Open discussion of sexual problems have for long been kept private, yet some believe that Egyptian society is finding a way to open up and find solutions --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Targeting Egyptians, Arab satellite TV has been promoting aphrodisiacs like never before. In one recent advertisement, a middle-aged man comes home to find his young wife complaining that she tried his mobile phone "all night long" but found him "out of service"; sighing he replies that this is "normal", but after she grudgingly turns away, the drug appears, promising inexhaustible "credit". And advertisements are but one way in which sexual issues -- a subject previously kept firmly out of the public sphere -- have forced themselves on collective consciousness. This must have to do with the fact that people can no longer marry as young or as easily as they once could; harassment of women on the streets is but one sign of sexual frustration turning into a serious social problem. But to a far greater extent than the accessibility of sex -- the legitimate availability of private space, for example -- it is conditions like erectile dysfunction -- an affliction, according to a National Research Centre report published three weeks ago, of some eight per cent of Egypt's male population -- that state- run and private television have concentrated on, with whole segments of their programmes, even a weekly show, dedicated to problems between married couples in the bedroom.
Yet as sexologist Nagla Ezzeddin -- founder of one of Egypt's earliest clinics -- points out, much of the media discourse is cosmetic: "it is not true that because men are fatigued by daily life they have sexual problems, or that the weight on their shoulders is heavier." Poverty and stress have little to do with it, in fact, as evidenced by other Third World countries where, though the economy is comparable, no such problems exist. "It's rather a question of approach, our understanding of sex in the first place." A problem that tends to start in the first year of marriage will usually persist until that part of the relationship has died. Sociologist Said Mustafa, who has researched the issue extensively in Egypt and the Arab world, agrees that it is hardly a question of stress; perceptions of sex play a far greater role in the problem. "We curse it in public and worship it in private," Mustafa says: in the public sphere the topic is seen as unclean -- bring it up, he says, and you'll be met with either silence or condemnation -- while, among men, it is reduced to vulgar and sexist bragging, often degrading to women. As for women among themselves, discussing sex is a kind of heresy: "Women are taught from a very young age that this is not something they can discuss, and if they were to do so they would be seen as loose and lacking in morality. One could argue that this is even more disturbing and dangerous than the discourse of men." The sad result of this is that most women internalise their discontent, with terrible consequences for the whole family. Nor does the lack of sex education -- even at the biological level at school -- help anyone: the vacuum of conversation and debate can no longer continue, Mustafa insists; nor will the state whereby "we say one thing in public and believe the complete opposite in private". In private, indeed, he goes on, few issues are impacting the Egyptian psyche as much as sexual frustration: the combination of religious-cultural constraints with globalisation and access to satellite television, together with bleak economic prospects, has placed the average Egyptian under unbearable sexual pressure.
Considering that marriage -- an extremely expensive procedure -- remains the only legitimate means to having sex, the figures might as well speak for themselves: seven million unemployed, nine million unmarried over 30, and 40 per cent of marriages between cousins (something that is particularly true of the provinces). No wonder sexual frustration is rife: a marriage based on family interests -- to appease the elders or keep wealth within the family -- as opposed to genuine affection and understanding, is unlikely to sustain a healthy sex life. For men, masturbating to porn or indeed Arab video clips -- it costs no more than LE20 a month to have private access to satellite television or, as Mustafa puts it, "marry the TV" -- is a convenient alternative to both the hassles and expenses of matrimony, which are absurdly exhausting by any standards, and the moral agony of engaging in premarital sex: "add to this the fact that the religious establishment in Egypt has often professed that masturbation is the lesser evil compared to sex out of wedlock." Masturbation may be perfectly harmless in its own right, but the fact that, abetted by pornography, it has come to replace sex in Egypt Mustafa finds alarming; and with the ever rising marriage age in this society, people grow up and grow older knowing only one sex partner -- themselves. Mustafa pointed out that, while masturbation is about satisfaction, sex is about a lot more: understanding, affection, excitement, pleasure. Masturbation kills intimacy, he says; in the absence of intimacy even married couples become sexually frustrated and the men prefer masturbation to the disappointment of sex.
Nor is it only bad karma for the family as a whole, Mustafa adds; pornography has serious consequences for the male psyche: "women in these movies are portrayed in the most grotesque way, the dynamic they embody perverts the relationship between men and women; and in the absence of any other information, men believe that what they see on screen is what sex is or should be like." Many women have complained to Mustafa of their husbands acting out porn scenarios in bed, thereby alienating them in various ways; of even greater concern is the fact that pornography is developing in such a way as to incorporate drama, spreading stereotypical perceptions and unrealistic expectations. The long-term effects of this have yet to be seen, while widely publicised cases like that of Ahmed El-Fishawi and Hind El-Hennawi -- pregnant by El-Fishawi, El-Hennawi managed to prove that he was indeed the father of her child and successfully established their marriage against the evidence -- gave men the idea that women use sex to trap them. Porn remains the safest, most cost-effective release. A similar tension preceded the sexual revolution in the West, Mustafa goes on to explain, but this change of attitude only became possible as a result of the availability of private space and contraception. As long as the conservative outlook remains predominant, he says, the crisis will persist. Still, Mustafa is by no means advocating premarital sex or the exclusion of religious teachings, rather he is emphasising the fact that something has to be done to ease the tension, and pornography is clearly not the answer. Liberalisation of sexual attitudes along with secularisation of society, he predicts, will take place in Egypt in much the same way as it did in Turkey and Central Asia, however slow in the coming. Already, he says, there is a sharp increase in premarital sex -- a trend likely to continue. Mustafa links the secularisation of sex with political and economic liberalisation: if these two processes continue, then so will the rise in premarital sex, a theory backed up by the figures for China, for example, where liberalisation in the early 1980s was accompanied by a rise in the rate of premarital sex from 20 to 75 per cent.Whether or not such trends in other conservative societies will be followed here in Egypt is still uncertain. However, few would disagree that the social contract regarding sex has been broken and must be replaced. Egyptians still maintain their norms and traditions regarding sex, it is clear that perceptions of sex as well as sexual education must alter.
posted
The IRONY is: There would not be a population of 78 million in Egypt if there was no SEXUAL relations.
Regarding this: 'Many women have complained to Mustafa of their husbands acting out porn scenarios in bed, thereby alienating them in various ways; of even greater concern is the fact that pornography is developing in such a way as to incorporate drama, spreading stereotypical perceptions and unrealistic expectations.'
In my opinion, if we go back in history and check the documentaries about the Red Districts of the world, and all the hooplah everytime there was a sexually related craze, after a war or after a revolution, same attitudes. In Egypt, the novelty and freedom of the INTERNET, the chat rooms and xxx sites, as well as the SATELLITE, took traditional Egyptians by surprise, and drove many a bit crazy, and wanting to experiment probably in some 'ignorant' ways.
In the 'old' days when porn magazines first came out, the West was also taken by surprise - I read - and who knows what was happening in bedrooms? Never saw an old American movie where the Girl would 'fly' from a chandelier?? It will eventually calm down, and the thrill of the novelty will eventually fade! The new generations of wives will be more aware since everything is in the open, by a click of a TV remote, or a mouse for a thrilling website.
Posts: 919 | Registered: Aug 2007
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posted
Almaz you must admit that newspaper Al-Ahram is recently tackling more and more issues which were ten years ago still totally inappropriate to talk about, right - at least not that openly?
Now I found the above article were informative and valid at the same time.
I was also suprised to find very recently an article about the poor conditions in Giza zoo. Who would have given any thought about animal cruelty years ago?
Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
True. Especially with a new novelty in Egypt : The Sexologists are coming out of the 'closets' to our Living room, in talk show format! Which is an eye opener for the population.
The Giza Zoo condition is a calamity! It has been a 'dirty little secret' for a while, unfortunately.
There is so much work to do in Egypt to clean up 'corruption' and 'garbage' at the same time, a lifetime would not be enough.
Wishing for a total reform!
Posts: 919 | Registered: Aug 2007
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posted
I know what you mean. But it's a first step into the right direction that people start openly to address and talk about various issues which need to be improved - I just hope it doesn't stay kalam bass..... Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
There are several philosofical approaches maintaining that reality should go before religion . If the reality (reason) shows that religious points of view are directly in antagonisms with each other, then there is something wrong with the religion. Thus they strived for complete separation of church and state and disputed the existence of a God.
The existance of a God is unprovable, but the reality reveals that the presently religious conceptions are working against the world as it is today. They work obstructing, frustrating and cause disorder, both on personal and on the social area.
The only measure is adapting the restrictions. , The world changes, and for this a religion must be adapted to the time spirit..
There can be regulations as much as you want, but if the brain is telling you that they cannot be valid anymore because they don`t fit into the current world, the brain is right...
-------------------- “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.” Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
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posted
The sexual problems in Egypt aren't based in religion, if you are suggesting that one of the main problems is that religion forbids premarital sex and therefore it is religion that needs to change, that is a very short-sighted view, because even if you did take the religious perspective out of the picture, the situation wouldn't improve. The religion encourages people to get married if they want to have sexual relationships, it encourages people to make it easy for people to get married, and for men and women to work out ways to please and satisfy each other.
The main problems are due to economic, social, and cultural reasons that make women demand high financial investment prior to marriage, that make couples expect to move into fully furnished and equipped houses before they have have marital relations, that make young couples feel that they have to live somewhere that gives them status and the same comforts that their parents have before they will consider getting married, that make them wait until after they have finished their education and established themselves in a career before marrying and then value themseleves on their perceived status accordingly, that stops people looking at others for who they are rather at what they are, that stop couples talking about sex within a relationship, that turn sex into a duty rather than a pleasure, that has women physically damaged so they can't feel pleasure, that make men have to work two jobs to support their family, that allows pornography to be made readily available, and that promotes the standard of a sexual women as being that of the starlets.
None of these problems will go away if you take religion out of the picture and make premarital sex permissible. All that will do will just add to the problems by increasing the number of illegitimate children and STDs, and all the other emotional disadvantages that come along with free extramarital sex without responsibility.
Posts: 4576 | From: Cairo | Registered: Jun 2002
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quote:Originally posted by newcomer: The sexual problems in Egypt aren't based in religion, if you are suggesting that one of the main problems is that religion forbids premarital sex and therefore it is religion that needs to change, that is a very short-sighted view, because even if you did take the religious perspective out of the picture, the situation wouldn't improve. The religion encourages people to get married if they want to have sexual relationships, it encourages people to make it easy for people to get married, and for men and women to work out ways to please and satisfy each other.
The main problems are due to economic, social, and cultural reasons that make women demand high financial investment prior to marriage, that make couples expect to move into fully furnished and equipped houses before they have have marital relations, that make young couples feel that they have to live somewhere that gives them status and the same comforts that their parents have before they will consider getting married, that make them wait until after they have finished their education and established themselves in a career before marrying and then value themseleves on their perceived status accordingly, that stops people looking at others for who they are rather at what they are, that stop couples talking about sex within a relationship, that turn sex into a duty rather than a pleasure, that has women physically damaged so they can't feel pleasure, that make men have to work two jobs to support their family, that allows pornography to be made readily available, and that promotes the standard of a sexual women as being that of the starlets.
None of these problems will go away if you take religion out of the picture and make premarital sex permissible. All that will do will just add to the problems by increasing the number of illegitimate children and STDs, and all the other emotional disadvantages that come along with free extramarital sex without responsibility.
I think you demonstrate time and time again your knowledge. You have the ability to rationalize and view situations from a practical point of view, unlike some members here who merely profess textbook knowledge and apply such to all cultures and religions.
Open sex with the widespread poverty in Egypt would only worsen the dilemma that many women face. I think it would lead to increases in: STD(as you noted), Prostitution and Abuse. The most important asset enjoyed by Egyptian society (family unity) would also decay and suffer immensely.
Advocating sexual education is not a problem, people fail to realize that Egypt is an illiterate nation. Political, Education and Economic reforms is what she needs because without those occurring concurrently then women will only be exploited.
Posts: 2079 | From: 'by any means necessary' - Malcom X | Registered: Mar 2007
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to our Living room, in talk show format! Which is an eye opener for the population.![[Frown]](frown.gif)
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