Thank you for you reply. I am actually 18 and will begin attending college next year. To be honest, I have never enjoyed high school and have been waiting for the opportunity to attend college for quite some time. That, and the fact that his departure has been very hard for me could explain my "high-schooly-ness" in this and the previous post.
He speaks english almost fluently. He wants me to study Egyptian Arabic, but I plan instead on studying such languages as Italian, German, Russian, and French, since those are the languages vital to my goals of becoming a classicaly trained singer.
He has admitted to not strictly observing Islamic codes and has gone against the religion in other ways, as well. His parents are, however, strict Moslems.
I had no idea that Islam said that Moslem men could not make out before marriage. Abdallah explained that the acceptance of certain sexual behaviors, besides the act of sex itself, varied on location. He said that largely-populated urban areas, such as Cairo and Alexandria, are more accepting of making-out, whereas areas with a smaller population tend to condone such behaviors.
Despite being a student, he has had jobs. For many years has been a professional soccer player at his local soccer club and, in America, he has been working 8 hour nights at an Egyptian cafe to earn money for his family.
When I say marriage, I look upon it as more of a possibility, not as a definite future.
But I sincerely appreciate your advice. His departure has certainly made me reflect upon my own feelings and I certainly do confuse myself!
I hope that, after a few days, it will be easier to put things into perspective.
quote:
Originally posted by leilanism:
Wow that fact that he wants to lose his virginity before marriage is bad.Be sure that he doesnt wan't your american citzenship. I am assuming you don't speak arabic. Does he speak english well?
I am pretty sure you guys had communications problems because of the cultural and language distinctions.
As for the part about men crying. Males in my family are not allowed to cry. I have never seen my father shed a tear. He is a strong person. It is a cultural thing.
If he is a true muslim he wouldn't be kissing you passionately. he should have limit himself to small pecks because he is thinking lustfully by "making out" with you.
He didn't want to see you cry because that is depressing. If he cares for you, ofcourse he doesn't want to see you upset. That is in every culture my dear.
He sounds confused just as you are.
If you really love him, then just keep in touch. Communicate online. i wouldnt advice sending mail because that takes for ever. To go to egypt it isn't expensive. It is about 2000 a ticket to go and come.
By the way you sound, i think you are a high school student, am I right? I think you are a soph or junior in high school since you said Exchange student.
I dont think at your age you should be focusing on love and sex. It is must better to focus on education and being a child.
I noticed how you called yourself "american girl" as oppose to "american women." Please allow yourself to mature. I myself am only 18 and I don't concentrate on marriage.
This kid still lives with his parents. He doesnt have a career. He isn't stable. He is just a kid like you are.
Since none of us here in the forum know about his family we cant tell you how they would react to marrying an american girl. Because obviously they were open enough to allow him to come to America. I have some family members that wouldn't even let that happen.
This kid is the baby in his family.
By the way, from the sound of it, I don't think you are muslim. Am I right? Are you thinking about becoming muslim? Are you trying to learn arabic?
The american culture is completleyyyyy different than egyptian culture. Good luck. i wish you the best.
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