posted
I have a friend who married an Egyptian man about 2 years ago. In that time he always talked about taking her to Egypt to meet his family and there appeared to be no problem with that. In February of this year they went to INS and finalized his citizenship for US. A few weeks after that he announced he was going to Egypt because his family was upset that he hadn't been there in a few years and his sons wanted to see him. Supposedly his brother sent him the air ticket. I forgot to mention, the whole time he was working he contributed very little to household bills, no food shopping. Her parents are wealty and pay for everything, even his gas! She mentioned that she wanted to go the Egypt with him and he said No, his family was upset and wanted to smooth things over with them before she came over. Now he tells her that his family does not want to meet her because she is Jewish, she converted to Islam a few years back and her hubby had never mentioned before that this was a problem for his family. So, she is going to Egypt in a few weeks and is planning to meet her in Cairo away from the family. He also had an apartment that he now claims they can't stay in because his family rented it out without his knowledge to help with finances. I keep telling her that something is just not right with the whole scenario. Why all of a sudden does the family not want to meet her? Also, the timing is questionable with him just getting his papers here in the US. I think he may still be married. He showed my friend his divorce papers but that could say anything for all she knows as she doesn't read Arabic. Sorry this is so long but I am getting very frustrated with her. I don't think he even plans on showing her is home town in Egypt. Maybe I am being too suspicious but I just have a feeling. Any thoughts on this all of you wise people here??
Posts: 63 | From: New York | Registered: Nov 2005
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To being married an Egyptian for two years and not to learn his language is an error in my opinion. Then other error was to not met his family in these years...at least she could meet his son. She had to ask him to bring his son there in one holiday. In that it concerns his divorce papers... I think that he said the truth because when he married your friend he needed his divorce papers for to do this marriage, isn't it? Advice for her...well...if she feels that her marriage is enough strong and he still loves her she has to show some trust in him. I wish her the best and good luck! Posts: 1414 | From: far away | Registered: Sep 2004
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When they got married he told the clerk that he was never married! He also told INS officials he was never married. Said he did it because he didn't want to have to go to the trouble of having to translate his divorce papers into English. hmmmm
Posts: 63 | From: New York | Registered: Nov 2005
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I don't know what the law says there...but in Romania someone who makes false paper goes into the jail. I don't know what to say...all situation sound strange to me...
Posts: 1414 | From: far away | Registered: Sep 2004
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That doesn't sound right to me. With my experience in dealing with gov't or other "official" business (Secretary of State, etc.)they need documentation of everything. As a matter of fact I went to the Secretary of State yesterday to change my last name and only brought my translated copy of my marriage certificate. They wouldn't accept just that they needed the original also even though it's in Arabic.
quote:Originally posted by geminilion: When they got married he told the clerk that he was never married! He also told INS officials he was never married. Said he did it because he didn't want to have to go to the trouble of having to translate his divorce papers into English. hmmmm
posted
Well,by the time he got to the INS he had his marriage papers to current wife. When they asked if he had ever been married before he said no. When they originally went to get marriage license in the city where they live he simply stated that he was never married to get marriage license. I care about my friend a great deal and like I;ve said before this all seems very fishy to me. She won't listen to me. I am posting here because I am not sure if I am being too suspicious or if there would be a general consensus that something isn't right here.
Posts: 63 | From: New York | Registered: Nov 2005
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Gemi, If he lied when he got the marriage license, the marriage it is not valid.(I'm from Brazil and married a american). He probabilly just have hei green card not citizenship, because you have to have that first for a while to be able to aplly to that. Was he sending all his money to Egypt? If smell like fish, tastes like fish, probabilly is one. Gemi, being her friend, besides what you wrote, in your relationship whit then, during this time, have you notice something that raised your eyebrows?
Posts: 106 | From: Florida, USA | Registered: Jan 2006
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I think she needs to clamp down on him. she needs to dig into his personal papers and stuff and try to find an arabic speaker to tell her what it all says, it may reveal something.
and his family sounds stupid, no real muslims would hold it against someone that theyre jewish after they converted to islam! ridiculous, I actually HOPE its a lie because of this.
this doesnt make sense, can you clarify: "He also had an apartment that he now claims they can't stay in because his family rented it out without his knowledge to help with finances."
-------------------- Bakhsheesh! Yes, you are reading and enjoying my posts! So hand it over! Posts: 120 | From: USA | Registered: Nov 2005
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It's all extremely suspicious, geminilion.Isn't lying on official documents a criminal offence? Once a liar, always a liar. He probably hasn't even told his family about her.
Posts: 1039 | From: Cairo | Registered: Sep 2002
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quote:Originally posted by _Masrawi_: Pretty obvious ... He's still married to his Egyptian wife.
Agreed. Gemi, next thing he will bring his first wife to America and hand your friend the divorce from the Egyptian court.
Posts: 2238 | From: Mother Earth | Registered: Jun 2004
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Thanks for all of your input. About the apartment, he told her that he had an apartmentin Cairo and when the time came for them to visit Egypt they could stay there. Now, all of a sudden, it was rented to someone by his family without his knowledge or permission. While he as here he worked full time but did not give her any money!! Her parents pay the bills, only God knows why. I have told her over and over my suspicions but she just doesn't want to hear it. She insists that he is really divorced and would never lie to her. It really hurts me to see this but there is not much I can do. I can't force her to see it. She is going in two weeks time and is not allowed even to go see his family or visit the town he comes from. It seems so obvious to all but her. Thanks again.
Posts: 63 | From: New York | Registered: Nov 2005
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I know Snoozin! It's unbelievable to me that she is in such denial! It's literally driving me up the wall. I have to let it go for awhile because there is really not much I can do about it besides tell her what I think over and over again.
Posts: 63 | From: New York | Registered: Nov 2005
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A lot of red alarm bells are ringing..........I hope your friend hear them on time!!!! I think he is leading a double life, his life with your friend AND a life with his Egyptian family. This happens really a lot. I hope your friend wakes up ........ Doesn't she find it strange that she cannot meet his family or go to his village....??? He wants to keep his 2 lives completely separate.
Posts: 29 | From: Amsterdam-Holland | Registered: Jan 2005
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I wasn't fully aware of the whole situation until about 8 months ago when I was going up to visit on the weekends. I started seeing all of this and she was complaining about the money situation. Duh! I guess love really is blind (and deaf and dumb)
Posts: 63 | From: New York | Registered: Nov 2005
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Gemi, How old is your friend and her husband, just as a curiosity.For her parents be paying for all the bills and nobody knows why is very odd in US. Does she has any kind of disability? He can not bring his family to US as his Family anyway because he is married here. If the Imigration finds uot that he lied when he got legal in US, he will be deported. She is not 'alowed' in his village? Is there a gate? I would hire a travel agent and go visit as a tourist for a couple hours.We live in the 21st century, remember? Why are people so passive? Why let somebody take control of their lives? Why are people so dependent, so desperate that take little or nothing just to have a body beside. Because it is not a relationship...Is it?
Posts: 106 | From: Florida, USA | Registered: Jan 2006
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I agree with you santanesia. Her parents for some ungodly reason have pampered her to the poing where she would be unable to take care of herself in the real world, they think they are helping when in reality they are hurting her. They are both about 37 years old. I spoke to her and told her that since he lied when they got the marriage license about his being married before (and allegedly divorced) her marriage was null and void. She disagrees with me on this and every other point I bring up to her. He is insisting that she cannot meet his family for the reasons I've described above. I have talked till I'm blue in the face to no avail. She is leaving in a week and he is coming back with her, so he says. I wonder why he would come back? He has a green card now and has to wait I think 2 more years for full citizenship. Do you think he is wiling to have a sham marriage for 2 years just for his papers when she can turn around and have them revoked due to him lying? Or, he will be able to save quite a few dollars in a couple of years so maybe it doesn't matter to him. As you can see I am completely exasperated by the whole situation and I'm just going to give it a rest until she realizes what's going on which wont happen until he ups and leaves or something and then she;s really going to feel stupid. Oh, to answer your question, no she is not on disability, she is lazy. She has no need to work or do anything not even clean house or cook because Mommy and Daddy are always there. YUK Thanks again for the input. I can always get answers or good opinions here.
Posts: 63 | From: New York | Registered: Nov 2005
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I would tell your friend to go to Egypt and go to his family's house. She needs to know the truth one way or another. If she finds out that he lied, report that to INS. If he falsefied the papers, they will take back his green card. When you go to the interveiw, they make you swear in, like in court. So he will get in alot of trouble, if he lied. I almost married my husband here in America before meeting his family, but I just had a nagging doubt. I told him no we had to wait until I went there and checked everything out. Luckily he was a good person, but he admits that there are alot of guys just looking for a ticket out of Egypt-especially to America.
Posts: 14 | From: USA | Registered: Oct 2005
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Alec, I agree. For most Eyptian men, family is very important. For the family to meet the wife is usually extremely important. I was married twice, heehee, in both countries, US and Masr. Okay, not really married twice, but we had to have a big party with his family and community. And I wore basically a big white abaya. LOL! My choice. If he didnt want his wife to meet his family I can only think the worst. What was he telling them these years he was married away from home? Didn't she talk to them in phone? Send gifts and cards and photos? If not, how did he explain the lack of contact with the family there? That's strange. Giving him the benefit of the doubt, is it possible his family is very poor and doesn't want his wife to see where he came from? Knowing the pride of any man, but especially an Egyptian one, this is possible. Hmmm, I wonder exactly which village he is from? Is he from "southern" Egypt?
Posts: 1161 | From: wo xiang xiao bian ji si le | Registered: Oct 2005
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I noticed that most of the egyptians who are living in america or abroad in general are the wrong ones , i mean the majority of egyptians living abroad are not the most approporiate egyptians for immigration they give Egypt and egyptians a very bad reputation. Three (3) weeks ago i was at the airport picking my cousin, i saw egyptians who are leaving to Australia , UK and USA and i was shocked i was like what the heck are they doing abroad ! and how did they get to immigrate !
It is so ironic and i just cant find any explanation , i wish you can help me with that .
-------------------- HandsUpHandsDown is that american woman who used to be known as "ana huna" in ES! Strange but true. Posts: 1123 | Registered: Oct 2005
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I don't think the family is ashamed. He told my friend that they didn't want to meet her because she was Jewish (she has converted to Islam). I don't understand why it was never mentioned the whole two years they've been together, he just mentioned it when she was pushing to go to Egypt. He spoke with them on the phone often and they all know he is married, I am pretty sure anyway. He's from a small town near Cairo. I told her to insist that she meet his family but she says "no, I really don't care to meet them now" I think she is afraid of the truth. He was a lawyer in Egypt and has a practice that he runs from the US but he never has money, he when he's working he asks her for money. Yikes, I don't know but I think it's pretty obvious that something is very fishy. From what I've read here in Egypt the family is very important and you would think they would really want to meet her. ???
Posts: 63 | From: New York | Registered: Nov 2005
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I asked a guy about this( hes egyptian) and he more or less said must be another wife...and said that if this guy accepted money from his wife parents like that he is really really bad. He also said the same thing as egyptianguy posted-why do they let the bad ones get the good life!!!
Posts: 872 | From: Sydney | Registered: Nov 2005
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Gemi, She should at least be happy that she has a good friend in you. I don't think that you can say anything that will matter. She is love blind, unhappily. If she was a christian before would that be diferent? I mean, because she was a jewish before. Just curiosity... My parents always 'baby" my sister very much, and now they are gone(1 year) and she is lost, 43 yrs old, divorced with a 8 yrs old son.We try to help but she just 'burns' money.
Posts: 106 | From: Florida, USA | Registered: Jan 2006
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OK, just an update and I am almost in shock over this one. My friend called me yesterday to say that her husband was arrested in Egypt. Why you ask? Get this: One of his friends that was living in the US apparently went to Egypt and spread rumors that hubby was married to an Israeli. What! Her husband called her to say he had been arrested and that she should not come to Egypt. He is trying everything in the book to keep her away. If this doesn't make her wake up I don't know what will. He said he was interrogated and that they took his US green card. She told him she was coming to Egypt and he better have someone in his family pick her up. She is really angry now as I think all of the deception is starting to sink in. Do you think she is in danger? I mean if he is going to all of these lengths to keep her away I am afraid something might happen to her there. Again, I appreciate all of the feedback from you guys. I was just speechless when she told me that yesterday.
Posts: 63 | From: New York | Registered: Nov 2005
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i wouldnt let her go on her own... it does sound dangerous but apart from that she going to get hurt emotionally.
Posts: 5642 | From: hellonearth.myfastforum.org Forum Index | Registered: Feb 2006
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Is she Israeli (does she have a passport) or has she been to Israel (and has a visa in her US passport)?
If this guy really wants to keep her away at all cost, he could try "tipping" the Egyptian authorities that she's a spy, or something silly like that. It probably would just mean she would stay at customs waiting for maybe an hour instead of 30 seconds, while they checked her name against various lists, etc.
Posts: 2182 | Registered: Oct 2002
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No, she is not an Israeli. She is an American citizen but I think, only God knows why, she told him that she was an Israeli. I am worried about her safety in Egypt.
Posts: 63 | From: New York | Registered: Nov 2005
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Hmm. That sounds like the core problem here-this is just my thoughts but maybe this guy thinks its ok to use her and her family money because she/they is the " enemy". I mean if he is going to such huge lengths to stop her coming then he obviously has something to hide beyond feeling embarrased he lives in a poor situation in egypt. Maybe his family are really anti jewish, and he just cant have them know about this episode in his life, EVEN though she has converted?Maybe his family just would not accept or understand? I really suggets your friend does not go on her own,because she just might be too overwrought. I also think he has another wife, and he has been sending his money to get that flat for that purpose ( isnt it usual to supply flat/house when you marry in egypt?) How are they keeping in touch while hes there actually? Is he calling her or does she have a number?
Posts: 872 | From: Sydney | Registered: Nov 2005
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I don't think she should go alone either but she insists. He calls her from his "office" phone. Supposedly he is a lawyer in Egypt and has a practice. First time I'm hearing of the practice. She said he used the money he earns from that for his family. I have spoke to him many, many times and not once did he mention a practice. Naturally, she does not have a number to contact him. Even if this is the case that his family is really anti jewish he never once mentioned that either and was always promising to take her to meet them. I think they would have mentioned their feelings to him in the past two years instead of waiting until he gets to Egypt. By the way. Though she says she is a Muslim and wears a head cover she has never stepped foot inside a Mosque, read the Quran, or recite the prayer. She makes no effort to learn about Islam and actually would get pretty incensed when her hubby and I would bring up the subject of religion. She has always professed to be an athiest. ????
Posts: 63 | From: New York | Registered: Nov 2005
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True Anthropos. I feel like I need to see a shrink after trying to convince her something is wrong.
Posts: 63 | From: New York | Registered: Nov 2005
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A shrink? A bunch of them. Gemi, I was a little conserd about the 'Israeli'. I know some jewish american citizens that call thenselfs 'israelis', but she knew that she was marriyng a muslim. She says she converted but call herself a atheist? She is a nut case. I would try to call the Egyptian Embassy and say that she needs help finding her hubby in prision there and ask if it is safe for her as a 'israeli' to go .
Posts: 106 | From: Florida, USA | Registered: Jan 2006
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Well, she's taking off on Wednesday. He told her that she can't meet his kids because his "ex" wife wont allow it. Should be interesting to see what transpires.
Posts: 63 | From: New York | Registered: Nov 2005
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Gemi, do you mean tomorow, April/5? Good luck to her!! I hope that all goes well. Is she going by herself?
Posts: 106 | From: Florida, USA | Registered: Jan 2006
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I think all is lied. Often they are with women more than 3 years hear in Germany in order to receive the papers. The woman is paying for food etc, and often they are stolen by him. And they sent the money to egypt, but often not by love. The son who gives much is more respected in the family. I think he is married there and the his wife knows how he earns the money. And the story of being in jail is often told to become money again.
I hope that your friend will wake up.
Your friendship will help her.
Posts: 38 | From: Germany | Registered: Mar 2006
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Yes, she is going alone. I asked her if he would be coming back with her and she said that whoever arrested him would not give him back his papers. I asked her who arrested him? Police? military? She said he told her that he did not know. Oh brother. Apparently he has rented an apartment in Cairo where she will be staying while she is there. He also told her that she cannot meet his 2 sons as his (ex)wife said she would not allow it. She absolutely believes everything that he says. I hope she will be safe.
Posts: 63 | From: New York | Registered: Nov 2005
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