By Anthea Gerrie Last updated at 12:51 AM on 25th June 2009 Comments (132)
After they married, Jane and Gary Sherbrooke enthusiastically posted their wedding photos on Facebook for all their friends to see. And on their six-month extended honeymoon, shots of their travels through India, Nepal and Sri Lanka were uploaded on to their home page on the popular social networking site. As the months passed, the site became an increasingly detailed record of their lives.
Most recently, they added pictures of their baby son Sam, sleeping contentedly in Jane's arms on the day he was born.
Online shock: Gary and Jane's newly wedded bliss was shattered by a woman who contacted them on Facebook claiming she'd slept with Gary
Not for a moment did they give a thought to protecting their family privacy. Nor did they realise that what they thought was a fun and modern way to keep in touch with friends could have a darker side.
But their lives were about to change with the click of a mouse. One evening, like thousands of others settling down to their Facebook pages, Jane spied a message from an online 'friend' she did not recognise. 'It was from a woman calling herself Jennifer May Phillips and her words chilled my blood,' says Jane, a 31-year-old consultant.
'It said: "I have slept with only two men in my life and the most recent was Gary. He gave me chlamydia. If I had not had any symptoms I would never have known and it could have prevented me from having children if I had not had it diagnosed for a long enough period of time.
' "I do not want any contact with you or him whatsoever and that is history but I'm just letting you know as I am 100 per cent certain that you would have it also."
'It ended with: "I am sorry" - and that was that. My first reaction was to think this was a load of rubbish,' says Jane, 'but as I showed Gary the message I couldn't help bursting into tears. How could it possibly be a mistake?
'Gary insisted he had never heard of this woman and that she must have sent it to the wrong person. But I felt so tired and vulnerable I didn't know what to think.'
'I have never been unfaithful to my wife but I could see the seeds of doubt had been planted' In fact, it was a malicious hoax, an increasingly sinister side to these seemingly innocuous websites.
When the Sherbrookes joined up two years ago, they thought it was a great way to keep in touch with friends, family and acquaintances.
As they were about to set off on their travels, they decided, perhaps naively, not to restrict access to their home page - which meant it could be looked at by anyone.
And before long, they had built up quite a network of 'friends' in their bespoke online community, gathered from every area of their lives including work, university and school.
They got into the habit of posting regular updates and enjoyed replying to messages left on their Facebook 'wall'. But what they hadn't considered was that their profile could also be viewed by strangers.
Facebook, which is now in its fifth year, has more than 150 million users globally.
Without realising the full implications, Gary, a 35-year-old City insurance broker, and Jane really were sharing their lives with the world. And not all users have such innocent motives.
Life on show: Like thousands of others, Gary and Jane did not consider protecting their family privacy when updating their Facebook page 'My heart was racing when Jane showed me that message,' admits Gary. 'I was panicking and the look on Jane's face said it all. I have never been unfaithful to my wife but I could see the seeds of doubt had been planted.'
Gary examined the woman's profile carefully, wondering if he'd ever met her or if she'd mistaken him for someone else. But since his 100 or so photographs could be seen by anyone, she would have been able to see his face.
'Jane was so upset,' he says, 'she didn't know what to think but from then on, my mission was to clear my name.'
The couple tried to email 'Jennifer', urging her to get in touch and admit she'd made a mistake. But there was no reply.
'I sent at least two messages begging her to get in touch,' says Jane. 'The second laid it out clearly: "My marriage is at stake and a baby is involved, so please be honest with me" but still we didn't hear anything.
'I kept going over in my head whether Gary would be unfaithful - surely not. I felt we were so happy. I thought of the few times we'd been apart over the past couple of years, and thought again: "What if it's true?"
'But Gary continued to deny it and he was so upset, I felt surely he must be innocent. In a moment of panic I even considered a chlamydia test, but that would have been almost admitting it was true.'
The following day, Gary emailed each of 'Jennifer's' Facebook 'friends', asking them how I could get in touch with her.
'I was shocked to discover that apart from one girl who sent a very rude brush off, none of the others had ever met her or actually knew her.
'One guy didn't even realise she was listed as one of his friends. This only added to the frustration. 'I was convinced Jennifer would email one of us shortly and admit her error, especially when she realised the heartache she had caused. But we didn't hear a word from her.'
Two days after the Sherbrookes received the message, Jennifer removed her profile from Facebook.
'We want other people to be aware of the dangers Facebook can expose you to'Gary says: 'Eventually, it dawned on me that this could be a complete stranger and not a middle-class girl in her 20s at all. Maybe a teenager, maybe a 40-year-old man living at home with his mum, maybe a mental patient.
'It was like an electronic poison pen letter. Whoever it was clearly wanted to inflict pain and suffering on someone. And what a perfect - and cowardly - way to do it, on a social networking website where you can be as evil as you want and never be found.'
Despite the 'tiny nagging doubt' she admits to having had, Jane has since come to believe her husband.
'It was only gradually that I came to see how odd it all was. When I looked closely at the picture of this pretty girl, I realised it was so grainy, it could have been cut out of a magazine.
'And when this Jennifer then removed her page, I realised, finally, this was a made-up profile. It was easier to cope once I realised it was a hoax but that still didn't explain why we had been targeted,' says Jane. But the Sherbrookes are not the first to fall foul of Facebook. The most worrying fact is that despite an increasing number of horror stories, social networking sites are more popular than ever.
Busy lives and friends and family separated by distance have all helped make cyber networking as normal as making a phonecall.
'We just want other people to be aware of the dangers a network like Facebook can expose you to,' says Jane. I wouldn't want anyone else to go through what we did. It hurt us at a time when we should have been at our happiest
posted
Why is her name already brought up a second time today on this forum?? It get's me kind of nervous. I am just happy that she's gone, gone for good from here. Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
Actually I've had 2 epsisodes similar on facebook. About 3 mths after I met my husband I got a friend request and a message trying to find out things about me from what turned out to be an ex girlfriend of his who made up a fake profile which was so blatant because the profile picture was a picture cut out of a magazine.
Then I got an email from some random person the other day on FB telling me I was a poor poor girl and that my husband only married me for a visa so he could stay in the UAE!! The truth behind that is he has his own company here and I'm on his bloody visa. She also sent my husband a message saying we looked like Punch and Judy on our wedding pics. Neither of us have any friends in common with this woman and as far as I know only friends can view my pics...but whatever...there are some sad people out there
Most likely it was the same person both times!
Posts: 500 | From: United Arab Emirates | Registered: Jul 2008
| IP: Logged |
posted
Ahhh!! I opened my FB account last summer but never used it. Perhaps it's better that way!!
Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
You can have a 'limited profile' on Facebook, then only accepted friends can see your postings, your pictures. My husby doesn't want to be on FB and so I removed pics from the both of us. He is a wise guy . FB is fun as long as all people act the way they should. Posts: 2932 | From: Just now and then | Registered: Nov 2006
| IP: Logged |
posted
same here i only use facebook for the good people on es..
-------------------- your ass is so tight when you fart only a dog can hear it.when you queef only a cat can hear that one. Posts: 9776 | From: You like If only mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood. | Registered: Jul 2007
| IP: Logged |
posted
ROFL @ Punch and Judy.. Punch & Judy.Posts: 3219 | From: Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone. | Registered: Nov 2005
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by desertgirl: You can have a 'limited profile' on Facebook, then only accepted friends can see your postings, your pictures. My husby doesn't want to be on FB and so I removed pics from the both of us. He is a wise guy . FB is fun as long as all people act the way they should.
I agree DG. I only allow friends to see my postings etc but I am surprised how many people want to 'add you as a friend' when you have no friends in common Posts: 4476 | From: Scotland | Registered: Mar 2006
| IP: Logged |
posted
if any of you are on my facebook , dont open the link that says "my video" .someone has placed it on my site and i think its a bad virus so dont open it. there are real azzholes out there and cant do anything better then to mess with innocent people. sorry about allthis guys but just ignore it
Posts: 9443 | From: USA...... | Registered: Jun 2006
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by dolphin redsea: if any of you are on my facebook , dont open the link that says "my video" .someone has placed it on my site and i think its a bad virus so dont open it. there are real azzholes out there and cant do anything better then to mess with innocent people. sorry about allthis guys but just ignore it
cant u open yr account and delet it sweety?
Posts: 9776 | From: You like If only mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood. | Registered: Jul 2007
| IP: Logged |
posted
Report it as offensive and it will be removed You can change your settings and manage privacy accordingly. There is a block list
Posts: 564 | From: planet earth | Registered: Jan 2008
| IP: Logged |
posted
thanks *****, but i dont know who to block,they are all mostly friends , i do change my passwoed alot though, just might delete the whole thing Posts: 9443 | From: USA...... | Registered: Jun 2006
| IP: Logged |
posted
Facebook changes privacy controls so members feel safe to share
Updated 6h 37m ago By Jon Swartz, USA TODAY
SAN FRANCISCO Facebook is streamlining its complicated privacy controls to give its millions of members more control over what photos, comments and personal details they share with friends, family and strangers on Facebook and beyond.
The change is considered vital as the 5-year-old social-networking service further expands its user base now at more than 200 million and competes with Twitter, MySpace and Google.
Twitter, in particular, has generated plenty of buzz and viewership as a must-see site for breaking news.
"When tools are simple, users are more likely to use them," Chris Kelly, Facebook's chief privacy officer, said in a conference call with reporters Wednesday.
The changes should appear over the next several weeks.
The new privacy controls let Facebook "use the collective knowledge of its members to become a breaking news site," says Marissa Gluck, managing partner at Radar Research.
In the past few weeks, Twitter has become even more of a digital hub first as a mobilizing force for Iranian citizens to communicate with the outside world during their national election and, last week, as a primary news source for many on the death of Michael Jackson.
"It leverages the strength of Facebook the friend network while also making it a broadcast medium similar to Twitter," says Charlene Li, founder of digital-strategy consulting firm Altimeter Group.
Privacy experts lauded the move. Kevin Bankston, senior staff attorney at non-profit Electronic Frontier Foundation, says the new options solve a long-standing issue. Some Facebook users often shared provocative photos and off-color comments with workers and casual friends, creating awkward situations.
"The new settings allow greater flexibility and control," he says. But he is concerned that even if users share intimate information only with close friends, it could leave them exposed if hackers break into accounts or the government requested access to the sensitive data.
"Facebook wants to expand into the Web, but the promise it made to consumers was as a safe, private place," says Jeremiah Owyang, senior analyst at Forrester Research. "Facebook is going through adolescence from a private area for teenagers to a public person of the online community."
The move could also improve Facebook's standing with some major advertisers. People who set their status updates to "everyone" and mention a product or a brand name will make their way to the Internet, says Debra Aho Williamson, an analyst at eMarketer.
Previously, it was impossible for marketers to know unless they heard directly from a Facebook member, she says.
quote:Originally posted by dolphin redsea: thanks *****, but i dont know who to block,they are all mostly friends , i do change my passwoed alot though, just might delete the whole thing
Hi Dolphin go into settings you will find it at the top right hand corner then follow directions you can change settings of who views yr info and some friends you do not trust.
Posts: 564 | From: planet earth | Registered: Jan 2008
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by dolphin redsea: thanks *****, but i dont know who to block,they are all mostly friends , i do change my passwoed alot though, just might delete the whole thing
Hi Dolphin go into settings you will find it at the top right hand corner then follow directions you can change settings of who views yr info and some friends you do not trust.
thank you very much, did it now see if it works for a while Posts: 9443 | From: USA...... | Registered: Jun 2006
| IP: Logged |
UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!
![[Confused]](confused.gif)
![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
I opened my FB account last summer but never used it. Perhaps it's better that way!!
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
.
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
![[Mad]](mad.gif)
there are real azzholes out there and cant do anything better then to mess with innocent people. sorry about allthis guys but just ignore it
Printer-friendly view of this topic