posted
*** One day I went to a Mall and interested to a red clothes shown in the shop. The clothes was very cute and made from high good quality materials. I said it's number 1 quality and I bought it directly.
Then, I went home and tried on the clothes. I watched myself in front of mirror... but then "speechless"... I saw that there was not me standing there. Who was standing in front of the mirror? who was wearing the very good clothes?.
I felt uncomfortable to wear that expensive clothes. I felt I was somebody else and not me. I took off the clothes and changed with very simple clothes. The result was I felt good in wearing it. And I got myself back in front of mirror.
* * *
Since several years and since I joined and read so many posts discussed about love relationships in this forum, I assume (analogize) that soulmate is as a clothes.
It is not because of the prices, qualities or materials. But the important thing is I feel comfortable with it, I feel good with it and I will be myself while I am wearing it.
Soulmate is secret from Allah. Allah knows who is our soulmate and where they are. And I believe that Allah has chosen one who is comfortable with me too.
"Ya Allah... if he is my real soulmate, please ease our ways. If he is not, please keep him away from me and give me strength and sincere to understand any of your decisions. You do know who is the best for me."
In this Ramadan, I feel doubt about him. As I tried to love him as the way he is but I still cannot forget his previous love relationships with 2 western women who had visited him here in Egypt and I wondered what they already did.
As I commit with my principles mentioned in Al Quran that good one is for good one, bad one is for bad one. I am going to leave this city back to my country to re-think before I take final decision to be with him forever.
Allahumma inni as'aluka ridhaaka wal jannah wa 'audzubika min sakhaathika wannaar.
posted
Angel Heart I wish the very best for you and that your decision will not be a really difficult one. Good Luck!!
-------------------- Often Times the Greatest statements are made in silence...listen with your Heart. Posts: 334 | From: kentucky | Registered: Jun 2006
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quote:Originally posted by Angel Heart: As I tried to love him as the way he is but I still cannot forget his previous love relationships with 2 western women who had visited him here in Egypt and I wondered what they already did.
Who cares what they did! It's important what's happening now.
Girl, I don't know you. But DON'T lose the love of your life for something stupid as 2 western women in "relationship" with him before you even got involved with him.
These relationships did not work for a reason. He made a mistake, you will make mistake too.
Forget and forgive, tell him not to do it EVER AGAIN, give him a lecture so he knows you will not tolerate this, after this pont, never mention it to him again and move on with your life with him.
He will not forgive himself and that's big enough punishment for him.
Your love and forgiveness will make him only to love and appreciate you more, besides all, this took place way before he knew you and way before 2 of you were involved.
Posts: 1039 | Registered: Jun 2007
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posted
I am astonished to read this but Angel Heart you gotta do what you think you gotta do. Good luck.
But just a quick question. Do you have yourself sex with your boyfriend? If you have to answer with a true 'yes' than what's the difference between that and he had two sexual relationships with women before?
If you do not - sorry for asking this question.
I do have other doubts about your boyfriend from what you earlier posted here about him.
Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
I don't think it it insensitive as I didn't ask her to confess here to all of us on this forum if she or if she's not. Did I?
If she's that much of a religious person then she would know what to do or not to do before they aren't married.
So if both of them truly have something going on I don't see a difference why he should be the 'bad boy' in that matter.
But as I said in my previous post he might not be the soulmate that she's actually looking for due to other posts of her describing her boyfriend.
Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
The question was asked to give her something to think about - she does not need to answer it.
Posts: 836 | From: UK | Registered: Jun 2006
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posted
Angel Heart - best of luck with what you have ahead of you. I hope it all works out for the best. Posts: 836 | From: UK | Registered: Jun 2006
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posted
This question ( about if she was "having sex" with her now fiance ) should never be asked on public message board. Especially to a young woman like herself.
And you people talk about how other people are curious and ask private questions.
What's more private than this.
This is simply insensitive, putting a young woman on the spot and turning the story into some sexual relationship with her fiance when she is clearly talking about marrying him for life, it is simply unfair and plain insensitive.
Posts: 1039 | Registered: Jun 2007
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posted
Loosen up, LML. How about some Barry Manilow? Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
It is not insensitive, by thinking about a problem from someone elses viewpoint, it can become much clearer. Often a viewpoint that hadn't been thought about before.
This is all that TL was trying to do.
Nobody knows who Angel Heart is, so it does not put her on the spot, as said before, there is no need for her to answer it. I really don't think TL was after an answer.
Posts: 836 | From: UK | Registered: Jun 2006
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posted
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Originally posted by Mimmi: Angel Heart Can it be that you are pregnent?? --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Not yet to be touched by him. But I will say, 'Ameen'.
Posts: 523 | From: Finland | Registered: Feb 2004
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I feel bad for you, you seem to be so sincere . If you can not feel happy and comfortable with your boyfriend that is sad. You have never really complained. I wish you all the best and take care
Posts: 523 | From: Finland | Registered: Feb 2004
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quote:Originally posted by Angel Heart: In this Ramadan, I feel doubt about him. As I tried to love him as the way he is but I still cannot forget his previous love relationships with 2 western women who had visited him here in Egypt and I wondered what they already did. As I commit with my principles mentioned in Al Quran that good one is for good one, bad one is for bad one
Hi, Angel Heart
Thank you for your heart-felt post. I will feel free to invoke religion since your post has a clear religious overtone.
Indeed "good women are for good men" (attayyebatu-le-ttayyebeen) and vice versa. More pointedly, the 3rd verse in Surat Alnour (chapter 24 in the Quran), prohibits believers from marrying fornicators. When I was growing up in Egypt, I always wondered why people don't give enough weight to such an explicit ruling. Although fornication was relatively rare, the conventional wisdom was that many guys had done it. Nonetheless, girls from religious families would still marry them 'without asking questions'.
When I pushed some of the elders (some quite religious) on this question, I invariably got the answer that fornicators refers to those who are 'famous' for fornication rather than those who 'slipped' here and there. Their evidence was the context in which the above-mentioned verse was revealed, which was when the Prophet (PBUH) was asked by a man if he could marry a woman who was a known prostitute. The implication was that it was habitual fornication that carried the marriage prohibition.
The argument has merit. One can even see that it is a protection for the believer because a habitual fornicator may continue his/her ways after marriage. I was a bit skeptical, though, since this was too convenient for people who don't want to open Pandora's box in something as vital as marriage, so I looked into the matter some more and found a problem with this argument that I was never able to resolve.
The verse just before (2nd verse in Surat Alnour) sets the legal punishment for fornicators. It refers to them in the exact same terms used in the 3rd verse (Zani and Zaniya for a male and female fornicator, respectively). It stands to logic that whatever the definition of the term is, it will be the same definition in both verses. Now the problem is that, universally, the punishment set in the 2nd verse is believed to be applicable for anyone who fornicated even once. So I cannot reconcile why one verse later the term has suddenly changed meaning to become someone who fornicated habitually.
Although what I said here is neither conclusive nor coming from a religious authority, I hope it helps you in your decision-making process. I can see from your post that you are thoughtful and serious about religion, and I hope you reach the right decision. My best wishes.
Posts: 374 | From: men gheir laff w dawaran | Registered: Sep 2007
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posted
Angel heart, your decision is very wise. And you are absolutely right, if we are uncomfortable with anything, or anyone, we should not complicate our lives!
Once far away, you will have more 'space' to look back and decide if that man is 'worthy' of you!
wel tayebeen lel tayebaat, indeed! Best wishes!
Posts: 919 | Registered: Aug 2007
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quote:Originally posted by Angel Heart: *** One day I went to a Mall and interested to a red clothes shown in the shop. The clothes was very cute and made from high good quality materials. I said it's number 1 quality and I bought it directly.
Then, I went home and tried on the clothes. I watched myself in front of mirror... but then "speechless"... I saw that there was not me standing there. Who was standing in front of the mirror? who was wearing the very good clothes?.
I felt uncomfortable to wear that expensive clothes. I felt I was somebody else and not me. I took off the clothes and changed with very simple clothes. The result was I felt good in wearing it. And I got myself back in front of mirror.
* * *
Since several years and since I joined and read so many posts discussed about love relationships in this forum, I assume (analogize) that soulmate is as a clothes.
It is not because of the prices, qualities or materials. But the important thing is I feel comfortable with it, I feel good with it and I will be myself while I am wearing it.
Soulmate is secret from Allah. Allah knows who is our soulmate and where they are. And I believe that Allah has chosen one who is comfortable with me too.
"Ya Allah... if he is my real soulmate, please ease our ways. If he is not, please keep him away from me and give me strength and sincere to understand any of your decisions. You do know who is the best for me."
In this Ramadan, I feel doubt about him. As I tried to love him as the way he is but I still cannot forget his previous love relationships with 2 western women who had visited him here in Egypt and I wondered what they already did.
As I commit with my principles mentioned in Al Quran that good one is for good one, bad one is for bad one. I am going to leave this city back to my country to re-think before I take final decision to be with him forever.
Allahumma inni as'aluka ridhaaka wal jannah wa 'audzubika min sakhaathika wannaar.
Wallahualam bi sawab. Ramadan Karim.
"a nation that starved us of salvation but clothing is the closest approximation to God"...
posted
My tear runs down from my eyes without I realize it while reading your input... you are all really my good friends.
Tigerlily, as you read from Mimmi's post, that is my answer to you that I never do that with him.
I just want everything is "fair and right on the place" for him and for me. I will learn and think a lot with what PI has explained in Islam perspective, shokran geddan, it's really help me.
Soozi, you can see my blog to know me, there is nothing to hide here.
Posts: 756 | From: ...be solution... | Registered: Jul 2007
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posted
Hey, AngelHeart, sorry if my question came kinda rude over to you but I didn't know the full circumstances, neither I was aware you are blogging too.
Listen, you don't sound good right now, your last entry 'I am a stranger' shows that. I assume you don't only have problems with your relationship and I guess your time has come to leave Egypt. Take many beautiful memories back home with you and value them as Egypt has become a part of your life.
All the best for the future and take good care of yourself. Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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quote:Originally posted by Tigerlily: Hey, AngelHeart, sorry if my question came kinda rude over to you but I didn't know the full circumstances, neither I was aware you are blogging too.
Listen, you don't sound good right now, your last entry 'I am a stranger' shows that. I assume you don't only have problems with your relationship and I guess your time has come to leave Egypt. Take many beautiful memories back home with you and value them as Egypt has become a part of your life.
All the best for the future and take good care of yourself.
Not a big problem cause I got used to interact with Western people since I was a little girl till now.
That current entry in my blog was my answer to his question whether I will be strong in his environment or not.
Leave Cairo soon at the weekend. Posts: 756 | From: ...be solution... | Registered: Jul 2007
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posted
Alright! Maybe you let us know that you arrived safely back home.
You are somehow homesick too, right? Believe me I went through quite a few dramatic ups and downs myself while living in Cairo.
Again all the best for your personal and professional future. Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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quote:Originally posted by Angel Heart: I will learn and think a lot with what PI has explained in Islam perspective, shokran geddan, it's really help me.
You are most welcome.
Posts: 374 | From: men gheir laff w dawaran | Registered: Sep 2007
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quote:Originally posted by Angel Heart: *** In this Ramadan, I feel doubt about him. As I tried to love him as the way he is but I still cannot forget his previous love relationships with 2 western women who had visited him here in Egypt and I wondered what they already did.
As I commit with my principles mentioned in Al Quran that good one is for good one, bad one is for bad one. I am going to leave this city back to my country to re-think before I take final decision to be with him forever.
I'm confused, why would the fact that he was in a previous relationship with a Western woman automatically make him a "bad one"? Posts: 1808 | From: USA | Registered: Aug 2006
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