a regional conference, "Sexual Harassment as Social Violence and its Effect on Women in the Middle East and North Africa Region", which debated different forms of violence against women at the top of which was sexual harassment.
The conference, which hosted women leaders from 16 Arab counties in addition to international experts, aimed at understanding sexual violence as a form of social violence and how it impedes women's participation in the public space. Participants exchanged experiences from their respective countries on ways of addressing and combating sexual violence and consolidating efforts, improving coordination and fostering collaboration between countries in the region.
"We were thinking about the idea of the conference one year ago after the Safer Streets for All campaign, which was launched in 2007," Nehad Abul-Qomsan, director of ECWR, told Al-Ahram Weekly. "The conference is not only about tackling sexual harassment, it also aims to discuss all kinds of violence against women," she added.
Recent studies conducted by women's rights organisations have shown that the phenomenon is on the rise. In 2008, a study by the Centre for Public Mobilisation and Statistics (CAPMAS) showed that 47 per cent of Egyptian women between 15 and 49 had been victims of domestic violence, and seven per cent reported rape by their husbands.
In the Al-Nadim Centre's most recent 2009 study, 79 per cent (991 of 1,262 women) of those surveyed reported domestic violence. In addition, an alarming 55 per cent of women reported experiencing some form of domestic abuse or violence from their husbands, 20 per cent from their fathers and 12 per cent from their brothers.
"Sexual harassment is linked to other forms of discrimination and violence against women in complex ways," said Sherifa Zuhur, director of the US-based Institute of Middle Eastern, Islamic and Strategic Studies. "It is not a banal or trivial matter, and we are here because it has been an epidemic in Egypt for many years," she said during the first session of the conference.
However, such harassment turned out not to be a uniquely Egyptian preserve. Sixteen Arab participants at the two-day conference presented papers about violence against women in their countries. In Qatar, for example, a study conducted in 2006 stated that some 509 of 2,787 Qatari women had experienced violent behaviour and ill- treatment by men in the family (husbands, brothers or fathers). These facts were supported by another study on domestic violence conducted in 2007.
The situation in another Gulf country, Oman, was no better. According to a study by Omani journalist Maysa El-Hanie, a reporter at the newspaper Fetoon, 11 per cent of women face harassment in different ways in work, whether verbal, physical, or in remarks tarnishing their reputation.
At least 56 per cent of Omani women working in offices experienced verbal harassment. Meanwhile, the reputations of female workers in shops and in the military and medical sectors were more likely to be tarnished, making such women feel alienated from society. The study also showed that those who work in menial jobs are the most vulnerable to the worst forms of physical harassment.
In Saudi Arabia, where all women are veiled, the phenomenon takes a different shape. The Saudi Human Rights Association has received reports of some 1,164 cases of domestic violence, according to Al-Jawhara Mohamed Al-Wabli, chair of the King Abdel-Aziz Female Charity Association.
Al-Wabli reported different kinds of violence, mainly domestic, against women, including physical, psychological, social and sexual violence. "Talking about sexual harassment remains a taboo topic in Saudi Arabia, and therefore we don't have exact statistics about this problem as most incidents are unreported," Al-Wabli said.
Arab women's reluctance to report sexual harassment is part and parcel of the mushrooming phenomenon. In Egypt, for example, Noha Roshdi, a girl who was sexually harassed in 2008 and took her harasser to court, broke an established habit of silence in such cases. The harasser was sentenced to three years in prison and fined LE5,000 in the unprecedented case.
Yet, women in other Arab countries have yet to break the mould. "Women in Oman think a million times before they report sexual harassment to the police, whether they are married or not," said Mariam Abdallah El-Nahwai, an Omani researcher in women's and children's affairs at the Omani Association of Writers and Authors. "Their reluctance to report harassment stems from a fear of the social stigma," she said.
In Yemen, the problem is even more complicated since women are reluctant to report harassment cases and the law does not provide protection for them against intimidation. "The absence of clear-cut legislation that provides punishment for sexual harassment, combined with a lack of interest by police in reports by women about any kind of harassment, aggravates the situation," said Yemeni lawyer Ishraq Fadl Al-Moqtori.
Even in countries where there is legislation that protects women against harassment, punishment for sexual harassment is still asymmetrical. "Even though the law provides severe punishments for those who commit rape or threaten women's lives, there are still many differences in the levels of punishment," said Kaltham Al-Ghanim, a professor of sociology at the University of Qatar. "These differences indicate discrimination against women," she added.
Despite the fact that many countries in the Arab world have taken legal steps towards combating sexual harassment, gaps in legislation and enforcement mechanisms still exist that hinder the abolition of all forms of violence against women and aggravate reticence in the surrounding culture. According to the participants at the conference, in many Arab countries there is an urgent need for laws that prohibit violence or harassment against women.
In addition, women subject to sexual harassment often receive unfair trials because judges issue rulings according to their convictions rather than according to the law. "The law in almost all Arab countries lacks accurate legal texts condemning harassment crimes," said Mary Rose Zalzal, a Lebanese human-rights activist. Zalzal added that while some states have endorsed texts giving women legal protection against sexual harassment, the perpetrators of these crimes often remain unpunished because of difficulties in prosecuting such cases.
Zuhur concurs, saying that "the law does not recognise women's individual rights, but treats sexual harassment or assaults on women as a violation of their tribes' or their male relatives' rights [under customary law, or urf ], or as a violation of the public interest and Islamic order [under Sharia law], or, most recently, of a husband's rights over his wife's body," she said. When it comes to sexual harassment in the streets, this is often treated as a minor infraction of public order and not a serious offence.
Zuhur stressed that governments should encourage women to register complaints and should protect them through legislation as well as through consistently enforced punishments. Educational and media efforts should also be made, she said. "Judges, police, legislators, government authorities, parents, teachers, workers, employers, ordinary citizen observers, social leaders, men and women are not equally convinced that harassment or any other forms of violence against women are ongoing, wrong, and can have serious impacts," she added.
Some of the papers presented at the conference showed the negative impacts of sexual harassment in the work place on women and on the society as a whole. Sexual harassment in private or in the work place can result in a lack of focus, deteriorating professional performance, a decline in productivity, or even severe psychological crisis, which can lead to the use of mood-altering drugs and even resignation.
"Harassment in the work place needs to be criminalised in order to deter those who attempt to abuse women at work," said Faeza Basha, ex- director of the Libyan Centre for Human Rights.
Participants at the conference also criticised the media for not properly addressing the issue of sexual harassment and violence against women. Even in a country like Lebanon, which enjoys a high margin of media freedom, the handling and coverage of issues of violence against women was unacceptable, according to Magui Oun, a Lebanese media specialist and human- rights activist. "What the media cares about is scandals or scoops rather than treatment, follow- up or evaluation," she said.
However, Abul-Qomsan begged to differ as far as the Egyptian media was concerned. "The media was one of the vital tools that helped us fight this social cancer," she said. "A newspaper once published a feature about sexual harassment, and then I was surprised by a call from an Egyptian judge telling me that a group of judges had held a meeting to discuss how they could write a draft law to combat harassment," she added. "As a matter of fact, Egypt was the first Arab country to discuss this sensitive subject in the media," she added.
Abul-Qomsan also stressed that Egypt was the first country in the Arab world to launch media campaigns against sexual harassment. "It is thanks to the Egyptian media," she said, "which helped us a lot in raising awareness about how to fight harassment."
Asked about the outcomes of the first-of-its- kind conference, Abul-Qomsan said that it was "an attempt to establish legal guidelines to combat sexual harassment in the Arab region by carrying out studies of the punishments that should be imposed on harassers." Reports on the status of women in the Arab region would also be published, she said.
A STUDY by Abul-Qomsan and the Arab Consultant Office found that many Arab countries suffer from the problem of sexual harassment of women.
Twenty-seven per cent of Algerian female university students confirmed that they had experienced sexual harassment from their professors, while 44.6 per cent complained of verbal abuse, and 13.8 per cent said that they had been physically harassed.
In Qatar, 21.1 per cent of girls said they had been physically harassed, and 30 per cent of working women had been sexually harassed in the work place.
In Saudi Arabia, 22.7 per cent of female children had been subject to harassment. In Yemen, 90 per cent of women complained of harassment at work and in public places.
Another study conducted by the ECWR revealed that 83 per cent of women in Egypt said that they had been sexually harassed in one way or another at some point in their lives.
Abul-Qomsan's tips on how to defend yourself from sexual harassment in public places:
- Use tools in self-defence, including pins or something sharp like a pen, key or credit card.
- Spray the attacker with irritating but harmless substances, including pepper spray or perfumes.
- Push the harasser away using a bag or heavy book.
- Strike in vulnerable areas like the throat, eyes or ribs.
Why does she not mention the most vulnerable part of the male body here???
Forms of sexual harassment and how to deal with it:
Sexual harassment falls into three broad categories:
VERBAL: - Comments about appearance, body or clothes.
- Indecent remarks.
- Questions or comments about your sex life.
- Requests for sexual favours.
- Sexual demands made by someone of the opposite sex, or even your own sex.
- Promises or threats concerning employment conditions in return for sexual favours.
NON-VERBAL: - Looking or staring at a person's body.
- Display of sexually explicit material such as calendars, pin-ups or magazines.
PHYSICAL: - Physical touching, pinching, hugging, caressing, or kissing.
- Sexual assault.
- Rape.
Then following are ways of dealing with cases of suspected sexual harassment:
- Speak clearly and slowly, maintaining direct eye contact.
- Describe the behaviour, its effects on you, and saying that you want it to stop.
- Ignore any attempts to trivialise or dismiss what you have to say.
- Don't smile or apologise. This will undermine your complaint.
- When you have finished what you want to say, walk away. The less you say, the more powerful you will be.
posted
the guys in the states cant sexual harrass or they will get sued. lol it took a long time to get to that point. im from NY i know all about it. just because sex is in your face all the time doesnt make it right. the ppl are desensitized they can see a naked woman no problem and not even feel aroused. how is that good? lol seriously. and by the way things do happen to women who dress half naked. in the usa a woman gets raped every 2 mins. the guys are teased all day.
i wear the hijab and get alot more respect just from looks... not.. i want to have sex with you... instead.. i want to marry you. if a woman is a muslim and wants a GOOD muslim man she must respect herself. the men are supposed to lower their gaze also and not dress flashy to attract either. its not just for women. the men who look and harrass are wrong in the eyes of the god.
Posts: 9 | From: al-dahar, Egypt | Registered: Jan 2010
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posted
also its not just about the hijab.. if a woman is wearing a hijab yet her clothes/jeans are so tight theyre painted on..which is common in cairo, ofcourse men will harrass lol
a note about the 4 wives thing theyre NOT allowed to marry another woman without telling the other wife and it is only in special circumstances that this is truely VALID in the eyes of the god. a guy can not just go marry another woman kuz he wants more sex. any guy that says that he can is a liar and NOT a true believer in islam and allah hates liars and cheats. like all religions there are men that bend the rules to suit their own needs. allah does punish them they will never be happy in their life. lol comon 4 wives? most men cant handle 1 lol and they better be rich lol if a man cant treat all wives equal he is not allowed to have them. who can do that? NO ONE
Posts: 9 | From: al-dahar, Egypt | Registered: Jan 2010
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quote:Originally posted by layla13: the guys in the states cant sexual harrass or they will get sued. lol it took a long time to get to that point. im from NY i know all about it.
I lived in NY, and imo there is no way you can compare the harassment there to the one I have experienced in Cairo for years.
quote:Originally posted by layla13:
in the usa a woman gets raped every 2 mins. the guys are teased all day.
and by the way things do happen to women who dress half naked.
To connect clothes and rape is a very wrong and dangerous thing to say. Rape is about violence and control, NOT about being sexually teased and not being able to control oneself. Btw., old women, children, nuns get raped too.
Myth: Only "bad" women get raped. Fact: No other crime victim is looked upon with the degree of suspicion and doubt as a victim of rape. Although there are numerous reasons why society has cast blame on the victims of rape, a major reason found in studies is that of a feeling of self protection. If one believes that the victim was responsible because she put herself in an unsafe position, such as being out late at night, drinking alcohol, dressing in a certain way, or "leading on" the rapist, then we are able to feel safer because "we wouldn't do those things." But, the basic fact remains that without consent, no means no, no matter what the situation or circumstances.
Myth: Rape is just unwanted sex and isn't really a violent crime. Fact: Rape is a lot more than an unwanted sex act, it is a violent crime. Many rapists carry a weapon and threaten the victim with violence or death.
Myth: Rape only occurs outside and at night. Fact: Rape can and does occur anytime and anyplace. Many rapes occur during the day and in the victims' homes.
Myth: Sexual assault is an impulsive, spontaneous act. Fact: Most rapes are carefully planned by the rapist. A rapist will rape again and again, usually in the same area of town and in the same way.
Myth: Sexual assault usually occurs between strangers. Fact: By some estimates, over 70% of rape victims know their attackers. The rapist may be a relative, friend, co-worker, date or other acquaintance.
Myth: Rape only happens to young attractive women. Fact: Rape can and does strike anyone at anytime. Age, social class, ethnic group and has no bearing on the person a rapist chooses to attack. Research data clearly proves that a way a woman dresses and / or acts does not influence the rapists choice of victims. His decision to rape is based on how easily he perceives his target can be intimidated. Rapists are looking for available and vulnerable targets. Statistics were obtained from various sources including the study Rape in America, 1992, National Victim Center, The Federal Bureau of Investigations and the National Crime Survey.
Myth: Rape is a crime of passion. Fact: Rape is an act of VIOLENCE, not passion. it is an attempt to hurt and humiliate, using sex as the weapon.
Myth: Most rapes occur as a "spur of the moment" act in a dark alley by a stranger. Fact: Rape often occurs in one's home - be it apartment, house or dormitory. Very often the rapist is known by the victim in some way and the rape is carefully planned.
Myth: Most rapists only rape one time. FACT Most rapists rape again, and again, and again - until caught.
Myth: Only certain kinds of people get raped. It cannot happen to me. FACT: Rapists act without considering their victim's physical appearance, dress, age, race, gender, or social status. Assailants seek out victims who they perceive to be vulnerable. The Orange County Rape Crisis Center has worked with victims from infancy to ninety-two years of age and from all racial and socioeconomic backgrounds.
Myth: Only women and gay men get raped. FACT The vast majority of male rape victims, as well as their rapists, are heterosexual. Male rape victims now represent 8% of the primary victims served by the Orange County Rape Crisis Center. Rapists are motivated by the desire to have power and control over another person, not by sexual attraction. Male rape is not homosexual rape. Many male victims do not report the assault because they fear further humiliation.
Myth: Rape is an impulsive, uncontrollable act of sexual gratification. Most rape are spontaneous acts of passion where the assailant cannot control him/herself. FACT Rape is a premeditated act of violence, not a spontaneous act of passion. 71% of rapes are planned in advance. 60% of convicted rapists were married or had regular sexual partners at the time of the assault. Men can control their sexual impulses. The vast majority of rapists are motivated by power, anger, and control, not sexual gratification.
Myth: No woman or man can be raped against her or his will. Any person could prevent rape if he or she really wanted to. FACT In 1991, 14% of the rapes reported to the Orange County Rape Crisis Center involved the use of a weapon. 74% involved physical force and/or threats of force. Women are often physically weaker than men and are not taught to defend themselves or to be physically aggressive. Furthermore, some women are not willing to hurt another person, especially if the offender is someone they know.
Myth: Most rapes occur when people are out alone at night. If people stay at home, then they will be safer. FACT 44% of rapes reported to the Orange County Rape Crisis Center in 1991 occurred in the victim's home.
Myth: Rapists are strangers. If people avoid strangers, then they will not be raped. FACT In 60% of the rapes reported to the Orange County Rape Crisis Center in 1991, the rapist was known to the victim. 7% of the assailants were family members of the victim. These statistics reflect only reported rapes. Assaults by assailants the victim knows are often not reported so the statistics do not reflect the actual numbers of acquaintance rapes.
Myth: If the assailant, victim, or both are drunk, the assailant cannot be charged with rape. FACT Forcing sex on someone who is too drunk to give consent is second degree rape in North Carolina. [It carries a prison sentence of up to 17 years.] Rape is a crime. People who commit crimes while under the influence of alcohol or drugs are not considered free from guilt.
Myth: Rapists are abnormal perverts; only sick or insane men are rapists. FACT In a study of 1300 convicted offenders, few were diagnosed as mentally or emotionally ill. Most were well-adjusted but had a greater tendency to express their anger through violence and rage.
Myth: Rape is a minor crime affecting only a few women. FACT It is estimated that 1 in 8 women will be raped in her lifetime. Because of low reporting rates, it is not known how many adult men are assaulted. It is also estimated that 1 out of every 4 girls, and 1 out of every 8 boys are sexually assaulted in some way before they reach adulthood. Rape is the most frequently committed violent crime in this country.
Myth: Most rapes occur on the street, by strangers, or by a few crazy men. FACT Over 50% of reported rapes occur in the home. 80% of sexual assaults reported by college age women and adult women were perpetrated by close friends or family members. There is no common profile of a rapist. Rapes are committed by people from all economic levels, all races, all occupations. A rapist can be your doctor, your boss, your clergyman, your superintendent, your partner, your lover, your friend or your date.
Myth: Only young, pretty women are assaulted. FACT Survivors range in age from infancy to old age, and their appearance is seldom a consideration. Assailants often choose victims who seem most vulnerable to attack: old persons, children, physically or emotionally disabled persons, substance abusers and street persons. Men are also attacked.
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Egypt: Women’s stories from the street Bikya Masr Staff 28 December 2009 in Sexual Harassment, Women CAIRO: Bikya Masr has compiled some horrifying experiences from women in Egypt and what they face on a daily basis on the streets. We ask that if you have your own stories, please send them to us in order to publicize this growing problem in Egyptian society.
I was walking home in Haram and a car pulled up next to me and started shouting horrible things at me. They tried to get me to come into the car, but I walked fast. Then, they drove the car to stop me from going forward, I fell and tripped on the sidewalk, cut up my leg. I ran away as fast as I could. I couldn’t tell my parents what happened because they would say it was my fault and I wouldn’t be allowed to go out. -Unnamed Egyptian college student
I know my parents would not be happy to hear that a respectable-looking middle aged man in a nice car pulled up beside me on the street yesterday and repeatedly asked me if I’d liked to F***. I was wearing a full-length skirt, long sleeves, and a wedding ring, and this was in Maadi. In my 25 years in America and in all the many countries I’ve visited (including Middle Eastern ones) I have never been addressed so disrespectfully by a stranger. Three weeks in Cairo, and an Egyptian man wins the rudest-ever award. -Emily, foreign woman
I live in New York and I feel safer walking alone at 3:00am, inebriated, than I do walking around here during the day, sober, and dressed in conservative clothing and with a head scarf. The problem here is there is no predictability. I don’t know if that guy making rude comments or leering at me is going to be more aggressive or not, and that’s not just limited to Egypt. It’s just that in Egypt, the number of men who do this increase exponentially and therefore the predictability decreases. -Soma
I was walking to the metro and when I got there, someone grabbed my body, it was horrible. It happens all the time. I get grabbed on the street almost everyday and when I try to do something about it, they run and people tell me it’s my fault. When I get touched on my body it is disgusting and it makes me sick of my country. -Asma
I dress conservatively in Cairo and I have been groped and grabbed and leered at and it is quite ridiculous. I am 59 years old and in spite of being told I am beautiful and that they want to marry me I can never forget that in my own country I’m invisible to men. I think the policies of Egypt don’t work for the young men of Egypt and as a result they don’t work for the women. Too many foriegn women in Egypt have told me they are tired of leaving their homes. There is a problem. I was constantly trying to be polite in the foreign country, don’t be polite, scream as loud as you can and slap them. If you take this quietly they don’t understand that you are offended. Leave no doubt in their minds. -Nicky
I have a French neighbour and friend upstairs. She was sooooooo sick of being harassed that she decided to cover her hair (of course the rest of her clothing was covering her body too)… So imagine at what point this girl couldnt bear it anymore. AND 3 DAYS AFTER STARTING USING IT … some guy grabs her boob on the street and she thinks it could have been worst if it werent for the fact she started screaming and some guys came to her help! -Regina
Just recently someone said “I wanna f***” as I was passing by with a girlfriend and just expected me to stay quiet. I was in a safe neighborhood, actually and tried to hit him with a cane I happened to be carrying, and when he took off running I yelled after him until he was out of site. I made sure EVERYONE knew that coward did something wrong as he was running. I yelled things to make him feel ashamed and remind him that he isn’t a good person. -Dalia
I was once picking up a friend at the airport coming from Australia. While waiting, I saw a young lady, scared to death, literally coerced and pushed by a cab driver into his taxi. This happened and she was surrounded by airport police officers, not one but many. Same thing happened to me at the bus station this time, coming back from Dahab at 7:00 am. I was sworn at, insulted and almost hit because I refused to “get in” the taxi. Another time I was at a local hotel, and learned of a disgusting assault, that you would not believe. A security guard sexually assaulted a lady guest within the hotel! A friend of mine, so frustrated by her inability to strike back, learned how to say “what are you looking at, you pig?” in Arabic in order to talk offenders back. Stories abound and they are all sad and disgusting. -Hannah
-------------------- “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.” Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
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Some women are such drama queens, guys driving by shouting random words isn't harassment. Well IMO it isn't. If it is I get harassed more in the UK than here!
Seriously, there ought to be an harassment-o-meter.
I shout random abuse back sometimes does that mean I harass them???
I get the leers and the stares but I am not bothered by this, I stand out like every other western women here and I understand folk are just curious.
Posts: 11097 | From: Cairo | Registered: May 2008
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Some women are such drama queens, guys driving by shouting random words isn't harassment. Well IMO it isn't. If it is I get harassed more in the UK than here!
Seriously, there ought to be an harassment-o-meter.
I shout random abuse back sometimes does that mean I harass them???
I get the leers and the stares but I am not bothered by this, I stand out like every other western women here and I understand folk are just curious.
Posts: 11097 | From: Cairo | Registered: May 2008
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Sometimes they shout 'hello' and 'welcome' or call us 'beautiful' ...is this harassment as well?
If I was being personally insulted for who I am and not just asked for sex because I am pale skinned with green eyes I would be offended.
I am not singled out, harassed, pestered as Nicola. I am shouted at from cars who see me as English.
No big deal. If people were being groped, touched, raped, man handled etc then yes, I would see the big deal.
My friends and I get stared at... sure we do, we are not the norm but we don't let it grind us down. In fact we laugh about it ...
Posts: 11097 | From: Cairo | Registered: May 2008
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quote:Originally posted by Cheekyferret: No big deal. If people were being groped, touched, raped, man handled etc then yes, I would see the big deal.
What you are saying here is that there is no such thing as verbal harassment. That only physical assault counts as harassment and those who feel otherwise should just grow a thicker skin and stop being so over sensitive.
Sorry, but I disagree. Verbal harassment IS harassment in my book, and there are countless women who feel the same way. If a stranger on the street tells me he wants to f*ck me, or makes reference to my body in a sexual way, he is crossing a line and violating my personal space in a very obnoxious and disrespectful manner. If that's not harassment, I don't know what it is.
OT ... I didn't realize we have a word filter here. I wrote out f**k and it came out in asterisks. Posts: 2803 | Registered: Feb 2007
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Maybe I have lived here too long and am already thick skinned then. After 17 years of hearing the same old lines I find them of no threat and I never feel violated by some shouting at me through a car window.
But I am a tough cookie and very few things pee me off..
Do cars papping you in the UK insult you or wolf whistles?
It is disrespectful but I won't lose any sleep over it. Far worse things happen at sea!
Posts: 11097 | From: Cairo | Registered: May 2008
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Verbal has happened to me now on 4 different continents... I guess I am familiar with the male mating sounds now. I don't care for words, they are mostly for the shock factor... I am not at all shocked!
Men can be pigs in general and harassment is not only happening in Egypt.... Harassment is worse in the UK if you think verbal harassment counts.
Wow, they grab yer ass in the UK all the time in clubs! I mentioned this before... it is mostly the Polish doing the grabbing.
Looks like my living abroad and travelling for 20 years has made me immune to words. Every cloud.
Posts: 11097 | From: Cairo | Registered: May 2008
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quote:Originally posted by Cheekyferret: Verbal has happened to me now on 4 different continents... I guess I am familiar with the male mating sounds now. I don't care for words, they are mostly for the shock factor... I am not at all shocked!
Men can be pigs in general and harassment is not only happening in Egypt.... Harassment is worse in the UK if you think verbal harassment counts.
Wow, they grab yer ass in the UK all the time in clubs! I mentioned this before... it is mostly the Polish doing the grabbing.
Looks like my living abroad and travelling for 20 years has made me immune to words. Every cloud.
Verbal is common daily fare in Latin and Caribbean countries,but never the touching or groping kind.The later one is not common at all,and the offender could be jailed.
Posts: 3833 | From: here,there,everywhere | Registered: Nov 2007
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quote:Originally posted by Cheekyferret: Men can be pigs in general and harassment is not only happening in Egypt.... Harassment is worse in the UK if you think verbal harassment counts.
I noticed there is a huge difference between the UK and Germany in that regard. What I heard from women living there (and also what I read on here) seems quite shocking to me. And I know that German women moving to the UK are usually appalled at the harassment which, to them, is unusual.
quote:Originally posted by Cheekyferret: Looks like my living abroad and travelling for 20 years has made me immune to words.
Looks like my living abroad and travelling for 20 years has done nothing to change the fact that I am an over sensitive sissy who feels offended by mere words.
Posts: 2803 | Registered: Feb 2007
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quote:Originally posted by ukthoughtful: lol nothing new has been going on then? :-)
So ladies, what exactly is friendly banter/sweet talk and what crosses the line. Lets leave aside touching groping as that is obviously unacceptable.
How much talk is ok (bearing in mind many women actually want to be told they look nice)?
Being told I am 'beautiful' and 'welcome on Egypt' doesn't bother me, I think I am only bothered if someone (male or female) is just being persistent. When folk cannot read the signals or body language and they just keep pushing. My Makwa boy is probably the most annoying tosser for this...
I was stalked by a man in a car yesterday for the duration of my walk through Korba, he was driving next to me or driving ahead and parking up so he could say whatever he was mumbling. Words do not bother me but the length he went to to get my attention and say whatever it was he was saying was more concerning. He soon got bored when he realised I was not a Western whore about to hop on his back seat and give him one there and then Posts: 11097 | From: Cairo | Registered: May 2008
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"I want fook you" or "you want fook my Egyptian banana" is crossing the line.
-------------------- If you don't learn from your mistakes, there's no sense making them. Posts: 15090 | From: http://www.egyptalk.com/forum/ | Registered: Jul 2004
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quote:Originally posted by ukthoughtful: lol nothing new has been going on then? :-)
So ladies, what exactly is friendly banter/sweet talk and what crosses the line. Lets leave aside touching groping as that is obviously unacceptable.
How much talk is ok (bearing in mind many women actually want to be told they look nice)?
Being told I am 'beautiful' and 'welcome on Egypt' doesn't bother me, I think I am only bothered if someone (male or female) is just being persistent. When folk cannot read the signals or body language and they just keep pushing. My Makwa boy is probably the most annoying tosser for this...
I was stalked by a man in a car yesterday for the duration of my walk through Korba, he was driving next to me or driving ahead and parking up so he could say whatever he was mumbling. Words do not bother me but the length he went to to get my attention and say whatever it was he was saying was more concerning. He soon got bored when he realised I was not a Western whore about to hop on his back seat and give him one there and then
I have had that happen to me in Korba, followed by a man in car, wavin money at me, and he was persistant.. I had my son with me and we could not beleive that he did continue to harrass... He got a shock when i went over and took the money out of his hand and walked off, Shokran! What could he do, make a scene, say i stole it....lol.. serves the bastard right, anyway was only 200 EGP, jesus I'm worth lot more that that...cheap skate!
Posts: 129 | From: In the land of plenty | Registered: Mar 2008
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posted
Yesterday I heard the story about a woman, who left her country (Somalia) more then 20 years ago, and recently returned, finding a complete new country and attitudes. The clothes women were wearing have been changed from the light and bright garments into dark and stiff clothes who hided the complete person. The most important change however, was the common attitude. She wore western clothes, (with a veil) nevertheless just because she was visable western, people talked about her as if she was a whore. The aversion on their faces was shocking.
She visited a hospital, where a 13 year old girl just gave birth to a baby, which was produced by her 45 yr old uncle, out of a rape. The women from her family concluded that it would be better to declare the young girl mentally insane, so she couldn't be held accountable for the baby.... yet the Western woman was the whore...
So, women walk the streets in Egypt, and I think almost everybody at least once has expierenced unwished attention from males. That following by cars, is common, even I have expierenced it, and I am not a attractive young girl. It's just the fact that I am Western...and therefore cheap, or a whore.
The saddest thing is that they all get away with it. The streets are covered with people, with police, with men and women, and nobody takes action. They don't want to involve, or perhaps they are afraid to involve, and therefore these men are able to continue their backwards behaviour...
Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
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quote:Originally posted by ukthoughtful: lol nothing new has been going on then? :-)
So ladies, what exactly is friendly banter/sweet talk and what crosses the line. Lets leave aside touching groping as that is obviously unacceptable.
How much talk is ok (bearing in mind many women actually want to be told they look nice)?
Being told I am 'beautiful' and 'welcome on Egypt' doesn't bother me, I think I am only bothered if someone (male or female) is just being persistent. When folk cannot read the signals or body language and they just keep pushing. My Makwa boy is probably the most annoying tosser for this...
I was stalked by a man in a car yesterday for the duration of my walk through Korba, he was driving next to me or driving ahead and parking up so he could say whatever he was mumbling. Words do not bother me but the length he went to to get my attention and say whatever it was he was saying was more concerning. He soon got bored when he realised I was not a Western whore about to hop on his back seat and give him one there and then
I have had that happen to me in Korba, followed by a man in car, wavin money at me, and he was persistant.. I had my son with me and we could not beleive that he did continue to harrass... He got a shock when i went over and took the money out of his hand and walked off, Shokran! What could he do, make a scene, say i stole it....lol.. serves the bastard right, anyway was only 200 EGP, jesus I'm worth lot more that that...cheap skate!
This is the funniest idea i´ve read for out-smarting the harassers out there.Mrs.Hassan, Only imagining the look he must have put in his face cracks me up!!!!
Posts: 3833 | From: here,there,everywhere | Registered: Nov 2007
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Yesterday I heard the story about a woman, who left her country (Somalia) more then 20 years ago, and recently returned, finding a complete new country and attitudes. The clothes women were wearing have been changed from the light and bright garments into dark and stiff clothes who hided the complete person. The most important change however, was the common attitude. She wore western clothes, (with a veil) nevertheless just because she was visable western, people talked about her as if she was a whore. The aversion on their faces was shocking.
Sounds more like Egypt nowadays I needed to go to Shubra (Coptic zone) last week to fix a problem (Toshiba people) and had a shock when I found so much women and young ladies wearing skirts, tight jeans and no veils/niqab.. it was like going back in time to the days when we were free (till late seventies).
They were in majority, lots of Coptic names on shops and pharmacies, coptic schools and churches had huge mosques built close to them, horns were hollering azan to remind them who's the boss.. 5 times a day. Posts: 3219 | From: Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone. | Registered: Nov 2005
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Should people feel like an attempt to show them superiority? And; should it be meant as superiority? I know that the call of prayers sometimes is taken as a provocation here, too. Perhaps it is, but you also can take it as it is: a call for people to go to pray, just like the churchbells... A question: In history the churchbells were also used to inform people in alarmsituations, a city-attack or big floods, that kind of stuff. Did they use mosques for this too?
-------------------- “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.” Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
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quote:Originally posted by Cheekyferret: I think I am only bothered if someone (male or female) is just being persistent. When folk cannot read the signals or body language and they just keep pushing.
Which applies to roughly 99% of the people who harass women.
quote:Originally posted by Questionmarks: That following by cars, is common, even I have expierenced it, and I am not a attractive young girl. It's just the fact that I am Western...and therefore cheap, or a whore.
I agree that as a Westerner you get more harassment because of this sort of preconception, but the following in cars happens to Egyptian women all the time as well.
I almost alway get mistaken for an Egyptian from behind (which makes for interesting reactions when I turn around, btw. ), and I get the following around by cars a lot.
LOL @ Mrs. Hassan -- I would have loved to see the guy's face. Posts: 2803 | Registered: Feb 2007
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posted
I always used to get offered money as a tall, blonde, buxom 14 year old living in Hamm in Germany in the 70s. Walking round the Kuerpark, the Turkish and Greek gaestarbeiters were always waving money about
That's probably where I learnt the 'eye slide by' - don't walk with your head bowed - that gives out 'victim' signals, walk with your head up - you have every right to be on the path the same as them - if you do catch someone's eye inadvertently, just slide your eyes right past them. Don't lock eyes which could be seen either as a 'come on' or aggressively challenging.
A guy waved some at me once about 5 years ago on one of my first visits to Cairo and I made an extreme gesture involving elbows and snarly face and he was last seen running....
Oh and for anyone visiting Clapham in London, if a guy asks you the way to Wickses Lane - he's NOT expecting you to whip out your A-Z!!!
Also PS - While 'wilcom in Egypt' might be hassle I seriously do not class this as sexual harassment it's 'tourist hassle' a very different thing. The two things seem to be constantly muddled together on this forum which detracts from serious discussion on sexual harassment.
PPS - and as for the 'beautifuls'. Firstly I get far fewer of those compared to when I first came 5 years ago. Secondly, most of the ones I do get are from old women! If I take my hair out of its perennial ponytail and comb it out in the ladies' loo, I often get women gazing at me going something like 'helwa, gamela, habiby'. One time I was walking up a backstreet in Mohandseen and an old lady sweeping outside did the same thing - habiby helwa gamela' and a bunch of old ladies on a microbus once when I was trying to find out if it went to Maadi or not (still dont know how to say Maadi so Egyptians understand!)
PPS yes Mrs Hassan, you are surely worth more than 200LE (unless you go selling yourself in Taweed El Noor bargain basement )
Posts: 5593 | From: Egypt | Registered: Dec 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Shanta Qadeama: Also PS - While 'wilcom in Egypt' might be hassle I seriously do not class this as sexual harassment it's 'tourist hassle' a very different thing.
posted
I am so stealing the money off the next guy who waves cash at me lol...
If in Birmingham someone asks you if you wanna go round the back off Rackhams - decline
I get pervy comments off the Americans and the British in Egypt... and the only time I have been groped here was by a Russian. Every country I have lived in I have comments as well so I am really not that bothered when a man or woman tell me I am beautiful... if they tell me they wanna fook me I tell em I don't blame them
Women stroke me lol.... that's weird but I am not pissed off over it.
Mrs H... I was flashed out outside the Metro in Korba last year... I was with my Mum lol... I humiliated the pervert
But again, I have been flashed at in England. I must be a total fox to some guys pmsl... or I must look like a whore hmmmm lol.
Posts: 11097 | From: Cairo | Registered: May 2008
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The arrest of a British woman allegedly raped in Dubai mirrors harsh Middle Eastern attitudes to women and sexual assault
Dubai sees and markets itself as a tolerant cosmopolitan city where east meets west: where occidental comforts and luxury sit cosily and apparently easily with the Arab-Islamic culture. As many visitors to the UAE notice (and have mentioned to me), alcohol is readily available in hotels and restaurants. Unmarried couples often openly share hotel rooms, and visitors to the UAE say they are rarely, if ever, troubled by the authorities over either issue.
But, recent events in Dubai suggest that this meeting place may not be quite as comfortable or cosy as one may think. On New Year's Eve, a young British woman of Pakistani descent was allegedly raped by a hotel worker at an upmarket hotel in Dubai Marina. She had been celebrating her engagement with her 44-year-old British boyfriend during a three-day romantic getaway to the city. But, based on news reports, their pleasant weekend apparently turned into a nightmare. She reported to the police that a hotel employee followed her into a restroom and raped her.
A woman should be able to report a rape to the police anywhere in the world and to expect them to investigate the charge. In some parts of the world that will actually happen, even though police officials are not always as sensitive or responsive as they should be. But for those of us who live in the Middle East, it is really not that clear what we should do if we're sexually assaulted, abused, or raped. That is because in so many instances, officials either don't take us seriously, or – as this case frighteningly illustrates – we may even be charged with a crime ourselves.
It became clear in this case that the Dubai authorities were not really interested in whether the young woman had been harmed. The authorities at the Jebel Ali police station in Dubai seemed to be much more intrigued about this young woman's alcohol consumption and her sex life, news reports indicate. Instead of seriously investigating the rape, which carries a harsh sentence under local law, the police charged the woman and her fiancé with drinking alcohol and having illegal sex.
They spent a night in jail and were then released on bail. Their passports have been confiscated as they await trial, and if convicted, they may face up to six years in prison. Police officials contend that the woman "fabricated" her story though they have provided no information to back up their conclusion, and despite the fact that the criminal investigation is apparently not yet complete. The hotel employee, who admitted he had sex with the woman but denies it was rape, has been charged with illegal sex, rather than rape.
This woman's experience is unfortunately not limited to tourists in Dubai. It is an example of how authorities, especially in this region, ignore violence against women every day and turn investigations of crimes against women into "moral" judgment calls. The real problem is the much broader and more basic one of how societies in the Middle East view women and attempt to control them, placing restrictions on how they should dress, speak, and act in public. Women are seen as custodians of family "honour" and are coerced into marriage. Even the most open societies in the region continue to fail women by not fully respecting their human rights.
Women in the Middle East face discriminatory legal provisions in personal status laws, which govern almost every aspect of their lives, including marriage, divorce, custody and guardianship, and inheritance. Discriminatory provisions in penal codes either exempt or hand down mitigated sentences to male family members who murder their female relatives. Women are also reluctant to report domestic abuse, rape, or other forms of gender-based violence to authorities because of the difficulties they face in seeking redress.
A few weeks ago, a young woman was allegedly raped in a restroom. The fact that she was treated like a criminal when she went to the police and that women in the Middle East are scared to report such crimes is the real moral outrage.
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Many women in Yemen don’t know about regulations against harassment
So much has been said about harassment against women in Yemen. Discussions by governmental institutions, civil society initiatives and all nationwide mass media have analyzed the matter either superficially or in depth. The most distinguished approaches are the ones that hit the deep core of the problem and brought certain solutions or mechanisms to fight the problem.
Harassment against women study conducted by Athar Foundation
A recent study showed 99% of women in Sana’a undergoes sexual harassment from males in the streets. The study covered the range of sexual offensive behaviors in the streets only which are found threatening or disturbing by most of the study respondents. The respondents said that they faced intended disturbing or upsetting persistent and unwanted sexual advances behaviors from men in streets where typically disadvantageous consequences are potential to the victims.
Athar Foundation for Development conducted a baseline study on street harassment against women in Sana’a during April and August of last year. The Middle East Program Initiative (MEPI) funded the study. 540 women from 5 districts in Sana’a governorate participated in the study. The respondent women consisted of schools and universities female students, public and private sectors employees and housewives who were at the end of the study introduced to knowing about existence of regulations on harassment felonies and existing toll free number for harassment cases complaints which is 199.
Last month, the foundation organized a discussion panel to present the study’s results and gather related recommendations to establish real mechanisms that will aim at combating the problem. A project on implementing measures to reduce the problem is the foundation current effort. The project is due to take place during February and March and again it will be funded by the Middle East Program Initiative (MEPI).
The session’s participants consisted of governmental bodies, educational delegates, civil society representatives, lawyers and media representatives. One of the main participants were L. Colonel Mr. Abdulaghani al-Wajih, the commander of patrol police in Sana’a and the secretary general of police club, Mr. Hussein al-Faqih, the director of operation administration at the Ministry of Interior. Other religious personas were invited but unfortunately they were absent.
At the session's beginning, the study’s results were put on show then the participants presented their analysis on the issue. At the end, each participant presented key proposal that will be under a coming project done by the Athar foundation in implementing actual measurements to fight the problem.
Besides that 99% of women in Sana’a undergoes sexual harassment from males in the streets, the study also had other detailed results. The survey sample was distributed in Maeen, al-Wahda, al-Thawra, Sho’ob and al-Tahreer districts. The targeted women’s age ranged from 20 till 50 years old. Most of the complaints came from the age 20-24, universities students making them have 51.9% complaints of the final sum and the least complaints came from women aged 50 and older. The harassment types’ nature varied from verbal sexual offensive remarks, physical touching to sensitive or insensitive parts of women’s bodies, stalking, to methods beyond all what were mentioned, leaving a tremendous psychological impact on the women let alone the social impact that in certain cases would lead many girls to drop their education, whether because of explicit reasons or direct reasons.
The study central objective was to provide actual and concrete statistics on sexual harassment against women in Sana’a’s streets from the female respondents’ perspective. In addition, the ultimate objective was to coordinate with local authorities to develop a complaints and reporting system in order to preserve privacy and dignity of victimized women and their families.
88.5% of the women assessed the issue to have a huge magnitude that is expanding with the passage of time. The women’s perspective on the motif behind the issue is the enormity of the free time young males have.
In most cases, a collective unspoken agreement exists among Yemeni girls regarding the reaction towards such harassment. The stigma is too shameful to be delivered. 84% of the women ignore harassers to avoid embarrassment. Moreover, only 48% of the women inform male relatives about the issue.
The Study Key outcome
Harassment against women in one way or in another is an international phenomenon. It occurs in any country and is not only happening in Yemen. But what distinguishes its occurrence in Yemen is how it is an unspoken matter demonstrated by the study’s respondents who had no idea about the availability of regulations: women can turn to the government to take their rights from harassers. In light of that, ignorance about existence of laws to deal with the issue is the most significant result of the study. 63.3% of the respondents don’t know about regulations and laws’ existence dealing with sexual harassment.
Anticipated Project
On the road to enlighten and empower women with their rights, the hoped-for effect is expected after the coming project on combating street harassment against women in Yemen done by Athat Foundation for Development and funded by (MEPI). The project’s initial intention is to raise awareness on women’s exercising their rights, using the regulation in favor of victimized women. The specific reason behind this project is to assist elimination of the issue occurrence.
According to a study, 98 percent of the foreign women and 83 percent of the Egyptian women have at some point been subject to sexual harassment in Egypt. Often the blame is placed squarely on the shoulders of the victims. Mohammed Ali Atassi reports
Sexual harassment of women in Egypt is one of many social problems that politicians and the media have tended to treat as an instance of individual, abnormal behaviour. Because they treat it as an isolated aberration from proper social norms – falling outside the path, principles and traditions of a sanctioned way of life – Egyptian society as a whole does not need to confront it.
It took the courage of a few Egyptian women who exposed their own suffering to reveal the treatment many women routinely experience on the streets of Cairo. Simultaneously, a few civil society organizations, aided by alternative media outlets (blogs foremost among them), launched awareness campaigns aimed at transforming both the understanding and method of dealing with the issue, so that Egyptians would cease to view future incidents as isolated acts of perversion, and instead see them as components of a pressing social problem.
Educational and judicial measures
As such, perceptions of sexual harassment have changed to now frame it as an important issue – one that demands political, educational and judicial measures, though many of these have yet to be implemented.
The problem of sexual harassment in Egypt comes to sharp focus in the case of the young film director Nouha Rushdi Saleh, who won a legal case against a truck driver who harassed her in a Cairo street. The court handed down a three-year jail sentence to the perpetrator – and the case blew the cover off the issue in Egypt, where official silence has reigned for years.
Most tourist guidebooks on Egypt, particularly those published abroad, warn foreign women regarding sexual harassment in the street and offer advice on how they should act and react. This could easily suggest that this phenomenon is on the rise. The aggression is hardly confined to foreign women; its victims include Egyptian women from all social and religious classes, veiled and unveiled.
Still, most public authorities and influential social forces ignored the issue until the outbreak of the 2006 riots. During the downtown celebrations of the holiday of Eid al-Fitr, a crowd of hundreds of sexually frenzied young men participated in violent attacks on dozens of women, surrounding them in the streets, groping and even trying to undress them. As police stood by and watched the scene ambivalently, no one, not mothers nor veiled women, were safe from the mob.
Implicit assumptions
Supported by the state media, mainly newspapers, some political figures tried to minimize the impact of the incident by accusing the opposition of exploiting the social and political dimensions of the riot for their own benefit. But if the state authority was ready for a cover-up, the Egyptian blogosphere was ready for a fight. Bloggers published testimonies and played video clips of the scenes in Talat Harb square and the surrounding streets where women were assaulted.
And while Egyptian authorities took action and installed security cameras in the center of the city – the site of the 2006 riot – to alleviate the phenomenon, the effort did nothing to prevent similar attacks from being perpetrated in other parts of the city. Incidents spread and in fact intensified in other areas, including Al Haram Street and Al Mohandesseen district, where many girls were assaulted on Eid al-Fitr. This time, however, police successfully arrested many of the attackers.
Unfortunately, many dominant beliefs still place the blame squarely on the shoulders of the victims of sexual harassment. Society makes an implicit assumption that women dress provocatively, or otherwise behave suspiciously to excite men into violently attacking them – or blame women simply because they are unveiled or don't conform to conservative Islamic dress codes.
Awareness campaigns
If there was one positive result of the 2006 attacks – which claimed many veiled victims – it opened the door for public debate about the phenomenon of sexual harassment in Egypt. Civil society organizations and women's groups touched on the fresh social wound, launching a legion of awareness campaigns while the issue was still on citizens' minds.
These campaigns sought to educate women about their own rights and warn both men and women about the severity of these practices and the pressing need to face the problem as a society. Presenting it as a social issue that affects everyone, the campaigns linked the phenomenon of sexual harassment to youth unemployment and marginalization, as well as to the fact that a growing number of young people are marrying at an older age. They also cited the upsurge in sexual repression amidst an increasingly male chauvinist culture, in addition to the breakdown of the family and moral codes, as factors.
The magazine Kalimatina ("Our Word") published the campaign "Respect Yourself," and the Egyptian Center for Women's Rights presented "Safe Streets for Everyone". In cooperation with various media outlets, both print and visual, websites and blogs, these campaigns worked to enlighten Egyptian youth on the danger of such practices and demand the development of laws that deter them. Campaigns also prepared police stations and trained officers for handling sexual harassment incidents.
In the wake of this multi-faceted campaign, a sociological study named "Clouds in the Sky of Egypt: Sexual Harassment – From Verbal Advances to Rape" examined the situation. The study took a sample of 2,500 Egyptian women and 2,020 other individuals (equally divided between men and women), as well as a survey of 109 foreign women. The results were shocking: 98 percent of the foreign women and 83 percent of the Egyptian women had been subject to sexual harassment – and nearly two-thirds of the men confessed to committing sexual harassment against women.
Counter-campaigns
On the other hand, conservative political and religious groups attempted to exploit the worsened incidents of sexual harassment to serve their own special interests. In a manner clearly demeaning to women, these factions attacked women's dignity by pegging the blame for the assaults on the victims. The counter-campaigns even went so far as to collude with those who committed the crimes in an obvious attempt to justify their deeds. Rather than defending the victims or protecting women's rights, these campaigns took the opposite approach.
Two striking examples of this came in the form of posters that the groups hung in some streets and published on many Islamic blogs and websites. The first contains two juxtaposed images. The picture on the right has a green hue and features a woman wearing a veil plastered with mosque-minaret pictures. At the bottom of the picture is a piece of candy carefully wrapped in green, and under it the statement that God will forgive the sins of veiled women. The image on the left, tinted in bright red, depicts an unveiled woman and a man. The bottom shows a red candy in torn paper, with a religious injunction beneath that warns women of moral failure.
The second poster continues the theme of objectifying women, likening her to a piece of candy ready to be eaten, by portraying her as a lollipop that cannot be protected from flies (which means men in the language of these campaigns), save with the wrapper, which translates to the veil. Under the images of two lollipops, one wrapped and the second naked with flies hovering over it, a religious statement professes that an unveiled woman will not be able to protect herself – for God, the creator, knows what is in her best interest, and thus ordered the veil.
These messages reveal a disturbing mentality and ideology that view women as objects of pleasure and entertainment, who must cater to men's physical needs and fantasies for religion's sake. While enjoining women to cover themselves in public to prevent being sexually harassed by strangers, this belief system seems to limit women's choice when it comes to their own sexuality. These messages imply that the spread of sexual harassment is linked to the absence of the veil, and thus the unveiled woman holds the responsibility for the sexual harassment she encounters.
Interference of justice
The public discussion over sexual harassment could have been confined to the media, the campaigns and the counter campaigns were it not for the courage of the young Egyptian director, Noha Rushdi Saleh. A driver sexually assaulted her while she returned from the airport, even though she was accompanied by a friend.
The assault took place in one of the streets close to her home in the Al Karba district when the driver began swerving his car towards her, extending his hand from the window and violently pulling her towards him. He touched her breasts until she fell on the ground, then he quickly drove away, looking back mockingly at her through his window.
According to Saleh, this glance back was an important factor in her decision to turn to the court and demand her rights. Yelling and feeling great anger that cannot be expressed in words, she followed the driver and was able, thanks to the heavy traffic, to grab the front of his car, all the while shouting and calling for help. Saleh gave an account of her shock at other pedestrians' reaction:
"I couldn't believe that some were willing to help and assist the driver to run away in the car, while others told me, 'We will let him apologize to you.' I asked them why I would want an apology. Had he stepped over my feet? With my refusal, they asked, 'What do you need?' I told them I would report him to the police station. Another bystander said, 'I don't understand why you stand here in the midst of men.' There were people on their balconies looking down and watching me as if I were in a film. One woman was saying to me, 'Enough my daughter, forgive him,' but I refused and maintained my position."
Noha's legal background empowered her to insist on her rights, and she succeeded in making a police report and taking the defendant to the criminal court. With the support of her father, she was determined to have the court session be public as a means of shaking the Egyptian populace and judicial system into confronting sexual harassment. Northern Cairo's criminal court, presided over by Judge Shawqi al-Shalqani, issued a judgment on October 21, 2008, which sentenced the defendant Sharif Jouma Jebril to three years in jail and a payment of 5,001 Egyptian pounds as a penalty.
A nail in the coffin of sexual harassment
Noha faced the news cameras and said that the judgment had restored her self-esteem. The judicial system had done her justice, paving the way for all Egypt's daughters to pursue the legal road to claim their rights and render the first nail into the coffin of sexual harassment.
However, the judgment did not prevent Noha Rushdi Saleh from being the subject of a vicious campaign that impugned her credibility. Her critics accused her of distorting Egypt's reputation and of carrying Israeli citizenship, as her grandfather was among the Palestinian refugees who came to Egypt.
But her courage has left a significant mark on Egyptian society, because she insisted on seeing her judicial proceeding to the end, as well as ultimately extracting a judgment in her favour from the Egyptian court. She will be remembered for helping to spearhead the long and difficult battle towards creating a civil society that holds the dignity and rights of women as inseparable from its overall goals and aspirations.
posted
Interview: Police turned me away after sexual assault
May 10th, 2010 | By Eman Hashim
CAIRO: Reem is a 21-year-old Egyptian woman who recently graduated from university and is looking forward to the future. A degree in hand, she is readying herself for success. But like the vast majority of women in Egypt, she was the victim of a sexual assault that took place in Egypt’s many public spaces: on the bus.
She told Bikya Masr the story of the incident, and more shockingly, what the police did – rather did not do – in response.
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