posted
Those of us crossing continents have to make big decisions about letting go of stuff.
I used to have severe difficulties with this and was drowning in stuff eg a defunct music centre that I couldn't bring myself to throw away.
About 5 years ago I discovered this serious academic paper - "Mortuary rites for inanimate objects" (link to PDF paper you can download given below). Its fascinating - its about how the Japanese have rites for getting rid of stuff which is no longer needed by them, but which did 'good service', e.g. used needles, old spectacles, radios etc.
I actually found it quite useful - partly because it brought home to me the idiocy of hanging on to stuff that I no longer needed and partly because it let me understand many people imbue objects with some kind of 'spirit' and also a way of letting go.
I've still got lots of stuff but its WAY down on 5 years ago. One of my biggest problems was letting go of books - my upbringing means its almost sacriligeous to get rid of books, my parents have thousands of them and my social class 'intellectual middle' really looks down on families who don't have many books, no matter how rich or high born or well-placed professionally they might be! I've managed to get rid of over 1000 books in the past 2 years - mainly to charity shops. (Just to point out to American readers - in the UK we don't get any tax advantages from donating items to charity shops unlike the US).
Some people also recommend taking photographs of favourite objects that you have to let go and keeping them in an album.
I have to say that learning to let go is a very freeing thing and that I can get fairly easily get rid of things now that I couldn't 2 years ago.
Posts: 5593 | From: Egypt | Registered: Dec 2005
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posted
after living practially out of a suitcase since I was 18 years old (now 48) its second nature to me to keep possessions to a minimum - living and working in various countries all my adult life, its quite strange now to have been in the same place for nearly 10 years!
(have to, my son needs to go to school!)
I too found the biggest thing was letting go of books - I try to keep possession down to a minimum and pass them around.
Luckily I've never been a hoarder - but there are a few things I keep, such as photos (obviously), craft things and cards my son has made for me.
Posts: 1056 | From: UK, Middle East & Europe | Registered: Jun 2006
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posted
OMG I was discussing this on EN the other day, and was just about to start a thread here about hoarding and clutter and letting go of old things. Thumbs up, OB!
I moved house not long ago, and I ended up throwing away a middle-sized country! But I did it in the most bizarre way, since I can never separate from my things, a friend of mine did it for me! She and her husband simply came with a truck and threw away my whole attic. *Tears* .. *of happiness?*
And I wasn't even there.
I feel like I lost some weight!!!
Posts: 8756 | From: Tax-Free Zone | Registered: Jul 2005
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posted
I make a point of never storing things in the attic - if there's no need for it in the house, I dont keep it. In fact, I've never been into my attic!
Posts: 1056 | From: UK, Middle East & Europe | Registered: Jun 2006
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quote:Originally posted by MK the Most Interlectual: OMG I was discussing this on EN the other day, and was just about to start a thread here about hoarding and clutter and letting go of old things. Thumbs up, OB!
I moved house not long ago, and I ended up throwing away a middle-sized country! But I did it in the most bizarre way, since I can never separate from my things, a friend of mine did it for me! She and her husband simply came with a truck and threw away my whole attic. *Tears* .. *of happiness?*
And I wasn't even there.
I feel like I lost some weight!!!
Oh wow - I've been a Flybaby for 5 years.... Marla Cilley 'saved' my life! She's a bit 'mom and apple pie' but I'm on a side group to hers which is all working women, most of us with Masters and PhDs etc, who all have problems with - what Marla helps us realise - is 'perfectionism', i.e. the attitude that if you can't do it all and get it all perfect at once, don't even start. I love her 'you can do anything for 15 minutes' approach and I have adapted it to 'you can do anything for 5 minutes' and in the worst case - 'you can do anything for 1 minute'. That is a really good move. I could go on about it all for hours. But I won't because there are other places for those sort of things.
Posts: 5593 | From: Egypt | Registered: Dec 2005
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posted
Well having cleared up after my husband when he died, myself when I moved countries and my father when he went into a home I have now got it down to fine art.
Chuck it!
It is only stuff and really does not matter.
However having said that books are sacred objects. I once did a clear out when I was about 13/14 and totally regretted it and ended up buying some of the books again i missed them so much. But I only keep books I have read at least twice and know I will read again.
-------------------- Jane Akshar UK Co-owner of www.flatsinluxor.co.uk Appartments and Tours in Luxor Posts: 2791 | From: www.flatsinluxor.co.uk, Luxor, Egypt | Registered: Jan 2003
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Ah but Jane...... chucking it is fine if you can decide what to chuck! I cannot do that!!!!!
Posts: 1196 | From: www.spiritofthenile.com | Registered: Jun 2002
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posted
I've seen a couple of shows about hoarders. I'm amazed at some of the items people hang on to. My house is three stories... plenty of room to store massive amounts of stuff! But I agree with DawnBev. I never store anything in the attic. I have nine closets all to myself, and they aren't even full. I am sort of a minimalist, so I feel like I'm in a constant state of weeding out items that I just don't even look at anymore. It's a very cleansing feeling. As an English teacher, I do have a hard time getting rid of books, but I do it anyway once I realize that I haven't looked them for a couple years. I usually donate things... if they're worth it, and I take some stuff to work and just leave it in the faculty room. Inevitably someone will take it! It's my way of recycling. When all else fails, I do resort to "chucking." Posts: 332 | Registered: Mar 2005
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posted
Funny to see this thread after I've spent 5 hours going through stuff in boxes that I failed to chuck before I moved as well. Ugh. We own too much junk! For no reason! But I don't understand why I can't part with that cook book I never open or whether little mementos from trips are important enough to keep (I did keep those, even travel brochures bring back memories...).
I still got rid of three trashbags of stuff, and boy clothes for a new charity I found for teen moms here in the People's Republik. Posts: 8794 | From: 01-20-09 The End of an Error | Registered: Dec 2004
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posted
I have issues with things, only mine is a bit different and I have yet to find anyone else like me (Let me know if you are the same please). I am the opposite of a pack rat. I throw out everything, very quickly and very easily. I hate to have many things from the past, papers, letters, photos, albumns, memorabilia, souvenirs. In fact, if I go on vacation I don't even buy souvenirs anymore because I know it will be trashed in a months time. So what is wrong with me? My mother seems to think I push people and things away so easily (I am working on this) and my anti-pack-rat mentality is a direct reflection of this. Maybe a childhood issue I'm not aware of or something. Anyway, there's my two cents. Posts: 13440 | Registered: Feb 2006
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posted
I think anti-pack rat is good. I *thought* I was like that, and in a way I still am. Hosbond doesn't understand why I throw out some perfectly good stuff. But I can't fool myself into thinking I'm like that anymore after I see how much crap we moved here to this new house.
Honestly, though, I think I've only regretted throwing out one or two things in my entire life. My grandmother used to keep old, used nails in a glass jar, remnants of thread, those types of things. But she lived through the depression. I have no such issues or excuses. Posts: 8794 | From: 01-20-09 The End of an Error | Registered: Dec 2004
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posted
WOW, Smucky! Something else we have in common. I didn't know you were anti pack rat too. I honestly HATE clutter. I have been looking at this one scrapbook my mother created for me as I was growing up. In it, she pasted every greeting card I ever received since I was born (this is in addition to my baby book which she also created). I took out the scrapbook the other day and was really trying to figure out why I should keep it. It just sits in a bag on a closet shelf. I hate that, but I feel like it would be rude to throw THAT particular item away.
Oh, and I watched this show on Oprah last year about a woman who wouldn't throw anything away. Her house was filled with empty cans, boxes, newspapers, even animal feces because she just couldn't bring herself to deal with it. And I recently watched another show about hoarders. One lady's parents passed away, and she put their stuff in storage where it stayed for twenty years! Now that's twisted! I mean, get some help!
Posts: 332 | Registered: Mar 2005
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posted
I am definitely the total opposite of being a 'messie'. My whole family can vouch for that! Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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quote:Originally posted by Shareen: Ah but Jane...... chucking it is fine if you can decide what to chuck! I cannot do that!!!!!
Well I used the 'do I want to pay to ship this to Egypt' criteria. It is amazing how well that works. Especially when you are paying yourself not a company or embassy paying. Seriously I have got a lot more radical about this since I realised my life does not depend on these things.
Posts: 2791 | From: www.flatsinluxor.co.uk, Luxor, Egypt | Registered: Jan 2003
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posted
Well you are going to have to do something really soon
-------------------- Jane Akshar UK Co-owner of www.flatsinluxor.co.uk Appartments and Tours in Luxor Posts: 2791 | From: www.flatsinluxor.co.uk, Luxor, Egypt | Registered: Jan 2003
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Smucky ~ Have you ever done this? A friend is visiting you and admires something, so you give it to him or her? I do that from time to time too. It's the best feeling. I got hugs in return, and I don't miss the items at all. Posts: 332 | Registered: Mar 2005
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posted
Gail, sure I've done that, 'take it', no problem. I'm with you about the scrapbook. My mother made one for me, I told her to hang onto it for me, otherwise I wouldn't keep it.
I heard that hoarders and pack rats do it because of something in their lives they have issues with. The hoarding is something they can control since they feel out of control in some area of their lives. I guess the anti-pack rat could be the same thing in an opposite way? Feeling too much control, maybe we feel like we need to be more carefree and 'live a little'. Posts: 13440 | Registered: Feb 2006
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posted
I used to have a really hard getting rid of things. I think it was because I didn't have much growing up. I learned to hold on to and appreciate what I had. I think it took me until I had kids to realize that they were just things and to learn to let go. Now I save important things, but I give a lot away. Many times I've given away things that I used. That is really fun.
-------------------- شكرا و أللام عليكم شيبى Posts: 2133 | From: Redneckland | Registered: Oct 2006
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quote:Originally posted by Shebah: I used to have a really hard getting rid of things. I think it was because I didn't have much growing up. I learned to hold on to and appreciate what I had. I think it took me until I had kids to realize that they were just things and to learn to let go. Now I save important things, but I give a lot away. Many times I've given away things that I used. That is really fun.
I think it`s just a characteristic. As a kid, I didn`t have anything. When I left home, also it was without anything. But still it is not very important to me. I have no problems with giving things away. I don`t think it`s important how big my car is, or how expensive my clothes are, or how many things I ow... It`s only stuff....
Posts: 7202 | From: EU | Registered: Nov 2006
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Yeah, I think "anti-pack rat" IS the opposite of hoarding. I also think of it in different terms though. When I die, guess what's going to happen to all of this stuff? Somebody is going to come in and chuck it... or have a yard sale. People sometimes say that if you don't wear a piece of clothing for at least a year, get rid of it. I try to use a similar approach to other "things" as well. If I haven't even looked at it in a long time and it has been in a box somewhere, it's out of here! I think the only reason why I even have any excess items at all is because friends and family give me things, and my students give me things. Then I hang onto them for a while. And, of course, there are some gifts that I want to keep because of sentimental reasons. Posts: 332 | Registered: Mar 2005
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I once did a clear out when I was about 13/14 and totally regretted it and ended up buying some of the books again i missed them so much. But I only keep books I have read at least twice and know I will read again.![[Smile]](smile.gif)
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