posted
Have just ended relationship with egyptian man, and have finally got through to him that is over between us. After receiving numerous sms that he still loves me and still needs me, these suddenly stopped to be replaced by a message saying that he now understands that he has lost (me) but he also wins as he meets woman like me, and now he wants me to "accept him as brother" and for me to be his sister and my brother will always look after me !!!! is this the normal thing to happen when relationship ends with egyptian man as it has really confused me by this reply, plus he still sms me only once a day now to see how his sweet sister is doing.!!! is this the normal ending were u become brother and sister ??
Posts: 312 | From: my world | Registered: Sep 2007
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posted
I think he is telling you that he feels free again to go on to meting someone new.And that he still cares about you as a sister or female friend.If you feel you dont want this dont reply to his texts and he will disappear. simple.
Posts: 212 | From: uk | Registered: Apr 2007
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quote:Originally posted by mylife: What does he mean?
LOL...
He means: "My stalking and harassment with daily sms did not work, so now I will appeal to your kindness, innocence and ignorance of my snaky ways by pretending I want to be your brother*. Once you let your guard down and accept me as your brother I will pounce and hopefully ensnare you in my trap for good this time. (Because to be honest I can't believe how you managed to resist me in the first place).
*This is usually used for Muslim girls and refers to a brother in Islam.
CHANGE UR NUMBER OR START IGNORING HIM Posts: 815 | From: London and the other | Registered: Jul 2005
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quote:Originally posted by mylife: What does he mean?
LOL...
He means: "My stalking and harassment with daily sms did not work, so now I will appeal to your kindness, innocence and ignorance of my snaky ways by pretending I want to be your brother*. Once you let your guard down and accept me as your brother I will pounce and hopefully ensnare you in my trap for good this time. (Because to be honest I can't believe how you managed to resist me in the first place).
*This is usually used for Muslim girls and refers to a brother in Islam.
CHANGE UR NUMBER OR START IGNORING HIM
I believe the above is the truth! As much as I would love to say, he is just being kind for good times sake, we have examples in all our movies of the laz2a/sticky guy!! lol lol
Posts: 919 | Registered: Aug 2007
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posted
That was a clear answer, NSIC, nothing to add!!!
-------------------- “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.” Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
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quote:Originally posted by mylife: What does he mean?
LOL...
He means: "My stalking and harassment with daily sms did not work, so now I will appeal to your kindness, innocence and ignorance of my snaky ways by pretending I want to be your brother*. Once you let your guard down and accept me as your brother I will pounce and hopefully ensnare you in my trap for good this time. (Because to be honest I can't believe how you managed to resist me in the first place).
*This is usually used for Muslim girls and refers to a brother in Islam.
CHANGE UR NUMBER OR START IGNORING HIM
This is pretty PERFECT of a reply...I would go with this one. Ignore him and let him find someone else.
Posts: 13440 | Registered: Feb 2006
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posted
Hahaha, this was much more the same reaction to me too with my girl (one year ago). so what i can say is depending upon why you are breaking up?? if you now that clearly,you will now what to do.....,i wish you can understand.
-------------------- Kata Posts: 211 | From: Egypt | Registered: May 2007
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posted
yes its ok to have him as a friend after u split it shows he still cares and is a good person unless his intentions are bad in that case after u split he wants to flont another woman infront of u to make u think hes won there are so many things u must consider was he good to u when u was togeather?was he yr friend?if u split on bad terms just leave it at that and only chat as he was a stranger then u can protect yrself from another fall!
-------------------- your ass is so tight when you fart only a dog can hear it.when you queef only a cat can hear that one. Posts: 9776 | From: You like If only mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood. | Registered: Jul 2007
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posted
maybe he dnt want to lose u.. so, after the break-up he want you to treat him as ur brother and vice versa..
or maybe, he doesn't love u at all...let say at first he want to be with you because you are nice, sweet, caring blah..blah..blah.. but in the end he realized that he's not in-love with u.. its just happened that he was just happy with your companion.. ;P
-------------------- "Don't go for looks; they can deceive. Don't go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes u SMILE, because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Find the one that make ur HEART SMILE! :-). . ." Posts: 76 | From: "The Dessert" | Registered: Sep 2007
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quote:Originally posted by mylife: What does he mean?
LOL...
He means: "My stalking and harassment with daily sms did not work, so now I will appeal to your kindness, innocence and ignorance of my snaky ways by pretending I want to be your brother*. Once you let your guard down and accept me as your brother I will pounce and hopefully ensnare you in my trap for good this time. (Because to be honest I can't believe how you managed to resist me in the first place).
*This is usually used for Muslim girls and refers to a brother in Islam.
CHANGE UR NUMBER OR START IGNORING HIM
owwwww, this was funny
ok, this is 99% possibly the truth, but there is no need to ignore him IMO, just say thank you and leave it at that, if he continues to text you too much just dont text back straight away or maybe tell him that you would rather cut all ties. Poor guy, he obviously liked you. When you like someone and it ends its natural to hang on a bit if you didnt want it to end, give him a break guys, i feel sorry for him now, he might have been just being sweet Posts: 644 | Registered: Jul 2007
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quote:Originally posted by mylife: What does he mean?
LOL...
He means: "My stalking and harassment with daily sms did not work, so now I will appeal to your kindness, innocence and ignorance of my snaky ways by pretending I want to be your brother*. Once you let your guard down and accept me as your brother I will pounce and hopefully ensnare you in my trap for good this time. (Because to be honest I can't believe how you managed to resist me in the first place).
*This is usually used for Muslim girls and refers to a brother in Islam.
CHANGE UR NUMBER OR START IGNORING HIM
owwwww, this was funny
ok, this is 99% possibly the truth, but there is no need to ignore him IMO, just say thank you and leave it at that, if he continues to text you too much just dont text back straight away or maybe tell him that you would rather cut all ties. Poor guy, he obviously liked you. When you like someone and it ends its natural to hang on a bit if you didnt want it to end, give him a break guys, i feel sorry for him now, he might have been just being sweet
My friends brother told me: As long as these men even think there will be a very tiny change that there is something to get; as money, visa, marriage etc., they will not give up. So, you have to be very clear. They will play the good friend, the brother, the son, whatever might be suitable in this kind of situations. They wont back of when the door stays open, even when its only a bit open. Just close it, and don`t open when he is ringing... He probably will know...
Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
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posted
Can i just say thank you to all your replies. sleeplessincairo you made sense with your words though i did smile while reading them. He has not asked me for money,visa, or anything else.we have not even slept together, i met him in SHARM yes i know. He did not go missing for days on end, he would always reply but would go mad if i was late sms back.i was the one that tried to end it and finally he must of realised i meant it that is why he sent the sms, i do keep it very casual with him with the txts and for the moment he is to, so i will take all your kind advice and change my number to see reaction, as he can still email me but they are easier to ignore. may i say keep up the good work with this forum as you all post very interesting,funny and helpful things. thanks again xx
Posts: 312 | From: my world | Registered: Sep 2007
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posted
Real Love - may i ask why you said it your exgirlfriend when you broke up thanks
Posts: 312 | From: my world | Registered: Sep 2007
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posted
If you don't care about him why would you change your number 'to see his reaction'?
When woman doesn't care about a man, she doesn't care what he thinks, what he will do, why he is doing it, and what his reaction is?
She just moves on with her life and focuses on herself, not on him.
You seem to like a man until he shows you his affection, then suddenly you don't like him, but you like him again, after he pulls back away from you, and announces it's over for him offically.
If a man likes a woman, he doesn't want to be "just friend", or "your brother", he wants friendship and love, not just friendship alone.
Thus I believe him, he is not truly interested in pursuing a real romance with you.
Posts: 1039 | Registered: Jun 2007
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posted
[QUOTE]Originally posted by lovingmylife: [QB] If you don't care about him why would you change your number 'to see his reaction'?
If a man likes a woman, he doesn't want to be "just friend", or "your brother", he wants friendship and love, not just friendship alone.
No,i dont agree with that if he really still want any connection under any name,so he still in love with you and he cant disappear.so you should finish that with yes or no to make it easy on you and him.
Posts: 211 | From: Egypt | Registered: May 2007
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posted
Loving my life - when i say i change my number to see reaction from him, i mean to see if he is true to his words that he wants me to be his sister. and guess what, FEEL LOVE (sorry for getting your name wrong before) was right it was a big lie as before i changed my number i told him that i think it best we not be brother and sister as is did not feel right to have ex boyfriend as a brother. I received email from him saying he was sorry but he lied over wanting me to be his sister he just said it to keep me in his life as he would still have excuse to contact me. u see the reason i ended it in the first place was that there were to many stupid lies not because i play games with his affections.
Posts: 312 | From: my world | Registered: Sep 2007
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Almost man when found in a broken relationship he always ask to be as a good friends (and i is just to keep relation , and the girl may discover something so she change her mind and return to him ), and in this case sure he lie .
But if he will be honest and try to respect your desicion and he will consider you as a good friend or a sister , he will tell you , call me if you needed any thing ,or , i will be there if you needed me any time ...etc and you will find small calls from time to time till it will be from period to period
Just this ..............
Thank you for your kind attention
Posts: 248 | Registered: Aug 2006
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posted
Look you have opened this topic and you wonder about his intentions, you are curious about him because you are interested in him.
I think he decided to end it politelly. I just can't imagine a man who is in love stating anything else but that. Or he play games, but that would mean he is immature and relationship would not be healthy with him anyway.
Posts: 1039 | Registered: Jun 2007
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posted
Hi,i wanna share that: the relationship when it started is like the stick, if it at any moment break up from any part for a main reason it means the end.even if we gather it again it will not be the same.(it looks fixed but its broken inside and never work up again).come on let me now if this is right or what?
-------------------- Kata Posts: 211 | From: Egypt | Registered: May 2007
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posted
Yes i did open this topic and yes i was curious about him and yes i WAS interested in him until the little stupid lies started, and i thank u all for your advice and time for answering my post.that was my point for his reaction as i did not think a man could want to be someones brother after declaring undying love, i was still learning about islam culture and i did not know what to think when i received this text so it is why i posted it.so yes Loving my life i do agree with you that he was immature by saying that and the relationship would not be healthy for me never mind him with his stupid lies. also for Horney Telebubbies around us wicked i could not agree more with your advice.Feel Love right again the stick was broken with lies and even when he said sorry the stick looked fine but inside as you say it was broken as there was no trust there holding the stick together due to lies he told me. thank you all once again xxx
Posts: 312 | From: my world | Registered: Sep 2007
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posted
Here is a question that was posed on a Islamic website that answers question on ALL topics for Al Islaam. The website is http://www.islamqa.com It is available in many languages.
This quesitons is regarding boyfriend/girlfriend relationship and their positions in Al Islaam. The Scholar Muhammad Al Munajjid provides Islamic proofs or Ad Daleel from Quran and Ahadith. It is has a lot of Islamic terminology but Inshaa Allah it has been explain. So all of you ladies out there who have "Muslim boyfriend" do yourself a favor and let your "Boyfriend" read this and then see what he tells you! Oh and by they way if he goes against what is proven have him present his authentic Islamic proof.
Question: I am deeply in love with a Muslim man and want to marry him. I know that Allah forbids girlfriend-boyfriend relationships, and feel very sorry in my heart for our relationship. I feel that because we have been in this relationship which is abhorred by Allah, he will never marry me because he has lost respect for me. What does the Quaran say about this?
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“… Wed them with the permission of their own folk and give them their mahr (dowry) according to what is reasonable; they should be chaste, not adulterous, nor taking boyfriends…” [al-Nisaa’ 4:25]
In his commentary on this aayah, Ibn Katheer (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
“Muhsanaat [translated as “chaste”] means that they should be pure, not indulging in zinaa (unlawful sexual conduct), hence they are described as not being musaafihaat, which means promiscuous women who do not refuse anyone who wants to commit immoral acts with them. Regarding the phrase wa laa muttakhidhaati akhdaan (‘nor taking boyfriends’), Ibn ‘Abbaas said: ‘al-musaafihaat means those who are known to commit zinaa, meaning those who will not refuse anyone who wants to commit immoral acts with them.’ Ibn ‘Abbaas also said: ‘muttakhidhaati akhdaan means lovers.’ A similar interpretation was narrated from Abu Hurayrah, Mujaahid, al-Sha’bi, al-Dahhaak, ‘Ataa’ al-Khurasaani, Yahyaa ibn Abi Katheer, Muqaatil ibn Hayyaan and al-Saddi. They said: (it means) lovers. Al-Hasan al-Basri said: ‘It means a (male) friend.’ Al-Dahhaak also said: ‘wa laa muttakhidhaati akhdaan also means a woman who has just one boyfriend or lover with whom she is happy. Allaah has also forbidden this, meaning marrying her so long as she is in that situation…’”
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Made lawful to you this day are al-tayyibaat [all kinds of halaal (lawful) foods…]. The food of the People of the Scripture (Jews and Christians) is lawful to you and yours is lawful to them. (Lawful to you in marriage) are chaste women from the believers and chaste women from those who were given the Scripture (Jews and Christians) before your time, when you have given their due mahr (bridal money given by the husband to the wife at the time of marriage), desiring chastity (i.e., taking them in legal wedlock), not committing illegal sexual intercourse, nor taking them as girlfriends. And whosoever disbelieves in the Oneness of Allaah and in all the other Articles of Faith, the fruitless is his work, and in the Hereafter he will be among the losers.” [al-Maa’idah 5:5]
Ibn Katheer (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
“Muhsineen ghayr musaafiheen wa laa muttakhidhi akhdaan (‘desiring chastity (i.e., taking them in legal wedlock), not committing illegal sexual intercourse, nor taking them as girlfriends’). Just as Allaah imposed the condition of chastity on women, meaning that they refrain from zinaa, so it is also imposed on men. The man must also be pure and chaste. So they should be ghayr musaafiheen, meaning they should not be adulterers who do not refrain from sin and do not refuse any who come to them (for immoral purposes). Nor should they be muttakhidhi akhdaan, meaning those who have girlfriends or female lovers with whom they have an exclusive relationship, as quoted above from Soorat al-Nisaa’. (The one with many lovers or the one with just one lover) are both the same. For this reason Imaam Ahmad ibn Hanbal (may Allaah have mercy on him) said that it is not right to marry a promiscuous woman unless she has repented, or to arrange a marriage of such a woman to a chaste man, so long as she is still conducting herself in this manner. Similarly, he (Ahmad) says that it is not right for a promiscuous man to marry a chaste woman unless he repents and gives up his immoral conduct, because of this aayah… We will discuss this matter in further detail after quoting the aayah (interpretation of the meaning):
“Let no man guilty of fornication or adultery marry any but a woman similarly guilty, or an unbeliever: nor let any but such a man or an unbeliever marry such a woman: to the Believers such a thing is forbidden.” [al-Noor 24:3]
Among the stories that show that it is forbidden to have girlfriends or to marry them is the story of Marthad ibn Abi Marthad, who used to smuggle Muslim prisoners-of-war from Makkah to Madeenah. There was a prostitute in Makkah, called ‘Anaaq, who had been a friend of Marthad’s. Marthad had promised to take one of the prisoners from Makkah to Madeenah. He said: “I came to the shade of one of the gardens of Makkah on a moonlit night, then ‘Anaaq came and saw my shadow by the garden. When she reached me, she recognized me and said: ‘Marthad?’ I said, ‘Marthad.’ She said: ‘Welcome! Stay with us tonight.’ I said, ‘O ‘Anaaq, Allaah has forbidden zinaa (unlawful sexual relations)’ … I came to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and asked him, ‘O Messenger of Allaah, should I marry ‘Anaaq?’ The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) remained silent and did not answer me at all, until the aayah ‘Let no man guilty of adultery or fornication marry any but a woman similarly guilty, or an Unbeliever; nor let any but such a man or an Unbeliever marry such a woman; to the Believers such a thing is forbidden’ [al-Noor 24:3 – Yusuf ‘Ali’s translation] was revealed. Then the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘O Marthad, Let no man guilty of adultery or fornication marry any but a woman similarly guilty, or an Unbeliever; nor let any but such a man or an Unbeliever marry such a woman, so do not marry her.’”
(Reported by al-Tirmidhi, 3101; he said: it is a hasan ghareeb hadeeth).
‘Abd-Allaah ibn Maghfal reported that there was a woman who had been a prostitute during the days of ignorance (before Islam). A man passed by her, or she passed by him, and he touched her. She said: “Stop it! (Mah! A word connoting a rebuke or denunciation). Allaah has done away with shirk and had brought Islam.” So he left her alone and went away, still looking at her, until he walked into a wall, hitting his face. He came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and told him what had happened. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “You are a man for whom Allaah wishes good. When Allaah, may He be blessed and exalted, wishes good for His slave, He hastens the punishment for his sin, so that it is dealt with before the Day of Resurrection.” (Reported by al-Haakim, 1/349, who said this hadeeth is saheeh according to the conditions of Muslim, and al-Dhahabi agreed with him. See Saheeh al-Jaami’, 308).
These aayaat and ahaadeeth clearly indicate that it is haraam (forbidden) for men to have any kind of friendship or relationship with non-mahram women (women to whom they are not closely-related and to whom they could get married). The evil consequences and misery caused by such relationships are obvious to anyone who observes real life. A similar question has been asked under #2085. We ask Allaah to keep us far away from that which is forbidden, to protect us from all that may earn His wrath and to keep us safe from a painful punishment. May Allaah bless our Prophet Muhammad.
Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid
-------------------- 'Abdullah bin 'Umar said, "Allah's Apostle (صلى الله عليه و سلم) took hold of my shoulder and said, "Be in this world as if you were a stranger or a traveller." Posts: 2342 | From: Its not where I'm from but where Im going | Registered: Jul 2007
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quote:Originally posted by Somewhere in the sands: The evil consequences and misery caused by such relationships are obvious to anyone who observes real life.
The evil consequences & misery caused by not get any poontang whatsoever is much, much worse.
Posts: 2404 | Registered: May 2006
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quote:Originally posted by MICKY A: The evil consequences & misery caused by not get any poontang whatsoever is much, much worse.
vb your too much
I'm sure that those kinds of comments are very well acceptable to some on this forum and if it is you need to turn to your Lord and ask for forgiveness.
However to any God fearing person male or female, Muslim, Christian, Jew or other than that would find that offensive wa Allah ta'ala wa alim.
Well for the atheist and the friends of shayateen then sure "The evil consequences & misery caused by not get any poontang whatsoever is much, much worse." Yeah VB you're too much..just kidding.
Posts: 2342 | From: Its not where I'm from but where Im going | Registered: Jul 2007
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posted
I'm sure that those kinds of comments are very well acceptable to some on this forum and if it is you need to turn to your Lord and ask for forgiveness.
quote:Originally posted by Somewhere in the sands: Well for the atheist and the friends of shayateen then sure "The evil consequences & misery caused by not get any poontang whatsoever is much, much worse." Yeah VB you're too much..just kidding.
Well for ignorant gashes then sure, go against your nature and endure the result, just don't whine about it.
Posts: 2404 | Registered: May 2006
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