posted
HELLO, FIRST I WANT TO SAY HOW ARE YOU? I READ THIS FORUM SO LONG BUT NEVER WRITE. I LIVE AND WORK IN HURGHADA MANY YEARS, AND EVEN IF I SPEAK AND UNDERSTAND ENGLISH I HAVE PROBLEM WITH WRITING: SPELLING, GRAMMAR AND STYLE.
HERE IS THE PROBLEM USUALLY IF I NEED TO GET JOB I GO AND TALK PERSONALLY, BUT THIS TIME I HAVE TO WRITE A LETTER IN ENGLISH. I AM SITTING ON THIS 3 DAYS, PLEASE ANY GOOD PEOPLE WRITING AND SPEAKING ENGLISH VERY WELL COULD YOU CHECK IT? I M SURE THEY IS A LOT OF MISTAKES, MAYBE YOU HAVE SOME ADVICES? IF YOU ARE GM SOME HOTEL WHICH YOU GIVE ME THE JOB AFTER YOU RECEIVE TIS LETTER?
TO: GENERAL MANAGER OF ......... HOTEL MR.R
WE ARE ........ AND ....... WE HAVE OWNED COMPANY "....... VIDEO FILM" SINCE 6 YEARS. OUR WORK INCLUDE RECORDING AND MONTAGING FILMS AND THEN COPYING THEM ON CD,S. IN THIS TIME WE HAVE WORKED ON DESERT AND SEA SAFARII, SUBMARINES, SPECIAL OCCASIONS LIKE: WEDDINGS, BIRTHDAY PARTY, MERRY CHRISTMEST AND HAPPY NEW YEAR PARTYS, ETC.
SINCE ONE YEAR WE ARE CHANGING OUR PROFILE WITH SUCCESS, OUR OFFER INCLUDE NOW PROFESSIONAL ADVERTISING ON VCD. FOR EXAMPLE, WE HAVE MADE VCD FOR ............, WHICH IS PLAYING IN MANY DESC IN HOTELS IN HURGHADA AND SHARM EL SHEIK, HELPING SELLS TRIP ON THIS BOAT.
NOW COME TIME FOR ADVERTISING HOTELS, AND WE COME TO YOU FIRST BECOUSE WE HAVE BIG SENTYMENT TO ........ HOTEL (HERE WE HAVE MET AND HAD OUR WEDDING PARTY) AND BECOUSE OF ALL CHANGES IN THIS HOTEL. TOURIST SHOULD KNOW HOW BEAUTIFULL AND RELAXING IS YOUR HOTEL IN COMPARE TO THE LAST YEARS, WHICH IT WILL MAKE THEM PICK UP YOUR HOTEL FROM THE TRAVEL AGENCIES WHILE THEY ARE PLANNING HOLIDAYS IN HURGHADA.
SO THEY ARE 2 WAYS TO ADVERTISE YOUR HOTEL: - YOU COULD SEND OUR VCD TO TRAVEL AGENCIES (USUALLY THEY HAVE ONLY A FEW PHOTOS OF EACH HOTEL, AND VCD WILL SHOW THE POSIBBLE GUESTS EVERYTHING WHAT THEY SHOULD KNOW ABOUT YOUR HOTEL) - YOU COULD GIVE VCD TO EACH GUEST OF YOUR HOTEL FOR FREE (THE SAME WAY LIKE YOU GIVE THEM SOAP IN BATHROOM, TO MAKE THEM FEEL SPECIAL AND IMPORTANT) THE GUESTS COMING TO HOME AND SHARING THEIRS EXCITEMENT FROM HOLIDAYS WITH FAMILY MEMBERS, FRIENDS, ETC, THEY WILL SHOW VCD AND EVERYTHING COME CLEAR, HAPPY GUEST WILL MAKE YOU MORE AND MORE GUEST CHOSING YOUR HOTEL ON FUTURE HOLIDAYS IN HURGHADA
BECOUSE OF MANY YEARS OUR LIVING IN THIS CITY WE HAVE A LOT OF CONTACT WITH PEOPLE FROM ALL THE WORLD COMING HERE ON THEIRS DREAM HOLIDAYS, AND WE KNOW FROM THEM ABOUT PROBLEMS WITH PICKING UP THE BEST HOTELS FOR THEM. USUALLY THEY ARE CHOSING HOTELS BECOUSE THEY KNOW OPINION ABOUT IT FROM OTHER PEOPLE, THEY ARE LOOKING SOME INFORMATION IN INTERNET, BUT ONLY PHOTOS ARE AVAILAIBLE. RESOLVING OF THIS PROBLEM IS OUR VDC, WHICH WILL SHOW FUTURE GUEST YOUR HOTEL FROM OUT TO INSIDE, FROM HEAD TO FOOT: KITCHENS, REATAURANTS, BARS, DISCO, BEACH, SWIMMING POOL, ROOMS, GYMNASIUM AND EVERYTHING ELSE WHAT YOU ARE PROUD OF AND WHAT YOU WANT TO SHARE WITH THEM.
ALL DETEILS AND PRICES WE WILL GET YOU ON THE PERSONAL MEETING AS SOON AS YOU DECIDE WE ARE THE BEST WAY TO HELP YOU ADVERTISE PRINCESS PALCE HOTEL.
RESPECTFULLY, ...................
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL HELP AND CRITIZISING
IF I CAN HELP YOU IN ANYTHING....
Posts: 6 | Registered: Jul 2006
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by katalina: HELLO, FIRST I WANT TO SAY HOW ARE YOU? I READ THIS FORUM SO LONG BUT NEVER WRITE. I LIVE AND WORK IN HURGHADA MANY YEARS, AND EVEN IF I SPEAK AND UNDERSTAND ENGLISH I HAVE PROBLEM WITH WRITING: SPELLING, GRAMMAR AND STYLE.
HERE IS THE PROBLEM USUALLY IF I NEED TO GET JOB I GO AND TALK PERSONALLY, BUT THIS TIME I HAVE TO WRITE A LETTER IN ENGLISH. I AM SITTING ON THIS 3 DAYS, PLEASE ANY GOOD PEOPLE WRITING AND SPEAKING ENGLISH VERY WELL COULD YOU CHECK IT? I M SURE THEY IS A LOT OF MISTAKES, MAYBE YOU HAVE SOME ADVICES? IF YOU ARE GM SOME HOTEL WHICH YOU GIVE ME THE JOB AFTER YOU RECEIVE TIS LETTER?
TO: GENERAL MANAGER OF ......... HOTEL MR.R
WE ARE ........ AND ....... WE HAVE OWNED THE COMPANY "....... VIDEO FILM" FOR 6 YEARS. OUR WORK INCLUDES RECORDING, MONTAGING AND COPYING FILMS ON CD,S. IN THIS TIME WE HAVE WORKED ON DESERT AND SEA SAFARI, SUBMARINES, SPECIAL OCCASIONS SUCH AS: WEDDINGS, BIRTHDAYS PARTYS, CHRISTMAS CELEBRATIONS AND NEW YEAR PARTYS ETC.
DURING THE LAST YEAR WE HAVE CHANGED OUR PROFILE WITH SUCCESS. OUR OFFERS NOW INCLUDES PROFESSIONAL ADVERTISING ON VCD. FOR EXAMPLE, WE HAVE MADE VCD FOR ............, WHICH IS PLAYING IN MANY DESC IN HOTELS IN HURGHADA AND SHARM EL SHEIK, HELPING SELLS TRIPS ON THIS BOAT.
NOW COMES THE TIME FOR ADVERTISING HOTELS, AND WE COME TO YOU FIRST BECAUSE WE HAVE BIG SENTYMENT TO ........ HOTEL (HERE WE HAVE MET, AND HAD OUR WEDDING PARTY) AND BECAUSE OF ALL THE CHANGES IN THIS HOTEL. TOURISTS SHOULD KNOW HOW BEAUTIFULL AND RELAXING YOUR HOTEL IS NOW, COMPARED TO THE LAST FEW YEARS. THIS WILL MAKE THEM CHOOSE YOUR HOTEL FROM THE TRAVEL AGENCIES, WHILE THEY ARE PLANNING HOLIDAYS IN HURGHADA.
THERE IS 2 WAYS TO ADVERTISE YOUR HOTEL: - YOU COULD SEND OUR VCD TO TRAVEL AGENCIES (USUALLY THEY HAVE ONLY A FEW PHOTOS OF EACH HOTEL, AND VCD WILL SHOW THE POSSIBLE GUESTS EVERYTHING THEY SHOULD KNOW ABOUT YOUR HOTEL) - YOU COULD GIVE VCD TO EACH GUEST OF YOUR HOTEL FOR FREE (THE SAME WAY LIKE YOU GIVE THEM SOAP IN BATHROOM. TO MAKE THEM FEEL SPECIAL AND IMPORTANT). WHEN THE GUESTS RETURN HOME AND SHARE THEIR EXCITEMENT OF THE HOLIDAY WITH FAMILY MEMBERS, FRIENDS ETC, THEY WILL SHOW VCD AND EVERYTHING COME CLEAR. HAPPY GUESTS WILL MAKE EVEN MORE PEOPLE CHOSE YOUR HOTEL ON THEIR FUTURE HOLIDAYS IN HURGHADA!
BECAUSE OF MANY YEARS OF LIVING IN THIS CITY, WE HAVE A LOT OF CONTACTS WITH PEOPLE FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD COMING HERE ON THEIR DREAM HOLIDAYS. WE KNOW FROM THEM ABOUT PROBLEMS WITH PICKING OUT THE BEST HOTELS FOR THEM. USUALLY THEY ARE CHOSING HOTELS BECAUSE THEY HAVE HEARD ABOUT IT FROM OTHER PEOPLE, OR FROM SEARCHING THE INTERNET, BUT ONLY A FEW PHOTOS ARE AVAILAIBLE. THE SOLUTION TO THIS PROBLEM IS OUR VDC, WHICH WILL SHOW FUTURE GUESTS YOUR HOTEL FROM THE OUTSIDE TO THE INSIDE, FROM HEAD TO FOOT: KITCHENS, RESTAURANTS, BARS, DISCOS, BEACHES, SWIMMING POOLS, ROOMS, GYMNASIUMS AND EVERYTHING ELSE WHAT YOU ARE PROUD OF, AND WHAT YOU WANT TO SHARE WITH THEM.
ALL DETAILS AND PRICES WILL BE PROVIDED FOR YOU ON THE PERSONAL MEETING, AS SOON AS YOU DECIDE WE ARE THE BEST WAY TO HELP YOU ADVERTISE PRINCESS PALCE HOTEL.
RESPECTFULLY, ...................
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL HELP AND CRITIZISING
IF I CAN HELP YOU IN ANYTHING....
HOPE THIS HELPS... MIGHT BE WRONG SOME PLACES
Posts: 712 | From: Hurghada | Registered: Aug 2006
| IP: Logged |
posted
Im happy i could help, and i really do hope you get the job you are hoping for :-) Best wishes for u and your future.. see ya in Hurghada lol.
Posts: 712 | From: Hurghada | Registered: Aug 2006
| IP: Logged |
posted
TO: GENERAL MANAGER OF ......... HOTEL MR.R
WE ARE ........ AND ....... WE HAVE OWNED THE COMPANY "....... VIDEO FILM" FOR 6 YEARS. OUR WORK INCLUDES RECORDING, MONTAGING AND COPYING FILMS ON CD'S. IN THIS TIME WE HAVE WORKED ON DESERT AND SEA SAFARI, SUBMARINES, SPECIAL OCCASIONS SUCH AS: WEDDINGS, BIRTHDAYS PARTIES, CHRISTMAS CELEBRATIONS AND NEW YEAR PARTIES ETC.
DURING THE LAST YEAR WE HAVE CHANGED OUR PROFILE WITH SUCCESS. OUR OFFERS NOW INCLUDE PROFESSIONAL ADVERTISING ON VCD. FOR EXAMPLE, WE HAVE MADE VCD FOR ............, WHICH IS PLAYING IN MANY DESC IN HOTELS IN HURGHADA AND SHARM EL SHEIK, HELPING SELL TRIPS ON THIS BOAT.
NOW COMES THE TIME FOR ADVERTISING HOTELS, AND WE COME TO YOU FIRST BECAUSE WE HAVE BIG SENTIMENT TO ........ HOTEL (HERE WE HAVE MET, AND HAD OUR WEDDING PARTY) AND BECAUSE OF ALL OF THE CHANGES IN THIS HOTEL. TOURISTS SHOULD KNOW HOW BEAUTIFUL AND RELAXING YOUR HOTEL IS NOW, COMPARED TO THE LAST FEW YEARS. THIS WILL MAKE THEM CHOOSE YOUR HOTEL FROM THE TRAVEL AGENCIES, WHILE THEY ARE PLANNING HOLIDAYS IN HURGHADA.
THERE ARE 2 WAYS TO ADVERTISE YOUR HOTEL: - YOU COULD SEND OUR VCD TO TRAVEL AGENCIES (USUALLY THEY HAVE ONLY A FEW PHOTOS OF EACH HOTEL, AND VCD WILL SHOW THE POSSIBLE GUESTS EVERYTHING THEY SHOULD KNOW ABOUT YOUR HOTEL) - YOU COULD GIVE VCD TO EACH GUEST OF YOUR HOTEL FOR FREE (THE SAME WAY LIKE YOU GIVE THEM SOAP IN BATHROOM. THIS WILL MAKE THEM FEEL SPECIAL AND IMPORTANT). WHEN THE GUESTS RETURN HOME AND SHARE THEIR EXCITEMENT OF THE HOLIDAY WITH FAMILY MEMBERS, FRIENDS ETC, THEY WILL SHOW VCD AND EVERYTHING WILL BE CLEAR. HAPPY GUESTS WILL INFLUENCE EVEN MORE PEOPLE TO CHOOSE YOUR HOTEL ON THEIR FUTURE HOLIDAYS IN HURGHADA!
BECAUSE OF MANY YEARS OF LIVING IN THIS CITY, WE HAVE A LOT OF CONTACTS WITH PEOPLE FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD COMING HERE ON THEIR DREAM HOLIDAYS. WE KNOW FROM THEM ABOUT PROBLEMS WITH PICKING OUT THE BEST HOTELS FOR THEM. USUALLY THEY ARE CHOOSING HOTELS BECAUSE THEY HAVE HEARD ABOUT THEM FROM OTHER PEOPLE, OR FROM SEARCHING THE INTERNET, BUT ONLY A FEW PHOTOS ARE AVAILABLE. THE SOLUTION TO THIS PROBLEM IS OUR VCD, WHICH WILL SHOW FUTURE GUESTS YOUR HOTEL EVERYTHING FROM THE OUTSIDE TO THE INSIDE, FROM HEAD TO FOOT: KITCHENS, RESTAURANTS, BARS, DISCOS, BEACHES, SWIMMING POOLS, ROOMS, GYMNASIUMS AND EVERYTHING ELSE THAT YOU ARE PROUD OF, AND WHAT YOU WANT TO SHARE WITH THEM.
ALL DETAILS AND PRICES WILL BE PROVIDED FOR YOU ON THE PERSONAL MEETING AS SOON AS YOU DECIDE WE ARE THE BEST WAY TO HELP YOU ADVERTISE PRINCESS PALACE HOTEL.
RESPECTFULLY, ...................
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL HELP AND CRITIZISING
IF I CAN HELP YOU IN ANYTHING....
Ok on the last part of Princess .... hotel.. you may mean either palace or place.... depending on whether you left a letter our or just switched 2 letters around.. I have corrected a few spelling mistakes and wordings that I found.
posted
Also noticed the word desc???? what is the meaning of this word.... desc in many hotels??? let me know and if needed i will help you correct this word
-------------------- If you don't learn from your mistakes, there's no sense making them. Posts: 15090 | From: http://www.egyptalk.com/forum/ | Registered: Jul 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
TO: GENERAL MANAGER OF ......... HOTEL MR.R
WE ARE ........ AND ....... WE HAVE OWNED THE COMPANY "....... VIDEO FILM" FOR 6 YEARS. OUR WORK INCLUDES RECORDING, MONTAGING AND COPYING FILMS ON CD'S. WE HAVE WORKED ON DESERT AND SEA SAFARI, SUBMARINES, SPECIAL OCCASIONS SUCH AS: WEDDINGS, BIRTHDAYS PARTIES, CHRISTMAS CELEBRATIONS AND NEW YEAR PARTIES ETC.
DURING THE LAST YEAR WE HAVE EXPANDED OUR SERVICES WITH SUCCESS. OUR OFFERS NOW INCLUDE PROFESSIONAL ADVERTISING ON BROCHURES. FOR EXAMPLE, WE HAVE MADE BROCHURES FOR ............, WHICH ARE BEING DISPLAYED IN MANY REGISTRATION DESKS IN HOTELS IN HURGHADA AND SHARM EL SHEIK, HELPING SELL TRIPS ON THIS BOAT.
WE BELIEVE THE TIME HAS COME FOR HOTEL ADVERTISING AND WE COME TO YOU FIRST BECAUSE WE HAVE BIG SENTIMENT FOR ........ HOTEL (SINCE HERE IS WHERE WE MET, AND HAD OUR WEDDING PARTY) AND BECAUSE OF ALL OF THE CHANGES IN THIS HOTEL. TOURISTS SHOULD KNOW HOW BEAUTIFUL AND RELAXING YOUR HOTEL IS NOW, COMPARED TO THE LAST FEW YEARS. THIS WILL ENCOURAGE TOURIST TO CHOOSE YOUR HOTEL WHEN CONSULTING TRAVEL AGENCIES FOR PLANNING HOLIDAYS IN HURGHADA.
THERE ARE 2 WAYS TO ADVERTISE YOUR HOTEL: - YOU COULD SEND OUR BROCHURES TO TRAVEL AGENCIES (USUALLY THEY HAVE ONLY A FEW PHOTOS OF EACH HOTEL, AND BROCHURES WILL SHOW THE POSSIBLE GUESTS EVERYTHING THEY SHOULD KNOW ABOUT YOUR HOTEL) - YOU COULD GIVE BROCHURES TO EACH GUEST OF YOUR HOTEL FOR FREE (THE SAME WAY LIKE YOU GIVE THEM SOAP IN BATHROOM. THIS WILL MAKE THEM FEEL SPECIAL AND IMPORTANT). WHEN THE GUESTS RETURN HOME AND SHARE THEIR EXCITEMENT OF THE HOLIDAY WITH FAMILY MEMBERS, FRIENDS ETC, THEY CAN SHOW THE BROCHURES TO HAVE ALL THE INFORMATION FOR FUTURE REFERENCE. HAPPY GUESTS WILL INFLUENCE EVEN MORE PEOPLE TO CHOOSE YOUR HOTEL ON THEIR FUTURE HOLIDAYS IN HURGHADA!
BECAUSE OF MANY YEARS OF LIVING IN THIS CITY, WE HAVE A LOT OF CONTACTS WITH PEOPLE FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD COMING HERE ON THEIR DREAM HOLIDAYS. WE KNOW FROM THEM ABOUT PROBLEMS WITH PICKING OUT THE BEST HOTELS. USUALLY THEY ARE CHOOSING HOTELS BECAUSE THEY HAVE HEARD ABOUT THEM FROM OTHER PEOPLE, OR FROM SEARCHING THE INTERNET, BUT ONLY A FEW PHOTOS ARE AVAILABLE. THE SOLUTION TO THIS PROBLEM IS OUR VCD, WHICH WILL SHOW FUTURE GUESTS YOUR HOTEL EVERYTHING FROM THE OUTSIDE TO THE INSIDE: KITCHENS, RESTAURANTS, BARS, DISCOS, BEACHES, SWIMMING POOLS, ROOMS, GYMNASIUMS AND EVERYTHING ELSE THAT YOU ARE PROUD OF, AND WHAT YOU WANT TO SHARE WITH THEM.
ALL DETAILS AND PRICES WILL BE PROVIDED FOR YOU ON THE PERSONAL MEETING AS SOON AS YOU DECIDE WE ARE THE BEST WAY TO HELP YOU ADVERTISE PRINCESS PALACE HOTEL. WE LOOK FORWARD TO DOING BUSINESS WITH YOU AND GUARANTEE YOU WILL BE SATISFIED WITH OUR SERVICES.
RESPECTFULLY, ...................
I hope this helps, I think by VCD you mean brochure, and I changed some of the wording to make it sound more professional, also I added that sentence at the end to encourage the person you are sending this to. I think wording is very important and also thinking about who you are adressing. I actually traveled for the first time to Egypt this past June, and I visited Hurghada and loved it,.. but it is true something that that you often are concerned with when traveling, and that is how to choose a hotel because there is very little info online. If you need any clarifications of my corrections let me know or send me an email, I will be glad to help. Good luck with everything.
Mari
Posts: 23 | From: Mexico | Registered: Aug 2006
| IP: Logged |
to all of you: thank you so much, i have sent this letter today and if i get this job it will be also your success....i will give you know about it
idea about advertising on vcd - (movie) was so simple becouse when i used to travel the information about hotels were so little that i have never know where i am going to.
if this idea will work hopefully next time you are coming to hurghada, you would see everything about hotels on our vcd
once again, thank you so much.......
Posts: 6 | Registered: Jul 2006
| IP: Logged |
posted
i think its a good idea.. when i was in hurghada my 1 time i was on jeep safari.. this trip was filmed and i bought it on dvd :-D (allways fun to watch)
Posts: 712 | From: Hurghada | Registered: Aug 2006
| IP: Logged |
My name is _________, please allow me to introduce myself in the representation of __________. This company is co-owned by ____________. (name of company) has been in business for six years with a work capacity including both the recording and montaging of films as well as copying them to CD's.
(company name) has been successful working in a variety of settings including desert, sea, safari as well as operating in a submarine capacity. We pride ourselves on our ability to turn special occasions (including weddings, birthdays, Christmas and celebrations for the new year)into a memorable fixture.
For the last year we have updated our advertising and currently we are implimenting professional advertising on VCD. We have created very tasteful advertising for VCD for (insert name), which is available now in many desks in hotels both in Hurghada as well as Sharm El Sheik. We have found these advertisements extremely useful in boosting sells trips on this boat.
This is just an idea of how I could/would change your letter. If you would like me to finish the rest for you, just let me know.
UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!
Printer-friendly view of this topic