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I am new in this forum PLEASE I need an advice: my fiancé (egyptian) does not to speak with me, we were thinking about our wedding, but had troubles. Now he wants time to think. But I do not know for how much time I must wait? I do not know if go to look , or if to call him but if I call he does not answer me, or if he does, he says : Need time. Posts: 6 | Registered: Feb 2005
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posted
Elisa, forget about it. He backed out and actually doesn't wanna tell you straight that its over.
If he doesn't want to talk to you you might want to write a letter to him and explain your feelings and your hopes to him again. If he receives it and doesn't respond - you need to move on. It's hard I know. Hope you have a circle of wonderful family members and friends around who will give you much emotional support.
[This message has been edited by Tigerlily (edited 04 February 2005).]
Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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This may sound harsh but I'd send him a note saying that you're moving on and then do it. If he won't even answer your calls then your choices are to find a friend or relative to mediate or move on.
Posts: 225 | From: USA | Registered: Jul 2004
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quote:Originally posted by sad_elisa: I am new in this forum PLEASE I need an advice: my fiancé (egyptian) does not to speak with me, we were thinking about our wedding, but had troubles. Now he wants time to think. But I do not know for how much time I must wait? I do not know if go to look , or if to call him but if I call he does not answer me, or if he does, he says : Need time.
Elisa
It seems like he is backing out but doesn't have what it takes to tell you in an open & honest manner. How much do you know about this man? Have you met his family? He might not want to tell his family he's in a relationship with a non-Egyptian woman or perhaps he's already married. This may sound harsh, but I think you need to move on as this guy doesn't seem to have honest intentions with you.
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hey elisa, well ... believe it or not i have been through situations like yours SO MANY TIMES BEFORE THAT I LOST COUNT LOL and honestly ... having to go through this i realized that if i am making an excuse for someone that i am going out with .. then he is just not that in to me ! and its so hard to realize or admit to something that tough especially if u r emotionally involved with him .. but thats the truth ! what i would do .. is just accept the fact that its over and move on ! i wish you the best of luck .. and trust me .. u deserve a lot better than that i am sure ) bye
Posts: 96 | From: cairo, egypt | Registered: Jan 2005
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If the man truly wants a woman, he will MOVE MOUNTAINS to be with her. Please remember that always. I see two choices:
A) The most effective closure would give you going to visit your guy unannounced and see for yourself what is really going on. That solution requires a lot of self-control to avoid making a scene, and also requires a lot of strength to face the truth.
B) Other option is what your friends here advised you: move on and try to forget. You may write a letter honestly expressing your feelings, but you don't necessarily have to mail it to him (just treat is as therapeutic 'venting device').
You have to firmly make up your mind and stick to it. However, no matter what choice you make it will be a painful and possibly lengthy process. I sincerely wish you the best of luck in making the right for you decision. Cry if you have to, but don't stop moving on. When I am in an ‘unbearable situation’ (much more often than I wish I was…), I remind myself my favorite saying: 'If you are going through hell, keep going'. With Love, K.
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How much time to give him.... Girl, give him the rest of his life.... Egyptian fiancees are easy to get.. any woman can have one.... The fact that he 'needs time'or will not talk to you tells you all you need to know.... this guy doesn't even have the courage to dump you...get yourself a man who gives you the love and respect you deserve....and lose this loser!!!! You seem so nice.... I wish you all the best!!!
Posts: 4238 | From: USA | Registered: Jul 2004
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THANKS TO ALL FOR YOUR REPLY, REALLY I AM FEELING SO SAD, DEPRESS, I told with him before (one week behind) and said plz if you want I move there and talk face to face and he said if you only move for talk with me or seeing to me do not do it please. The last year wanted marriage with me when were in Cairo and said no, and I said in this moment can not live with you , in this moment i was in the sword and the wall, it was my big fault, but he knows why I said it, but he does not trust in me. i said plz give me time. I know he suffered a lot too when happen with all it. Never I betrayed or played with him. He is my world, I adore him. Then I returned to my country and keep in touch and he was so tender, love to me. but then suddenly the things changed. I beg him.. I am feeling lost, I swear that i love him with all my heart. Today I called him his house , his job, send sms, and I have sent mail , and asked if he has other lady and does not love to me anymore that he says to me.. but I have not recieved answer. Only that last one that he wrote said loving you , it is my hope .. then mean that he still loving me. If I know that he love to me, and only he feels confused I will wait him for ever and wait that one day he forgive me.
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Eli, the fact that he was nice and loving after you went back home means he was not as angry as you were thinking. Why would he suddenly change his attitude NOW, when he should be more distant right after your hard times together? Think of it. Of course people go through change of hearts and times of confusion, but the way he acts now is pretty by the book of 'Typical Male Behaviours In Times Of Relationship Crisis' … Do not cling too much to the fact that he says he loves you (I really hate to say it, believe me). Men very often abuse these words. It does not mean he has no feelings for you, but can you really imagine someone truly in love treating you in such a cowardly way? The least he can do for whatever reason he is backing up, is to tell you the truth and not torture you in the emotional limbo. These are just my observation (I am more of the fighter than a lover I suspect ), deep in your heart you already know the answer. All the best to you. K. Posts: 2238 | From: Mother Earth | Registered: Jun 2004
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Probably as people have said it is time to move on but if you want to give it one last chance you have to understand men react differently to women when they have a problem. Basically they go to their cave and want to hide away and work it out for themselves. Women in complete contrast like to talk the problem through with other people just like you are doing now. So now if you want to give it one last chance let him be. Leave him alone in peace to think things out. If he loves you he will come back to you. The worst thing you can do is to chase him around right now.
Try and find some nice things to do to pass the days and stop calling him etc etc.
Take care of yourself and be sure in your mind there is nothing you need to be forgiven for.
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Penny brought up an excellent point: stop calling and wait if you decide to give him another chance. Men are indeed much different than women... I wish you patience, patience and patience, a completely abstract occurrence to me..... Posts: 2238 | From: Mother Earth | Registered: Jun 2004
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UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!
) 
Do not cling too much to the fact that he says he loves you (I really hate to say it, believe me). Men very often abuse these words. It does not mean he has no feelings for you, but can you really imagine someone truly in love treating you in such a cowardly way? The least he can do for whatever reason he is backing up, is to tell you the truth and not torture you in the emotional limbo. These are just my observation (I am more of the fighter than a lover I suspect 
), deep in your heart you already know the answer. All the best to you.
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