Tell me something, am I the only one to have a problem with tipping? Am I the only one to feel it is wrong to hand someone a few coins or notes in their hand because they are doing their job? Or even worst, just because they are being nice to you?
The worst case of tipping unease I have felt is on a trip to Egypt one year during the holidays. Everywhere I went, people would wish me happy holidays (kul sannah wa inti salmah to be exact) and do something like hand me a paper towel in a bathroom and then wait in front of me with an expectant smile until I understood that a tip was in order.
Of course I did tip them. What is more, I tipped them generously. It's not about the money at all. My problem is far more complex than that. Partly, it is the way it reinforces social inequality.
The idea behind tipping or leaving a gratuity should be that you are thanking someone for good service. In the case of the Egyptian woman who handed me a paper towel in a bathroom, the service she provided me was entirely unnecessary since I could have just as easily helped myself to the towel, but it enabled her to ask me for money without begging. In these cases the gratuity becomes less and less about service and more and more about alleviating poverty. Similarly, when I had my hair cut during that trip to Cairo, there was one woman who seated me, another who took my coat, a third who made me coffee, still another that washed my hair, one more cut it, another styled it, and finally the owner of the salon did the finishing touches with a flourish. I tipped all of them, as did all the other clients. And while my hair was being cut, I watched the other clients carefully as they left to learn how much I should give, because that's the other problem with tipping, I never know just how much one should give.
The very idea of tipping itself is difficult for me. You normally don't tip professionals who give you a good service. I have never tipped my accountant, my travel agent or my doctor's receptionist, though all three may have gone out of their way to help me, but tipping them would just not be socially acceptable, at least not here in Europe.
We don't tip professionals first, because they charge us a fee for their services which should ensure they are paid adequately for what they do and, secondly, because there is no implicit assumption that this person is less well off than you and you should help them put food on their table. Moreover, we don't tip them because the way you show appreciation for good service is by returning to their establishment, recommending them to others and thanking them verbally for doing such a good job.
But then the principle behind tipping is not so much that you are thanking someone for good service - that strictly speaking is a gratuity - but that you are showing your appreciation in a way that will ensure you are treated well next time you come to that establishment. Hence, for example, you tip the doorman in a nightclub so that he lets you in at once when there is a queue, or you leave a generous tip in a restaurant so that the next time you come they seat you at a good table. Essentially, you are paying to be treated better than customers who have not paid up. I don't much like that either. Should I tip my doctor's receptionist so that she gives me an appointment ahead of others? It strikes me as inherently unfair.
What is unfair in restaurants, however, is that in many countries waiting staff are paid a pittance and make their living from tips. What is even more unfair is that in many places the management take a substantual cut from the money you leave for service, as a British newspaper has uncovered this week.
Why can't waiting staff be paid like anyone else undertaking a professional job? Why should service be paid for separately to the food and cooking? It is after all a key part of the restaurant experience. It has always struck me as wrong.
Apparently it is to ensure you get good service and to ensure that those who work best get paid the most. Not good enough in my view. Surely we should be entitled to expect good service and surely there are other ways of rewarding good workers.
The worst part is that it has become so confusing. In London for instance, most restaurants either add a 12.5 percent service charge to your credit card check or expect you to do so. But does the money go to the waiter or to the owners? I have a friend who never leaves it on a credit card but leaves cash instead. The other day the waiter gently asked him not to. It turned out that if the management noticed that customers were not paying the included service charge on his checks, he would be noted as providing poor service and get into trouble for it. Yet, in another restaurant the waiter actually asked us to leave it in cash, because "otherwise we just don't get it." So what should you do?
Then there are the restaurants that include a service charge but leave credit card tabs open so that you add another tip. Here I find I have to pointedly say to the waiter, "service is included isn't it?" before I cross out the space left open.
It is much better in countries like France where waiting tables is a respected profession that people will do for life and live decently on instead of being something hard-up students do in order to put themselves through school. All establishments include the service charge in the prices you see on the menu; it is a requirement by law. Not only does this mean you know exactly what you are paying for, but the staff - in theory at least - get a stable income. You are, of course, free to leave a small cash tip as most people do. Or maybe, it should be like it is in Japan, where not only are you not expected to tip but people will be offended if you do. And yet, Japanese standards of service are legendary. All goes to show...
posted
Tipping is not a right, it's more of a privilege than anything else, however, considering some places hire low waged people it wouldn't be a bad idea to leave a tip.
Posts: 435 | Registered: Jul 2008
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posted
Well with what you just said than in Egypt everything has to be tipped.
I like to tip anyway, if I receive good service and can make someone else's day a little brighter than why not.
Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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